Monday Night Raw #1078: January 20, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Ray Logo

The Infamous Informer

 

Grant Luther King also has a dream: That one day, a black man can become World Wrestling Federation Champion without having to resort to a corny @$$ gimmick!!!

I watched the 50 Years of WWE DVD earlier before this weeks Raw jumps off, and the McMahon family have achieved so much greatness. But in that 50 years, we have had great champions… but not one (unless you count The Rock) Afro-American wrestler has made it to WWE’s biggest prize. Yes you can talk about the World Heavyweight Title and it’s prestige and the black guys that have held it… but we talking WWE here, the pinnacle of sports entertainment. To interpolate from Chris Rock: Is the wrestling world ready for a black champion? Well we should be! We’ve just had a whining one!!! (Randy Orton)

Talking of champions… awaiting the return of the Animal Batista! Bertie time to back up your sh!t! Royal Rumble cometh! RAW #1078! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHow ironic that they show black icons in life such as Muhammad Ali and Barack Obama with the MLK speech, #IHAVEADREAM in the top left corner… and yet they cannot show a black WWE champion…. SMH!!!

Triple Teef wasting  no time in introducing and welcoming back Batista!!!! RECORD SKIP!! But you don’t look like Batista…. RANDALL ORTON??!!! Now this man wants to cuss down the authority… good thing Stephanie shut him down one time when he boxed down John Cena daddy for no reason!!!

And I say YEAAAAAAAAAHHH! I WALK ALONE INSIDE THIS PIT OF DANGER!!! BAAAAAAATISTA IS BACK MUTHAF****A!!!!

Did you hear that female fan??? ‘I LOVE YOU BATISTA!!!’ The question remains: Will The RZA be a guest at WrestleMania supporting his friend?

Shout out to Mark Henry as well! THATS WHAT I DO!

Batista come for one thing: the WWE World Heavyweight Championship! He vows to win the Rumble! I love Batista – he’s my good Wu-Tang friend but that honor belongs to Daniel Bryan! Unless of course the bell has tolled for him…

Near enough every week a different set of guys take on The Shield… I gotta ask: Are anybody afraid of these guys anymore????

Unlucky Big E Langston, This time the Shield kicked in the door waved in the 4-4 on your @$$! But imagine the rumble and the Shield all up in there??? 3 mans – 1 unit – mans are in trouble!!!!

YES! YES! YES! Daniel Bryan is about to explain himself!!! He doesn’t look like he had a concussion to me!!!! You wrestling dorks read too dyam much! Can’t get off your fat @$$£$ and specsavers have to make specially made glasses because your head and chin bone too big!

Hold up – did I hear right??? Did Daniel Bryan just say that he wants Bray Wyatt one on one at the Rumble???? Er what about the Royal Rumble match??? What about WrestleMania???? Er Danny you may have to re-think this!! Now Wyatt calls Danny a traitor… I LOVE THIS!!

Royal Rumble 2014 Hogshead2

DAMN! My boy Xavier Woods lost to Fandango in quiktime! Forget about that – that’s not the first time NXT diva ‘Emma’ is spotted in the audience???!!! I’m saying hmmmmm….

Oh mayyyyn! My hero Kane has gotta apologise to CM Punk for chokeslamming him for no reason on Smackdown… why have I got this feeling that CM Punk will reply with ‘You’re forgiven’ with a GTS??? HMMMM… the plot thickens!

Er… I just saw the footage… ok I understand now! I think Kane was within his rights to chokeslam CM Punk!!!

I knew CM Punk was gonna attack my hero like that! Kane ready to back off jacket?!!! That idiot Brad Maddox shuts all that down and now Billy Gunn is fighting the self-proclaimed Best Inna De Wurl!!!

NOW I GET IT!!! That’s how CM Punk is gonna be eliminated out the Rumble! My hero Kane might be a surprise entrant and eliminate him! Either that or a distraction of some kind!

Hold up – RECORD SKIP!!! New Age Outlaws to take on The Rhodes Brudda for the Tag Team titles at the Rumble???? Is that what I heard???? I don’t think the Usos mind… particularly Jimmy (or is it Jey)… who just married that sexy @$$ Naomi!!! YOU SIR ARE A LUCKY MAN!

naomi-jimmy-uso-wedding

OH SNAP!!!! Upon Punk’s victory over Billy Gunn, my hero Kane comes back out, gathers his thoughts, uses emotional content and says this – ‘HA! You say you ah de BEST INNA DE WURL, well you is #1 inna de rumble you liccle blodclart!!!!’ Hey! HBShizzle did it! And I think Chris Benoit did it as well! (If it wasn’t #1 it was #2… ) it’s not impossible!!! IT CAN BE DONE!

