The Jobber Blogger #107 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 22/5/14

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The Jobber Blogger

This might be a first, it is currently 1:42am, and I am settling in for Writing up The Jobber Blogger. Yes, it’s late, I know. I do like the routine of Writing this up by Sunday at the latest and then it’s ready to go as soon as Impact airs in the UK. Though for those unaware, it is Half Term time…. in May. When the hell did this happen? I don’t remember ever having so much time off when I was in school. They’ve only just gone back from Easter! Weeks, that’s all it’s been and now the bloody kids are off again and I have to work more! Though in turn they are keeping me employed by actually…. turning up and creating business. Without the holidays my work would be rather quiet indeed!

And no, it’s not a camp, or weird Children related industries. It’s a Cinema, sure I’ve mentioned that before. Who cares.

Impact is same old same old this week, and no that’s not a “bad” thing…. it’s just not a great thing.

It’s different enough to feel different, and that is a good thing. Impact Wrestling

TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 22/5/14

One would hope that The Jobber Blogger will be up on time next week, but hey, not enough of you send this around for it to be a job! That’s a joke… I don’t think I can get paid by ranting about Wrestling shows…. what’s that, you can?

Well I’m probably not at “that” level, I like things my way, and to hell with talking about the show and reviewing the show and giving things Ratings. Stupid, irrelevant, pointless. Opinions! That’s what matters, mine isn’t better than yours, but I wrote my down, so suck it.

One thing TNA has been doing lately to piss me off, is the use of Kazarian. It seems it’s becoming a tradition to send out your Stars the worst possible way. AJ Styles, big title push, kick him off the show, bring him back, screw him over. Sting, sent out in a equally humiliating manor. Kurt Angle, injured at every step. And now, Kazarian, who had to job to Knux, run around Crazy Steve, and this week, the show kicked off with MVP, Lashley and King arriving. Kaz was on the phone with a “hang on Chris” which was a nice little touch, then he got beat up by Kenny King. Was that Kazarian’s last ever bit of work for TNA, getting beaten up for looking at a black guy. I’m going to miss Bad Influence, and hey, I’m not stranger to Ring of Honour, but we already know Christopher Daniels is going back with a “mystery” tag partner, who we all guess is Kazarian, so if they both turn up, I’m going to watch….. probably.

So MVP, Lashley and King kick off Impact, I do wish they didn’t push this little opening. They didn’t really explain any motivations for their “Heel turn” aside from just – Money, Power, Respect.

I don’t think having each of them take it in turn to talk about themselves and why they did what they did really achieved anything. But hey, been there done that storyline, why make anything else different?

I like a good Heel turn as much as the next guy, but what I like better is when it doesn’t need to be for reasons, that require said individual to walk out in the opening of the next show and explain why he isn’t a sell out.

Lots of ass-kissing, visionary this, money power that, a mention of “Dat Paper” later and The Wolves come out to confront MVP.

Now if The Wolves were aligned would have been cool, but then of course it would be better if they were black. Again, not in a racist manor, but I think that’s cool, I like that.

The Wolves did the usual “we looked up to you”, thankfully a good mention of “once they were like brothers” was not in the script. Though it was mentioned later on between Davey and Eddie themselves, don’t think I didn’t spot that, TNA.

MVP called Davey, Eddie, not sure if that was a joke or not, or just a plain human error… I chuckled a little, though if it was the other way round and Davey called MVP, Kenny by accident.. well that’s just a whole different level of BooBoo.

Lashley then Speared Eddie in the ring, and MVP walked Davey to the edge of the Ramp where Lashley speared Davey off the Ramp through a Table on the floor. Awesome way to start the show, aside from the inane chit chat, a good bit of Stage Throwing does wonders for my Wrestling appetite. Dat Paper

Just when you think you’re done with the Opening Dialogue of the show, Eric Young came out to talk about MVP. So yay, that happened! And then straight away MVP, Lashley and King are back out. It’s not Total Nonstop Promo, level’s of bad and annoying. But Wrestling damn it. You have no idea how good a Wrestling Match is to kick off Impact. Start the show with The Menagerie, that would be neat.

Anyway, good ol’ respectable Champ Eric Young jumped to the name calling game, Scumbag, Sell-out, words thrown around. Who cares! Why do you need to put names on people you don’t like. Surely calling them out to call them names is as childish as rolling on the floor trying to punch each other… oh wait.

They all get a fight, Austin Aries runs out to EY’s aid, set up matches for later. Couldn’t they have done this before? Why didn’t EY or Aries help out poor Davey. Meh, whatever.

Angelina Love vs. Brittany – Knockouts Championship – Open Challenge

Angelina offered out this Open Challenge, which is only for those who have never held the Knockouts Championship before. Of course this was played as Angelina “dodging” the competition. This also annoys me. What is it, a Month or so since The Beautiful People reformed, Angelina came back strong, not taking any crap, said it straight as it is. Took the fight to Madison, beat her up, took the Belt from her, she was dominating the Division, and now she’s scared of everyone, in how many weeks?

