Monday Night Raw #1102: July 7, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Before this blog jumps off I wanna give a big, BIG!!! SMACK TALK CENTRE shout out to member Lee Steadx whose wife has given birth to a beautiful baby boy this week! BIG RESPECTS TO THAT MAN!

It’s the gift and the curse of my life, I know I will be a father of none, unless Layla wants to finish her wrestling career and settle down with the god….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YO! I got my walkers crisps, my homewheat (Y’all call it chocolate digestives but I’m old school!) my supermalt, I got strawberry ice cream for later, jaffa cakes… I’m ready for this sh!t, are you??? RAW #1102! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Bret the Hitman Hart is in the hiz-house! Let’s hope this weeks Raw isn’t a 4/10! OK bad joke – the Infamous Informer can come better than that!

So w’happen? Triple Teef and Stephanie McTeef are on vacation??? No one to run the show??? No wonder Raw didn’t start with them two like it does always! Oh my days it’s gonna be anarchy up in here tonight!!!!

WROOOOOOOOOY!!!! Just like I said, not even 5 minutes in, Roman Reigns calls my hero Kane – Randall’s b!tch?? WAR UP INNA DE DANCE!!!

Officials trying to break it up, referees chokeslammed – BLAOW!!! Finlay is one of the officials now – did you know that??? Nah me neither – he got speared by Roman Reigns – BLAOW!

I’m not gonna talk about the Wyatt man dem Vs The Uso brudda unless something big happens… question – Raw this week is in Canada, why isn’t Jerry Lawler calling it ‘Bizarro Land’ like he used to?

One other thing – I hope 2K games put the Uso brudda in the new game as regular characters! Not no DLC sh!t!!! That goes for Cameron & Naomi, Paige, Curtis Axel (even though I’ll just brukk him up) that Bo Dallas kid, Rusev and especially that Lana… OH YEAHHHH!!!

Why are the Usos complaining about the legal man not being pinned??? You guys are more identical than the Bella Twins! I wouldn’t call the Bellas – twins no more!

Talking of Bella twins, they introduce Nikki but not Alicia Fox???? Alicia has been smashing it lately with her story-lines… RACIAL MAN RACIAL!

Both must fight with one arm tied behind their back… I’d tie both arms, bend em both over and twist their backs out!!!GRANT - BODY - P

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and why should Alicia have her hands tied in this match??? her ancestors were caught up in metal chains in 1555 and…. you know what – I’m not getting into that!!! I see the science though… treat Nikki Bella like sh!t so that we feel sorry for her – WELL THE GRANT SAYS that is no longer our concern – she wants to be married to John Cena so bad – and Cena doesn’t lift one finger to help… you think I’d let my woman be f**ked around like that???? A man must protect his first lady… I think Roman Reigns is right along with the fans – Cena SUCKS!

GOD DAMN LANA… you wearing anything under that blouse????

No way – Rob Van Dam is the next victim to Rusev???? Come on RVD – use your martial arts techniques! Lead by example on The Raid!!! Those guys got skills!

OK Rusev Vs Swagger at Battleground???? BACKING RUSEV ALL THE WAY! I keeps it real – I’m not supporting Swagger and Colter just because they turned face… f**k that!

One thing I’ll give Colter credit for – and I don’t do that often – is not cross the borders to Canada! Ha – my woman from Canada will f**k them up!!! Let alone the Infamous Informer!

JAY-BEE – are you an exclusive member of the Triple TEEF kiss his @$$ club? Stop wishing them the best on their vacation! I ain’t saying sh!t – you know why? because I wanna f**k Stephanie as well! I’d show that gyal how to twerk it – twerk it! Give her some loving then send her back to her husband & kids!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – if Dean Ambrose pulls off a figure four leg lock on Randall, how does that pay homage to Bret Hart? I know it’s a submission move, but the Sharpshooter is Bret’s super move isn’t it???? JAY-BEE – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Oh snap! It just hit me why Triple & Steph are on ‘vacation’… they don’t wanna be in the same building as Bret!!! HA! HA!!!

Now look what you done Randall! exposing Ambrose’s bad shoulder, now he throws whole heap of chairs in the ring… oh lawd – somebody gonna get f**ked up tonight!!!

…but the chair dem nah help him???!!! RKO into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!

WTF??? Fandango announces he’s in the Battle Royal at Battleground, and he shakes his hips in front of three guys Cole, JAY-BEE and Lawler? GAY!!!!

WTF??? Michael Cole asks Fandango – who he likes better – Layla or Summer Rae, this was his answer – ‘Fandango likes Fandango’…. and with that, I’M DONE! Bertie Vs Ziggler? F**K THIS MATCH!!!!

