The Jobber Blogger #102 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING 24/4/14



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It just dawned on me that I chose the Wonderful 101 as a Header for my Blog Post last week, rather than the infamously more, 101 Dalmatians. I came to this realisation by thinking about the fact that I needed something for 102… like 102 Dalmatians. Which I’ve also never seen.

I’ve seen the first one, I meant I haven’t played the Wonderful 101. Long story short, as it is wide and thin. Also Brief. Impact hailed from… some place this week, and it was yet again a lovely mixture of things! Some good Wrestling, some weird Segments, and for a go-home show (the last show before Sacrifice) it did a pretty good job of setting the table.

Not like the crazy Victorians and the 102 items of their cutlery ensemble-monstrosity they deemed “essential”.

Impact Wrestling Logo

Impact Wrestling – 24/4/14

Magnus kicked off Impact, yay for talking segments! : slow clap : It’s a little weird that this is the first time we’ve seen Magnus since he lost The World Championship two weeks ago, even stranger given the fact the Rematch is taking place as Sacrifice’s Main Event.

But alas, it wasn’t Eric Young Magnus wanted to chew out, but his old Buddy, old Pal, Abyss. Abyss obviously was hired by Magnus to have his back, and by Magnus logic, that’s also a relevant form of logic, like the over-used “Magnus Rules”. Abyss’ contract was with him, and not TNA, and therefore MVP couldn’t fire Abyss even if he did get involved.

Magnus Logical

When did Abyss not have a TNA contract?

Who cares, what is important is that Magnus threatened Abyss with the Turnbuckle he held in his hand. Which was pretty neat, never actually seen what the Hook / Rope holder part looks like in its full glory. He also referred to it as Mr. Turnbuckle, which took off as a Chant, which makes me so very happy!

Quick side note, Magnus goes crazy and draws a face on Mr. Turnbuckle and takes him everywhere with him…. I should write the show.

Mr Turnbuckle

Think of the T-Shirts!

I am a Merchandising machine! Often called a Printer.

Long story brief, (there’s a throw back! Ooooh yeah! Snailed It!” Anywho, Magnus declared Abyss “Fired” from Magnus Enterprises, yes the very same Enterprises that contains both Magnus Logic and Magnus Rules…

Magnus Enterprises

This just writes itself.

So with Abyss now fired from Magnus, and not employed, he can’t “touch” Magnus without a lawsuit, so of course MVP makes the match between them both, and if Abyss wins, he gets a Full-Time contract. Okay it bugs me that for some reason he’s not on the Roster… when he most clearly is. Wrestling gibberish crap!

Or of course the more commonly placed phrase


Kurt Angle vs. Spud

EC3 gave Spud the pep talk as per usual, and how lovely it was… as per usual. We’ve seen Spud referred to as the Lion, the Tigre, the Hunter, but today, he was going to be the Giselle!

Spud Animals

Though even a Giselle would come across more fearsome than Kurt Angle’s moniker of The Machine!

Kurt Machine

Should of specified what type of Machine

I should write this show.

I don’t think Angle is back to full health yet from his recent surgery, hence the brace, and hence the fact that he and Spud didn’t really do too much. Though Angle is of course impressive, or as impressive as continually injuring yourself can be.

Angle quickly picked up the win over Spud, in what I think was a Tap-Out victory. My attention spam wondered off as my new batch of Marvel Mascot Figures arrived!

Marvel Mascots

EC3 then jumped Angle straight after the Bell and Willow came down to help out. And so, Willow and Angle vs. EC3 and Spud at Sacrifice is now a Thing. Again, I think it adds a good match, kills two feuds with one Match, and gives Angle room to recuperate.

Though I do wish Willow wasn’t as “buddy buddy” and was violent toward Angle too, and everyone.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

King yet again was getting on MVP’s nerves as he sat waiting in MVP’s office, trying to once again get on the show. And in true Wrestling naffness, MVP said he had a “Big opponent” for him. I do find it funny that Lashley made a cool return, and has barely been seen since.

I almost forgot he was on the Roster. Though he has a pretty decent Theme, and he can actually Wrestle, and he’s very damn good at it. He’s like a talented credible Rob Terry.

Lashley train

This was actually a decent matchup between both King and Lashley, I mean that in the terms of the pairing between them both together in the ring. The match itself was excellent, and I’d like to see them go at it without the silly “ending”.

