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The Jobber Blogger #110 – TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/6/14
The Jobber Blogger
To think, 10 issues ago was issue 100. There’s some math to kick you in the knee caps! Or shins, if you happen to be a strange alien being at the mercy of one Captain Kirk’s instinctive kick to the groin… accidentally.
Well, that could potential be the most inappropriate way to start this, but hey, what could be better?
Yes TNA heads toward Slammiversary, live tonight actually in the US. But the question is, does their “go home” show deliver. I may have come across a little “negative” last week, and while this week’s show didn’t annoy me as much, I was very much so looking forward for it to end.
When did that happen? 1 hour and a half of Wrestling and I’m bored. The main event should be the thing you want more than anything, but yet, it was just the same old tired boring routine. On the plus side, the same old tired boring routine has had a little bit of a shake up! And yes, that’s good!
TNA: IMPACT WRESTLING – 12/6/14
Sadly, Impact did not kick off with a match, but a match wasn’t actually far behind. The TNA World Champion – Eric Young made his way to the ring (in Wrestling attire… a pretty good give away) and called out MVP.
A whole load of un-necessary garbage later the theme for the show was set. EY was going to war against MVP, Lashley and King, and should be able to win, he gets to pick the stipulation and have his “fair fight”.
Eric Young vs. Bobby Lashley
Believe it or not, but Lashley was the only one between he, MVP and Kenny King to be dressed to compete, it’s like they pre-planned this match?
Either way, this took me a little by surprise. Which is the best way to describe TNA’s main theme this week. See when it was set that EY needed to defeat MVP, Lashley and King, I therefore assumed it would be a handicap match. King again making orders (somehow) claimed EY couldn’t even defeat two of them, and so the challenge was set. Again, I expected this to be 2 on 1. But no, it was a gauntlet… with gaps. EY had to compete in three matches to get his fair fight, all of them spaced out throughout the show, which as it happens… seems fair. Too fair really.
It gets further confusing when Lashley makes quick work of EY, beats him down, injures his back, catches EY mid air and Powerslam’s him to the mat and picks up the win.
My instant reaction was, Awesome! EY got his ass kicked by big bad Bobby Lashley and now EY can’t name his stipulation. Nope.
Just because he lost, doesn’t mean he still can’t win. A stupid idea. Surely if MVP was that bent on having the advantage, it would be a handicap match. Should it not be that, giving a slight edge to EY, it should be that EY wasn’t able to actually lose. He lost, straight away. That should have been the end of it, and quite frankly something I wasn’t expecting. I was expecting an entire show where EY “defies the odds’!” phony injury and all. Still.
Lashley wasn’t done and Samoa Joe came to his aid, thus pitting Joe vs. Lashley at Slammiversary in a mid-card match no-one gives two craps about seeing.
Now That’s Booking!
Magnus and Bram made their way to the ring. Bram looking pretty intense and awesome and Magnus looking like he has a hard time selling the idea of him being intense and awesome. He looked like a presentable version of Bram. I hope Magnus can pull off the gimmick, but right away he’s the less impressive guy in the ring, Magnus works being Magnus, Bram is a natural at playing this crazy intense violent dude. So Bram debuts as this “crazy intense violent dude” and I believe. TNA then tell me “Magnus is just as intense, crazy and violent” and I don’t believe it. Put them side by side, one is trying, one works. So the former World Heavyweight Champion – veteran – Magnus, now looks less legit than the new guy…..
Magnus was given the same old crap speech to explain himself. I really don’t think he needed to, nobody really cares enough, and he’s playing a heel, it’s not like he’s changed, he just ditched looking smart for Bram’s clothes.
Magnus blabbed on about “they” changed him to who he was. Yet this entire “change” apparently only covers the few Months where he was Champion, not the how many years he was the exact same guy beforehand, only without a Championship and catchphrase.
Willow wobbled his way to the entrance ramp, and actually did an alright promo. Jeff sucks trying to be himself, he is charismatic in everything, but dialogue. So Jeff being even more awkward as Willow is just… awkward. Unless they edit it with snazzy effects and reverb, then it’s kind of cool. Jeff jumped between his two personalities, and I actually expected him to ditch the mask and return to being “Jeff Hardy” again, but instead he didn’t. He did however talk about “we”, which was quite good, I’d rather have Willow come out with a blow up doll dressed like Jeff to compete. Instead, Abyss turned up. Abyss obviously back with issues against Magnus, so now it starts to make a bit more sense.
He still looks sort of stupid though, and not at all intimidating like he used to.
Robbie E (w/ Jesse, DJ Z) vs. Knux (w/ The Menagerie)
The Menagerie is this weird blend of good ideas and poor execution, which is always TNA’s staple of work. For instance, the idea of The Menagerie is quite good. The Freak sucks. Crazy Steve is awesome, yet rather than being more awesome, he’s sort of more “comical” and that makes him child friendly in my eyes, rather than being creepy and dark. His look is creepy and dark, how he moves is creepy and dark, the way he snaps is neck around is awesome creepy and dark. But then he’s being stupid, and with the rest of them (namely The Freak who is also known as Walking Stupid) undermines Crazy Steve’s credibility and potential, I feel, at least.
I like having the music playing and crazy lights, but then it always puts the advantage to Knux, they used to do the same thing with the Bromans, so it would be better if it went back and forth a little.
The match was alright, but it has far too many moving parts and gimmicks on both sides for there to be anything to dig your teeth into and get to know anyone as “wrestlers” or characters.
