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What a LA-LA at the Royal Rumble! Just like the bossman of the Smack Talk Centre said: ‘The PPV was like meeting a hot woman on a date, she’s into you, you’re into her, you’re about to get that Drew & Derwin on, you know that wonderful night, only to find out she has a D!CK!!!’ The record skips and you are running for the hills. Next thing you know you find yourself on Jerry Springer Show…

Limo Blow up

Isn’t it ironic? That last week on Raw, Triple Teef told Randall to ‘Fix It and Make it Right’??? Now after the Rumble, the atrocity that was Danny not even in the Rumble, my good Wu-Tang friend Batista won the thing, now it’s TRIPLE TEEF that’s gotta fix it…and MAKE IT RIGHT! I think Vincent Kennedy should give Triple the ’30 days to turn WWE around’… or he’s FIRED!!!

 

Threats to boycott WWE Network, Mick Foley about to throw the brick through the TV, controversy hitting BBC News… SH!T IS CRAZY! RAW #1079! HOL’ DAT BLAOW!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOk get out here Triple TEEF! i don’t know why you’re smiling about!!!

Damn the fans still bex about Batista!! Hold up Stephanie talking about the chamber… and Danny waste no time coming out here!!! that’s it Danny! Kick down Triple!!!! The hottest superstar out today and he can’t even enter the rumble??? BLASPHEMY!!!

YES! YES! YES! Tell that Triple TEEF! You want in the Chamber and compete for that World Wrestling Federation Title!!! Tell him say he’s keeping you down! I guess the script writers got to work big time!!! I suppose it is INJUSTICE! Send for the Shield!!!

Sheamus is back in effect rude boy! Here comes Cena with his glow in the dark shirt! What’s that in his back pocket? You’re not a blood! you’re not a crip muthaf***a!!! that’s like a green handkerchief or some sh!t!! What are you tryna start a Cenation crew to go against the Bloods and the Crips???

Wait – I thought WWE can’t use that Sin Cara character again??? I see him teamed up with Mysterio, who was booed at the Rumble but we all know the boos were not meant for him coming out at #30…. let’s not talk about the rumble too much, don’t wanna wind up your b!tch @$$£$! You think I don’t know about that video of your fat @$$ tearing up the house because Danny wasn’t in the rumble???

Six man tag team match announced for Raw! The Shield Vs Danny, Johnny and Sheamus! Winning team goes to fight inna de Chamber! Well I think we know the winners here… like we can see Randall defending his title against the Shield & Brock Lesnar in the Chamber! But wait! I wouldn’t put it past WWE to throw Roman Reigns up in the Chamber! WATCH DI RIDE!!!

I never thought I’d say this but… BAD NEWS BARRETT!! You got me!!! That big out podium, you want some decorum??? I like that word!!! I had to google that sh!t!!!

dɪˈkɔːrəm/
noun
noun: decorum

1.
behaviour in keeping with good taste and propriety.
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”
synonyms: propriety, properness, seemliness, decency, decorousness, good taste, correctness, appropriateness;
politeness, courtesy, good manners;
refinement, breeding, deportment, dignity, respectability, modesty, demureness
“he had acted with the utmost decorum”

Jesus Have Mercy that Summer Rae!!! (Down boy! Down!!!) I feel the eyes rolling into the back of my head top!!! I was told I was ‘not normal’… to those who say that, THE GRANT SAYS – Thank You For The Compliment!

Not feeling that WrestleMania XXX theme tune!!! F**k that theme tune – The Infamous Informer got his own theme tune!!!!

 

Can someone tell me why every time Fandango is in the ring that NXT chick Emma is in the crowd??? Answers on a postcard please! Nah f**k that – tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!!!

HA HA! Batista pointing at the fans with a sign saying – ‘BooTista’!!!! And smiling about it! OH SNAP!!! Hold up – what are the fans chanting? I can’t hear th… oh hang on I got it – DANIEL BRYAN!!!

Better choice of jeans by the way Batista… stop wearing that skinny jeans sh!t!

While my good friend Batista tells Randall that he don’t business who him a fight, perfect opportunity for BRRRROCK LESSSNAR to come out – remember he said he was fighting the champion!!!

Look at BROCK!!! Screaming like a Beast at the Viper! I think the Viper looked like he got a bad case of diarrhoea!

So that’s how it goes down in the streets? Either Lesnar fights Batista, or he fights Randall for the title, or ELSE…. No one leaves Cleveland alive??? OH SNAP!

What the f**k? Battle of Cleveland match? Dolph Ziggler vs the Miz? Ok this is the part where I get my tea…. it’s cold out here!

Ok I’m back…. who won that match I missed it???

 

OH SNAP!!! THE ROCK GOT ME!!!

Damn I love that entrance by the Uso brudda! I love the Samoan chant, When they say Us, we say Os… then the pyro – BLAOW!!!! One of my favourites since the Batista entrance!

Meanwhile… big ups to Smack Talk Centre’s #1 Dutty Bwoy Lee Steadx for this one!

