Monday Night Raw #1097: June 2, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

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I figured out why wrestling idiots said Payback was rubbish… because you didn’t turn up. Hopefully Philip Brooks, they will finally leave you alone.

Where are your CM Punk memes now Ian Cooper?! How do you like your hero now Ash Blick? Even Nicola Box is ashamed, and removed the ‘CM Punk’ from her name…

When will you fools learn that you cannot test the lyrical manifestations of the Infamous Informer???!!! RAW #1097, HOLD DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFace it Evolution! You Evolved back in 2005. IT’S OVER FOR YOU! The Shield are far too strong! I think all three should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion straight away! If Danny can’t fight, give the belt to the Shield!!! BELIEVE IN THOSE OFFICIAL BAD MANS! TWICE IN A ROW MUTHAF***A!

Oh my god look at Triple’s eye!!!! BLODCLART!!!

What??? I thought you said the rivalry dun at Payback Triple? Oh for f**k sake fans CM Punk is DUN! Don’t chant his name – he loves hockey now.

OH SNAP!!!! First Brie Bella, now Batista just quit the WWE as well??? He can’t do that!!!(Oh I think you’ll find he can Grant… he gotta promote his Guardians of the Galaxy film!!!) Evolution D-U-N – DUN!!!!!

Question – why the f**k is Cesaro walking like that??? Him look like he’s constipated and sh!t!!!!

Question #2 – why aren’t the fans now chanting Batista??? He quit in Triple’s face…. chant his name then! Where’s all your memes? I bet you will all be queuing up at the cinema to see his film…. YOU DUMB RARSE!

So in this team of RVD & Sheamus Vs Cesaro and Barrett, RVD gets the pin on Barrett… does that mean RVD gets another shot at the I.C. title??? I have to ask these things because the wrestling fans need to know these things!!!!

Question #3 – why aren’t you chanting Brie Bella??? Or should I say Brianna Danielson? She quit in Stephanie’s face, and Yes! Yes! Yes! her way out of the building! Don’t you want her to come back???

Look what they have done to Damien Sandow…this is a heartbreak… please creative let this lead to somewhere… what happened to his robe, and telling muthaf***az SILENCE! And his cart-wheel?

WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW!!! Well I’m glad he’s in this segment and not tryna stop Rusev because I fear that’s where that storyline is going…

PPPPPPPPP!!! Thank you Big Show! He just punched Sandow through school-buses like Froch did to Groves!

All you gotta do is BOLIEVE! He goes up against Kofi Kingston. Question #4: Where’s my hero Kane to interrupt the proceedings????

Oh dear! the crowd chanting BOring!!!!! They can’t do that!!!!! (Er yes they can Grant, They paid their money!)

OH NO! Stephanie is going to the ring to make an announcement about the WWE GRANT - BODY - PWorld Heavyweight Championship??? Yo Danny! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! DON’T LOOK BACK!!!

Oh no Batista this is what you may want to hear! And you quit?

Is that how it goes down in the streets? If Danny can fight by the end of this month, he has to fight Kane in a stretcher match? No Steph! Make it an ambulance match! If not then the Money in the Bank match will have both titles hung in the air??? What’s Cena doing out here? You not the face of the company any more muthaf***a!!!

So he drops real talk on Stephanie’s fine @$$ and on top talks about her t!tt!£$… she sets my hero Kane on him!!! Embrace the hate John!!!! Hopefully Kane will start going after Nikki Bella! DO IT KANE!! GET DEM T!TT!£$!!!

Well thank you very much Los Matodores and that bullsh!t 3MB… I went to make my pudding because you jabronies were on and look what you make me do, trip up on the wire and accidentally lock off the laptop… not only that, I missed my girl Alicia Fox… I don’t know what the f**k she did so I’m gonna play this footage right here… apparently she was cussing bad words in Germany…. can she do that??? That is Question 6!

You think I’m interested in that Adam Rose/Wack Swagger match??? F**k that I’m watching this video!

Fans – STOP CHANTING THAT MUTHAF**!NG CM PUNK! HE DOESN’T GIVE A FLYING F**K ABOUT YOU! Brie Bella and Batista does! CHANT THEIR NAMES! I swear this CM Punk thing is getting me angry star! IT’S F**KING OVER! STOP BEING SO F**K!NG RETARDED! WHEN WILL YOU GET IT THROUGH YOUR JEREMY KYLE THICK SKULLS??? That’s Question 7!!!

Oh dear…. The Wyatt man dem are here… but there is an empty rocking chair… oh dear! Cena what you done to Bray??? YOU KILLED HIM??!!! That’s Question 8!

Talking of chairs, what do you think of this special chair that I’m making for Ian Cooper? STC’s #1 CM Punk fan who got fooled the most? That’s Question 9!

SAW Get In The Chair

PUSH HARD THOUGH IAN!!!!

Oh man these Wyatt mans do not ramp! They seek vengeance… and defeated the USOs… can you imagine Harper & Rowan as tag team champions? It would be all over for the tag team division!

Bertie Vs Ziggler in a Money In The Bank qualifying match? BACKING BERTIE HERE! COME ON BERTIE!

That’s it crowd, chant for Ziggler… he is there fighting… he cares about you… I don’t care about him personally, but he CARES!

YES!!!! That’s a tap out!!! Ziggler nah go nowhere!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! BERTIE ADVANCES!!!! YES!

Ok… can Rybaxel win again??? two nights in a row? It could be huge!!!!

WHOA!!!!! Rybaxel win again???? Backfoot! The end is near!!!!

Rusev is about to be honored by the Russian Federation Ceremony? For what – beating on our brothers??? I wanna hear wither ‘Kick In the Door Wave in the 4-4 or ‘Somebody gonna get their @$$ kicked?!’ But this means Lana gonna be there with her tight blouse & skirt… Lana is that girl – you gotta go Lexington Steele on her @$$! You just cannot help but think pornographic thoughts when you see Lana! Like I couldn’t bring her home to mom, nah-mean?!

HA! HA! You can’t tell the crowd to stop their USA chants Lana! They want to put their d!ck in your mouth! Even the women!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Cue the Russian Anthem! WROOOOY!!! Listen to how it sounds triumphant! Here’s Question 10 – Does Rusev know the words? Considering he’s actually Samoan?!

Word up – how many teams can say they brukk up every member of Evolution? NONE!!! The Shield are OFFICIAL BAD MANS!!!

You hear that Randall? Get out here so that Roman Reigns can brukk you up with the symbol of excellence!!!! So Triple comes out with the symbol of disgrace! HE HAS BROUGHT THE HAMMER!

Wait a minute – NO!!!! Seth Rollins!!!! But…But…But!!!! I thought you were brothers??? Why you took a Triple TEEF endorsed chair and destroy your brothers??? Why? Tell me WHY??? DAMN SON!!!

Let’s be real about one thing: We knew someone was gonna turn evil, STC’s Negrodamus predicted that it would be Roman Reigns… but Seth Rollins? I forgot, his name is Seth…. suddenly that music springs to mind… if you are a Street fighter fan, you know what I mean!

BEHOLD THE GLORY THAT IS THE TANDEM ENGINE!!! This should be Seth Rollins new music!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Infamous Informer

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