Monday Night Raw #1065: October 21, 2013!!!
Peace y’all! before I run joke with y’all on this week’s Raw I wanna give a few shout outs real quick: The first, my dude STC member Jazz Kumar – he hooked me up with the UFC 166 because I wasn’t able to watch it live… I caught the Gilbert Melendez Vs Diego Sánchez fight, BUMBACLAAAAAT!!!! Just when I thought the Jon Jones Vs Alexander Gustafsson fight was incredible at UFC 165… if you’re a UFC/MMA fan and haven’t caught up yet, you need to see that sh!t!!! I wanna big up my dude James Henson of the STC, we gotta strong connection in hip hop and he’s the new admin at RePPiN4U so big ups to him putting in work, most appreciated! And of course big up Cage Amateurs UK for interviewing me, now you know I’m not just a joker who appears not to take this wrestling sh!t seriously – believe me I DO! Just that I am a fan FIRST, and I enjoy it for its entertainment value. some of y’all take too serious then you end up miserable then I end up disliking you!!!
With all that said, let’s get into it… RAW #1065! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!!
I have a question, since Triple’s entrance theme is ‘Bow Down to the King’, knowing that my ancestors were Kings before they were enslaved, doesn’t that mean Triple TEEF (and especially Stephanie – OH YEAH!) has gotta bow down to ME???!!!!
Shout out to The Big Show who punched Brad Maddox thru school buses on SmackDown last Friday!!! That was almost as great as him boxing down Triple!
Stephanie was right on point with her first line: “Oh you’re just jealous…” Damn right I’m jealous! I wished it was me ravishing your fine @$$! Triple remind me to interview you!!!!
WHAT DE RARSE!!! BIG SHOW DEP PON DE TELLY!!!!!! This dude was fired – how him get pon de telly??? He must have used The Rock’s via satellite resources!!!!
Now this is some funny sh!t – Stephanie wants the cameramen to lock off the satellite connection but Triple is addressing Big Show about ‘Respect’!!! I’m just waiting for the static and this picture to come up…
Oh snap!!! Now I get it! The Big Show is suing for slander and unfair dismissal! He took my advice!!! Very smart on the part of Big Show – it’s not Vincent Kennedy he’s suing! He would lose for sure! This is one for Judge Judith Shendlin!
THE CASES ARE REAL! THE PEOPLE ARE REAL! THE RULINGS ARE FINAL!!!!
Oh sh!t! I believe Big Show can win! That’s why he told Stephanie to put a sock in ut pa, BE QUIET!
Stephanie knows she’s losing this argument already! So what does she do? LOCK OFF HIS BLODCLART! I’m enjoying this already! This is GREAT! Th-th-th-tha-THAT’S ALL FOLKS!
So on with the show! Introducing, Dean Ambrose!!!! Record skip – Daniel Bryan???? A WHA DE??? Yes chants all over the arena! You know the authority doesn’t like that sh!t!!!
Now the announcers suspect Big Show has insiders hooking him up! I mentioned this on the BDSIR network, It is far-fetched I cannot lie but I’m convinced this man has something to do with it considering his past friendship with Big Show…
Just throwing it out there… I’d laugh my @$$ off if I was right! Then you will know the true power of the Hip Hop reppin, rice & peas & chicken eatin, supermalt drinkin, diva loving Infamous Informer!
Look at Daniel Bryan’s unique submission fighting skill! Not many can match him! But superb display of counter-technique and psychology by Ambrose: Hear him talk to Danielson – “Are you alright? What was that? You wanna keep going???” The ref is supposed to say that sh!t!!!!
What the f**k is JBL talking about? We have yet to see the greatest hell in a cell match of all time???? What are you on crack music??? Unless this year’s participants climb on top of that muthaf***a and fight (which they won’t…) stop your noise and get back to sniffing that white powder sh!t!
Hold up – Danielson using the Kip-up move now? I think HBShizzle been teaching the kid some more moves! Yes kicks to the chest, counter-technique into the Yes-Lock – TAP OUT! Great contest! You probably won’t hear me talk about a wrestling match in that much detail again!
See I like the fact CM Punk has the idea of what Hell in A Cell is about… it’s about ruckus, it’s about being sadistic, it’s about putting your opponent through hell… f**k all this arm-lock and fireman’s carry sh!t – f**k all that technical sh!t!!! We don’t do that over here! 3 men enter, (CM Punk, Ryback, Paul Heyman,) one man leaves – that’s the BEST INNA DE WURL!!! Something that Heyman has called himself lately… I’m saying hmmmmmm…!
WTF is this? Santino, Hornswoggle and the Not so Great Khali dressing up as Elvis? GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE! I’m off to check my Facebook and twitter I’ll be back right after these messages and after I pay these bills
(how about an advertisement while you’re waiting???)
Welcome back! Welcome back!!! And I hope you are still joining in at home!!! (Shout out to Sir Bruce Forsyth!) Dolph Ziggler Vs Randall Orton, LETS GO!
