The Jobber Blogger #61 – TNA: Impact Wrestling 1/8/13

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 The Jobber Blogger #61 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING 1/8/13


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Welcome one, welcome all! Perhaps even welcome more, but not too many, I’m really anti-social. It’s why I want to be a Writer for a career, I can’t stand people. They have them… faces…greasy faces with bad manners and expect me to do things! Well up yours! You can praise me from a far whilst I scowl and swear at you from a distance…behind a curtain… under the cover…. reading Spider-man comics.

So isn’t life fun, I suddenly just realised I could use this platform to complain about my life… I say life, I have nothing to complain about, well aside from Work, I’m not a fan of my job. It’s finally hit the “I’m done with this” feeling, and by finally I mean as of a year ago. I’ve had at least 4 “ways to leave work” plans in motion all of which I was talked out of. All this “it’s easier to get a job from a job” lark, hey, you only live once, why waste so much of my life doing something I don’t like. Sure I get paid, not a lot, but it’s money, and that of course in turn feeds my Comic book thirst and video game cravings and random spending on things I probably don’t need. But alas, the final verdict is to just bite the bullet…. and quit. I can’t quit, I have too much pride, so I’ve sunk to theft to get fired.

Ahh, anyone who has read this before knows that I am joking… mostly… about the theft part at least. So I shall encourage you to Read On, mighty readers, you. Let your eyes be my audience and I shall steal your life with worthless ranting about Wrestling!


(not used that in a long time!)

Impact Wrestling Logo


Speaking of worthless, this week’s TNA lived up to TNA’s own moniker or always having good ideas, but Terrible, TERRIBLE execution. It’s like they have the Good Cop, Bad Cop in management:

Good Cop – “So I have this awesome idea of this mystery guy sending in cryptic messages about coming to Impact next week, and no-one will know who it is, and it will build all this Internet Hype and we will have this Huge platform to do something awesome!”

Bad Cop – “Hey that’s a great idea… let’s make it so who debuts, No One Has Heard of!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!! And get this, HE CANT EVEN WRESTLE!! MWHAHAHAHAH!!!! And he SUCKS!”

Good Cop – “errr….? okay?”



I will save most of my rant for when I get to that part in the show, but aside from the Terrible ending, this show was solid.

We finally see Taz back, he does nothing but walk around outside yelling about how angry he is.

Don’t you hate it, when your sat with your arms apart and you just feel sweat dripping down your side.. it’s not even that hot.

Either way, Taz was banned from the Impact Zone because he “no-showed” the last two weeks for some reason. It’s stupid that it’s gotten this far, Taz could have been doing this when he first joined The Aces and Eights. I would like to see Taz used more than just an announcer, but who knows how this is going to play out. Though having him backstage as a “care free” interview personality could actually be rather interesting. Taz however was irate, and so angry, he called “Someone”…. that about sums up TNA’s fantastic writing.

Birthday Seat

Austin Aries kicks off the show by making his way to the ring, and this week he looks slightly better. He seems to like doing weird things with his facial hair, and weird things tend to just look… weird.

Though Aries has had a good few different looks over the years, so who is to say what is best?

Aries faces

Aries wanted to congratulate Chris Sabin (who the more I see as World Champ, the more I hate him) the only good thing about Sabin being the champion is that he can put on a great Main Event with Aries, and I for one would love to see that. And of course have Aries win the belt back, because he’s a fantastic World Champion. Sabin just isn’t at that level. But of course Aries’ main point was to discuss he winning the Bound For Glory series, and his big match tonight with AJ Styles.

I really liked the fact that Aries pointed out that for the first 10years of TNA, AJ Styles was the top guy, the best in the industry. And since A-Double has been back with TNA, he has been the most high profile performer.

And in typical Wrestling fashion, Roode crashes the segment.

Roode forgot my pants

Roode and Aries had an official “Break Up” with them both getting a little heated with one another, which works out fine as Roode is sick of being on a losing streak and declares “I’m going back to what won me the belt” and “people have forgotten what I am capable of”.

Of course I agree completely, Roode is the pinnacle of “World Champion Material” and for my money nobody has been a better World Champion in TNA since he had the belt, or even since AJ Styles last held it 3 and a half years ago.

