Monday Night Raw #1064: October 14, 2013!!!
Now that the Big Show is unemployed (or is he? I’m about to find out) Triple & Steph say that he is unemployable… well The Grant says that is not true! He could actually be the security for the job centre in the UK! Admittedly this would not benefit so-called job seekers that are scamming the system and if they try to get in the face of authority, they only need to say one thing: “BIG SHOW – KNOCK HIM OUT!!!” ……PPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! Can you imagine the danger money Big Show would be paid? The other option, he was unfairly dismissed after all… take Triple and Steph to the employment tribunal! Sh!t if The Infamous Informer has done it once in his career (and won, I might add) Big Show can do it too!
Now there are petitions to bring Big Show back… how come there wasn’t one of these when AW got fired last year? Suddenly y’all care about the Big Show????
Racial man, racial!!! Enough of that sh!t!!! RAW #1064! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!
OH SNAP! This week’s Raw is from the same building that the very first Hell in a Cell match took place! And who won that epic war? HBShizzle!!!! Well barely… Undertaker f**ked him up BIG TIME in that match! Damn what did HBShizzle do to make Undertaker so mad back in the day??!!! Y’all already know!
St. Louis is also the hometown of the evil one himself, Randall Orton! Let me guess, he’s gonna warn HBShizzle to call the match right otherwise he’s gonna get kicked in his head??? Hold up – Randall can’t disrespect his own people can he???? ‘not bright’? Is he essentially calling them Jeremy Kyle Jabronies???
HBShizzle where are your manners???? Listen to Randall when he’s talking sh!t!!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!
Randall, I know you’re a legend killer and all that, but I gotta ask you – how are YOU gonna try to intimidate HBShizzle? This is the guy that was the referee in the Triple Vs Undertaker match at WrestleMania XXVIII – he ain’t sweating you I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT!
Oh SNAP!!! Randall had a match with The Miz scheduled, but The Miz thought – f**k that – I ain’t waiting for my crappy music to hit, I’m gonna rush Randall and f**k him up after he tried to f**k me up a few weeks ago!
Sorry Miz it ain’t the evil Randall you gotta worry about – it’s the more sinister Wyatt Family you gotta think about! they didn’t even say ‘We’re Here’… they just appeared, you looked as if to say – WTF? then Ranadall with an RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!
WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!!! Wait a minute, Brad Maddox – How are you gonna put out a tag team championship match between the Shield and The Rhodes fam when the Usos are officially #1 contenders???? Shout out to Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR Network for pointing that sh!t out too…. RACIAL MAN, RACIAL!!!
Don’t you just love when people fix each other’s ties and jackets etc on WWE?!!!! That’s what Paul Heyman be doing to Brad Maddox to sway him to add a bit of seasoning to the rematch at the Hell In a Cell PPV between CM Punk and Dryback… and rightfully so!
Maybe Maddox has added too much seasoning! Get this – there’s that good ol’ game WWE likes to play, it’s called Beat The Clock. If Ryback defeats R-Truth quicker than CM Punk defeats Curtis Axel, Paul Heyman chooses the stipulation. Conversely, if it is the other way round, Punk Midas chooses the stipulation…. LET THE GAMES BEGIN!
As much as the Infamous Informer loves JBL, he has to sword swing at him lyrically: YO JBL?
How are YOU gonna disrespect Xavier Woods??? The man put out a petition to get Big Show back in effect, WWE stars have signed it such as The Bella Twins, The Miz and even John Cena, you sitting there talking about – what sort of name is Xavier, – That is the same name as the boss man in the X-Men Marvel comics you big dummy! Furthermore, this dude wields two degrees, a masters and soon to be a PhD, and you are gonna sit there and diss him? My bredrin named his son Xavier, and can make beats and the age of 2!!!! Do you want me to send Undertaker after you again? It can be arranged you borderline racist pig!!!!
Yes the Infamous Informer will cuss his own favourite stars if he has to! Only The Undertaker and The Rock are exempt from the rule!
Lawd have mercy Los Matadores Vs 3MB again???? F**K THIS SH!T!!!!