THE INFAMOUS NEMESIS!

Look at that fat muthaf***a! Makes me wanna give him two kick in his dutty mouth!

It’s the USOS TIME NOW!!! They defeated Dryback! I can’t believe one year ago Ryback was my Royal Rumble champion… look at him now… anyone would think he talked sh!t about Triple Teef and Stephanie!

Oh hang on – the next Hall Of Fame inductee??? Could it be the British Bulldog Davey Boy Smith???

As much as I like Bertie, I want Kofi to win this one… word up man can’t they give Kofi a push after he defeated Randall and his wild @$$ stunts at the Royal Rumble??? Look past the fact that he’s a black man who is more than capable of taking Summer Rae away from Fandango… well that ‘s if he was a bona-fide yardy!

Did someone just have a sign saying ‘Sting Vs Taker WM30′???? My eyes are razor-sharp like The RZA! Oh no the fans not feeling the match! Cheering JBL and now Jerry Lawler! They’re not chanting Michael Cole as well?!!!!

That same fool with that sign I mentioned earlier now has a sign saying ‘Cena Still Owns Rock’… I don’t care how much you paid for that ticket – you could have got some pu$$y with that money! And change left over to buy some muthaf***!n toothpaste and mouthwash after you had your dirty stinking mouth full of hair!

GRANT BODY – P!!!BDSIR LAYLA GRANT

Now the fans are feeling the match! Backing Kofi! Come on kid! Use your Guinness Punch skills! Use the ackee & salt fish! Calaloo! all that good sh!t us Jamaicans love to eat!

Oh snap… Bertie won… damnit! Yes – WWE2K14 is one of the hottest games out now.. that is until June when Ultra Street Fighter IV drop! It’s over for everybody tuh-blodclart!

Considering the New Age Outlaws are ‘heels’, they don’t convince me as heels! They are those guys you can never boo!

I love when the WrestleMania sign is hanging high in the arena… that sign makes you FIGHT YOUR BEST!!! Ever noticed that the quality of wrestling matches has improved???

Random thought – can you imagine if Goldust and Billy Gunn had a feud back in the New Generation/Attitude Era? Think about it, Billy Gunn’s alias is Mr A$$… and considering Goldust gimmick back in the day… Billy Gunn would be asking for trouble! Saying that, if it was TV14 now, Goldust would be going after Dolph Ziggler or Darren Young… imagine that sh!t! Even Darren Young wouldn’t want him!

NO WAY! Brock Lesnar fights nobody because the authoritaaah was rampin??? Now he’s dropping steel chairs on the Rhodes Brudda??? Doesn’t it remind you when Austin and Triple Teef were dropping Steel Chairs on the Hardys and Lita? My boys Kane & The Undertaker???? Hmmm… The Undertaker… (strokes long white beard)

YES!!!! GO LADIES!!! My Favourite Nubians! The Bella Twins! Aksana! Alicia Fox! Tamina! AJ Lee! They would all get my majestic member!

Good work by the camera man focussing on AJ Lee’s Bonita Applebum! that goes for Naomi’s badukadunk too!

 

Did you see that wild @$$ triple suplex???? I haven’t seen the guys do that! Hold on – Naomi pinned the Divas champion like – 3 times now??? WTF??? GIVE MY WOMAN A TITLE SHOT AJ! Stop being stingy! The battle of the @$$£$!!!

OH SNAP!!!! JAKE THE SNAKE DEP INNA DE HALL OF FAME!!! He didn’t make it to the rumble… but wrestlers be trippin’ when he throws that muthaf***a in the ring! I would be too! Them things can kill you! One bite and you’ve HAD IT!

HOF Warrior Jake

MAIN EVENT TIME! 6 MAN TAG TEAM JUMP OFF! WINNING TEAM GOES INTO THE CHAMBER!!! Michael Cole just mentioned CM Punk – I noticed we haven’t seen him today! Well bwoy after that chokeslam from my hero Kane he probably hasn’t got up from that! The question remains – does that mean that Kane will be fired from D.O.O.?

Crowd chanting for Roman Reigns! He is an OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! Yo I loved when Michael Cole read the list of people’s that Reigns eliminated including JAY-BEE, in which Mr Layfield snapped – WILL YOU STOP READING THE STUPID LIST AND CALL THE MATCH!!! That sh!t is funny – JAY-BEE took off his jacket read to fight, Reigns dashed him out, and JAY-BEE put back on his jacket!!! I thought you were a wrestling…. GOD!!!

OH SNAP!!! The Wyatt Bwoy dem come to f**k it up for Cena! But that means they f**ked it up for the Shield to go to the chamber!!! Does this mean that the IWC may finally get the dream wank match that they have been craving for ever since the Wyatt Bwoy stepped on the scene? Could we see a 6-man Elimination Chamber Tag Team war between the Shield and the Wyatts???? It’s only right!!!! You can do it on WWE2K14!!!

Wait, I might be expecting too much then I get bex…. like a lot of these wrestling fools…

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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