Monday Night Raw #1072: December 9, 2013!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Ok this is how it goes down, from what I see on WWE.Com, they have shown highlights of Raw and done the Slammy Awards separate so, here I will speak on Raw, and I will do a separate post on the Slammys. How about that? And let’s waste no more time, this is the Hip Hop Reppin, Tekken @$$ whoopin, Outrageous Rantin, Diva Loving, Wrestling Fan hating Infamous Informer!

Let’s do this Ninjas and Ninjarettes! RAW #1072! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Big ups to Daniel Bryan whoopin that pansy Fandango’s @$$… good opening wrestling contest and… oh F**K THIS – I’m not interested in no wrestling match that has no significance!!! F**K THAT!

Quote from JBL: “Sandow claims he is the uncrowned intercontinental champion…” Wasn’t it like a few months ago when Sandow said he was the uncrowned World Champion??? Who’s the ignoramus now? Go and wash your brief!!! Yuh goose cook come Sunday at TLC against Big E Langston… saying that Sandow did pull off a wicked match against Cena earlier this year when he cashed his cheque and it bounced…

What? The Miz Vs Kofi Kingston again??? F**k this match up! Let’s talk about the newest acquisition that is joining WWE on a developmental contract… he obviously wants no part of England getting their @$$ whooped in the World Cup in Brazil next year – YEAH I SAID IT! If you feel like an enemy…COME AFTER ME! This should bring more Port Vale supporters to WWE should this dude make it…

Look at him - he's already mastered the YES! Chant!

Now here’s something I can sink my teeth into… 8 man tag team jump off – The Rhodes Brudda, Big Show & Rey Mysterio Vs The Racist Bastards and RybAxel… And I want The Big Show to punch that @$$hole Zeb Colter through school buses!

Hold on – Zeb Colter nominated for insult of the year? Anyhow BDSIR LAYLA GRANThe wins… By God I will go off…. TRUST ME. This blog may not end well…

I just realised something – it was Rey Mysterio who scored the victory for his team! What you gotta say now Colter you dirty muthaf***a? You know one day somebody gonna kick his @$$… and I hope and I pray that somebody is…. ME!

Side note – look how Rey jumped on Big Show and hugging like they father and son after that win… you would never think that this happened back in the day…

 

So let me get this right so I can understand this: This Sin Cara – it’s a character – a mexican folk-lore hero that luchadores can play as? It’s not necessarily gotta be one specific wrestler playing the gimmick? Hmmm interesting…

Oh no! My favourite Nubians are starting to look at Broadus Clay as if to say – ‘what’s up with you Broadus? I thought we were cool? Why you gotta beat down Xavier Woods like that?’ I don’t know either, maybe Broadus overheard Cameron & Naomi talking about Xavier’s ‘WOOD’…

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Damn son the crowd are loving the contest between CM Punk & Dean Ambrose! What a shame is was too late to be nominated match of the year huh? Never mind!

TLC 2013UH-OH what’s going on here! Ambrose dashes Punk out of the ring, Rollins and Reigns are just looking pon him, what I don’t understand is – why did Ambrose shoot off his mouth to his bredrin? They was like – ‘Aiight! we outta here…. or maybe not!!!’ Ambrose loses the match, Rollins with the distraction, and Reigns with the Spear to CM Punk – BLAOW!!!!

Good lord – Luke Harper’s clothesline is vicious rude boy! Put down Jimmy Uso ONE TIME! You know why that happened to you rude boy? Because of how you treated Naomi in Total Divas… the Wyatts didn’t like that… At least you sacrificed yourself for Naomi – for all you know the WWE creative could have thought about a love interest between Naomi and that dude with the goat/buzzard mask! On that hand, don’t blame ya rude boy! Protect your woman! Protect your queen!

Damn I LOVE MY B!TCH!! Tamina’s ferocity against Natalya turns me on!!! You know what  I’m making an early prediction – Tamina as a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble next year! REMEMBER I TOLD YA!Tamina come hereTamina so ferocious she nearly teared up Natalya’s attire!!! I love her. F**k what you think!

This is wild yo! Champions, legends, hall of famers all up in the ring to witness the Championship Ascension! This segment is WrestleMania quality, maybe the fans are right – maybe this should have been at WrestleMania… the first time they unified the titles, the build up wasn’t even this big!

And so Triple TEEF lifts the championship high in the air.. and Randall thought it was a good idea to box Cena, and all hell breaks loose! But wait!! Randall boxes CM Punk accidentally!!! Oooh you shouldn’t have done that! CM Punk goes in!!! Boxing up Randall! Hold up – Triple TEEF pitches Punk out the way??? Can he do that??? GO AFTER HIM PUNK!!!

OH SH!T!!!! PUNK BOX DOWN TRIPLE!! WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! OH SNAP! SHAWN MICHAEL KICK HIM DOWN!!! LAWWWWWD!

DANIELSON! He hasn’t forgotten about what HBShizzle did to him at the Hell In A Cell joint! JESUS HAVE MERCY!

Randall! tried an RKO on Danielson, but him block it, and runs right into an unsuspecting Stephanie!!!! OH NO! Randall has DONE IT NOW!

Look at the face of Bertie! Miz! Swagger! Ziggler! They know sh!t just got real!

OH SH!T! TRIPLE BEX!!!! THE PEDIGREE TO ORTON – BLOAWWWWWW!!

Here’s the twist! Look at John Cena as if he has sided with the Authority! Nearly two years ago my hero Kane wanted to destroy him!!!

Oh man – I don’t know what to say! I can say this though – NO ONE SAW THAT ENDING! We have learned something today – Triple will make you the face of the company, buy you private jet and all that – but f**k with his wife – AND THEN YOU DIE!!!

Come on Michael Cole let’s get this interview with Triple poppin!!! THIS IS WRESTLEMA- (What? … It’s only TLC??? Really??? But, but…..!!!!!)

Just when I was about to end this blog…. shout out to STC’s Anthony Cardenas! He just showed me exclusive footage of what happened after RAW! Stephanie McMahon is A HIP HOP HEAD!!! CONFIRMED! CHECK IT OUT!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

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