What is it about Collecting things that makes you obsessed, and crazy, like a Cat with a Fresh Ball of Yarn! I don’t even know if that really makes them all that crazy, I do know that if you tickle a Ferret, watch out for your feet! Hands, finger tips, bags, poop. They get in your poop!
So it’s Wrestling’s Prime Time of the year, WrestleMania is upon us, Tonight, actually. And I know last week I said I won’t watch it… guess what… part of me thinks I just might. I can always skip it right? I don’t need to watch every second. But there is something special about WrestleMania 30, I remember WrestleMania 20 very well, despite the naffness of Chris Benoit winning the World Heavyweight Championship, it was a pretty decent show. Now pretty decent is what best sums up my opinion when I watch the “big” WWE events. They are never “good” to me anymore. I watched when The Rock came back… that sucked. And I was a huge fan of his growing up, and now I’m perfectly happy to agree with my friends Brother that Rock sucked, I was just too young to notice.
But WrestleMania 30 has Hulk Hogan back, it has the greats in the Hall of Fame like Jake Roberts, Scott Hall “Razor”, and The Ultimate Warrior. Funny thing is this, it bugs me that Hall is going in as Razor Romon, but then I love the idea of an nWo induction. But to be fair, Ric Flair is in it twice, no one has been inducted as a “Character” to this degree. But still, Hall looks phenomenal, and that is brilliant to see, same with Roberts. It also bugs me Lita is in the Hall of Fame, when let’s be honest, she was only popular because she was attached to The Hardyz, who aren’t even close to being in the Hall of Fame. But then maybe that’s because Lita is at the end of her career, Matt is doing… problems, and Jeff is having the best time of his Career over in TNA.
See I wrote a whole piece on The Ultimate Warrior when he was announced to be the first inductee into this year’s Hall of Fame, and just like I expected, he’s still a douche. That doesn’t mean I don’t think he deserves to be in the Hall of Fame, I think he does, his work as The Ultimate Warrior is untouchable, and fantastic, and it should be honoured and
remembered the right way. But I’ve only seen a minute and a bit of his HOF speech, and it’s already convoluted BS about how people tried to make him out to be something he isn’t. I genuinely think he has a screw loose, he can’t seem to see any of his actions as being Wrong. How many times does this guy need to get fired and black balled, and hated, before he realises that the problem is him. Idiot.
But the big news story is this, what kind of show does TNA put on to counter balance that massive weight of the Industries biggest spectacle. A good one, is the short answer… that I actually hoped would maybe be slightly better. But before I get carried away, Read on you mighty heroes, and let’s make an Impact!
So yes, this isn’t TNA’s PPV, they’re probably not going to go overboard with it. Next week Impact is airing live (Woooo!) so hopefully that will be better, it’s a whole different animal when it’s Live. And of course Sacrifice is closing out the Month (the day before my Birthday yay!) as TNA’s big April event.
Saying that, there is no way TNA wasn’t trying to put on the best show they could, and in that regard, they succeeded.
Impact kicked off with the Tables match ready to go, and anyone who reads my internet drivel will know that I LOVED IT! What better way to kick off a show, than with a Match, and not just any match, a Tables match. I just remember from my youth getting up for 10am to watch WWF Smackdown on SkyOne, and for the longest time the Hardyz kicked off the show with some amazing Tag-Team matches. But I remember for SmackDown X, I believe, they kicked off the show with a Tables match, I forget who was in it exactly, I think a safe bet would be the Dudleys, maybe E&C.
Anywho, TNA is best when it’s not all about Storylines and talking them out to you in Wrestling’s overdone mundane fashion. Though I do believe the worst of that was to make you annoyed…but if you want people to continue watching,…. then maybe not such a good idea.
I think the dynamic once again of a Hardy – Bully team up is great purely for their history alone. But then also, Bully did screw over Hardy when he turned on him and revealed himself the President of The Aces and Eights and took the World title… but then he didn’t seem to mind that so much.
Willow is awesome… I think if they could add a Reverb onto Jeff’s backstage promos, and use the same Camera effect, he would be awesome everywhere. But his entrance is great, his music is great, and I love his more unusual move set, albeit the majority is just Jeff’s usual carry on.
A couple of Poetry in Motions and a What’s Up later, everyone has gleaming from Nostalgia, Bully got the crowd chanting “Get the Tables” and everything was perfect. Awesome crowd, awesome performers.
