Monday Night Raw #1106: August 4, 2014!!!

Smack Talk Centre Raw Logo

The Infamous Informer

Peace & Blessings Wrestling fans around the world! My Name is Michael Grant a.k.a. The Infamous Informer, a.k.a. The Man In The Purple Suit, a.k.a. the 1 behind the 1 in 17-1… when My Client, RRRRRRon Killings, Conquered the Bo Dallas streak last week on Raw!!!!

(BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!)

Boo me all you want but I each and every week I speak the truth to you deluded wrestling fools! CM P**k doesn’t wanna know, Dolph Ziggler is WACK and you stupid muthaf***as supported the excellent Guardians of the Galaxy after you run down Batista to the ground… how stupid and dumb do you look now??? You sneer and go to the toilet during diva matches like b!tches in a club doing their make up taking selfies and sh!t and now the most talked about match at Summerslam is Brie Bella Vs Stephanie McMahon…

WHO ARE THE IGNORANT FOOLS NOW???!!!

Now b!tch, get me my Real McCoy Man Crisps, my Aero mint chocolate, my Carte La’Dor Strawberry Ice Cream and my Jaffa Cakes, don’t forget my Pineapple & Grapefruit crush drink… sit down and SHUDDUP! RAW #1106! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZBig ups to STC member James Patrick Park Jr. Live in effect at Raw this week but they took the Smack Talk Centre sign away from him???? WHAT SORT OF SH!T IS THAT??? The Smack Talk Centre must be too gangsta for the WWE!!! You f**k!n with the wrong n!**@ now WWE!

EVERY MEMBER OF THE STC PLEASE RISE, PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HEART AND SAY IT LOUD: WE THE STC!!!!

I wished I counted how many times this year Raw starts with the Authority coming out here… don’t get me wrong though… I love to see Stephanie’s sexy @$$… but it’s like 2000 when Triple used to come out talking sh!t like – ‘I AM THE GAME-ERRRRR…. I AM THE WWF CHAMPION-ERRRRR… And I AM THAT GOOD-ERRRRR!!!!’

What is this – a promo ramming the WWE Network down my neck back??? This a shot at the IWC – all 128,000 of em who withheld their sh!t after 6 months…

It’s also promoting the WWE Network going global after they clinched the deal with the Canadian Cable Company….

STEPHANIE… YOUR COWBOY BOOTS!!!! COME HERE GIRL RIDE THAT PONY!!!

And guys, you can catch Stephanie McMahon riding on Grantington Steele on the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71) a month!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

But according to Triple TEEF, you get to read on here about My hero Kane Vs Roman Reigns in a Last Man Standing Match for free!!!!!

If a steel chair is wedged between the turnbuckles, and Roman Reigns drives Kane headfirst into it… does that count as a chair shot to the head? ??? Hit me up on the TWITTAAAAR!!! @MZATheInfamous!!!

HERE WE GO!!! Roman Reigns has sent for the tables!!!! I hope Kane sets that sh!t pon FYYYYRRRRRRE!!!!

OH SNAP!!! Roman Reigns went for the Superman Punch, Kane with the sidestep – grabs him, Chokeslam through the table – BLAOW!!!!

Luckily for Reigns his SWAT gear cushioned some of that blow. Reigns able to recover, got the superman punch, ducks underneath Kane’s clothesline, comes off the ropes – SPEAR – BLAOW!!!! Kane tryna pull up with the ropes but it’s too late – 10 count!!!

Oh Kane….. I knew you should have set that muthaf***a on fire! Reigns would have lost for sure! Triple said he wanted to see the demon…. the demon got slayed yo!

Well if you wanna see tables set pon fyre you can see it pon de WWE Network, for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

WHAT AN EPIC MMA/UFC STYLE PROMO PACKAGE BY BROCK LESNAR & JOHN CENA!!! But Brock said something that made me think – Yo WWE, you better rate this thing TV-14!!!! “I’m gonna leave John Cena in his own blood, urine & vomit…” Oh my god – OH… MY… GOD!!!!! (JR VOICE)

And if you wanna see the biggest fight of the summer then send for the WWE Network at only $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Wait a minute…Sandow can’t come out to JR’s music????? After WWE treat him bad like that???? DISRESPECT!!!! Sandow you’re my dude but you gonna get buss arse for this surely!

OH SNAP!!!! HE WILL GET BUSS ARSE!!! MARK HENRY IN THE HIZ-HOOOUUUUUSEE! Bruk him up Henry…. THAT’S WHAT YOU DO!!

Oh no next week on Raw is gonna be MAAAAAAD! Hulk Hogan’s Born Day plus surprise guests???? Ok let’s get to guessing… Rowdy Roddy Piper gotta be there… Sandow will be there probably dressed up as Mr America and sh!t… how about The Rock & Stone Cold Steve Austin??? Nah that’s asking too much! But is $9.99 (£6.71) for the WWE Network asking too much?????

I like the banter and jokes surrounding the WWE Network between JAY-BEE and Lawler… it’s almost classic heel commentary! If those internet muthaf***az complain about this…. it makes me wanna rage like Ken in Fist of the North Star and throw fists at y’all muthaf***az!

 

What sort of move was that by Bertie???? That was like a reverse suplex off the top ropes!!!! And Ambrose survives??? DAYUUUM!!!

Bwoy Bertie was a tough opponent for Ambrose! 15mins42secs is the time to beat for Seth Rollins… Winner of beat the clock chooses the stipulation…. if I was Ambrose, If Seth fails to beat the clock I’d choose an ‘I’ll F**K YOU UP’ match and take the briefcase!

