Monday Night Raw #1088: March 31, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

30 Years ago on this day, Vincent Kennedy McMahon came up with a concept that celebrates Wrestling & Sports Entertainment… he called it WRESTLEMANIA.

In those 30 years, other wrestling promotions tried to test him. One came very close, but then Vince dropped the stunner on they @$$ and brought their competition.

30 Years Later, we are in an era of crying B!TCHES, who still think this wrestling sh!t is for THEM, and forget that they were once kids. But in some cases the fans were RIGHT. Batista winning the rumble? INCORRECT. They had to change that sh!t up quickly.

Not the Infamous Informer. For 30 years, I have NEVER took this wrestling sh!t seriously! I watch it for the glorified comedy show that it is, and if you have taken this wrestling sh!t for more than just entertainment…. YOU’RE THE ONE WITH THE PROBLEM!

Enough of that sh!t! I got my Galaxy Cookie Crumble! I got my chocolate pudding! THE FINAL RAW BEFORE THE BIG BIG WRESTLEMANIA! THIS IS THE SH!T! RAW #1088! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!! DROP THE MUTHAF***K!N BOMB ON EM!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

15,288 fans in attendance! Saluting the arrival of the TRUE MASTER! THE DON OF DONS! THE UNDERTAKER!!!

21 men have stepped up, and 21 men have got F**KED UP!!! What you gonna do Brock? Sink or Swim???

Brock Lesnar’s like: ‘Ha! You wanna play mind games with me??? I’m gonna play mind games with you muthaf***a! Make it look like I’m afraid of your @$$, then when my boy Heyman slips in the chair, I’m gonna clothesline your dead carcass! set you up, F5 – BLAOW!!!!! I f**ked you up with it before, I f**k you up again!!!’

STC WrestleMania 30 Poster

Big ups to Bertie for getting the win over my dude Big E, that’s it – give Bertie that hope that he could win the Battle Royal at WrestleMania… Ya Playin’ Ya’self Bertie! But, you can win, as long as you keep your head to the sky! That may not be a good idea if your head is looking at the lights at WrestleMania!

Ok when you have the crowd singing ‘The Whole World In His Hands’ with Bray Wyatt, that must f**k up John Cena for sure! Winning or losing don’t mean sh!t! Bray just wants to F**K UP CENA!!! If I was Cena, I’d beat Bray with his five moves, then RUN FOR THE HILLS! DON’T LOOK BACK!

Remember when Summer Rae took her fass self to Natalya’s house on some Kill Bill death list sh!t, now we gonna see a wrestling contest between the two!

What’s up with JAY-BEE? does he want a piece of Vickie Guerrero or something? Just don’t get doing the nasty on the tour bus!! Hold on – Summer Rae defeated Natalya? BACKSIDE!!!!! You mean to tell me Natalya let the girl come to her house, give her one slap across her face and then she lost???? Well I did warn the divas, Summer Rae is a good wrestler! Don’t underestimate the blondie!

Oh no! Here he comes! TRIPLE TEEEF! STEPHANIE McTEEF!!! VOCARE AD REGNUM!!!

I am so engrossed in this segment I can’t even talk sh!t right now!

Once again Triple put us all on blast about the flava of the month, and he has put them all down! And that promo video he put out…. with Steph McTeef narrating, OH LAWWD! Showing how he USED DA HAMMER and ‘buried’ all those guys… Yes I noticed that my boys Batista and Undertaker were not up in there…. because they are OFFICIAL BAD MAN!

Good to see Batista not being booed for once, maybe because Raw is in his hometown of Washington DC…makes a change but on a real, Batista has not learnt anything from wearing those hellish jeans!

Randall still wants Triple to back out of the Triple Threat.. The Grant says STOP BEING A PU$$Y AND BECOME THE VIPER and KICK PEOPLE IN THEIR HEAD!

It is straight DISRESPECT that The Usos are defending their tag team titles in the pre-show match… Uncle Rikishi must be offended. the Hardy Boyz, Dudley Boyz and Edge & Christian must be outraged, they set the bar, and this is the muthaf***!n thanks they get? HELLO!

OH SNAP!!!! Big ups to Mike Cole for putting JAY-BEE on blast! Jay-Bee said people was on that Fandango sh!t at WrestleMania last WEEK??? Mike Cole’s like – “WrestleMania last YEAR!” John Bradshaw Layfield: GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Hang on – in that 8-man tag team contest, did Los Matadores just did the old switch-a-roo Bella Twins super move???? I think they did! I bet The Bella Twins looked at that and thought ‘B!TCH PLEASE!!!’