To make it better, TNA’s golden nugget, Rockstar Spud himself, wheeled down to ringside in his Wheelchair, where he was met with a rather nasty looking Dropkick.
Willow then picked up Spud and carried him backstage, I was actually sort of wanting him to throw Spud off the stage through some Tables… is that too violent? I just sort of… craved it.
In the end Willow didn’t come back to help Bully, and the odds were against him as EC3 and Roode got the advantage. A Short Spine Buster through a Table later, and Roode and EC3 picked up the win.
But to satisfy everyone’s lust for violence, and as I said last week, I hate just having One Table be the deciding factor. So Roode then “Roode Bombed” (hate that name) Bully through another Table, and then set up a Third Table where he Splashed Bully through itfrom the Top Rope.
Bully vs. Roode – Tables Match at Sacrifice? Something Hardcore is coming, my wishful thinking instantly goes to a Two out of Three Falls – Wrestling Match / Tables Match / No Holds Barred? Something along those lines. Also Bully was great, and I don’t need to sing Roode’s praises any more…. do I? – Best all round legit Wrestler today, love him!
So I forgot that this was a Straight Jacket match, one of Wrestlings more dumb inventions. Like the Bull-Rope, or Four-Corners.. Bull-Rope? Where you need to Tap all Four Corners to Win whilst Tied to your opponent. I like them all the same, but they’re a little silly at times… Casket match.
They pushed the “Creepy Bastard” angle a little more, and I fear it’s starting to wear thin, I know I was an advocate of the Chant, but I feel TNA is now just editing it in to get it going. More power to them, it’s still awesome, just don’t force it.
To say that Shaw is the creepy one, the Camera then Cut to this guy in the crowd, who I think takes the prize?
Anderson and Shaw did the best they could, but I am starting to feel Anderson is wearing thin again, this is what I was afraid of. Anderson is great, but his best run was with The Aces and Eights, where he didn’t need to be “Mr. Anderson” and do the whole Mic intro thing. He did it tonight, but rushed, and it’s like he just can’t be bothered to go through the Motions … all the time. And I don’t think he should, he should save it for special occasions. Maybe a heel turn is in need, or something that puts him on a different level. Though I do feel the pairing between he and Shaw is a good match.
In the end Shaw locked on his Choke Hold and choked out Anderson, and awkwardly put him in the Straight Jacket for the win. Also Shaw had a busted nose… which he then rubbed in Andersons hair.. so that’s nice.
Okay, so let’s jump right into the depth with this one. This is a bit of Salt and Pepper, Good and Bad. Though I’m actually more of a Pepper fan than Salt, so maybe that makes me a
“bad guy”…. like Walt Disney… despite the obvious similarities to Walt and Salt.
A New T-Shirt Idea!
So let’s go the Good News First…. that’s the Salt News for those keeping up at home… or no one.
The good news is that we have Tigre Uno vs. Sanada in a Best of 3 Series! Again, any long time readers will no doubt have heard me prattle on about how I long for another “Best of” series, I would have preferred Best of 5, but I’m not going to let that ruin my enjoyment… currently.
The Bad News, or Pepper News, is just where the hell is Austin Aries?
Sanada took the belt from Aries, after Aries spent how long winning it? He drops the belt to him to put over the Wrestle1 event. Got it. Am I supposed to expect Aries not to cash in his Rematch? Or even try and win it back. This is Aries’ ticket to the Main Events at Destination X, a mere matter of 2 Months away. And he’s just sitting back, letting Tigre Uno, a new comer, who hasn’t done anything to deserve a Number One Contenders shot, outside of the fact that these will make good matches.
AUSTIN ARIES DAMN IT!
Someone else took offense at this, and it was the Returning Kenny King- King of the Night! So King is back being slightly more egotistical than he was prior. Which is cool, I like it, but at the same time, I don’t buy it. I think you can tell he’s “working at it” rather than that’s who he is. But I love Kenny King, hell of a Wrestler.
He blabbed on about being the biggest star, returning to Impact, and he showed up last week and MVP didn’t let him on the show, stating he can get on the show this week, but apparently that’s not the case either, so really MVP’s the Ultimate Warrior in this case…
Douche.. if you didn’t connect the dots.
Anyway, MVP came out to correct the problem, and in the end Kenny talked himself into an “Exhibition” match with MVP later on.