Bobby Roode vs. Hernandez – BFG Series

Roode fell over

Is it bad that I enjoy the little “slip ups” it’s not in a “taking the piss” type of manor… it’s just really funny.

I still don’t know quite where to put Hernandez in all of this, I guess it’s kind of good that he is in the BFG Series and being used regularly. I do fully expect Chavo to turn on him eventually and that be a Grudge match at some point around Bound for Glory. But Hernandez is pretty good in the ring, but of course not as good as Bobby Roode.

They have a good back and forth match, Roode tried for the Cross-Face victory, but then went to his “what brought him to the dance” type of style (the very same style he still uses…) and landed a sneaky Low-Blow on Hernandez and Rolled him up holding the tights, but only getting a Two-Count. Roode proceeds to go and trash the outside area just as he did last week, and throws multiple chairs in the ring. Brian Hebner then removes the chairs as Roode uses a Beer Bottle and Smashes it over the head of Hernandez and gets the win.

I still find it funny when they sneakily use weapons that leave a distinct mess but the Ref plays it off as “meh, whatever”. Good ol’ Wrestling Logic!

Roode gets his first win in the Series and earns himself 7Points.

Manik cool

For the first time since we’ve seen TJ Perkins as the man behind “Suicide / Manik” I’ve been excited for the Character. And he actually pulled it off really well. Talking about how using this “Manik” Character and Mask created an identity to make a name for himself, when just being himself wasn’t enough. It was a little glimpse of a Dark Character turn that would see the good youthful TJ being drawn into the Manik character. Almost like a Superman / Rorschach where the Costume is their true identity, and the man beneath is the disguise.

Of course this segment was ruined by Chris Sabin pulling his “Sulky, I’ve been Slapped” face blabbing on and trying his best to cut a promo that sucked. I can’t even begin to explain how much I hate Sabin as World Champion. I used to love Sabin… now I can’t stand him!

Jay Bradley vs. Joseph Park (w/Eric Young) – BFG Series

So before the match the new partnership of EY and Park showed EY giving Park a gift to help him out in the ring. The gift was Amateur Wrestling style Head-Gear to protect Park from taking too many hits to the head / being busted open and losing control.

It’s interesting to think about, but seeing as pretty much everyone else (if not… everyone else) who has won Gut Check has recently been Fired, you have to think, if Bradley wasn’t a part of the BFG Series, would they have fired him too? I still like Bradley, but thus far, he isn’t exactly anything special. It’s a strange position for him to be in given his experience and development, not to mention the recent layoffs.

Bradley focus’ on Park’s head-gear and eventually removes it, setting him up for the “Boom-Stick” to which Park catches him with a Samoan Drop and picks up a victory and 7Points.

The Main Event Mafia have their own “Club House” variation set up in the back that is all fancy decorated, I guess it shows they are in touch with a more “classy, sophisticated… womanly… side?”

MEM feminine

Sting talks about that to take down The Aces and Eights, they need to make “Sacrifices” and are they all ready to make this potential Sacrifice, and make an offer to the Aces and Eights “They can’t refuse!” I am sick of hearing that saying too. But it’s not as bad as Rampage Jackson adding “No matter what they say, I came here to fight!” Who is he talking about? Why did anyone give him a line to say? This guy sucks so much!

I hate him nearly as much as I hate Sabin being World Champion. Why are you spending money on Rampage Jackson? How the hell did he get an Acting Job. Whatever “build up” he had when he first debuted is just gone now. He looks impressive, he could have worked quite well as an “Angle” but not a official part of the Roster.

Manik vs. Chris Sabin – Champion vs. Champion

If there is any good to be found in Sabin being World Champion, it’s that we get this match! Sabin and Manik put on a great opening set of moves, counters and reversals to “test the water”. But you know what this showed above anything else, the very same thing I said since “Suicide” came back… he is better than Sabin. And putting them against each other made a great match, but he is better than Sabin.

TNA’s saving grace is it’s “WRESTLING” part of their Roster, and Sabin and Manik led the way with a fantastic match, a match that for me goes into the category for Match of the Year.

There is little else I can say that will do it justice, just watch it if you haven’t seen it already.

