Monday Night Raw #1103: July 14, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Ok so Germany won the muthaf***!n World Cup…. THAT AIN’T SH!T compared to my triumph!!!! I met the Supreme Clientele Champion himself – Ghostface Killah! My idol of 20 years!!!

GRANTFACE KILLAHNow that I’ve been in the presence of greatness, YOU are reading greatness. I appreciate that. I got my ginger nuts, my dairy milk bubbly mint chocolate, my Sprite, I’ve had a nap after the epic London trip… LET’S DO THIS!!! RAW #1103, HOLD’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that the icon himself Sting will appear on Raw to promote his addition on WWE2K15!!!! I have warned a certain STC member in the name of Stephen Cooper: If Sting DOES NOT APPEAR IN THE RAW ARENA…. the dreaded chair awaits!!!! Believe me – he don’t wanna go there!!!

So w’happen, they got Cena to advertise the WWE Network now? I think I’m used to Michael Cole advertising that sh!t!!! F**k that – The Infamous Informer and Shadfather advertise that sh!t better – It’s $9.99 a month which is £6.71 – which is around the national minimum wage so THE GRANT SAYS – if you working and you’re a wrestling fan… you better cop that sh!t before I clap you in your head!

You mean to tell me that while Dean Ambrose was getting buss arse by My hero Kane, Seth Rollins and Randall, John Cena and Roman Reigns were in the ring just watching that sh!t? I thought Ambrose was your ‘brother’ Roman??? Oh I get it… one of them was Kane…. but you’re both big strapping guys huh???? You both claim to be ‘Superman’ in your own right??? As Vincent Kennedy would say, ‘John Cena & Roman Reigns are nothing more than two, putrid… p-(censored)!!!!!’


Oh HELL 2 DA NAW!!! It’s that how it goes down? Everytime Miz fights his grill is gonna be on the titantron??? While I remind myself it’s not the attitude era no more, now would be a good time to ask Austin & Big Show to destroy the titantron!!!

I’d rather see Vladimir Putin’s dry @$$ grill up on that muthaf***a!

Word is that Wade Barrett will be at Battleground to present the Intercontinental Championship to the winner…. while Shadfather backs the Great Khali, I back The Miz!!! I hope Wade Barrett says “Congratulations you won the Intercontinental Championship, but I’m afraid I got some BAD NEWS!” And clap down the winner with the belt! It would be great!!!!

Damn the way Stephanie is all over Triple… I’m not interested in this next Dolph Ziggler contest…. Triple just GET IN THAT PU$$Y! Or do I have to go GRANTINGTON STEELE on your wife while you watch and you jerk your hammer?


HA! HA! Fandango as a solo dancer…. that’s right – because he’s a B!TCH!!!!! Since I hate both Ziggler and Fandango, lets watch this right here, when Summer Rae and my Baby Moda Layla saw sense and beat down the pansy!

YES! YES! YES! Now on Raw, Summer Rae & Layla just dissed Fandango! Now they dancing around Ziggler! THIS IS IT! They could cure Ziggler of his homosexual tendencies!!!!! I’m sorry, if I was Ziggler, I don’t care if it’s in front of 15,000 fans, I would be protruding in those wrestling trunks!!!!!


NO! Sandow dressed as some idiot in a McDonald’s???? EPIC FAIL! WWE YOU DROPPED THE BALL HERE! He could have dressed up as Sting to annoy the fans on some bullsh!t!


There could still be hope for STC’s Stephen Cooper yet!!!!

OH SNAP – 2 out of 3 falls tag team contest between The Wyatt man dem and the Uso Brudda at Battleground? Did you see the Wyatt tag team super move? I don’t know what to call it – f**k it – I call it the Buzzard Death Drop – BLAOW!!!! I’m sorry Usos – you cannot compete with that move!

Lana what you doing hiding behind that podium thing? Let me see your sexy @$$ legs in that tight up skirt!!! Anyway I’m backing your argument girl in this American/Russian détente thing going on here!Official_WWE_Battleground_poster_featuring_Bray_Wyatt

GOD DAMN – Lana makes that Russian accent sound sexy – imagine f**k!n her and she has to scream and holla in that language???!!! GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!

See that’s why Rusev gonna beat Swagger at Battleground – even the crowd boo their own president…. RACIAL MAN RACIAL!!!!!

But I gotta say – I can’t wait for this match!!!! Backing Rusev all the way! RUSEV! CRUSH! USE THE ACCOLADE AND KILL!!!!

OH MY GOD! WWE NETWORK DOING A PHILIP BROOKS SPECIAL! All the Philip Brooks fans are gonna rush to the chemists and get that essential cream to put on their genitalia!!! Chemists across the world are gonna make a huge turnover!!! Socks will be hard to find in Primark! Normal folk (that’s me and you) invest in an umbrella! There’s gonna be CM Spunk everywhere!!!!