Straight away I’m backing Randall, let the voices in your head talk to you!!!
Michael Cole – DO YOUR RESEARCH AND JOURNALISM YOU FOOL! Yes Randall has been in four Hell in A Cell matches… but he hasn’t been successful in all of them! The first match he had against the Undertaker, who won that match???? Who got BUSS ARSE in that muthaf***a??? That’s right, the TRUE MASTER of the Hell In the Cell… so SHUDDUP!
Let’s have a look at some Twitter amusements, shall we?
THE GRANT SAYS: Well if they make you become an @$$hole like Triple TEEF or a dutty bwoy like Vincent Kennedy, I suggest you stay away from Debenhams! To me personally Power Underwear is on some Victoria Secret sh!t… observe…
YES!!! Now that is powerful!!!!!! (Shout out to STC members Edmund Mulhall & Lee Steadx….. DUTTY BWOY!!!)
Doctor has informed me that my post-concussion symptoms are too severe to attend tonight’s
#raw. Try and enjoy it without me
THE GRANT SAYS: WE ARE ENJOYING IT WITHOUT YOUR DUMB @$$, NOW SHUDDUP AND BE STILL!
Oh snap! Did you see that awkward landing Ziggler took from that belly to belly suplex? YES! The voices are talking to him! YES! RKO in mid-air – BLAOW!!!! How do you like that Ziggler fanboys??? SHUDDUP! Go and watch X-Factor with your boyfriend! WHAT??!!!!
What? AJ Lee Vs Brie Bella for the WWE divas title AGAIN??? No stipulations???? WWE Y’all gotta fix up on the ladies stipulations man!
They’re fighting the Bella Twins in tag team action? Tamina, break Nikki’s legs again!!!! DO IT!!!! (Nikki you gotta sexy body just that you’re dealing with the Baddest b!tch here, and Tamina- I love my b!tch!!!)
Why the f**k was Dolph Ziggler the #1 trend on twitter at the time? What the f**k did he do apart from getting buss arse? Maybe that’s why he was trending!
Don’t you think Tamina’s leather attire kinda makes her look like the female member of The Shield??? Yeah ok we want NO fourth member! I agree as well…just that Tamina looks so bad@$$!
Was it me or was Brie trying to get the crowd to chant for Nikki Bella??? Look Brie I know it’s your sister… but the crowd was like…
Brie’s second win in a row over the Divas Champion has sealed her fate for the Hell In A Cell PPV… That’s all I gotta say about that!
What? The Usos must face The Shield for #1 Contenders match for the WWE Tag Team titles? What sort of sh!t is that? The Usos are ALREADY #1 contenders, The Shield get a rematch clause anyway, so why is this necessary? Just Triple Threat that muthaf***a!
Look at Paul Heyman as he looks at Renée Young!!! Yeah I know Heyman! Gotta check out the goods!!! Renée Young is finer than a muthaf***a! I’d wipe the dust off that pu$$ay!!! WROOOOOOY WHAT A PROMO BY HEYMAN!!!! That man is hype for the Hell In A Cell! YES! This ain’t no wrestling match… this is a straight up ruckus!
Was it me or was the tone in Ryback and Curtis Axel’s voice sounded borderline racist when they called Big E Langston a rookie?? It sounded like they really wanted to say ‘n!**£r!’ Yes ladies and gentlemen, Big E Langston turned good last week on SmackDown when Paul Heyman referred to Langston as a ‘rookie’…. yeah that’s why Langston is DLC on WWE2K14 and you’re not Curtis Axel you DYAM ARSE!!!! DROP THE BOMB ON EM!
Great video package of the mentor/student connection between Shawn Michaels & Daniel Bryan… better than those tired @$$ packages of Cena’s ‘comeback’…. Oh SNAP…. THEY’RE HERE???!!! Oh Sh!t it’s the Wyatt Fam!!!
Wait a minute I saw this tag team match between the Rowan/Harper and Miz/Kingston! URGH…. I’ll be back after the break…………………………………………………………………………………
…and The Infamous Informer is back (I had the John Witherspoon guts…I’ll leave that to you to figure out!) and if this match (Bray Wyatt Vs The Miz) is official I have a prediction for it – but you guys at Smack Talk Centre/Powerbomb Pro Wrestling News and my new friends over at WrestleTown will have to wait til I’m on video for that one!
Now that Big E Langston is a face, he needs some good music… and quite frankly, his current tune is wack… here’s what I think Big E’s music should be…
SEE WHAT I DID THERE??? (BIG-E!!!)
So let me get this right so I can understand this; last week Langston helped CM Punk fight off Axel and Ryback, this week on Raw Langston is taking on the both of them, while CM Punk is backstage engaging in coitus with AJ Lee???? You think I don’t know Punk Midas???? Er question – what happened to Lita??? Wasn’t her pum-pum good enough???