Sabin connects with his “Hail Sabin” and picks up the win. Which is when Bully Ray attacks Sabin from behind. Now I have expected Manik to not help out Sabin, and in a way, he didn’t. He just so happened to get in the way and Bully turned his attention to Manik, which left Sabin an opening to fight back at Bully, and Bully to leave. But after the “what the hell are you doing?” storyline of Bully’s lawyer last week, it was better to actually have Bully be a Bully and just beat up the guy.

Earlier on in the night we saw a White – Hummer – Limo arrive, with everyone speculating that the #August1Warning was inside. Taz who was still rambling and wondering around outside decided to show the world who it was. And instead opened the door and just laughed. And we see there is a Laptop set up with the same Warning Videos being played.

Gail Kim vs. ODB

I keep making a note to mention this every week, but Gail Kim’s new mix of her music is really good! I always felt the original was a bit too drawn out and took a while to get going. They revamped the intro which goes straight into the Vocals, so it fits better. Good stuff!

So guess what, after nearly a year of Taryn Terrell being made the official Knockouts Referee after what… 10years of having the normal Ref’s refereeing the matches, and then Joey Ryan and ODB. We actually just go back to having the normal Ref’s again. Jee… that seems like a good idea, why did it take them this long and pretend like it was such a big deal.

Though I did think, since her feud with Taryn, Gail has been front and centre for taking some hefty damage. The Last Knockout Standing match, the Ladder Match, and now ODB throwing her around pretty damn rough. I do wonder if Gail is happy to take this sort of onslaught.

Either way the match was more of a brawl, Gail attempted the Figure 4 Leg-Lock on the outside / Turnbuckle, but ODB countered. They ended up brawling on the outside and eventually got Counted Out, and continued to Brawl, so this is not done yet. Perhaps it will continue to Hardcore Justice, and letting them raise the bar once more? I don’t know.

AJ Styles cut a little Promo, he has done this before, but AJ isn’t always great at Promo’s, and I seem to remember some of his more recent ones didn’t quite “work” as well. But however this one, he nailed it! AJ is still my pick for the BFG Series, I love this re-invention and as always, TNA can bring in who they want, but AJ Styles in the heart and soul and always will be the Face of TNA Wrestling, and if he isn’t front and centre, then you’re doing yourself a disservice.

The Aces and Eights are in the back sorting out their problems, with Bully handing all the Main Event Mafia problems to Anderson, and Bully will focus on getting the World Championship back from Sabin. Which is when Brooke makes an appearance telling Bully that next week’s Contract Signing will have some implications he won’t be happy with. And that a “Happy Wife is a Happy Life”

Brooke Hogan crazy face

Sums it up nicely?

Austin Aries vs. AJ Styles – BFG Series

A dream match, and it truly is, and was. Yes you can make all kinds of interesting matches out of these Wrestlers. But Aries vs. Styles is probably at the top. Though Aries vs. Kazarian I would love to see too.

They both had some hard hitting moments through-out the match, especially when Aries climbed the Top Rope and AJ Drop-Kicked him to the Floor. Though I did find the crowds “Come On, Beiber!” Chant to be rather amusing.

AJ attempted the Styles Clash on the Ramp which Aries countered into a Back-drop that sent AJ straight to the floor in a very painful looking manor. Aries then attempted his “Suicide Dive” through the Ropes to the Ring Steps like he did last week with Roode. But AJ Side stepped, sending Aries face first into the Steps.

Another match that will be a contender for Match of the Year, if it wasn’t for the ending.

AJ landed his Pelé on Aries which was a desperation move, and both of them falling to the floor, only Aries landed with his Arm on top of Styles, but he also moved Styles’ arm on top of himself. It looked really awkward as a finish. Either way apparently Aries got his Shoulder up just in time and took the Win. A dodgy finish to an otherwise Show Stealing match.

The Main Event Mafia make their way to the ring to close the show with an “Offer” to the Aces and Eights. Also:

Angle Shades 2

That never gets old. Though recent events might show that Angle isn’t in the best frame of mind of late, so it might explain his choice of Sun Glasses.

And come to think of it, maybe that explains what was going on a few weeks back?

Angle to Rehab

The Aces and Eights led by Anderson make their way to the ring to hear what the “Offer” is.