Also props to King’s comment of Back Flipping out of his Mother’s womb, no doubt the Doctor met that with a High Five.
Though of course, we all Remember his last attempted “Show Off” Back flip right?
Tigre and Sanada put on a great match too, though a little over shadowed by the set up of King vs. MVP, which also whilst on the topic, was a great way to set up the match.
There is no doubt that Uno and Sanada are close to the top of their chosen Division, I would say at the top.. but again… Austin Aries.
I feel that Uno could quite easily take the Belt, which would lead to Great Muta being dissapointed in Sanada, and maybe they will have a match at Slammiversary.. just a guess, and then maybe Sanada will stay with Impact, or more likely go back to Japan. I hope to see him stay with Impact.
Uno on the other hand might end up in the Cross Hairs of a returning and hungry Austin Aries… and or Kenny King. On to the road to Destination X, I also wouldn’t count out Samoa Joe hunting down the Gold for one last shot at Magnus.
Tigre Uno attempted a Leap / Split Leg Moonsault which was counted by Sanada, who followed it up with a perfect and impressive Double Underhook Back Suplex into a Bridge for the Win.
The Story of Knux continues… I fail to see how cementing his life around his Fathers failed dream of a Circus… Fair, is going to lead to Knux being a formidable Wrestler. But who knows… Clown Gang.
How good is it to have The Beautiful People back, really good is the correct answer! Though I can’t say I was a huge fan of the brightly coloured fluffy attire. Which Angelina actually wore better than Velvet. That’s right, I’m a Fashion Critic now.
Brittany approached Madison earlier on in the night to ask to be her Partner, which Madison refused, not wanting her involved with Angelina and Velvet, but she worked her way in anyway… in a rather creepy fashion. Perhaps Shaw is after the wrong girl?
Still, Brittany tagged herself in, and then lost the match thanks to the “Make-Over” and The Beautiful People won.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Brittany joins up with them… Just saying. Let’s hope Lacey Von Erich doesn’t come back though… she was awful.
So the rules of this Match are a little scarce, but it’s just to “spar” pretty much. Wrestle it out, show what you got, but no punching or kicking, or body slams etc. Just basic, old school, chain Wrestling. And it was very entertaining. Both MVP and King are impressive, I’d give the slight edge to King.
But in the end of course they ended up Brawling, and the match gets thrown out. Security come down to break it up and King takes one last shot at MVP before making his exit.
Then backstage MVP attacked King which was Broken up by The Wolves, trying to get MVP to see sense in his actions.
Also the Wolves were “supposed” to Wrestle the Bromans on this show for the Tag-Team Championships, but Jesse is “injured” so it all works out nicely for promotion for next week, which I wouldn’t be surprised to see The Wolves take the belts. Or get screwed, and then Take the belts at Sacrifice. More likely they will win and defend the belts at Sacrifice, maybe in a Three-Way?
So this is the big one, it’s been building and last week was great to set it up.
Earlier on in the night we saw that Magnus had bought Abyss a suit, where Magnus claimed “we’ve never seen him like this before”… except for over a year as Joseph Park.. but I get his meaning.
Magnus then told him he loves him and give him a big cuddle.
To be fair, I actually expected a little more out of this match. There was nothing wrong with it,
and it ended the safe way, like most would expect. But there were very little high spots, if any.
A good old fashioned all hell breaks loose type of match would have been awesome. A good few shots with the Steel Steps, some throwing into the Guard Rails, maybe even EY and Abyss brawling through the Crowd, or some action on the Ramp. Off the ramp? Something like that to break it up, and put some sense of emergency in Magnus losing his belt.
As it happened, Abyss did everything Magnus wanted, Joe had a very mild outing, and EY though impressive, took the brunt of the abuse. Abyss dropped EY with the Blackhole Slam, and as he would have normally instincively gone for the Cover, Magus stopped him from doing so. Told him he loved him once more, dropped a Top Rope Elbow Drop and retained his Championship.
Not sure where things go from here, but I for one don’t want Samoa Joe in the picture anymore. He’s been at the top for the last Month and a Bit, and it’s boring now. I don’t want him to come out and whine anymore.
To close out the show however was a little vignette promoting next week’s Impact, and the Return of Dixie Carter! So that should be good… though could also be… not good?
Over all though Impact was yet another great show, packed full of Wrestling, and that’s what you want!
Till next week! Maybe check out WrestleMania for… nah, screw it. Probably sucks.