Smack Talk Centre -Raw – Monday Night Raw #1056: August 19 2013

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What a week in wrestling!!!! HOLY SH!T! Darren Young admits his sexual orientation, Brooke Hogan gets shown the door by TNA, Ric Flair turns up at the WWE2K14 symposium drunk and telling true hollywood stories, and finally Summerslam… Kane gets destroyed and abducted by the Wyatt massive, CM Punk & Brock Lesnar put on a possible contender for match of the year, Natalya wins a match, and is there a reconciliation with Randall & Triple TEEEEEF, and even Vincent Kennedy???

I SEE THE LINE IN THE SAND…. TIME TO FIND OUT…WHO I AM!!! RAW #1056! HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZIn the words of birthday boy Nate Dogg, OH NO!!! The crowd is ruthless! John Cena just announced he’s gotta leave the game for about 4-6 months… hear the crowd – YES! YES! YES! They can’t say that!!!! That’s not the issue though, Daniel Bryan climbed the top of the mountain, only for Triple TEEF to say – BEAT HIM BACK DOWN!!!

Damn you looking fine Stephanie! But hold on – Danielson got the killer line of the night already – “When you sleep with TRASH, you start to STINK!” Steph is trying to deflect these shots as best she can! She is a boxer after all! But eventually Danielson will break those defences…. Steph rates him at a B+, but Danielson wants to call her the B-word!!!! Rewind back to 1997- 2008 and you can call her that and get away with it! unfortunately his lack of emotional content has him thrown out the joint…. Ok Bryan… LET’S GET DIRTY! And I don’t mean Christina Aguilera!!!

I CAN’T GET IN DA CLUB!!!

Blodclart I missed the Sandow Vs Cody Rhodes match due to the live stream f**k!n up… no matter I saw it on Summerslam anyway… if it was a divas match I missed I would be real mad and Ziggler would be real DEAD!!!! JOKE ME A RUN! Everyone knows by now I can’t stand the f***a!

And so the ‘Unleashed’ storyline continues! Heyman is prepared to take CM Punk back because Brock mash him up at Summerslam!! You know when Heyman is on the mic he spits fire…. my stream is really on her premenstrual cycle – damn I missed the rest of that segment! And I ain’t checking on WWE.com unless I really have to… I haven’t got that sort of time right now!

From this point on the resource comes from WWE.com as the live stream failed completely.

Will CM Punk retrieve the leash and put back round his neck???? I can’t see it happening as long as Randall and Bertie are the main champions…

This is the match that put me over the edge… the stream f**ked up, so did the internet for that matter and I find outGRANT - BODY - P that not only my baby mother Layla was on, but AJ, and the Funkadactyls are on in tag team action! 4 of my favourite ladies – this breaks my heart…. they should never fight! What happened to unity in black women? What happened Queen Latifah???

Not only did I miss the lovely ladies, I missed The Shield brukk up Ziggler???? NOOOOOOOOOO!!! WHHYYYYYYYYYYYY!!! What did I do to deserve this? You see that is TRUE JUSTICE! You know why? Because Darren Young confessed about being gay and is comfortable about it, which is good… personally I’m not a fan of homosexuals, but I respect his honesty and integrity, unlike Ziggler who is LYING to his fans and leading them in the wrong direction… that’s why The Shield mash him up!!!

I feel like celebrating like Danielson right now! The Shield, triple powerbomb Ziggler into the canvas – BLAOW!!!! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Talk sh!t now Ziggler fans!!!! Ok I admit! I paid The Shield handsomely to f**k up Ziggler! LIFE IS GOOD!!!

Oh dear Sin Cara f**ked up his hand or his wrist in his contest with Bertie, you know why that happened? Because you didn’t have your special lights on!!!! I feel sorry for this kid you know why? He doesn’t seem to get a break, no storylines, he’s just thrown out there. No real feud, nuthin… the IWC gives him a hard time… the kids can’t connect with him like they do Rey… yeah that’s right play the violin behind him…

I don’t blame Bertie for reppin for the Latino community… he makes me so proud! Fat Joe, Jennifer Lopez, Eva Longoria, Roselyn Sanchez and especially Big Pun would be proud of him! But what happened to your eye Bertie??? “Oh it’s cool…”

Bertie likes kicking people in their head, so Ricardo went and found a new cat he can rep for… ROB VAN DAM!!! Apart from the All Japan Pro Wrestling joint, have you ever seen anyone use martial arts better than RVD??? (Insert indy wrestler name here) that should be a great contest come Night of Champions! WWE make it happen Bertie Vs RVD!