OK LADS HOLD YOUR NUTS AND KEEP YOUR PALMS ON EM! Miss Tight Up Skirt herself – Lana is in the hiz-houuuuussse! And if you want her to grip your nuts all you gotta do is send for the WWE Network for $9.99 (£6.71)!!!!

LAYDEEZ!!! If you’re bi-sexual and want Lana to give you that good scissor lovin, send for the WWE Network for only $9.99 (£6.71)!

Lana has a good singing voice don’t you think??? If you want her to sing happy birthday to you, you know what to do…..

WWE NETWORK, $9.99 (£6.71)!!!

Damnit I was hoping that Rusev would CRUSH that Zeb Colter….maybe I’ll see it at Summerslam…. on the WWE Net…. wait a minute, I won’t have to do that since I will be with the STC LIVE at the Hogshead!!!!

 

Trust DRY ENGLAND to be last with the WWE Network… 170 different countries get it from next week and we have to wait til October 1????? What sort of sh!t is that???? F**k that – I blame Cameron…. I bet he’s trying to add WWE Network tax on that sh!t! If anyone deserves the Fist of the North Star punches… or if there is anyone I hate more than the IWC… it’s that muthaf***a who calls himself the prime minister! Get me in the ring with that bastard – I’LL F**K HIM UP!

Ziggler just beat Cesaro???? The Grant Says – I think it was a mistake that Cesaro broke away from Heyman….ever since then he’s been losing and sh!t… and Anthony Cardenas – it’s not ‘jobbing’ if Cesaro loses once! It’s just a loss! No wonder Ric Flair hates us using wrestling terminology!

Look at the creativity behind Cody Rhodes new Stardust character!!!! It’s amazing!!!! Even his fighting style is different to that of Cody himself! It’s a damn shame that they not at Summerslams… there’s 8 matches signed and not one of em are for the tag team titles! Maybe a tag team turmoil is needed here??? Even if it’s for pre-show?

Oh no My hero Kane has taken back off his mask…. I hope it’s not back to the school trousers he wore….. Undertaker talk to your brother man!!!!

Do you think WWE2K15 will clock on to the crowd holding their phones with The Wyatt entrance?

Damn Jericho just cannot get a break!!!! Every week the lights go out and he gets buss arse by Bray Wyatt! I keep telling that muthaf***a to bring a chair with him every time he fights the Wyatt man dem… he never listens…. and oh yeah, get a stipulation going or something!!!

WTF IS THIS? Fandango’s new partner is MUTHAF***K!N HORNSWOGGLE??? F**KOUTTAHERE… I’m getting my Ice Cream… Incidentally French Vanilla (Summer Rae) and Caramel Sundae (Layla) are at ringside…. and I’d get all up in their guts! They want their pu$$y sucked… ICE CREAM!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no! Bo Dallas lost again on Smackdown by DQ??? Dayuuum! R-Truth is on a role!!! Maybe R-Truth should face the Underta…… oh wait…..

Look at JAY-BEE with the piece of paper saying $9.99!!!! If I see fans in the crowd with $9.99 as signs I am gonna crack up!!!

Ok people, 15 minutes. 42 seconds or less for Seth Rollins to defeat Rob Van Dam…. something tells me Seth will fail to this…

OH SNAP!!!! Heath Slater replaces RVD in this beat the clock challenge??? The Authority is being TEEF here…. F**k that – it’s all about Stephanie Vs Brie now!

Wait a minute – Dean Ambrose at ringside…. uh-oh!!! What if Ambrose f**ks it up and Heath Slater wins?????!!! Now it’s got interesting!

Hold up – how did Ambrose manage to open the briefcase and rip up the contract???? He can’t do that!!!! He just poured popcorn and soda all over that muthaf***a! How is Rollins gonna cash in his cheque??? He CAN’T!!!! Well there goes my guess of the ladder match with the briefcase up for grabs down the sewer…. shout out to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Das Efx!

OH SNAP!!!!!!! Heath Slater win!!!!! BLODCLART!!!!!! Ambrose you gonna pay for that I will assure you!!

Oh hell naw!!! I have to wait til Smackdowns until Dean Ambrose names the stipulation??? Ok I’ll make an effort to watch that sh!t!!!GRANT BODY THRONE - P

Once again – Stephanie & Brie get the main event segment….. twice in a row??? THIS IS WHAT I CAME TO SEE!!! THE CONTRACT SIGNING! WWE Fans stand up! Wrestling nerds sit the f**k down!

Usually I hate the crowd for this but this time I respect them for this! Brie is gonna f**k up Stephanie for herself, Danny, Nikki, Big Show, The Rhodes Family, and CM PUNK!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YES!

What I saw next could be the funniest thing since GET IN THE CHAIR!

Stephanie signs the contract, slaps Nikki down! Before Brie could retaliate, Triple Teef pushes the table into the corner trapping Brie! LOOK AT THE SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! Stephanie with a Pedigree to Nikki – BLAOW!!!! OH SNAP!!!! Brie BEX!!! She slaps Triple!!!! But Stephanie grabs Brie, sets her up too! Pedigree into the canvas – BLAOW!!!!!

To those of you dyam arses who say Stephanie can’t wrestle, that she can’t fight, have you conveniently forgotten that Stephanie has been taking boxing lessons? That her husband is a 13 time Wrestling Champion who uses the hammer? So him teach her wrestling move???? Yeah you dumb wrestling internet keyboard warriors know it all don’t you? I actually remember Stephanie using the pedigree in the attitude era days… HA! I hope Danny has taught Brie how to use those pretty legs of hers to kick down Stephanie!

I AM KAZUYA GRANTSHIMA, THE MAN IN THE PURPLE SUIT, AND I GUT PUNCH INTERNET WRESTLING FANS LYRICALLY!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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