WHAT? 2 Chainz & Wiz Khafila got the official theme song for the Royal Rumble? F**K THAT – The Smack Talk Centre got the official theme! And it goes something like this…

 

Big ups to Johnnie Mae Young… great touching video tribute… she was a hottie back in the day as well! NOT BAD!!! LIVE ON LIVE LONG… THANK YOU FOR THE JOKES! What was kinda sad, was that at the Hall Of Fame ceremony, she said that she would be in a WWE ring at age 100… and you know she meant that sh!t!

 

Rubber match contest between Alberto Del Rio and Rey Mysterio… will we see Batista come out again??? Will we see the doodoo come down Bertie’s leg?

I think Bertie got this on lock… working on the bad arm of Rey Mysterio… Bertie just end the match…. and don’t go overboard! I’m jussayin…

…AND I SAY YEAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! LOOK WHO’S BACK!!!!! Bertie yuh goose cook!!!!! Talk sh!t now!!! BATISTA BOMB – BLAOW!!!!!!!

Why have I got that feeling that Bertie will take Batista out the Royal Rumble game?????? Remember I told ya!!!

Hold up – Big Show calls out Brock Les- no sorry – BRRRROCCCCK LESSSNAR and the man walks to the ring only to make a U-turn??? Gotta be mind games surely!

Oh hang on… he ‘s back… here we go!!!! BRING THE RUCKUS!!! Brock manhandled AGAIN!!! This is crazy!!!! I don’t know who to back on this one! I love both guys! I do have a theory though of how it’s going down…

Oh yes!!!! AJ Lee & Tamina in the hizhouse! Funkadactyls in the hizhouse!

SAM_2527Naomi you’re married now but you’re still my favourite Nubian! If Jimmy treats you wrong… Private message me at @MZATheInfamous on twitter!!! Now Bad News Barrett is too outta order and bright!!! How can he say that no one likes AJ???? Has he checked her twitter???? I don’t think he has!

God Dayum I love Naomi’s fighting style!!! Until of course she ran into Tamina’s big boot….

So w’happen, Naomi pins the divas champion twice??? Uh-oh!!! Is AJ’s time as the longest reigning Divas champion of this generation numbered? She’s made it past half the days that CM Punk reigned!!! (218 days at time of this publication)

Is it me? Or does the Uso shirts remind me a bit of the Hardy Boyz????

Is it me? Or does Jimmy have a bit of a spring in his step when he came down to the ring????? (I WOULD!!! WOULD YOU???!!!!)

These guys are dancing and all that… knowing that they are fighting the Wyatt Family dem??? That is the power of the pum-pum right there! Yes I’m talking Naomi’s pum-pum!!!! In Total Divas terms… Naomi married off, Natalya married off, Eva Marie engaged, Brie not far away from being married, Nikki still a single slu- er I mean woman!

Dammn!!! when One of the Uso brudda climbed the top ropes, the Wyatt bwoy pushed him off, landing into the barricade – BLAOW!!! Ha! Bray had to stand and applaud! He loved that sh!t!!!!

OH SNAP!!! Bray talking too much cryptic sh!t! Daniel Bryan assaulting Bray Wyatt! Costing his jabroni friends the match against the Usos! Naomi in the family, a win over the Wyatts, the Usos must be bumpin Ice Cube in their whip!

“I felt on the big fat fanny

I bet that was what Jimmy was thinking!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So then, the main event… Randall Orton Vs…. Kofi Kingston??!!!!! And this man is a ‘jobber’ Joe Gillam of the STC????? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

Look at Kofi!!! Coming with that ruthless aggression!!! Fist and Fire all over Randall! He should be fighting for the title dammit! But I understand though… as Mike Knoxxx says: #WrestlingIsStoryline!!! Stay calm Kofi! I believe you can win!

HERE COMES CENA!!!! Rushing the arena!!! Er NICE SHIRT! He must have picked it up on the way back from the hospital where his daddy at! Fighting Randall all over the arena! Kofi can get his cheque now!

But Randall took foot and run! Jumped in a car… in the passenger seat??? So Randall has an accomplice??? Maybe the wrestling fan in me is reading into it a bit too much…. Did Randall do ‘what was right as according to the Authoritaah???

Ok gotta go, maintain my good looks, get behind the camera, make my Royal Rumble predictions, go into the booth with my ninjaz Y2JAY, Shadfather & Icy Fresh for the BDSIR Network STC From The UK, then I shall see you all Sunday for the Royal Rumble! Hogshead Wolverhampton! Be there or be a Jeremy Kyle Jabroni! I’M OUT!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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