Monday Night Raw #1083: February 24, 2014

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

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The Infamous Informer

Oooooooooooooooh WWE know how to wind you b!tches up don’t they???!!! Have you abandoned hope for Danny??? You went a

nd tried to get the WWE Network after they dun told you that it’s only available in the US…. THE GRANT SAYS Have patience!!! You really need to see your wrestling ‘god’ Chris Benoit fight?? What is wrong with you people??? Yes – today is unofficially called #ChrisBenoitDay… and I’ll tell you something else: I’m not interested in the wrestling matches this week… Hulk H

ogan is back! Undertaker is supposed to be back! Bare storyline and joke me ah deal wid!!!

All bets are off! WrestleMania XXX cometh! RAW #1083.. HOL’DAT B



…And before I begin, Every week leading up I’m gonna put up the big BIG WrestleMania XXX sign to make you know seh – THIS SH!T IS SERIOUS!

HE’S BAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCK!!! He escaped the TNA sinking ship! Dixie held on to his leg! He said – SHUDDUP!!! He

saw the WrestleMania sign!!!! He knew he had to be there! He was at the 1st WrestleMania, and on the 30th WrestleMania, he’s gonna host the event!!! WHAAAAAAAAAAT!! And I’m a Warrior fan! Welcome Back Hulk Hogan!


Come on – you can’t tell me that sign isn’t POWERFUL???!!!

Oh no – we gonna have a rematch with Batista and Bertie??? Like I said, this week, it ain’t about the wrestling matches… it’s about STORYLINE! That’s my focus this week!

Why is Brock Lesnar here as well??? I think I know the answer… if it is the answer I’m thinking…. I’m gonna mark out like a BIATCH!!!!!

Well I can say one thing, I’m glad they restored Bertie’s music! And they still booing my Wu-Tang friend Batista! So disrespectful…. DEAL WITH IT!!!!

Damn they booing Batista so much that even John Cena is thinking dayuuum!!! I must have passed the relay baton on!!!

Big ups to Jerry Lawler who pointed out the reason you jabronies are booing Batista, because of the Danny Bryan factor!!! WOW!!!! That’s the first time that was acknowledged!!! I’m stroking my shaolin long beard here!!!

Oh dear Randall f**ked up Batista’s runnings!!! And he’s… oh hang on… they’re chanting CM Punk… what can that muthaf***a do??? Now Batista is on some John Cena promo sh!t – “I don’t care if they boo me or not I’m gonna brukk up your blousecup Randall – DEAL WITH IT!!’” Oh I get it… is that his ‘go home line’???? You know what you need to do Batista? You need to call your friend The RZA… he will get the fans on your side again!

So hold up, what if Cesaro defeats Big E???? That’s gonna look embarrassing on Wack Swagger won’t it? I have a revelation on that We The People chanting crap… it’s because they supporting Cesaro’s fighting style, not the garbage that Zeb Colter spews out his dutty mouth!

Oh snap – I just missed Cesaro dropping that tilt-a-whirl slam on Big E!!! My own fault… I did say – f**k wrestling and concentrate on the stories!

Haha! funny… quick question – will YOU be purchasing the Royal Rumble 2014 DVD??

That’s what I thought!!!!

Considering that I’m not interested in wrestling matches, this match between Cesaro and Langston was quality… but why did Swagger come in and teef and f**k it up for Cesaro??? Well let’s be real… We love Cesaro, Swagger is WACK, and it’s only now the heediat clocked on.

I know John Cena ain’t no Stone Cold Steve Austin… he cut a promo talking about the WWE Network and any man has to go through Cena, Bray Wyatt stepping forward to f**k him up out of the title and all that… imagine if Austin cut this promo! He be like – I don’t give a rat’s @$$ about the WWE Network, Bray Wyatt you son of a b!tch – you cost me the WWE Championship so I want you to get your sorry @$$ out here so I can give you a can of @$$ whoopin, stomp a mud hole in your @$$ and walk it dry!

If three-man (The Shield) can’t manage The Wyatt man dem… what chance does John Cena have??? Him strong but him nah have the strength of 3 men, let alone 10 men!

STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF***A’S NAME!!! He ain’t leaving his room reading all them comics and sh!t!!!! You know what, listen to the wise words of DMX… I’m sick of you muthaf***az…

Dayuuuuum!!! In this contest between Christian and Sheamus, Christian give Sheamus three b!tch slap…. Sheamus turned and gave a menacing smile!!!! You know this dude loves to fight!!!!

“I should be the champion!!!” Grunts Christian… oh well… DEAL WITH IT MUTHAF***A!!!