Also it bugged me a little that the Ref was stopping Lashley’s strikes. I get that it’s “not in the rules”, but it sticks out so much when a Ref does something which they never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever do in any other match. It makes it blatantly obvious where the match is going.

Still, something I’ve never seen before was King jumping for a Over-Head neckbreaker from the second Rope I think, possibly the top-rope. Yet he was caught, and Full-Stop caught by Lashley in his delayed Suplex. Lashley didn’t even Stumble, he just Caught him, held him, walked with him, dropped him. Fantastic move.

King then rolled out the Ring and took a Count-out Loss. So hoping these two lock horns again soon.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This was my most anticipated match of the night, and it was great. It was one of the matches you just watch, and make very little notes. Which goes into my file of “just watch it”.

It perhaps wasn’t the best these two can do, but I am fully sure it’s just a taster to whet one’s appetite.

It’s been too long without Aries on TV, or just without Aries. I don’t see him rising to the Top of the Roster anytime soon either, which is a shame. Though EY should easily have a decent Run, and if he doesn’t drop the belt to Storm, then it should go to Aries, without it being all “Storyline” rubbish, just Aries vs. Young – and have a True, Fantastic Wrestling match, where Aries would take the gold no doubt.

I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to Destination X, I want the X-Division Championship to become relevant and important, and having all of these top guys gunning for that Belt so they can cash it in, that’s something I can’t wait for.

Aries attempted his 450 Splash, missed MVP who managed to roll out the way and connected with his Yakuza kick for the Win.

James Storm and Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray and Gunner

Here is something that worries me, Tenay kept referring to Bully and Gunner as this “New Team”. The title “New Team” scares the hell out of me. I don’t want another Throw-Together Team. Specially of developed Stars. Aries and Roode, worked. But Gunner and Bully, not a chance. You don’t spend time putting over Gunner to build him as a Top Talent, then throw him into the murky Tag-Team waters with Bully Ray. Bully Ray should not be in any other team. It’s just a No-Go territory.

So I hope it’s just a random / here and there pairing, rather than them going forward as Tag-Team Contenders.

And on the flip side, this is my problem with Storm and Roode. I like most everyone else would love a Beer Money reunion. And currently they are both at least on talking terms, so it could work. They always said they never liked each other, but respected each other and worked brilliantly together. They can play on that success more than ever now. So if that’s the direction they chose, then awesome.

But what I want is simple. Eric Young should remain World Champion, and he’s now the Top Face in the Company. The Top Heel is now James Storm. I don’t care how anyone else looks at it, yes Magnus is in the Main Events but Magnus is not a convincing “Bad Guy”.

James Storm is a “Bad Guy”. He will Smash a Beer Bottle over your Dad’s head. He’s “Not Sorry” anymore. Not to mention his new Theme and Look cement that darker persona. He’s the kind of Heel you want in the Main Events, least who I want. He’s the kind of guy who will walk up to you and Punch you in the Mouth and never back down. Magnus will walk away from fights, run away from Problems. Storm currently is the Heel who doesn’t back down, doesn’t run away and will bring the fight to you… and Win. He’s who I want in the Main Event, he’s the perfect counter Balance to Eric Young. Both TNA originals.

And if they’re not going to do that…then Beer Money. But Storm should be in the Main Events.

It seems the fact that Gunner likes to use the Diving Head-Butt is reason enough to pair him with Bully. The whole What’s-Up motion later and Gunner is setting up Roode on a Table outside. Bully does a horribly timed Elbow Drop from the Apron and puts himself through the Table.

Gunner drops Roode with the Hanger 18 only to turn around to a vicious Last-Call Super-Kick from Storm who picks up the Win.

Bully and Roode do battle at Sacrifice in a Tables Match, which I hope Roode wins. Though there’s a good chance he won’t.

Storm and Gunner do battle in an I-Quit match at Sacrifice, where again, I hope Storm wins. I feel like he won’t, but I really hope he does. If he does, then it’s Main Events.

Mr. Anderson took a Road Trip to Samuel Shaw’s house, where upon Arrival found a rather forward and flirty Red Headed Mrs Shaw called Christy.

Anderson then had a nosey around in Samuel’s bedroom in the basement, which didn’t look abnormal in the slightest, just a normal Bedroom. Only it was in the “basement”. I thought it looked nice. I don’t get what was weird about it.

Anyway, Samuel turned up home and attacked Anderson, in a very “Paranormal Activity” type of way the Camera man ran up stairs to find Mrs Shaw, followed by heavy footsteps coming from behind. Which was Samuel, a bit bloodied and battered who then cuddled his Mum, and we don’t know where Anderson is.