WTF did I just hear? That little Torito dude has a twitter account? You can follow him if you want but not the Infamous Informer!!!
…and the win streak continues for Los Matadores! I’m not impressed – they have only defeated 3MB like 1064 times!!!! (See what I did there???)
UH OH!!!!! Here comes Triple TEEF!!! How’s your jawbone rude boy? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Hear the crowd! “YOU GOT KNOCKED OUT!!!” You know what they wanted to say really!!!
I’m sorry Stephanie I’m still laughing!! Carry on what you were saying! Look at Triple TEEF’s face! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
They helped out with Big Show’s mortgage damnit! Big Show treats them with DISRESPECT and INSOBOARDINATION and YOU CHEER????!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
…and you internet wrestling d!ckheads say Stephanie can’t cut a promo… she said it – Triple ruled the Attitude era with an iron fist – don’t you mean an IRON HAMMER????
You can’t chant “What?” when Triple is talking???? THAT’S RUDE!!!!! He is the World Wrestling Federation DAMNIT!!!
Oh, it’s not the ‘What?’ chant that he doesn’t like… it’s the ‘YES!’ chant!!! Why you getting angry for Triple? You’re the one that’s TEEF!!!!!
So you mean to tell me that all that time Triple Teef wasn’t the bad guy??? Now he’s gonna go full-scale TEEF???? Oh dear we have done it now!!!!
Here comes the creator of the YES chant!!!! I assume he’s the one that’s gonna go through the most hell!!! Austin Vs McMahon ain’t gonna be sh!t now! This could bring it all back to TV-14!!!! (Ha look at you getting excited….you fool go sidung!)
Capacity crowd chanting YES! with their new hero! Look at Triple & Steph’s face! They look like steam is coming out of their ears!!!! WROOOOOOY!!!
Wait a minute! BERTIE! Why did he assault Danielson for no reason??? Oh SEEN! He’s his opponent? Ok let’s get it on!!! HAHA TRIPLE TEEF chanting YES!!! Oh no this is great!!!
You gotta love R-Truth for this! Knowing full well it’s a Beat The Clock challenge, he’s deliberately ramping about and greeting the fans, at the same time making Dryback mad! Haha R-Truth trickify!
Now the crowd are chanting for JBL and Jerry Lawler! All they be doing is running joke on commentary! It’s only a matter of time before we hear ‘Michael Cole’!!! Go on fans you know you want to!
So now all CM Punk has gotta do is whupp Axel’s @$$ in 5:44 or less….well if he’s the ‘Best In Ah De Wurl’ I’m sure he can do it!
It’s better to give than to receive… so Stephanie decides to give Brie Bella an engagement present: a match against Tamina! YES! YES! YES! Stephanie is so kind!!! Now THAT is BEST FOR BUSINESS!
You know I look on how stunning my favourite Nubians – The Funkadactyls are and I think to myself… I so wished they were in the TV-14 era…. sure they would lose a bra & panties match but imagine that…. GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!!!!
I knew those muthaf***!n Real Americans would start on Los Matadores… the new tag team that the fans love and these muthaf***az wanna start on em… I hope they use their bullfighting skills that Vega taught them, use the knife they kill the bulls with and kill this Zeb Coulter muthaf***a! And the only reason the crowd are chanting ‘We The People’ is because of Antonio Cesaro!
All of a sudden Xavier Woods petition has been taken down from WWE.com? It’s because he’s black ain’t it?!!! Not to worry, the petition has been shared on social media and has gone viral – YOU CAN’T STOP US NOW!
SILENCE!!! Tamina Snuka is on… Go girl! DESTROY THAT BELLA WOMAN!!! I love Tamina’s new ring attire! Official bad gyal!!! I love my chick!
I actually like JBL’s defence here, Mike Cole’s like… why is AJ Lee allowed to be at ringside but Nikki Bella isn’t? JBL has the answer one time – Because the Bellas are TEEF – they use Twin magic – they swap places and the ref doesn’t see it and that’s how they win! VERY GOOD JBL! I will cuss if I have to but will compliment you if I have to! Like what Gordon Ramsay does in Hell’s Kitchen if you will!