I thought it would be a matter of time before that racist Zeb would target my black people… COME ON PRIMETIME PLAYERS!!! IT’S ALL ABOUT THIS BLACK FIST! SHOW THE FAKE AMERICANS ALL ABOUT HIGHER LEARNING!

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! Now that Darren Young has had his moment of clarity, thus turning the PTP good, the question remains – what does AW think about all this??? I still say Bring Back AW!!! The sh!t he was talking last year, I think would be appropriate now that the storylines have become edgier!

Oh dear one man ain’t happy about Triple Teef – that’s the 7ft2, 500lbs Big Show… he actually said what happened at Summerslam was straight GARBAGE!!! And he’s liable to punch Triple in his mouth!!!! realising that the Sean Price of WWE is out to punch him thru school buses, Triple sends the Shield to brukk up Big Show…the Hounds of Justice can do what they wanna do… that won’t stop Show I can tell you that!

Have you ever wondered what happens when a moaning, whining IWC keyboard warrior finally takes his fat @$$ off the internet, leaves his house and attends a WWE live show, then proceeds to boo CM Punk??? Sorry Danielson, CM Punk just took the quote of the night!!! Instead of me spelling it out, just press play…

SHUT THE F**K UP – PUT A SOCK IN IT PA, BE QUIET!!!

Well Heyman wanted an apology from Punk! And he sure as hell got it! Punk says he’s sorry he didn’t get to f**k him up! So what does Heyman do? He sends the weakling Curtis Axel after Punk… you know Wolverine ain’t leaving!!! Claws sheaved, LET’S GO!!!

BRING THE MUTHAF***!N RUCKUS!!

Hear Heyman as Axel sets up the steel chair on CM Punk’s leg… “BREAK HIS LEGS!!!” See this is where we need JR… where is the over exaggeration? Where is the passion? Thankfully Wolverine’s healing powers enabled him to get out the way of the impact of Axel’s stomp, and the tables are turned! CM Punk beating down the pu$$ybwoy with the chair! Then picks up Axel, GTS on the steel steps – BLAOW!!!! GAME OVER! So much for your new Heyman Guy! Axel is WACK! His father must have turned his back in his grave give his son!

DAMN YOU WYATT!!! What have you done to Kane!!! DAMN YOU!!!! Leave R-Truth alone!!! I have right on my side… you got all the STC fools following you like sheep… not me!!! If you feel like an enemy… COME AFTER ME!!!!

Can you believe that while the sensible people are chanting for the Usos some dickheads are cheering for 3MB??? If you are one of those people… DON’T CHAT TO ME. You clearly have no sense, and you are probably like that same fatso that booed CM Punk, and then run him down at the airport to get autograph so you can sell that sh!t on ebay… maybe that’s what it is! CM Punk recognized that fat fool!!!! It all comes together now!

I was yawning through that Wade Barrett Vs Miz rubbish… thank god Fandango came down and shut that match down! If it means Summer Rae shaking her sexy legs then I’m all for it!!

“WHAT A MOMENTUS OCCASION!!!” And in the end, Triple saw the light!!! HAHA!!! Ok did Triple Teef snatch the quote of the night? “The coal has now become the diamond…” referring to Randall… was that cryptic to the video I put up at the top of the page??? Look at Vincent Kennedy!!! HIS SUIT DOESN’T MATCH!!! That’s the Vincent Kennedy I like – when his suit don’t match! Now, are we witnessing a new corporation here? Danielson tries to rush the ring, but The Shield beat him down as if to say – where ya go bwoy??!!! But Triple tells them to stop… and invites Danielson into the ring… WRONG ANSWER – RKO – BLAOW!!!!

THE GRANT HAS TWO THINGS TO SAY AND HE SAYS THIS: One, you mean to tell me that after all that, Randall kicked Vincent Kennedy in his head, kicked Shane in his head, kissed up Stephanie in front of Triple, and felt her breast, Triple now supports Randall??? All for the sake of business??? And two, why didn’t the entire locker room rush the ring???? Especially the Big Show?? Quick to talk sh!t backstage but can’t use his Sean Price punch???

…and all because he didn’t get in the chair…

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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