What’s more, Fandango does his gay dancing and Ziggler is distracted??? Making Bertie win the match? THAT’S THE MAN YOU SUPPORT…. someone who is staring at Fandango dancing like a queer???? F**k out my face Ziggler fans!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I can’t stand all this faggotry nonsense – here’s a pic of Rosa Mendes… just for no reason… actually the reason is to forget all that stupidness that happened…

Rosa Mendes 2

Aaaah I feel so much better now…

BIG UP THE BEST THERE IS, BEST THERE WAS, BEST THERE EVER WILL BE BRET THE HITMAN HART!!!

OK Bret don’t get excited – you’re in Montreal, you got goosebumps and you are hinting at one more match?? Goldberg where you at????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh lawwd -Damien Sandow is burying himself here, dressed up as Bret and running down Canada???? Maybe Bret DOES have one more match left in him! One punch in Sandow’s grill – BLAOW!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you deserved that – word up!

Thank you Jerry Lawler! Sandow is a man who got skills – why the f**k has he gotta dress as all these different people and make a dyam arse of himself??? Sometimes it’s funny but sometimes I’m just sitting there like – (facepalm)…

If Sandow wanted to generate TRUE HEAT, all he had to do was dress up as Shawn Michaels… you know the fans in Montreal are still trapped in 1997???!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

OK one-on-one action with The Miz Vs Chris Jericho…. just like Bret Hart said once, I know how this match is gonna go, exactly how it is predicted… the Wyatt man dem are gonna come and f**k up Jericho again!!!

Miz – word from the wise – don’t boast about being a movie star and keeping your face as your money-maker – don’t you think that would make guys in the locker room wanna f**k you up??? Like I don’t recall my STC ladies Dawn Bayley, Susan Brunton, Loz Blick, Ref Tonya Stevens, Ashley Vera, Beckii Tyson, Emma Edwards, Emily Brown, Rudie Rai Ryan talk about how good-looking and sexy you are Miz???? The Marine 4??? Hercules is coming out muthaf***a!!!!!

WHOA!!!! Did Jericho just counter Bray Wyatt and told him to shut the f**k up??? He can’t do that!!!! He’s ready to run up and beat him with the rocking chair he be sitting in, here comes the rest of the family! Er Jericho, why didn’t you take a steel chair with you???? and maybe your Fozzy guitar????

OK so maybe Paige hasn’t turned evil after all… seems like she gonna team with AJ against my favourite nubians the Funkadactyls….

No not the Canadian fans too? Don’t chant his name??? Oh it’s ok, they settled down…

Oh HELL NAW! Miss girl bye-bye is doing her nails and make up not tagging Naomi??? Now they fighting on some stupid sh!t…. dayuum…. I hope Naomi tears out that blonde head top of Cameron! It’s like one reps for Nicki Minaj and the other reps for Rapsody!

Remember last week Cesaro f**ked up Kofi Kingston??? If I was Kofi this week I’d be like – f**k a wrestling match – send for the kendo sticks, steel chairs, tables, the lot, set the sh!t’s on fire and bunn up Cesaro!

Kofi wins again, Cesaro was about to f**k him up again, but w’happen – Pastor Lang- er I mean Big E comes out of nowhere! Now all you gotta do Big E is round-up Mark Henry and Titus O Neill or R-Truth or Xavier Woods, get Ron Simmons as their manager and become Black Men United!!! You remember the tune! This should be the theme tune right here!

SHOUT OUT TO MIKE KNOXXX, SPOTFACE, & THE PERFECT PLEX TEAM!!!

This is interesting, this week on Smackdown, Roman Reigns takes on the evil Rusev and his sexy @$$ Lana???? Now I don’t watch Smackdown much… but I might just tune in for this one! Maybe Lana’s orifices may become moist!!!!

HA! HA! HA! HA! Bo Dallas defeats El Torito, does a victory lap, and knocks down El Torito in the process??!!! All you gotta do is BO-LIEVE MUTHAF***A!!!

Main event jump off – John Cena Vs Seth Rollins, I’ll tell you how it’s gonna go down… Seth will deliberately get disqualified, continue the assault, then try to cash in his cheque… then again – Dean Ambrose will run through and stop that muthaf***a!

Do not adjust your sets attitards, John Cena just did an electric chair move with one arm! PUT THAT IN THE GAME 2K!

So let me get this right so I can understand this: You chant ‘Cena Sucks’, then you chant ‘You sold out’ to Seth Rollins… so who do you support???

Well I forgot about the Kane part…. well no doubt Roman Reigns will be on his way now that Randall is out here teefing as well!

Irrelevant – Seth just clapped Roman and Cena in his head – he’s gonna cash in his cheque!!!

Dean Ambrose says NOT TONIGHT, NOT ANY NIGHT ROLLINS! Kane goes to chokeslam Cena – gets speared by Reigns – BLAOW!!!

You know what, I’d finish this blog but since WWE Network is free this week, I’m off to watch the Monday Night War… f**k y’all attitards!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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