Jerry Lawler says – “They are still doing the Fandango!!!” Er yeah because Triple reminded them what they were doing last year! FIX UP MAN!

I think Bray Wyatt has the most unorthodox fighting style I have ever seen! Cena can’tGRANT - BODY - Pstudy that wrestling match? Even Mankind had a set fighting style!

BLODCLART!!! THAT’S F**KED UP!!! The Wyatt Family, celebrating after they disposed of R-Truth and Xavier Woods, when it went all dark and sh!t, along came a fourth family member? Boiler suit and sheep mask and all, turns out to be John Cena! That is the first time I have seen the Wyatt Family freak out! They were scared of their own sh!t!!!! Bravo Cena! Well done! That was DON!

Dayum Naomi!!!! No wonder Jimmy Uso wanted to f**k you backstage! Look at your attire!!!! OHHHHHHHH! I WANNA F**K YOU RIGHT NOW!

It seems that Naomi’s eye has fully healed! Get her (AJ LEE) Naomi!! mash her up! And throw her into the LumberJills!

Naomi emerges victorious! But every diva in the ring at WrestleMania? With the title on the line? Suddenly I have figured out who’s gonna win this sh!t!

Great promo by Cena but it’s Renée Young interviewing you…. if only it was The Rock…. imagine that, The Wyatts threatening to destroy The Rock’s legacy and The Rock is more concerned about getting Renée to taste his strudel!!! Oh well…

Does the WWE App still work? obviously it does! According to the app, the people voted for roman Reigns to take on my hero Kane…. this is not fair to me! f**k that – I’m gonna send for my chocolate pudding…

What? Did Troy come through my house or something? I KNOW I brought chocolate pudding from the store… it changed to treacle!!!! Damn I was looking forward to eating ‘Naomi’… I’ll have to settle for ‘Tamina’… not that I’m complaining! I’m tucking in!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: JAY-BEE is dubbing this match the ‘Attitude Era Vs the Reality Era’ In Kane/Outlaws Vs The Shield???? So w’happen, is that a shot at the IWC too??? sounds like it to me!

You know it’s WrestleMania season when Rowdy Roddy Piper is in the house! So who’s the guest rude boy!

Well the Miz, Sheamus, Titus O Neill and Dolph Ziggler were quick to run their mouth weren’t they! here comes the rest of the crew, it’s RUCKUS in Pipers Pit! Here comes the 7ft2, 425lb of OFFICIAL BAD MAN!!! HAAA you thought I was gonna say monkey crap… didn’t you! Nah my name’s not Dwayne!

Punch Heath Slater through school-buses – P!!! Double chokeslam to Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler – BLAOW!!!!! I told y’all muthaf***az! Zack Ryder and Dolph Ziggler is WACK! so wack that Dolph Ziggler even said he is the greatest SPORTS ENTERTAINER, but YOU FOOLS regard him as a WRESTLER! HA! HA! You deluded fools!

GRANT BODY -P!!!

Well here’s your chance you wrestling fools! BOO THE HELL OUT OF THIS MAIN EVENT!!! Randall TEEF Orton! My Wu-Tang Friend Batista!!! No Disqualification match! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!

Hold up – what’s that Triple TEEF and Steph McTEEF doing out here??? Maybe they wanna close look! Maybe they wanna change the stipulation! Poor Jerry Lawler he wanted Steph to sit next to him! Yeah I know, I would love to feel on her leg too…

This match is actually great! Where are your boos now muthaf***az? Hang on – is that ‘This Is Awesome!’ I hear? Now it shows how fickle you b!tches are!!!

BACKSIDE!! DANNY BRYAN IS HERE!! RUSHING TRIPLE TEEF!!! Taking on everybody! Get outta there Stephanie! Danny beating down Triple with the kendo stick! That’s it Danny! LICK HIM! CLAP HIM! BEAT HIM!!!

BLODCLART!!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE: BDSIR NETWORK: WE GONNA LET EM KNOW… APRIL 6, JOHNNY SPICES, HOGSHEAD: WE’RE HERE BIATCH!!!

Daylight beams, night life schemes
This is my inception, I’m writing my dreams
Immortal view of a star doing what I’m born to do
I see the Blue Sky, see the Lord’s coming through

Ohh, in the sky we’ll find the light
Ohh, ain’t too high, we’ll shine at night
Now we in the skies, blue skies
And we going higher, that’s right

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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