Monday Night Raw #1061: September 23, 2013!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

Monday Night Raw #1061: September 23, 2013!!!

Seeing as Raw is in Chicago this week, this blog needs NO INTRODUCTION. Yo Common! Drop that tune rude boy!!!

Welcome to another dose of the Hip Hop reppin, Doo rag loose wearing, Supermalt swelling, fried chicken eating, diva loving, wrestling fan hating, INFAMOUS INFORMER!!! RAW #1061, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

SOURCE: WWE.Com

First things first, address Stephanie…. OOHHHHHHH!!! Girl why you gotta wear them boots!!!! You sure you don’t wanna cast in Total Divas season 2? Think of the ratings! I wasn’t even listening to Triple, I just saw Stephanie in them boots! you know what that does to a man???

Ok record skip – did Stephanie just ask R-Truth why he shouldn’t be the face of the WWE??? Er Steph, according to your father’s criteria, being black does not qualify to be the face of the WWE! And as for Zack Ryder, the criteria states that you gotta love the ladies, Ryder calls them ‘hoeskis’! I wouldn’t want him as the face of the WWE I can tell you that RIGHT NOW!

Just like Facebook, I like this…. because Triple has given the rebels an opportunity to fight The Shield Elimination handicap match… Yes there are 10 rebels, and 3 of The Shield… and The Shield are looking at Triple as if to say…. HOLD UP???? You expect us to fight all of them??? W’happen – you gone mad????

Great contest between Kofi Kingston and Bertie, but I’ve come to a conclusion about the Mexican Aristocrat, don’t like him on Raw, love him on Smackdown. You know why? He has Lillian Garcia announcing his name in Spanish…. just like Stephanie’s boots, that makes me think wild things…. I really think Bertie should hire Lillian as his new personal ring announcer… IT WOULD BE GREAT!

Come on Cole and JBL – put some heart into your commentating what’s wrong with ya? What must JR be thinking now he’s being fired? I bet he’s shaking his head right now… Wyatts Vs PTP, you should be enthusiastic!

Now I heard about the WWE2K14 full roster reveal, and it looks like you guys are gonna have to create the Wyatt Family yourselves… I know your upset, but make like a pack a cards and DEAL WITH IT! HAHA! About – ‘follow buzzard…’ why should I follow buzzard when I can pre-order the Phenom edition of the game??? Can’t get better than that!

I think The Miz hit the nail on the head here with The Big Show… he’s the locker room leader that everyone looks up to now. He’s been doing this from before Cena come out of nappies so stick that inna yuh pipe and smoke it kiddies and 30-year-old Cena Virgins! If Triple TEEF and Steph can manipulate Show, they can pretty much manipulate anybody… big ups to wrestling historian Roy Warren Lucier of the International Wrestling Fanbase for exposing Steph – (No – not in way we liked unfortunately!) for having no skillz in her promos! Check it!!!WWE No skills

Well it’s better than freestyling off your iPhone, isn’t it Drake???

I suppose calling Stephanie the PG version of the word b!tch is the equivalent of calling Candyman’s name in the mirror 5 times! You’ve done it now Miz!

Big Show – you know what to do… Sean P this muthaf***a through school buses!!!!

………………PPPPPPPPPPP!!!

…and he did it without hesitation!!! WHOA!!! Maybe Big show will get paid bonus for that now! He’s like Balrog in Super Street Fighter IV when he cries…. MY FIGHT MONEY!!!

 

Look at Steph fixing The Miz’s jacket as he entered twilight zone! WHAT A WOMAN!!!! She like her men to dress smart!!! HA! HA!

Well according to the WWE Universe (which is not us by the way) RVD gets the shot to fight Randall, no thanks to Stephanie who emphasised his name when she told the fans to vote for either Dolph Ziggler, Kofi Kingston or RRRRROB, VANNNN, DAMMMMM!

Did you hear the voices in Randall’s head??? I did! They talked to him, and they said – “KILL ROB VAN DAM… KILL HIM!!! DDT HIS HEAD FROM TOP ROPES!!!” Did you hear the evil laugh that Randall did just before he did it? “HA HA HA HA” – DDT FROM TOP ROPES – BLAOWWWWW!!!!!

OH LAWWWD – Is it me or has Summer Rae got no draws on??? Look pon her outfit!!!! How can Fandango be professional when he’s gotta dance with her every week? I’m sorry, I’d be tryna get in that pu$$y backstage if I was him! Unless she has a man of course, then that is d!ck teasing for him NEXT LEVEL!

Before I go into the next segment, whoever hit the play button to Bret/Natalya Hart’s music while CM Punk was fighting Curtis Axel & Ryback is gonna join Cody Rhodes at the job centre surely!

