Monday Night Raw #1105: July 28, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuum! What the rarse did I wake up to this morning??? Spike TV can’t take this sh!t no more with Total Nonsense Atrocious Wrestling? No doubt, they made an ‘IMPACT’ alright, on the media and the IWC!!! Now all the WWE Fan Boys are hoping that TNA meets its end, they stole Triple and Undertaker’s shovel and they have worked hard to dig the grave! The real wrestling fans are concerned for all the talent that is there as their future hangs in the balance…by this Thursday coming… we will know for sure! Poor Danny Bryan, he just helped put a criminal to justice, and now his glory means nothing… similar to his WWE title reigns…

We are in for a big week in wrestling y’all… with that said, get me my BIG PIECE OF CHICKEN!!!! RAW #1105! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZWord on the street is that Stephanie McMahon has invited Brie Bella to Raw!!! My love for women is untold, and I am so invested in this storyline! It’s hotter than John Witherspoon’s hot sauce… hell, it’s hotter than Lana!!! YEAH I SAID IT!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

When the start of Raw involves divas in Brie Bella & Stephanie, YOU KNOW sh!t is going down!

Since Raw last week had NO Cena, this week let’s start with him…. is it the toughest challenge for Cena??? I dunno man… he has defeated Brock before…but Brock brukk the streak – from you do that…. Cena is in trouble now!

YES CHANTS FROM THE CROWD WANTING BROCK TO BRUKK UP CENA’S BLOUSECUP! Oh man…..!!!!!!

There you go! Cena told ya! He defeated the beast back in 2012!!!! Cena belie- no sorry – BO-Lieves he can win!!!!

Not according to Paul Heyman…. Cena will be BEATEN! Cena will be VICTIMISED! Cena will be CONQUERED!!!!

Ok Cena got real talk for Heyman…. oh yes the passion… he promises Heyman that he’s walking out with this sunovab!tch!!!! (Poor Austin impression Cena but… what the hell!)

COUNTERACTION BY CESARO!!! I know he didn’t just tell Cena straight that he CAN’T WRESTLE!!! Understand what Cesaro just said people! Cesaro just said what the Anti-Cena attitards have been typing on their keyboards for years!!!! Do you realise that the Anti Cena Attitards are clenching their penises and thrusting away until they damage their monitor right now???!!!!

PHILIP BROOKS IS NO MORE, LONG LIVE ANTONIO CESARO!!!!!

Cesaro, on a mission… to out wrestle Cena all over Houston! If Cena defeats Cesaro right now….oh boy oh boy… how crazy would that be? But if Cesaro actually defeats Cena? That would be HUGE!!! You know the rules WWE! defeat the champion in a non-title match, he’s the #1 contender straight away!

Oh man this is one of those matches where Cena has to draw for moves he don’t use!!!! Like he did with Sandow, like he did with CM P**k!

An FU (AA) off the top ropes – BLAOW!!!!! Cesaro is main event ready if you ask me! All he needs is a compelling storyline! Ok all you Anti – Cena attitards – shut the f**k up… you don’t know the meaning of the word ‘buried’!!!! If Cena dropped the FU on your b!tch @$$ you ain’t getting up!

Oh dear! Triple tried to be reasonable with Randall… Triple is right – Randall you cannot have a title shot with Cena because 1 – No one wants to see that sh!t – and 2 – Roman Reigns already said he’s gonna f**k you up every chance he gets! And then after him, he’s going after Triple! With that said – if Randall fights Roman Reigns at Summerslam I’m calling it now – Roman Reigns will LOSE because Triple TEEF is gonna f**k it up!

…and the masturbating continues!!!! This time for good reason… Paige is in the building… with that horrible @$$ voice…I’m sorry…. for a 21-22 year old??? She sounds more like 52!!!!

Now the masturbating continues for bad reason… the CM P**k chants continues while AJ Lee was in the ring…. f**ks sake!!!

Oh hell naw!!! Paige why you call AJ crazy for??? You know what happens when you call that girl crazy??? You know what AJ, you might as well learn the Anaconda Vise submission and the GTS supermove…. if you do that…you might cure these wrestling nerds of this problem! The man is straight edge for god sake… he promotes being clean, and not taking drugs, yet these wrestling fools are ADDICTED to chanting for a man who cares not for them! Something wrong with that picture if you ask me!

What’s up Steph?!!! You don’t look yourself…. you escaped getting cigarettes for Bea Smith didn’t you? You avoided playing the ‘scissor game’GRANT - BODY - P with Joan Ferguson… didn’t you????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Why get bex at us Triple? Stephanie shouldn’t have been farce should she? No one told her to slap a ‘paying customer’ in the crowd???

THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE! Stephanie & Brie  Storyl- hang on – JERICHO????

Oh no you know Jericho and Stephanie are arch nemesis! He got Houston singing this!!!! OH SNAP!!!

 

Then he pulled out old faithful! Asking Triple – Why the f**k didn’t he go to Stephanie’s aid straight away??!!! Simply put – she is a Trash bag, $5 dollar ho!!! (A pretty looking ho… that I’d wine & dine, take her to the movies… take her back to my crib… I will do all the rubbing…kiss her everywhere, Yes Triple – EVEN THERE!!!!)