YES! YES! YES! My girl Tamina mash-up Brie!!!! That’s what’s up! Now while Tamina drops the superfly move on Brie, allow me to put you on to this exclusive Facebook group run by my ninjas Jazz Kumar and Brent Armstrong, they recognize a Woman’s Worth, and they want to pay homage to Eva Marie, one of the newest divas on WWE and she has only had two wrestling matches, and based on her wrestling talent, she should be in the Hall Of Fame NEXT YEAR! YES! Above the likes of Randy Savage! The Ultimate Warrior! Even the Undertaker!!! Click on the pic below and be apart of it!!! HAHA!
OH SNAP!!!! CM Punk beat the clock! He had 12 seconds to spare! He could jump on top ropes and drop the Randy Savage elbow on Axel in that time for good measure! What’s the stipulation gonna be??? I say CM Punk Vs Heyman… neither Axel or Ryback can interfere and teef! Let’s hear it from Mr Midas…
Looks like the handicap match is running!!! That’s gotta please Heyman because that’s what he wanted yes??? Well er… no because it’s CM Punk Vs Ryback AND Paul Heyman inside HELL IN A CELL! Now that’s what I like to see! Paul Heyman sh!tting himself at the news!!!! Then these images follow…
Great wrestling contest between Bertie and Danielson even though it was a match set up out of spite by Triple Teef and Steph… but what’s Randall doing up on the titantron? I gotta bad feeling about this…
Good on Randall, he’s going to check on Brie, after all, she did get hurt by Tamina and AJ earlier…. he’s such a nice man isn’t he…..???? HE’S GONNA PUT IT IN!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Rather, it was just a trap and Danielson walked right into it… Brie was unharmed… Danielson walks right in the training room and Randall drops the ambush! Then he gives Brie one look as if to say this: “What’s your man gotta do with me? I ain’t tryna hear that see!!!” (Shout out to Positive K!)
So now the tag team championship match is No DQ???? Straight up The Shield’s alley! But to see Steph wrap her lips around Triple afterwards… GOD DAYUM!!! Anyone would think Triple might just tear her @$$ up in that room backstage! Well wouldn’t you????!!! I WOULD!!!!
Big ups to Michael Cole – he points out that the Usos are the TRUE #1 contenders to the tag team titles… so with that documented, Brad Maddox: YOU’RRRRREEE FIRRRRRRED!!!! Well at least that’s what I would do if I was the boss man, it would be BEST FOR BUSINESS!
Big ups to STC’s Negrodamus: The Shadfather – he did say that The Rhodes Vs The Shield at Battleground might as well have been the main event…now it’s the main event on Raw!
Hey TEEF – Dean Ambrose caught Cody’s leg to help his boys! (but it’s no DQ…oh snap!!!)
I was wondering when Dean Ambrose was really gonna get involved… it’s NO DQ – Triple put this on this ring for me and you! Take advantage man… take advantage!
Catch Goldust chair swinging! It’s all legal!!!! There’s no Dusty Rhodes this time! That’s the equalizer right there! I’m glad this wrestling match turned into an all-out ruckus! That’s what this is about rude boy!
This is why Roman Reigns is my favourite out of the Shield – Goldust getting speared through the barricade – BLAOW!!!!
HOLY SH!T!!!! THE BIG SHOW!!!! HOW THE RARSE DID HE GET IN THE ARENA! HE JUST PUNCHED THE SHIELD THROUGH SCHOOLBUSES!!!! PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!
Cody Rhodes & Goldust – NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!!!! BACKSIDE!!!! Did you see that Triple Teef? He was VEXXXXXXXXXXX!!!!! The crowd chanting YES! with the Big Show!
THE GRANT SAYS THIS: Even though it was a NO DQ match, don’t be surprised if Triple TEEF strips the Rhodes family of the tag team gold and gives it back to The Shield…. that could happen as early as Smackdown!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR POWERBOMB PRO WRESTLING NEWS.