Just as Heyman’s Over 50′s scooter mashed up on him, CM Punk was like yeah – YUH GOOSE COOK NOW!!! But Axel & Ryback was like camouflage ninjas and ambushed Punk one time! The Wolverine, claws and all, fighting off his adversaries and then Ryback grab, him gorilla press right into a table – BLAOWWWWW!

I suggest you press play on that vid before YouTube take it down…

Now apparently Punk Midas cussed bad words… well wouldn’t you if you was thrown like that??? And some idiot said ‘The Attitude Era is back’…. YES you Internet wrestling b!tches… if you fit this criteria, I HATE YOU!!!

INTERNET WRESTLING FANS

Now the match is set at the next PPV, Battlegound, CM Punk will face Ryback… I heard you b!tch @$$ fans complaining about this match up already… do me a favor – SHUT THE F**K UP!

How are WWE.com not gonna show me footage and pics of the 10 diva tag match??? What sort ofGRANT - BODY - P sh!t is that??? You don’t appreciate  A Woman’s Worth either??? DISRESPECT!!! What I know is, Natalya, The Bellas, and my favourite Nubians defeated AJ Lee, Alicia Fox, Aksana, my baby mother Layla and my mistress Tamina… Yo Layla! Tamina! You reppin for the wrong team!

It’s ok I found some interesting diva footage… let’s get into it…

Now the moment you b!tch @$$ wrestling fans dreaded, getting the Bellas involved in the main storyline… Randall approached Brie and told her what a real man should look like… seems like Randall wants a piece of Brie haha! Watch out girl… He’s RKO’d Stacy Kiebler in the past! He dropped Stephanie with the DDT a few years back! You don’t want a woman beater now… do you??? Oh I have a bad feeling about this!!! he’s got voice in ah him head side and they chat to him!! MI SEH DEM CHAT TO HIM!!!

“Branded… scorned is the one who raaaan
What do you do when your branded? And you know you’re a man!
Wherever you go, for the rest of your life
You must proooooove, you’re a man!!!”

Yes I’m referring to the Danielson segment…yes Danielson was branded – a TEEF, by whom you ask? TRIPLE TEEF!!! Was Danielson and Ref Scott Armstrong in this together with the fast count? Maybe, maybe not… was Armstrong paid off handsomely by Triple? Maybe, maybe not! The rematch is set for the next PPV, but can we get a stipulation in that b!tch? And did Danielson just say that Randall hides behind the bosses’ skirts??? Was he in effect calling Stephanie a b!tch? or was it Triple? or was it even Vincent Kennedy???? Answers on a postcard please!

Side note – Welcome back Kaitlyn! Didn’t notice that your fine self even left! Yo work on your interview skills!!! That is all!

As we enter the main event: AMPLIFIED SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH – LET’S GO!!!

You mean to tell me that Dean Ambrose has been eliminating members of the rebellion with that same super move and we STILL don’t know what it’s called?? And he’s an US Champion??? WWE FIX UP MAN!!!

Yes do not adjust your sets, your WWE app, or your live stream, Zack Ryder is in the main event! Watch him! He’s going for the WOO WOO BOOT!

WOO! WOO! WOO – SPEAR BY ROMAN REIGNS – BLAOWWWWW!!! GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE ZACK RYDER YOU WOMAN HATING BATTYBWOY!

Even though Ziggler is fighting on the side of right, I still don’t rate him… but I have to big him up because The Shield tried to teef by interfering in the match even though they were already eliminated except for Seth Rollins… Ziggler and the Usos made sure that wasn’t happening! FEED SETH TO THE LIONS!

So what’s that new super move you got now Danielson? the YES KNEE???!!! Is it in the new game? Because if not, you know us gamers will look for a super move similar!

But the big story here is the element of surprise that you internet wrestling b!tches never saw coming… and I’ll tell you now, if you come with your foolishness on either Smack Talk Centre or Powerbomb Pro Wrestling News, I’m sending for the Wu-Tang Sword and chopping your snake tongue off lyrically!

That’s gotta be a contender for best Raw moment of the year at the slammys surely! Cody Rhodes & Goldust, attacking The Shield before they went out to compete! That was wild yo!!!! Ok early prediction for the next PPV Battleground – The Shield Vs Usos for the tag titles – Love both teams – but the Usos will win the tag titles due to interference by the Rhodes Brothers! Next day on Raw – Triple TEEF strips the Usos of the tag titles and may hold them either vacant or give back to the Shield… I’ll make final judgment before the PPV jumps off next Sunday!

Go on, I DARE YA Wrestling b!tches… TALK SH!T NOW! LET ME DRAW MY WU-TANG SWORD OUT MY LEATHER COAT I BEG YA!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR POWERBOMB PRO WRESTLING NEWS.

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