Monday Night Raw #1067: November 4, 2013!!!

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The Infamous Informer

The way I got it figured, if you are reading this right now, it means either one of two things: One, you haven’t got the new Call Of Duty Ghosts game. You probably haven’t got WWE2K14 either. Don’t worry, I’m in the same boat, only difference is, I DON’T WANT Call Of Duty Ghosts: I love my woman, and she is my Call Of Duty. I don’t want to be turned into some muthaf**k!n Ghost over a game, YOU FEEL ME! The other thing why you may be reading this, is because you just wanna hear another dose of the Hip Hop Reppin, Jerk Chicken eatin’, Supermalt drinkin’, diva loving, wrestling nerd hatin’ INFAMOUS INFORMER!!!

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T!!! RAW 1067! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSource. WWE.COM

First time we see Luke Harper of the Wyatt Fam in singles competition… Why you looking surprised Harper? CM Punk rolled your b!tch @$$ up and pinned you… he is the best inna de wurl!!!

You know the Wyatts are not about wrestling matches anyway… they like to f**k up people and make them follow the buzzards… and just as they were gonna f**k up CM Punk, here comes Mr B+! Chair swinging! Crowd going buckwild for their two top anti heroes as they combine their force to fight off the evil that is the Wyatt Family! If this is leading to Survivor Series traditional jump off both parties need more people! In a way I can see the Wyatts teaming with Curtis and Dryback… but only time will tell..

Speaking of Dryback… OH MY DAYS!!! RYBACK WON A MATCH!!! (It was against the not so great Khali Grant….) er… oh dear….what was there to gain from that?? Nothing… lets move along…

Another great match-up by Kofi Kingston and my man Bertie…. but I swore blind I saw this last week on Smackdown…. come on, I’m yawning here, and it’s daytime! I didn’t watch live! Where’s the jokes? The storylines??? The gyal dem???

So ok, the WWE Universe choose Big E Langston over The Miz and Dolph Ziggler to face ladies favourite Randall Orton? At last they have finally understood. A few months ago Langston was ‘underneath’ Ziggler, the WWE Universe were on Ziggler’s d!ck… now Langston is DA MAN now???! HA!!!! Landslide vote of the Pink brief wearing greasy head top!

I noticed someone in the crowd with a sign saying ‘I NEED FIVE!!!’ A double reference to Langston saying that in NXT, and King Kong Bundy saying it from back in the day. I say BRING THAT SH!T BACK LANGSTON! Gotta have those jokes rude boy!

Big E went H.A.M. on Randall, but dude hit the RKO – BLAOW!!! Unlucky Langston, keep striving!!!! And for god sake do something about your head top! Don’t let me have to send for Cedric!

RAH-TID! Tyson Kidd finally decides to get off his @$$ and get back inna de ring! You know Christmas is coming when you see Tyson Kidd! He was injured for like what, 3000 years??? Good to see him back, but even better to see Natalya and Summer Rae fight!!!

Meanwhile in the Zeb Colter Vs Infamous Informer feud…

Zeb Colter ‏@WWEZeb 19h

ZEBISM OF THE DAY: BORDER HOPPING IS AN ACTIVITY THAT I HIGHLY DISAPPROVE OF. #WeThePeople

WELL THE GRANT SAYS: I AGREE WITH YOU… So I don’t expect you to cross the British Borders when WWE comes over here live next week… then again I HOPE YOU DO… so I can F**K YOU UP!

Wait a minute didn’t we see Cena/Rhodes Bros Vs Sandow/Real Americans on Smackdown last week? F**k this I’m watching Cheaters…

…and while Curtis Axel Battles Dolph Ziggler now is the time to grab a Real McCoy’s Man Crisps and a Crunchie… and a KA Pineapple fizzy drink… damn not feeling this weeks Raw man!!!!

Give me a reason to get back into this sh!t!!! Usos Vs 3MB??? Oh we have some twitter amusements!!! Ok let’s get into it…

Zack Ryder ‏@ZackRyder 10h

BIG SHOW’S HERE! #IAmSeriousBro #Raw (I’m here too)

THE GRANT SAYS: WE STILL DON’T GIVE A F**K ABOUT YOU….. BRO!!!! Apart from that – Didn’t Triple say that Big Show was banned from WWE for life??? I’m saying hmmmmmm…

GRANT - BODY - PHooray!!!! 6-Diva tag action!!!! Beautiful lady, (Go Ladies), lovely lady, (GO LADIES!) Bella Twins & Eva Marie Vs AJ Lee, Tamina and Aksana… LET’S GO!!!