The Aces and Eights vs. The Main Event Mafia – 5 on 5 the one who gets Pinned / Submits must leave TNA for good. So this could be a way to get more Budget Cuts but tie it into a Story. Though time is against the Main Event Mafia for Angle is going to enter himself into Rehab. So either he is there now, or he could actually be the one to lose and “leave” TNA. Though for him to be entered into the Hall of Fame in a few months, the timing is all over the place.

Chances are a member of the Aces and Eights will lose, probably Garrett or Wes, or Knux… pretty much any of them aside from Anderson and Devon… but mainly Anderson. It’s an interesting idea, but it depends on who takes the fall, personally I want Rampage to turn on the Main Event Mafia, and probably take out Angle and Angle be the one to get pinned and disappear for a while.

Which is when the Lights go out in the Impact Zone, which is cool, so far so good right?

And then “MMA Legend” Tito Ortiz turns up.

So let’s put it this way, I know of the name, I don’t know who he is. But it appears that most people are not happy that he is in TNA. And this is my two-cents on the whole matter.

I get why TNA is doing this, having Stars from Celebrities to other Sporting Athletes is no strange carry on for Wrestling. From Mike Tyson to Mr. T to Arnold Schwarzenegger and Mickie Rourke, (David Arquette anyone?) there is a huge long list of “famous” people outside of the Sport to get involved. Spike TV runs Bellator MMA which is doing some big business for them, it follows Impact, so the mixing of both brands does business both ways and keeps Spike TV happy. UFC / MMA is the biggest Sport to have come out in the last few years, it’s reach is huge. It shares some Fans of both Sports and of course there is some huge cross over’s from the likes of Brock Lesnar to Dave Batista and even The Undertaker. So for TNA to bring in King Mo, Rampage Jackson (which did make headline main news) and now Tito Ortiz, I get that it sheds a bigger light on TNA. But here is the problem.

Most Hardcore MMA fans love the Sport because of what it is, and what it isn’t, is Wrestling. Sure they have Amateur Style Wrestling as part of the Mixed Martial Arts, but it’s not in the realm of Professional Wrestling, they are in no way the same thing. So a good portion of their Fan base and Audience don’t want to watch them try and be actors and do silly story lines and “pretend” fight. The bigger problem is just how Hardcore and Passionate the Wrestling fan base is, and it’s the true old school Wrestling fan base that is drawn to TNA, so you bring in guys who aren’t Wrestlers, and try and cash in on a bigger Audience, guess what… People Hate It!

To make matters worse you have just recently fired some top talent like a Doug Williams, Matt Morgan, Tara, Joey Ryan, Crimson and the list goes on and on, and you replace them with a higher paid Non Wrestler like Tito Ortiz…. guess what, People Hate It More!

TNA is what it is because it has the Very Best “Wrestling” Locker-Room in the industry. Now it doesn’t, because you dilute it with Celebrities and try and play it off as okay. I don’t care in the slightest about all of these MMA guys, let MMA be MMA, and don’t try and promote yourselves because of their success. This is the problem, TNA always, ALWAYS falls short, and it’s over dumb choices like this. If you debuted a Brand New Wrestler, who was impressive, that would have been awesome. If you had brought in a Talent people knew, that would have worked with the potential to be awesome. Even if you just brought back a Gut Check competitor, or even a recently fired employee, that would have worked. But instead you bring in this guy… you made a mockery of yourselves, and you ruined yet Another perfect opportunity to do something big and meaningful. All you did was appeal to a certain Audience, and it’s not your own Wrestling Audience, no you pissed them off.

So let’s get to what actually happened, Tito walked out with a Stupid expression on his face and stood there for the best part of 5 Minutes as the Camera cut back and forth from his Stupid Expression to the Wrestlers pretending to be “Shocked”. It Sucked… a lot.

However Anderson did save the day as they cut from Tito’s Stupid Expression to Anderson who was doing this:

Tito who

I think Anderson speaks for us all.

So a major Blunder yet again by TNA, and if TNA are going to be remembered by anything, it would be for the amount of times they themselves created fantastic opportunities, then shat all over them.

Aces and Eights

Gut Check

August 1

Sting (no one saved me)

AJ Styles

The list goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on.

One day.

Till then,


TNR Cover 12

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