Monday Night Raw #1104: July 21, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

SPECIAL SHOUT OUT TO BDSIR NETWORK, The Perfect Plex team! I guest starred on their show this week and let all you jabronies know that Battleground was actually a good, but not great PPV, and you fools going on like Sting should be on the cover… The Grant Says: How about I put YOU on the cover of the local gyms saying this is what you gonna be like if you don’t come out the muthaf***!n basement!

GRANT BODY -P!!!

BIG TINGZ AH GWARN THIS WEEK! But I’ll let the YouTube links further down the page tell the story… I got my double chocolate digestives, my pizza, my Supermalt, and a Aero bar for later (Redtube-ahem) LET’S DO THIS!!! RAW #1104, HOLD’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that idiot Flo-rida is gonna appear and give me headache with his wack sh!t, let’s hope BRROCK LESNAR drops the F5 on Flo-rida’s b!tch @$$ and he doesn’t appear again!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

…and once again we start this sh!t with Triple TEEF…. hold up where’s your sexy wife at??? OH SNAP!!!! Triple TEEF is gonna complain online because Cena won!!! He’s gonna riot!!! He and his friend Mark is gonna stop watching!!!! Yo Triple!!! You could win promo of the year!

Sorry Randall, the fans don’t wanna see you vs Cena again… so no rematch for you muthaf***a!!!!

You mention Kane’s name Randall…. look w’happen!!!! Somebody gonna get chokeslammed tonight!!!

Kane don’t wanna babysit Orton again! All sorts of f**kery going on in the ring… time for Mr Justice himself to come down the stairs! Remember who Roman has beef with!!!

Trust that Triple TEEF to put Roman Reigns in a handicap match against Randall & My hero Kane!!!!

MEANWHILE… Paul Heyman is on that all important plane to pick up that PLAN C…

Paul Heyman Plan CSomething is seriously wrong with my internet connection – every week around this time now I am missing potentially crucial moments… and it’s been happening ever since I upgraded my broadband speed…

Thank you Virgin Media… I missed half an hour of RAW thanks to you b!tches… I DEMAND A DISCOUNT ON MY NEXT BILL!

Now I found out that the Wyatt Man dem buss up Jericho in his locker room… and now it’s time for the Wyatt Family Highlight Reel! Oh no! Battles don’t mean sh!t to Bray Wyatt! It’s all about de WAAAAAAAR!!!!!

Jesus have mercy look at the state of Jericho! Blood dripping down his ear and sh!t! What we gonna get at Summerslam? First Blood? YOU WISHED!!!!

Big up to STC’s Anthony Cardenas! Yes it is a bathroom break for when that fool Flo-rida enters the arena… I’d jump on the plane and get Brock my damn self!

Since the Miz & Dolph Ziggler are about to brukk each other up… I’ll might as well play Tekken… in fact let me put on Advert #1…

You see – this is how WACK Ziggler is, Miz is all about his money-maker (face)… The Miz would rather cover his face while Ziggler drops 10 elbow drops in succession… Ziggler you dumb @$$ you should have done that to his face! Now that would be F**KED UP! And THAT would impress me! that could have been you on the road to me liking you.. and you couldn’t even do that….. BLOODY USELESS! I don’t know what fans see in ya!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

STC’s Felix Pizarro points out that The Rock’s moms is in the building… why would she be there???? You don’t think….

One thing I can say about Miz…he’s lucky that steel chairs to the head top are banned… he would be f**ked then! You know I would swing that muthaf***a like a baseball is coming at me in a Nintendo Wii game!

Urgh Ziggler wins…. that makes me sick to my stomach…. well that means Ziggler can fight for title maybe at Summerslam… make it pre-show pleeeeeeeassseeee!

WHOA!!!! Cesaro no longer a Heyman guy, now he wants to be a Triple Guy???? While these men (Rollins, Kane, Randall) are all on Triple’s d!ck…. this leaves a certain principal owner of WWE lonely and dissatisfied… So Steph… who was it you were looking at in that magazine eh??? I know I’ve been told I am sexually appealing… you want some Grantington Steele???

Stephanie Health & FitnessAJ Lee & Paige take on Emma & Natalya… I take it Emma is gonna ‘job’ here…. after teefing out of Walmart apparently… stupid dumb fans still on Philip Brooks d!ck chanting his name when four talented good-looking women are in effect…. I already aired out my anger and frustration out of those fools!

I like these little pairings they got going… Emma & Natalya, Alicia & Cameron, Summer Rae & Layla, AJ Lee & P- OH SNAP!!!! PAIGE HAS TURNED EVIL!!!! beat up AJ Lee all over the shop! Call Tamina!!! Oh snap – Tamina’s with me right now!!!! She’s just here semi-naked and waiting for me to finish this blog…. before she proceeds to DESTROY ME!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Layla I love you but first Fandango, then Ziggler, then Adam Rose, now muthaf**!n Wack Ryder!!!! Hang on quoteGRANT - BODY - P from JAY-BEE –

“Zack Ryder doesn’t know what to do with these women he’s a geek!!!!”