DAMNIT I love Tamina… like, she my favourite wrestler out of the lot of them, but LAYLA remains the love of my life… Luckily for Brie Bella she managed to get out-of-the-way of Tamina’s superfly super move…

Hold up – Eva Marie tags herself in, rolls up Tamina and gets the three???? LAWWWWWD! Eva Marie WIN!!! That is HUGE!!! She stood there at the apron the whole time and tagged in when the time is right and got the pin! WHOA!!! She’s going to WrestleMania – No diva can beat her!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! SHOUT OUT TO Jazz Kumar and Brent Armstrong of the International Wrestling Fanbase!

Look pon Tamina – she is furious!!!! Look at the referee trying to restrain her – my god I wish that was me…. Oh my…. OHHHHHHHHH!!! I need a song for Tamina…

I lose, my cool, whenever you’re around, I can’t help myself…..NO…oh NOOO!!!!

Alright more jokes!!!! This is what it’s about! Not no pointless wrestling matches!!!

So I get it, Big Show wants his job back…. so after all that ruckus he be causing, all that truck driving into the arena business… seems like Big Show’s last paycheck is finally depleted. I don’t think Triple wants to comply… but Stephanie will!!! All is ok in the world! Nah there must be a catch surely!

Big Show ready to drop the lawsuit as well? Well at least he is an honest and unselfish man… Don’t wanna make WWE bankrupt when WrestleMania XXX is round the corner! Ooooh we don’t want that!!! Look at Triple TEEF!!!! He looks like he wants to send for the world’s largest hammer and clap Big Show upside the head with it! But asking to be the FACE of the company??? INJUSTICE! SEND FOR THE SHIELD!!!

HAHAHAHA! Look at Triple TEEF! leaning against the ring ropes with his left leg at an angle supported by his toes!!!! “Er… you asked for something????” With that simple motion, Triple TEEF has smashed it!!!

What is this – ‘Who Wants To Be Punched Through School Buses???’

Big Show: “What I want, what I deserve, is a WWE title shot against Randall Orton…”

Triple: “You lucky you got your job back, you should be grateful, now get out of my ring before you end up in a puddle of your blood…”

Big Show: “You sure about that?” (Big Show has a point – Blood is not allowed on a PG show!)

Triple: “DAMN SURE…”

Big Show: “FINAL ANSWER????”

Triple: “ABSOLUTELY…”

At this point Big Show should have said we will find out if Triple wins the Million after the break!!! But since you wrestling dorks hate the commercial breaks, lets find out now…

OH SNAP!!!! looks like the attorneys are on their way to the WWE Board of Directors in the morning!

OR MAYBE NOT!!! It bunn Triple! It BUNN HIM!!! He had to grant Big Show his title match at the Survivor Series! He knew that the attorneys would nyam Triple for breakfast, lunch, dinner and then Stephanie for the dessert!!!! OH YEAH!!!!!!

Well the Shield and Orton have come for Big Show’s clart!!! But then… FYYYRE!!!! IT’S KA………………….

WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY HERO KANE?????!!!! What is this? Suit? Tie? Trousers? Shoes? Paul Bearer must be turning in his grave… and he wore suits!!! He’s probably thinking… NOOOOO! MY KANE!!!! MY SON!!!

CITIZEN KANE

This has caused another uproar within the IWC… but let’s do the knowledge real quick… some of you IWC idiots just had to dig in and discover that outside of the ring, Glen Jacobs has found himself in politics…. now they wanna bring that part of the character into WWE TV… I suppose that whoever Glen is working for outside of WWE don’t like the idea of a ‘monster’ who sets people on fire and chokeslams women and tombstones priests running for a major position in future…. well ain’t that a b!tch!!!! So THE GRANT SAYS: Why are you all so surprised???

Look pon this… RKO by Randall – BLAOW!!! Ka- er I mean Glen throwing chairs into the ring! Well so much for him being a ‘Wyatt’!!! The Shield beating down the Big Show! Glen setting up the announce table! Roman Reigns taking down The Big Show with the steel steps! Setting him up, The Shield, triple powerbomb through the table – BLAOW!!!!!!!

I’m surprised Triple didn’t get extra licks in!!! THE GRANT SAYS THIS – OK I was wrong about Randy not facing Big Show at Survivor Series because he is, maybe we were all wrong about the Shield breaking up – you were wishing for that sh!t ever since they arrived on the scene!!! HA! What’s wrong with you people??? But my hero Kane….. Kane…… KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!!!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#BIGSHOWKNOCKHIMOUT

 

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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