Monday Night Raw #1074: December 23, 2013!!!

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The Infamous Informer

First and foremost: SHUDDUP!!!!

Second: SHUDDUP!!!!

Third and the most important: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

All you miserable Wrestling fan muthaf***az, getting yourself that Anti-Cena shirt for Christmas, not knowing that you are actually giving your money to the man you hate! It just means more condoms for him and Nikki Bella! Yes I am the Infamous Grinchformer to you, and I am looking forward to this Christmas edition of Raw… it is bound to give me jokes! But I will go Grinch mode if they come off too cheesy! I know it’s for the kids, but I don’t want wrestling muthaf***az singing carols like they did last year… or was it the year before…? Enough of that sh!t…

You’re a foul one…Mr Grinch… HA! HA! RAW #1074!! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

WTF???? My hero Kane giving out holiday cheer???? Ah wha de rarse!!!! Christmas Candy for the kids???? This is gonna be great!!!

Look at the evil one! Even he’s smiling! Ladies Favourite Randall Keith Orton! The Face of the WWE baby!!! WROOOOOOOOY!!!! With his two belts!!! And he wishes everybody a Merry Christmas!!!! Tiz the seazon to be jolly! He’s in a giving mood! 4 years ago he kicked them in their head and kissed up Stephanie, now he gives himself to the authority, and they give him the night off??? Hey – you guys ‘hate’ him, you think he’s boring, therefore he did you a favor! (But he must defend his -) STOP YOUR NOISE!!!

12 Diva Jingle Bells match???? OH YEAAAAAAH!!!!! I wished this was on later though…

WWE OH YEAH

WTF is Vickie doing in this match???? Apart from that – this is the greatest match tonight!!!!

Shout out to STC’s Matt Blick – he just had to put a downer on the match because Eva Marie has ring time – It’s Christmas!!!! Stop being miserable! If Eva Marie appeared at your house wearing that Santa outfit you’ll soon see how quick you feel awkward in your jeans!

That was great!!!! The Total Divas combined their force running around the ring hand in hand and clapping down each evil diva!!!!

Now that Curtis Axel and Huni- er I mean Sin Cara are to engage in a wrestling contest, it’s time for me to get my refreshments from the kitchen….

That JAY-BEE (JBL) he has always had a problem with men wearing masks, claiming that they are all evil! He hasn’t got over Rey Mysterio ending his career!!! You think he’s gonna come out of retirement to fight Sin Cara???

BUMBACLART!!!!! SH!T IS REAL!!! BATISTA SOON COME BACK!!!

AND I SAY YEAAAAAAAAAAH! I WALK FOR MILES INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! ANY MAN WHO IS A FRIEND OF THE RZA IS A FRIEND OF MINE!

Rza-Dave-Bautista-Fists_610

But the twist is…. it’s all about THAT SIGN!!!! It’s playing tricks on muthaf***az!!! HBShizzle hanging around, Hogan buying a ticket, Jeff Jarrett suddenly quitting TNA… now Batista is back next month… Jericho playing games on his twitter… Undertaker confirmed to be there… it’s all about THAT SIGN!!!

TRUE BIG BIG WRESTLEMANIA XXX LOGO

Ok this match should be MAAAAAAAAAD!!! literally! The Wyatt Family. Daniel Bryan. The Rhodes Brudda…Six man tag team action. HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!

LAWWWD Goldust slapping up the Wyatt man dem like a b!tch!!!! Goldust invented BIZARRE!!!

WOW – I’m telling you – if this is Goldust’s last run – he is performing better than most people on the roster! His skills are amazing in this match rude boy! This man is in his 40s surely!!!

(Confirmed – 44 years old)

Shout out to STC’s Dustin Baker… he’s getting his grinch on too?! How is this match boring??? He must be watching WWE Velocity or something!!!

Daniel Bryan just wants to f**k up Bray Wyatt!!! No one is able to do that yet! OH SNAP! Wyatt got the Sister Abigail super move to Cody Rhodes! But they’re not interested in the Rhodes Brudda, they are really f**k!n with Daniel Bryan!!! Honestly all Bryan has to do is GET IN THE CHAIR… and all this will go away!!!

Ok IWC – why aren’t you b!tching that Vincent Kennedy is giving out WWE Titles to sports stars???? They don’t have to defend that sh!t!!!

Oh no – Christmas Carols??? I dreaded this!!!! But wait!!! R-Truth and Xavier BDSIR LAYLA GRANTWoods – LOOK!!! Cameron & Naomi are riding with them!!!! WHOA!!!! I’m just waiting for Broadus Clay to come out with his stupidness!

Thank God he didn’t! And Thank God that Santino and Khali brukk up 3MB and kick em out the ring!!!