Knux didn’t have too many problems in picking up the win, with multiple distractions on both sides. Crazy Steve then tied his balloons to the back of Robbie E’s trunks, so he freaked out and ran around stupidly. Kind of funny, I get the whole having “characters for everyone” but The Bromans, especially Robbie are very credible in the ring, it would be nice to see Robbie given the chance to be a bit more serious at times. Though Tigre Uno has recently said he’d like to Wrestle Crazy Steve, and implied that he’s very good in the ring, so I’m anxious to see him actually Wrestle.
Ethan Carter the third and Spud brought out “Brooke”. Or Miss Tessmacher, or Brooke Tessmacher, correctly called Brooke Adams. Can’t they just call her that now?
It was awesome to see Brooke back, she’s one of my favourites, aside from the whole “sexualised gyrating move set she does”.
Despite the fact Brooke turned heel very quickly, ditched the fans, got a new persona… got written off of tv for months and months, she’s now back and a face. But whatever, Wrestling, get it.
EC3 was hoping to learn some dark secrets about Bully Ray, but the whole segment got vastly better when Spud took charge.
Spud who put the spot light on Brooke and removed an envelope with evidence that Brooke’s child is indeed Bully’s. Obviously, entirely incorrect information, but highly entertaining. Including everyone’s favourite – the Titan Tron pictures. With a side by side of Bully and some random Baby.
Bully came out to Brooke’s aid, with a horrible, horrible idea of Bully apologising to Brooke and telling her how awesome she is, including a Hug. We don’t need to see that. We all know Bully is married outside of Wrestling, the whole Aces and Eights thing was a good idea, he ditched Brooke when he lost the belt, he’s a bad guy. Now he’s a softy good guy, it’s almost difficult to watch.
EC3 then challenged Bully to a Tables match, which was then one upped by Bully to a Texas Death-match.
Okay, theory time.
Bully Ray is on Dixie Carter’s side. They needed a way to eliminate MVP and the control he has, the best way to do that is give him the power, with Dixie being entirely sure MVP was just as corrupt. And he was. Bully was thrown in the mix to “fool” people, just like The Aces and Eights. Only this time, perhaps more clever?
So my guess is in the end Bully won’t put Dixie through a table, because they are aligned, and always have been. Perhaps even with Bully getting back the World Championship. As far as EC3 and Spud are concerned, Dixie clearly has no issues with throwing them to the hands of Bully just to get her company back and prove a point. That’s my theory. Bully is being “too good”.
Eric Young vs. Kenny King
This was the match of the night, King is a fantastic talent, and I love the current position he is in. Against EY, they both put on a great match, and The Royal Flush – King’s special move, is awesome!
Though a little annoying he just then spent time showing off rather than pinning EY, a clear sign we know how the match is going to play out.
EY then hit the Pile-Driver on King and I cringed, again. You could see King move his head up a little too early, but I don’t blame him one second. The whole move is just bad. I don’t know why they are continuing it. I guess if all parties are happy to do it, fair enough. But it’s almost like “the pile driver will set us apart from the competition”. There’s a pretty damn good reason why they don’t use that move, and I wish TNA would be the same.
Brittany vs. Madison Rayne vs. Gail Kim – #1 Contendership – Knockouts Title
It’s a little annoying that these number one contender matches need to take place, and usually do just before a PPV. The Knockouts have some interesting stories going on currently, can’t they work them into a Title match without having the randomly win an opportunity.
Brittany spent the first part of match copying Madison, and also doing her best to help her in a 2 on 1 type of situation.
Angelina and Velvet crashed the match to join commentary which led to a great little line from Tenay “right in the midst of this three way…… excuse me”.
Madison obviously got more annoyed with Brittany and in the end hit her. Angelina and Velvet made their way to the ring to try and help Brittany win but instead assisted Gail Kim who dropped Brittany with “eat defeat” and is now the Number One Contender.
I wouldn’t be surprised if Brittany joins The Beautiful People, only for them to abuse her and beat up or something. Also remember Taryn Terrell is expected back, would be pretty neat if she were to join up with The Beautiful People too. Not to mention the Von Erich’s are coming to Slammiversary, so perhaps a possible reunion with Lacey isn’t out of the question either.
MVP vs. Eric Young
Yes the main event is here, and it’s the very same main event they were planning for Slammiversary. And it was boring.
Lashley and King beat down EY before he got in the ring, MVP power-bombed EY into the Corner Turnbuckle which looked very, very dangerous how he landed.
In the end MVP just got a Chair and beat up EY getting himself disqualified and thus giving EY a victory so he can pick the stipulation. MVP’s plan of course was just to beat down on EY, which makes sense I suppose.
EY chooses a cage match. And thankfully MVP injured himself recently on a house show and cannot compete tonight, so the match has since been changed, which actually makes the card much more exciting.
So rather than having EY vs. MVP in a Cage for the World Championship, EY will instead face the Winner’s of the Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe and Kenny King vs. Austin Aries matches in a Triple-Threat Cage Match for the Main Event. So well done, the main event is now a little more exciting, and two randomly booked mid card matches (aside from King and Aries to be fair, should be awesome) are now much more interesting.
Speaking of Slammiversary!
Willow (/Abyss) vs. Magnus (w/Bram)
Angelina Love vs. Gail Kim – Knockouts Championship
Bully Ray vs. EC3 – Texas Death Match
Bobby Lashley vs. Samoa Joe – Number One Contender – Main Event
Kenny King vs. Austin Aries – Number One Contender – Main Event
James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson
EY – vs. winners – Triple Threat – Steel Cage- World Heavyweight Championship
Plus the Von Erich’s, plus the TNA Hall of Fame inductee 2014.
Should be a good night, I aim to have my Write up for Wednesday!