HOLD ON – ZACK RYDER WON?????? EVERYONE STAY CLOSE TO YOUR LOVED ONES! TELL THEM YOU LOVE EM! EXTINCTION LEVEL EVENT DRAWS NEAR!

So that’s what happened when my internet went out…. Brie Bella had a ticket, then Stephanie just had to come down and cause trouble…Brie cusses Stephanie for treating Nikki like sh!t, and Stephanie gives her one slap IN THE FACE!!!! I don’t give a damn, if you are not invested in Stephanie Vs Brie Bella – YOU ARE A F**K!N FOOL, OK!!!! This is great!!!

While I was impressed that Flo-Rida pitched down that weakling Wack Ryder, he’s getting that pocket change on some bullsh!t…. I’m gonna hit you with the second advertisement…

EPIC FAIL when Flo-Rida told the WWE Universe to scream and I heard NOTHING!!!!! Have you got the message yet Flo-Rida??? YOU SIR ARE WACK!!!!!

HOLY SH!T!! THIS IS MARK THE F**K OUT MOMENT RIGHT HERE! STEPHANIE MARIE McMAHON ARRESTED FOR ASSAULT & BATTERY! Brie Bella sent the Babylon after Stephanie!! Steph tryna style it out like – ‘She hit me first’!!!! Er – yeah – Brie was under contract! Now she’s not – Brie was a paid customer to watch the show! Tell the Babylon – I’M STEPHANIE McMAHON DAMNIT!!!! I OWN THIS DAMN PLACE!!! DAMNIT I OWN THE WWF!!! LAWWWD! Stephanie gonna serve cigarettes to the top dog! The lesbian inmates are gonna have a field day! Prisoner Cell Block HHH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

WHOA!!! Ryback win????? How come the fans are chanting ‘Feed Me More’ again????

What’s this???? Malcolm Xavier???? Confronting Kofi & Big E, ‘we don’t ask, we take?????!!!’ No way…. this is it! BLACK MEN UNITED!!! HIGHER LEARNING!!! Recruit Titus and R-Truth now! F**k that – Bring in Cameron & Alicia Fox!

UH-OHHHHH!!! Here comes Rusev!!!! The Ravishing tight up skirt Lana is with him!!! Your complaints have fallen on deaf ears!!!! That’s why triple took the p!$$ out of your b!tch @$$ earlier! Crying and Barling about the Attitude Era, Lana gives you attitude and you can’t take it like a b!tch! SHUT-UP!!!

Why the f**k is The Great Khali coming out here???? SEND FOR THE ACCOLADE! RUSEV CRUSH!!!!!

Word on the street is Rusev & Lana are f**k!n…. do you think Rusev gives Lana the accolade???!!!!

LANA BRA

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Stephanie resisted arrest??? Oh boy – Stephanie – you going to jail! Joan Ferguson will be overjoyed! A pretty face with a banging body entering Wentworth Detention Centre??? You know what Joan is like once she puts those gloves on!!!!

Oh dear! Cesaro was out to impress Triple TEEF! I don’t think he got very far, Ambrose got himself disqualified when he sent for the steel chair and lick him down!

Don’t you get the joke??!!! Triple is supposed to be supporting his wife down at the Babylon station, he’s more concerned of announcing Cena’s next opponent!!!! I guess business comes before family!

Right Triple, you ain’t fooling the IWC or the WWE Universe… we all saw the leaked promo… just announce the opponent already damnit!

We know Roman got beef with Orton…. WATCH OUT – Paul Heyman in the hiz-house! SEND FOR PLAN C!

HERE HE IS!!!! HE’S BACK! ROCKING THE EAT SLEEP CONQUER THE STREAK SHIRT!!!! (If only the lights went out and the gong sounded…)

Look at the smile on Triple’s face! And an epic speech from Paul Heyman about how Brock brukk the streak and Cena is gonna get destroyed…. Brock doesn’t make people forfeit their titles – he OBLITERATES THEM!

Let’s have a prayer for the Cenation, and the kids worldwide…. they do have faith after all… Cena DID defeat Brock Lesnar at Extreme Rules 2012… Oh it’s true! It’s Damn True! So Brock fans: Don’t act like Brock is invincible!

SMACK TALK CENTRE: WE HAVE LESS THAN A MONTH TO PREPARE… AUGUST 17…. LET’S GET DIRTY! (I CAN’T GET IN DA CLUB!!!!)

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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The Infamous Informer

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