Aside from in the basement. I like the idea… see where it goes.

In the same kind of madness, we saw what I guess was the final Knux video. Where he is sat with people watching this girl dance with Fire. Then they both decide they won’t leave each other’s side again. And Knux tells her he has to come back to Impact Wrestling, and so she says she is going with him.

So really… what was the point. Put the events together, Knux misses his old Sweetheart, travels home to find her. He finds her, she’s pissed because he left and his Fathers Fair is ruined from a flood. Knux reconnects a relationship with her and his Father, both pissed he left and that his life is here with them. He decides to stay and help clean up the mess from the flood, but then leaves back to Wrestling, taking her with him away from his Father’s struggling profession.


I don’t understand how any of this makes any sense with regards to Knux in the future. What would have been cool is if we saw his Bikes, or Aces and Eights cut etc, and mentions of how he left with the Gang, and how that effected his Family. That would have been neat, but no mention of it. He was in a Car too.

I should Write this show. – Also the music in these segments are awesome!

The Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim and Madison Rayne

Earlier on in the night The Beautiful People claimed they were going to give Madison a much needed “make-over”. Madison then hit the ring calling them both out. Blah blah blah, Madison apologised, then attacked them, they beat her up, Brittany tried to help, got her ass kicked, then they put the Bag with Angelina’s face on it, on Madison.

Not much of a Makeover. Though it does make me think that they should move their talents to other parts of the World too, not just Women in TNA.

Make Over Spidey

Gail Kim then confronted Madison claiming that although they aren’t friends anymore, Gail isn’t a fan of what The Beautiful People are doing to the Knockouts Division, and thus, they joined forces.

Also Brittany apparently suffered a “Concussion”, and she’s doing this weird Stalker thing with Madison, ala Mickie James / Trish Stratus.

It was a shame that the Crowd were rather quiet for the duration of the show, but unfortunately if you Tape multiple shows back to back, it does start to wear a little thin.

Either way, the match was really good, which is something awesome about TNA. Not to mention Velvet is far better as a Heel. And I can’t tell you how happy I am Angelina is back!

Madison Speared Velvet but Angelina rolled up Madison from behind straight after, holding the “trunks” for a 3-Count Victory.

There was this weird Video of being down in the Drains, with Water pouring in and Running rats above. It didn’t last long nor did it develop to anything. So no idea if that was part of the show or not. I shall try and find out and include a Video Link if I do.

Either way, it was pretty cool, I like weird things, especially if it means new Wrestlers… specially Weird ones.

Although I find nothing relevant to it…. o.O so maybe I imagined it.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young joined Taz and Tenay on commentary, which is the first time we’ve seen the World Champion all show. Which kind of sucks, I think the World Champ needs to used far more. Just something to keep him fresh, else they quickly become insignificant.

Magnus and Abyss didn’t Wrestle for very long before Magnus just threw it out with a blatant Low-Blow on Abyss to counter the Chokeslam. This of course went down as a DQ, so technically Abyss won, whether that means he gets back on the TNA Roster Full-Time is unknown.. given that he never left the Roster! Arghh madness!

Magnus then went crazy with a Steel Chair, EY ran in to stop Magnus, but did no good. As Magnus then just beat down on both EY and Abyss with the Chair.

I actually really like that as an ending, though it is a little bit like Triple H beating down Daniel Bryan before Mania. But who’s paying attention… o.O

TNA: Sacrifice is Live Tonight in the US, and Wednesday in the UK!

I hope to have my Write-Up done by Wednesday for all you Jobber Blogger fans!

But to get you interested, this is how the Card looks!

Mr. Anderson vs. Samuel Shaw

The Wolves vs. The Bromans – (handicap 3 on 2) – World Tag-Team Championships

Kurt Angle and Willow vs. EC3 and Spud

Gunner vs. Storm – I Quit Match

Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray – Tables Match

Angelina Love vs. Madison Rayne – Knockouts Championship

Sanada vs. Tigre Uno – Best of x3 – Final Match – X-Division Championship

Eric Young vs. Magnus – World Heavyweight Championship

My picks are:

Shaw win

The Wolves win

Kurt Angle and Willow win

Gunner win

Roode win

Angelina Love win

Sanada win

Eric Young win

For you long-time readers out there, I have changed my opinions of who might Win. Let’s see if I’m right!

Till then!

Dan Wilkinson