I get it, so it took Paul Heyman to interfere for you to throw AJ Lee off your d!ck for a hot minute and go after em with a kendo stick????? HA!
Oh no who let that filthy pig in here??? Vickie pulls a ‘Teddy Long’ and makes it a tag team match… isn’t Teddy Long in the Hall Of Fame yet? VINCENT KENNEDY FIX UP!!!
What the……??? As CM Punk is struggling to overpower the man call Ryback, Paul Heyman is there holding out his hand at the apron saying “Tag Me Punk!!!” HAHA! Now that’s funny!
OH SNAP! Big E Langston! If you get a massive pot, you throw Ahmed Johnson in there, some Bobby Lashley, The Ultimate Warrior (finishing move – Ultimate Splash), you get BIG E!!!! Kick in the door wave in the 4-4! All I heard was Axel crying – don’t hit me no more!
OH SNAP! FUNKADACTYLS IN THE HIZ-OUSE!!!!! GOD DAYUUUUUM!!! Yo James Henson! How are you gonna say these women ‘don’t do it for you’ bredrin???? DUDE!!!! Have you lost your mind??? Brooke Tessmacher is fine no doubt but she ain’t sh!t compared to these two! YES JAZZ KUMAR I SAID IT!
Oh no not these muthaf***!n B!tch @$$ Americans, I wanna go for another commercial break but that Giant Swing by Cesaro and the Los Matadores can’t be missed! Oh F**K it here’s another commercial break
stop the blodclart complaining! Raw gives you commercial breaks, why can’t I???
WTF is that???? A bull whip from Zeb Coulter???? Looks suspiciously like those whips they used on my people in slavery!!! MUTHAF**K – THE GLOVES ARE OFF NOW – YOU WANNA F**K WITH ME ZEB COULTER??? Vincent Kennedy – Triple H – Stephanie – set the match for WrestleMania XXX – Infamous Informer Vs Zeb Coulter non-sanctioned match!!! I’m gonna F**K HIM UP!!!
Confirmed – Curtis Axel Vs Big E Langston for the I.C. belt in the YouTube match…. not happy about that but never mind!
YES!!! FEELIN THE COMBINED MIX OF GOLDUST & CODY RHODES MUSIC!!!! Bravo Jim Johnston! Why isn’t he in the hall of fame???? VINCENT KENNEDY FIX UP!!!
I’m so glad the commentators feel me on this one – this tag team contest between the Usos and the Shield should not be happening considering the conditions, but I like both teams so whoever loses, I WIN!!!
This is a great contest, but why the rarse has Dean Ambrose have to run his mouth to the new tag champions???? Now’s he’s getting his arse buss… or is it part of the plan??? Blodclart! ruckus all over the place! No #1 contender! That’s it – Triple Threat that muthaf***a!!!
Look at Triple TEEF applauding Danielson as he comes to the ring!!!!! Come on man Triple is as funny as hell!!! And HBK is a funny muthaf***a!!!!
I’m glad Randall acknowledged that he defeated Sheamus & John Cena but he SURVIVED against the Undertaker in Hell In A Cell… that is true. We have seen the Undertaker do worse in that thing word is bond!
You know these contract signings never end well in WWE!!! Let’s see how this one turns out, Randall has signed the contract… GASP! Daniel Bryan!!! You can’t call Triple & Steph selfish spoilt brats???!!! After Triple applauded you????
NO!!! Triple just disrespected Edge, Jericho & Rob Van Dam!!! We would be working for Ted Turner if they were the face of the company??? Yo Triple! Ted Turner would have to work for ME RUDE BOY!
WHOA!!! I know Danielson did not tell Triple that he should send for his wrestling gear and test him in one on one combat!!! I smell a Survivor Series match up… don’t you??? Well that depends on the outcome of the PPV…
NO TRIPLE!! How you gonna disrespect Shawn Michaels and his protegé like that??? I was wondering when HBShizzle was gonna speak coz he had a mic in his hand!
This is wild yo!!!! HBShizzle is putting his own best friend on BLAST!!!! What happened to the DeGenerate? How come he’s turned into a dry bread? What’s his beef with Danielson! Look at Randall getting paranoid!
BUMBACLAAAAAAAT!!! WHAT THE RARSE! THE BIG SHOW! DRIVING A TRUCK INTO THE ARENA! (Oh I can hear you now….”The Attitude Era is back!!!”) SHUT THE F**K UP!!!
Come on Triple! say those magic words your father in law said! “DON’T LET HIM IN HERE!!!”
Randall in shock! The Big Show! Telling Randall to turn around! Danielson with a knee to the face – BLAOW!!!!! Look at the face of Stephanie! The look of her father!!!! LAWWWWWWD!!!
BACKSIDE!!! I gotta order this PPV somehow some way! But yo! I’m gonna leave you with what I think should be the theme song for this sh!t!!! PEACE!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR POWERBOMB PRO WRESTLING NEWS.