Why is it that she’s running away from Gail, and Gail is no longer backing down from anyone, Gail has been backing out of fights for years. I get it, Wrestling, good guy, bad guy. But it doesn’t make sense, and I don’t like it.

I want a Champion who is a Heel, who is dominant, and won’t run, won’t budge, and kicks ass. James Storm – World Champ, I want it.

As much as this might “irk” me a little, there is however a silver lining, a word that allows the complete 180. This does suck, Velvet a little help BUTT

Indeed, this does suck, But, Velvet did point at her rear whilst saying the Word but. I don’t know why, but I’m not afraid to admit that I “lol’d” a little.

So yes, Brittany accepted the Open Challenge (who else is there…. really, who is there?) though perhaps if it happens again, then Taryn Terrell might turn up, so if Angelina does defeat Gail, then my money is on that return.

Regardless! Distraction from Velvet, Angelina wins etc etc. With her almost losing to Brittany, but thanks to Velvet’s distraction didn’t, again, I get it, good guy, bad guy, etc, but really? butt really

They put some lipstick on Brittany, which I thought was a nice gesture, bag on the head, Gail out, fight. Usual stuff. Angelina vs. Gail at Slammiversary? Angelina better win.
Austin Aries vs. MVP

So this happened, a Rematch from the first time they fought. So it seems Aries is back currently. I don’t know who long for, but just having him on TV makes the world of difference. Oh how I’ve missed Austin Aries. I do think if things carry on the way they are, then Destination X could be very interesting for Aries.

Though I’m probably wrong.

As much as I’d love to say this match was great and Aries is back on point… it really wasn’t that special. The usual match, Aries throws around MVP, because he’s a bad guy now, so he gets beat up more, it’s a conscience thing. One might even say Con-Science. But also probably not.

Aries was in control went to hit his 450 Splash, King and Lashley both came out to attack Aries. EY then back out to help.

Dixie then turned up with EC3, and finally confronted MVP, offering a delightful question of “what I can do for you”. Which is much better, Dixie wanting a united front between her and MVP. Though it could turn out to be a suckered MVP in and then take over once more. I don’t know anymore.

Bully wasted no time in going after Dixie, but it was King, Lashley and MVP who beat Bully down, with EC3 putting Bully through a Table.
Magnus (w/Bram) vs. Willow – Falls Count Anywhere

I do feel that this might boil over to Magnus vs. Bram, and suddenly I’m rooting for Magnus. When did this happen. Willow sucks at this point. He’s just Jeff Hardy, being an idiot, getting thrown around whilst he screams like a woman. There’s a phrase for it…. looked good on paper

Bram Flakes wasted no time in shouting at Magnus to hit Willow in the head with the, crow pliers, thing. “Cave his head in!” in a lovely British tone, reminds me of the recent elections.

Alas, Magnus swung for the gut, but wouldn’t and couldn’t bring himself to hit Willow in the head, which is a good thing. And then Magnus lost, once again doing the right thing, and paying the consequences… he’s like Spider-Man.

Sort of.

Spider Magnus Eddie Edwards makes his way back after being with Davey in the “hospital”. He then calls out MVP, Lashley or King for a fight, King answers and they brawl.

I actually like King a lot in this position. I’ve always been a big fan of his, but he’s struggled to find his place. Even being a bad guy recently didn’t quite feel right, but him being a hot headed, slightly unhinged guy running with the power. I like it. I even like his silly cackle, laughing at people who get injured. Also this segment does a lot to put over Edwards, another good move to balance out the playing field between he and Davey.

Anderson and Storm met in a Bar to compete in a Drinking Contest. Anderson drank Water whilst Storm got drunk, then Anderson took advantage and beat him up. He didn’t take advantage and put the “moves” on Storm, like most people would in that position. o.O I’m not quite sure what I admitted to in that sentence.

Storm love

Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley

Main Event time and EY took to battle against Lashley. One thing I can say, Lashley = Impressive.

The more I see him in action, the more I like him. I’m glad he’s a big part of this puzzle, and it can’t do anything to hurt him going forward.

Pretty much the same outcome as MVP vs. Aries, only Brian Hebner was threatened to “do the right thing” by MVP before the match.

EY hit the Piledriver, King and MVP out on the attack. Lashley hits the Spear, and Powerslam, Hebner doesn’t DQ and Lashley pins the Champ.

Aries then comes back to EY’s aid with a Kendo Stick, though it didn’t phase Lashley, and MVP, King and Lashley all stood tall to close the show.

So nothing new, but I do like this Stable of MVP, King and Lashley. I actually hope it gets added to.

I do think Bobby Roode and or Abyss will come back to even the odds soon enough.

This might just be “sailing” along, but it’s not boring. I do feel MVP, King and Lashley are legit enough to sell this rise to Power better than the likes of The Aces and Eights and especially Immortal.

I hope TNA don’t look at “correcting” this for Bound for Glory, to yet another temporary power storyline leading into more of the same in 2015. Sick of it now, no matter who is in charge.

Till then,

Dan Wilkinson

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