Was that a seed planted???? Danny Bryan upset that he got teefed again, that he got out at Triple and said he wants to f**k him up at WrestleMania??? Triple is laughing off the idea! If you ask me, that sounds more satisfying than fighting for the title, think about it, fighting Triple Teef is LIKE FIGHTING FOR THE TITLE! Do you know what this could possibly mean? That YOUR SAVIOR CM Punk, should he come back next week in Chicago, could possibly be the third man and enter the title picture! I ain’t tryna gas you up or anything… I’m jussayin…

Big ups to WWE for acknowledging Tony Atlas and Rocky Johnson (hang on – Canadian born???) Word????? You learn something new everyday!

Ric Flair and Booker-T in the hiz-house!!!! And now Danny is out to fight off my hero Kane… to think they had a crazy @$$ bond this time last year!

HA! HA! Mike Cole & JAY-BEE has argued about Triple seemingly laughing off Danny’s challenge… this is great!!!! Talking about – WWE Network just drop – Triple is a business man… great counter by Cole – yeah – a business man who is quick to jump in the ring with the likes of Undertaker, Brock Lesnar, even Curtis Axel!!! But can’t test Danny???? I’m saying hmmmm!!!

Who is that idiot that is chanting ‘NO’ after Danny kicks down my Hero Kane??? He must be a Dolph Ziggler fan!!! (Sorry Andrew Theaker of the STC!)



LAWWWWDD!! Danny’s rage was all he needed to kick out of Kane’s chokeslam! How many muthaf***az can say they have done that???!!!! Next minute – Danny with the Dragon Knee – BLAOW!!!! In Kane’s mouth corner!!! Kane nah get up – is TRIPLE TEEF TAKING NOTES??!!!

Say what??? Triple TEEF is a COWARD??!!! He hid behind his wife’s skirt?? Lawwwwd Danny has put Triple on BLAST!!!! I approve this match! Danny Bryan Vs TRIPLE TEEF at WRESTLEMANIA XXX!!! I gotta send for the STC Danny theme tune here!

Now this should be interesting, Emma-Lution Vs Summer Rae – I have it on great authority that these two gyal can wrestle…. you know what they say about gyal that can wrestle….!!!

I cannot believe those muthaf***az are still chanting that cry-baby’s name… so f**k!n disrespectful…

…and to think… that they wanted Eva Marie to dye her hair blonde… she may have no particular set of skills but I respect her for coming different.

Emma has a super move called the ‘Emma-Lock’??!!!! Is that how she gets down in the streets??? This girl is getting popular FAST… AJ Lee – I’d take notes!

OH SNAP!!! The Uso brudda box down Road Dogg while he did his DX promo!!! I was enjoying that!!! Next minute the Uso Brudda beat them! That means they got another title shot…. don’t they???!!!!!

I know I said I didn’t care about the wrestling matches this week… I may have to take it back! Now we got Bray Wyatt Vs Roman Reigns one on one! Straight Violence awaits!!!!

Is it me or does my dude Roman Reigns look worried in the ring? Nah – he just focussed and determined to brukk up Bray’s blouse cup!

Maybe it should be Seth Rollins taking on Bray? I mean, Seth smashed it at the epic gang warfare match!!!

You see The Wyatt Man dem and The Shield agreed that they will leave their bredrin in the back… but I don’t recall Dean Ambrose receiving that message… and during this message the crowd still chant CM Punk??? I understand Randy Savage but CM Muthaf**k!n Punk??? That sh!t is starting to make me dislike Punk again word up!!! Now they chanting Undertaker??? Ok y’all might as well chant Jay-Bee, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole too! I know you want to!

Wait a minute – The Wyatts said they would stay back!!! TEEF!!!!!! The Shield had to come through quick time! The fans want a Part 2 of this ruckus! But it ain’t gonna happen at WrestleMania… sorry to disappoint you.

Oh my god…. BRRROCCCCK LESSSNAR… He’s here!!!! STC’s Lee Steadx is wishing, hoping, touching all the wood in the world, that he wants Brock to be in the title picture… if anything, the way I got it figured, that honor goes to CM Punk.. then guess what… he gets what he wants, to main event WrestleMania XXX in a triple threat and every muthaf***a is happy!!!

So you mean to tell me that Triple and Steph gave Brock an open contract to fight ANYBODY at WrestleMania??? UH OH!!!!! Brock wants to make history… I can’t lie, I am NERVOUS!!!

HOLY F**********************************K!!!! IT’S…….IT’S……….IT’S HIM!!!! He walked straight up to Brock Lesnar, took one look at the WrestleMania sign… Brock signed the contract, he pushed the pen in Taker’s chest…. MISTAKE! Taker stabbed the pen through Brock’s hand, signed the contract, then CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE- BLAOWWWWWWWW!!

Brock has conquered everything except one thing: Break the streak! But Undertaker has NEVER defeated Brock Lesnar….

The question is now – WHAT TITLE MATCH???? Does Philip Brooks have the answer???









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