…and the suffering of Nikki Bella continues! Listen to Stephanie wuk brain on Nikki, saying that Brie was selfish for leaving her hanging like that! Well Steph has a point, I mean, The Bella Twins are a package after all, fans like to see the twins… but let’s be real, ever since they got involved with Danny Bryan & John Cena the appeal has gone… I don’t know about you… I don’t fancy the twins anymore… like Beyoncé and Kim Kardashian, when they got involved with Jay-Z and Kanye, the sex appeal was lost. Don’t get mad, I’m only being real!

You know – the team of Cameron and Alicia Fox could work here… do you think Naomi will come out to help out??? You never know!

Say what? Cameron Vs Naomi at Battleground???? WHOA! This PPV is gonna be great!!!

Even though I knew about this…. I JUST MARKED THE F**K OUT WATCHING THE TRAILER!!! TWO GENERATIONS OF STING ON WWE2K15!!! THE GRANT SAYS – I’m pre-ordering that sh!t!!!!! If WWE do the entrance like what they just did there…. HOLY F**K!!!!

Hmmm interesting…What’s wrong Randall? Afraid that my hero Kane won’t stick to the plan and make you the champion??? If that’s the plan we don’t need a plan B???? Triple looked at Randall as if to say – there is ALWAYS A PLAN B…

Talking of Plan B…. what’s this I hear? Paul Heyman quit? Or he was fired? All apart of the plan people! I was looking forward to him telling me that his client – Plan B himself – conquered the Undertaker’s Streak at WrestleMania!

YES!!! With the combined force of Big E & Kofi, Big E defeated Cesaro! Suddenly Heyman disappears and Cesaro loses????!!!!! Ok now guys, call up Mark Henry and Titus…..

Are people chanting ‘BORING’ to Bray Wyatt’s promo? do me a favour wrestling fools – purchase the muthaf***!n network for $9.99 a month – you have to purchase the cream separately – watch your f**k!n Philip Brooks documentary and F**K OFF!


LAWD HAVE MERCY – EVA MARIE DEP PON DE TELLY! Let’s see what she has learned….

Whoa Eva has improved a little bit! She has learned a few holds and submissions! And a back-breaker too! WOW! Only that her moves don’t look like they hurt…

I’d still f**k the sh!t out of her though! Grantington Steele that pu$$y – BANG BANG BANG!!!

Big ups to WWE – they got the Sting merchandise up for sale and everything! Come on guys! Get to contributing towards Sting’s retirement fund!


All I have to do is BO-LIEVE!!! Bo-Lieve that while he’s fighting The Great Khali, I’m getting some ice cream!!!

Hey I just had a thought…. Do you think Bo Dallas could win the Battle Royal?????

He just defeated The Great Khali via count-out! Maybe he may lose the Streak to don of dons himself???? Just a thought…

Oh no! Paul Heyman is here!!!! Here we go! He’s talking about Plan C! And he didn’t mention the Undertaker’s streak!!! Uh Oh guys and gals! stay close to your loved ones!!! Tell them that you love them!

Why does this muthaf***a Flo-rida keep passing through Raw? He must be broke because nobody buying his wack records or downloading his sh!t from iTunes! And RePPiN4U sure as hell doesn’t endorse his sh!t!


Wow Ric Flair looks good! Look at him looking at Renée like he wants to go buckwild and profile up in her @$$!

Oh no!! Ric Flair predicts John Cena gonna hold down the title at Battleground! Roman Reigns don’t like that sh!t! I tell you this: If Renée asked me that same question – who I think gonna win… I would say…. ME!!! Let’s me and you go in the back, play some Ghostface Killah, and make the Wizard of Poetry do the talking!


Uh-oh!!! at time of writing this, there is about 20 minutes left until I begin construction of the chair custom-built for Stephen Cooper!

It could be excellent strategy here, that Kane, Randall and Seth Rollins took out Ambrose earlier… let’s do the knowledge here, Ambrose says that anytime Seth tries to cash the cheque, he would come and f**k it up. So by doing that, they take on Roman and Cena, they brukk them up enough and then Seth can cash his cheque right there without worrying about Ambrose!

Nice to see Seth Rollins using the three amigo suplex right there! Ok who’s gonna use the triple German suplex?!!! Yes wrestling fools, WWE may erase Chris Benoit out of their history minus the network but his moves live on live long through various superstars!

Well Well Well! All guys in that match minus Seth Rollins be dropping their super moves on each other setting up the Fatal 4 Way jump off…. AND THE SHOW HAS ENDED!!!! You know what that means! Out comes the tool box! all the nails, all the wood, all the sharp edges… Let’s begin CONSTRUCTION!!! OHHHH STEPHEN???!!!!!!


(back story – he was on STC FB page today ranting and raving about Sting’s appearance on WWE Raw this week, he knew it was to promote the game, but he really thought he was gonna appear, and tried to convince us… I warned him only ONCE, that if Sting DOES NOT APPEAR… he would be given the GET IN THE CHAIR!!! AWARD…. his brother Ian Cooper is gonna love this, especially when WWE Network are doing a special on his idol???!!!!)










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