Wait a minute – Dolph Ziggler Vs Fandango in a Christmas present on a pole match? Can’t we have Summer Rae dance on that thing??? I said it before and I’ll say it again – Summer Rae needs a good f**k!!!

OH SNAP – the winner of this match gets an Intercontinental title shot on Raw next week??? BACKING FANDANGO HERE!! So that Fandango can get BRUKK UP and Big E can show Summer Rae how a ruff neck brotha can satisfy her!!!

YES!!!! The Infamous Grinchformer wins again!!! Fandango!!! GET IN!!!!!!

HAHA all you Ziggler fans!!! Eat a bowl of sprouts… and SHUDDUP!!!!

What? The Usos vs The Primetime Players??? NO!!!! These two teams should never clash! It’s a sin!!!! STOP THIS NONSENSE RIGHT NOW!!!

Oh dear!!! The crowd chanting – THIS IS AUSTIN!!! Because the Prime Time Players said ‘Houston’ by mistake! How dare they disrespect Houston Texas! Home of the Undertaker and the greatest WrestleMania ever – WrestleMania X-Seven!!! In fact where is that sign…

wrestlemania17

Shout out to STC Bossman – Jamie Maverick Shields!!! YOU ALREADY KNOW RUDE BOY!!!!

Oh no!!!! It’s Bad Santa Vs Good Santa!!! Hear Michael Cole – Come on Good Santa! Pull it Out! Pull it Out!!! HEY STEADY MICHAEL COLE!!!

Even though I’m a ‘grinch’, I gotta back Good Santa here!!! Represented by Mark Henry!!!

Representing Bad Santa and trying to cancel Christmas, Damien Sandow… I like Sandow… he gives me joke but we talking Mark Henry here!

What is a toilet doing in the ring? OH NO! Henry pushes Sandow’s head crown in the toilet!! Then he wets him up with the fire extinguisher!

Look at Sandow destroying the presents with the candy cane!!! DISRESPECT!

OH LAWWWD – Henry with the World’s Strongest Slam to Sandow – BLAOW!!!! THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!!

Oh no! Henry throws the Christmas cupcakes in Sandows face! The 2 Brukk Gyal have to be devastated… they spent all night making those things!

2-broke-girls-0aThat Kat Dennings lady (Max.. the one with the dark hair – ) front way -back way – side way – cocky between then t!tt!£$ – I’D TEAR THAT PU$$Y UP!!! Caroline can sit and watch and play twister with herself like Tweet!! Oops! Oh My!!!

GRANT BODY -P!!!

Been as I’m in the festive mood… Zeb Colter just told Los Matadores to go back to where they came from… well THE GRANT SAYS I got a SIZE 12 Timberland Boot right here, shine it up real nice… keep shining it… turn that sum b!tch side ways – AND STICK IT STRAIGHT IN YOUR F**K!NG MOUTH!!!

And Colter’s ignorance cost his team again!!!! YES!! This is a great Raw by Infamous standards!!!

You think that Ryback would be a man who loves the Christmas spirit… been as that he likes to growl at his moms – Feed Me More!!! A major part of Christmas is eating that good Turkey, roast potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce… all that good sh!t!!! You would think that he would take a pic of his food and puts it on his instagram!

THIS IS THE MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING!!! CM Punk! Big E Langston! John Cena! Vs The Shield!!!! Six tag team ruckus! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

The Christmas spirit don’t change sh!t for Cena! LET’S GO CENA! CENA SUCKS!!

Damn that Roman Reigns dude man!!!! That Superman punch he got… BLODCLART!!! Oh yeah!!! To all those who suddenly think that Roman Reigns is gonna win the Royal Rumble… THE GRANT (Or should I say Skyzoo) SAYS THIS:

 

I like the fact that Big E Langston is mixing it up with the big dogs… it was like what… 6 months ago or so that Langston was underneath Ziggler??? Now who’s da man!!! AJ Lee – 190 days as Divas Champion… HAHA I LOVE IT!!!

Big E Langston is a beast in the ring! I don’t think the Shield are ready for this!! OH SNAP – disqualification! The Shield are gonna f**k him up!! Not if CM Punk and Cena have anything to do with it!!! JBL can say ‘Welcome to the Deep end Big E’ but in the end it was The Shield that wound up singing Kick in the Door waving the 4-4!!!

Smack Talk Centre, Powerbomb Pro Wrestling News, Wrestle Town, BDSIR Network, Cage Amateurs UK, it has been fun running joke for the 2013… but in 2014.. I’m gonna get em again!!! I know we all don’t celebrate the seazon to be jolly for different reasons, so happy holidays muthaf***az! eat, drink, and be DUTTY!!!!Diva Christmas

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

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