Women Fight Back The Days Events



Published August 2012

 This is a little piece I scribed after the Women Fight Back Show and was first published in the Cage Amateurs UK Blog on our Vistaprint Website.
Women Fight Back Poster
At last the time has arrived for Women Fight Back in aid of Victim Support . If you don't know already it was the brain child of Emma "Aphrodite" Smith held under the C.S.M.M.A. banner at  The Fight Science Gym in Aldershot. 

After loading the stuff into the OB vehicle, which in reality is a Citroen Van Dan uses for work, we took to the road making good time to Aldershot. For a while that was until the M25 ground to a halt leading us to take to an alternative route. Not good when you have a sat nav that suffers from amnesia. Not the end of the world, although it did feel like we was getting near it we were so far off route, we carried on to Fight Science arriving at Mid Day.
In we went saying our hello's and as luck would have it Nick "Headhunter" Chapman was in the building resulting in our first Interview of the day in the can and us escaping complete with heads intact. Out to the van for the 30th something cigarette when Dan started pointing into the barren wasteland in front of us. Through the rolling mist a figure could be seen struggling towards the sanctuary of Fight Science.
We welcome the figure which was actually George McCann who having walked from the station 10 minutes away was bitching like hell swearing black was blue he had just walked up something the size Mt Snowdon. As there was no such thing in sight we offered no sympathy and despite his complaints made him a permanent member of the Cage Amateurs UK. away team.Fight Science Gym Image
Interviews with the lady fighters came next and an embarrassing 
realisation that our knowledge if not our memory was letting us down. Even by using the comprehensive list Mark Corpe had compiled proved to be of little help as it turned out to be the most un comprehensive comprehensive list ever seen. Not a big problem for me as they said their names for the tenth time I just kept my gob shut and shook my head in disgust at Dan in the way my wife does to me, a sort of cross between pity and pissed off. Thus giving the impression I was well aware of their names. Luckily people don't actually talk to the guy with the camera its a bit like being the middle child, so I escaped with my dignity intact while Dan's was falling by the interview.

Bradley Wharton arrived followed by Bret Freeman resulting in another interview with Bradley and George. I bet you thought I was going to say Bret didn't you. 

We wasn't sure if Louis KO King and his brother were going to make it but then Dan spotted Tommy King and like a racing snake headed in his direction resulting in a great interview. Dan had been waiting for an interview with his brother Louis KO King so as he arrived Dan was straight on the case. Louis shook hands with us all and believe me when I say he's got the grip of a Boa Constrictor and luckily for me George commented on his hand nearly being crushed saving me from saying it and looking like a big girl. 

Dan made of stronger stuff never blinked an eye lid, I expect that's due to the fact he's currently in training for Cage Fighting ( Of which he does not know about, a match up I am currently trying to arrange as soon as Snow White wakes up.)
After waiting for the sound check to finish we got started just to be joined by another sound check that would have made Wembley Stadium shake. The show started and with our promo video on two big screens with the music blaring I admit I sort of just stood looking gormless watching it. 

Bradley Wharton and George McCann commentating cage sideSo now to the fights. By fight three I was aching like a good un and moaning at Dan when ever he opened his mouth and as the night went on things got worse with both my neck and back hurting like hell. The show finished and to say the least we got off to a slow start in trying to get the address of the hotel pretty much leaving an hour later than just about everyone else. Still have not worked out how between three of us we did not think too follow someone else heading that way. Well two of us I was still busy moaning like fuck. George took the bull by the bollocks and went and got the address of the hotel which I started typing into the sat nav only to be told as he told me the last letter Q and pressed enter "or It could be T". Probably more bitching from me as I headed of to get the post code again only to pretty much do the same as George while typing it in. 

Off we went some how finding the hotel which was on the high street, so where's the parking? Don't know how we did it but what a fuck up we made of that including putting money in the parking ticket machine only to be informed that we were paid up till 3.30. AM and surprisingly that we didn't need to pay between the hours of 22.00 and 0.600.
OK back to the moaning like fuck but this time it was Dan about the loss of his 60p. Back to the van. So we tried something a little different stopping to book into the hotel and dropping off some equipment. In went George and I, only to be told by reception that the room was for 3 and one place was taken. Mental moaning like fuck, Dan outside moaning like fuck and with George attempting to master the plastic key card in the call lift slot with only minor success at first, resulting in my mental moaning like fuck turning into the vocal type by each extra swipe of the key card. After a few more goes we were back to attempting to find the room. Well we found it, opened the door and there was a laptop on the side which George identified as Bradley Wharton's which George tried his best to access and download Internet porn from one of the most expensive sites he could find.

Then it hit us that there was one double bed and a sofa it didn't really take long for us both to work out there was a bit of a problem with the maths here. Okay recap. Me moaning like fuck, Dan moaning like fuck and George flapping like fuck as our taste for Banjo music and the fact he had watched Deliverance the night before had set his mind running riot. Back to the van to cheer Dan up. 

Off we set to find some parking which we did with only limited problems until to the post incident. There we were driving through an empty car park when George started yelling hotly followed by me as we closed in on a post sticking out of the ground. Dan happily checking out the night sky was blissfully unaware of our pending impalement, looked around startled by the noise resembling a group of girls at a boy band concert and by a gnats stopped the van. So now we got George and I & Dan now shitting like fuck at the thought he could have killed his van if not ourselves. 

Two women cage fightersThis situation did nothing to reduce my choice of bad language which was becoming less varied and had first started while we were patrolling the streets looking for a parking place. Well we made it to the hotel and joined the others in the bar who were being shown how to play knuckles by KC Kendall. Bradley decided to make a quick escape from the slaughter she was giving his hands and joined us, in his head no doubt working out what myself and George has worked out earlier. 

Being of advanced years myself and Dan headed off to the room leaving George in the bar with Bradley. Once in the room I pretty much crashed out until I sensed someone coming in about 6 in the morning. It was George returning from the bar, fuck I was impressed with Bradley still going strong, as it turned out not in the bar. I sprung into life and jumped up waking up the boys, One, Two Three, Fo. Three oh. Sticking to the Cage Amateurs UK motto Who Cares Who Wins we had to bug out leaving Bradley to fend for himself as the parking ran out at ten leaving his laptop at reception before an undignified dash to the car park.

Well fuck my old boots, and as you know I'm not one to complain, there was a road crew doing a number on what was now a seriously diminished road. To make things worse they had cut the roads off. Now where? A couple of one way streets the wrong way, round too the back door at ASDA and a couple of other wrong turns. Waving the sat nav in the air through the open window I succeeded in getting a satellite connection. Not that this put George off as now he had climbed the mountain peek the day before he was now thinking he is some kind of Sherpa or Indiana fucking Jones disagreeing with the sat nav clearly telling us third exit from roundabout while George was saying second. No wonder he thought he'd climbed a mountain the day before he had gone via Wales from the station. Well we made it to the station and dropped George off followed by an uneventfully journey home. It was a great day, an eventful day, George cracks me up and remains part of the away team all the time he wants. Thank you Emma for having us at Women Fight Back
Jon P

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