 

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear a shot to the head with the briefcase – BLAOW!!! Seth Rollins clapped Jericho down! We got a great match for later – Seth Rollins Vs Chris Jericho…BIG!!!!

6 Man tag team action! Miz & Rybaxel, Vs Dolph Ziggler and Usos…. bound to be a crazy hi-flying match… Can Ryback win another one???

HA! HA! Jailbird trending pon twitter!!!! Stephanie have criminal record!!!! Well if it’s good enough for Vincent Kennedy, it is good enough for Daddy’s Little Girl! JAY-BEE you are a funny muthaf***a! We should have our twitter and Facebook suspended for calling Stephanie a jail-bird??? So what should they do to users who have nasty pedophile sh!t on their Facebook or racist groups and all that sh!t???? Plant a bomb in their laptops and devices???? Actually that’s not a bad idea!!!!

Catch Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston & Big E at ringside!!! now sporting suits that my Uncle Danny would be proud of!

God damnit Ziggler won… well he’s in a storyline right now so until Summerslam, I won’t cuss… I’ll have to bite my tongue…

Er… Xavier… your work is not done… look at R-Truth acting a fool in the ring! Come for your brother! That ‘WHAT’S UP!’ sh!t don’t fly no more!

WTF!!!!!! R-TRUTH BRUKK THE STREAK OF BO DALLAS???!!! HOLY CRAP!!! Bo Dallas BEX!!!! Assaulting R-Truth! What you gotta say now JAY-BEE???? Greatest streak of all time??? GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE! Undertaker never assaulted Brock after his loss… he took it like a man! Undertaker is a man of honor!

Damn why can’t somebody rip Lana’s blouse off???!!! Hold on – did Lana just cuss bad word???? Nah must be her fake accent!

SALUTE VLADIMIR PUTIN! SHOW RESPECT DAMNIT!

While Zeb Colter talks his nonsense…. I thought I’d play this for my dude Lee Steadx of the STC, because that’s what he’s thinking when he sees Lana, knowing that Rusev is supposedly dating her…

 

RUCKUS IN HOUSTON BETWEEN SWAGGER & RUSEV!!!! Why have I got this feeling that this will be a submission match of some sort? Or an I Quit match? Loser has to quit talking trash about one’s country???? Both got submission super moves….

Props to WWE – I am invested in every storyline leading up to Summerslam!!!! Very good fellas!

Well apart from the Sandow/Adam Rose rubbish…. trust me to speak too soon!

Roman Reigns Vs My Hero Kane… well we know how this gonna turn out… awaiting Randall’s entrance to bait it up for Reigns…. but wait – who will my hero Kane fight???

Well Randall came a lot sooner than I thought! Randall, Kane & Reigns fighting in the crowd!

KANE! Chokeslam to Reigns! Left Randall to finish him off! Randall! With voices in his head! They are chatting to him! They telling him to f**k Reigns up all over the ring! DDT off the barricade! Set up announce table! RKO – BLAOW! The table didn’t break! Randall nah dun – a second RKO – BLAOW!!!! The table broke this time! Well done Randall you f**ked up Reigns but guess what? You still don’t get a title shot muthaf***a!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh my GOD – Summer Rae & Layla acting as Spanish cheerleaders??? With those boots and tights on? Tight leather dress and sh!t??? What more will these two do to keep my d!ck harder than Bruce Willis??!

Fandango lose again to Los Matadores!!! HA! HA! HA! Just the way playas play… every day all day! HA! HA! HA!

Naomi still looks bex… and sexy with it, Alicia Fox and Cameron looking like they run the school yard… and Natalya looking like….Natalya! I LOVE IT!!!! THIS IS WHAT THAT WRESTLING SH!T IS ABOUT!

Wait a minute – Naomi has a new submission super move???? Why isn’t my girl champion???? Ok I understand the situation right now!

Seth Rollins Vs Chris Jericho – this one should be wild!

Knowing that the last segment is between two women…. we haven’t seen that since 2005 when Trish fought Lita! I’m telling you this is how hot the storyline is!

Great contest between Rollins & Jericho as expected, but that codebreaker from the top ropes – BLAOW!!! – SEND FOR THE WYATTS! I’m telling you Jericho needs another game plan! He gotta get some steel chairs in reserve! Otherwise he will be slaughter every time!

BUMBACLART SO THAT’S HOW IT GOES DOWN! When was the last time you were excited about a feud with two females??? Mickie James Vs Trish Stratus perhaps? I bet it was! Brie Bella will drop all the charges if Stephanie agrees to a fight at Summerslam!!!! So Steph puts on this act that she’s the victim only to – WHAAAAAAAAM! Blast Brie in her mouth corner! And all hell has broken loose! Capacity crowd with the Yes Chant! and This Is Awesome! Stephanie vows to make Brie Bella her B!TCH!!!! Stephanie, mother of three, a principal owner of World Wrestling Entertainment, corporate partner with many organisations! About to get it on with Brie Bella! Just think of the root of where all this began! All because Daniel Bryan would not Get In The Chair…. had he had done that… things would be different right now…. expect Danny himself to be at Summerslam supporting Brie along with Triple supporting his wife: TRUST ME… this match is gonna be DON!!! Nikki Bella gets a pay rise too! How about that then??!!!

 

OCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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