Monday Night Raw #1107: August 11, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

With celebration comes tragedy….

Not only are we celebrating Hulk Hogan’s birthday, and Hip Hop’s birthday (41 years young, birthplace – 1520 Sedgwick Ave), We lose a comedy icon, the man call Robin Williams… can we please get a moment of silence….

ANYWAY!!!!!!! GRANT BODY – P!!!

Don’t expect the Infamous Informer to show compassion for someone he was never a fan of! Not that he wasn’t a fan, just like he never grew up watching Mork & Mindy…nah-mean??

ENOUGH OF THAT SH!T! This week’s chosen indulgence: Pretty much the same as last week! It’s all about Summerslam at the Hogshead STC! Get your sh!t sorted, do you wanna end up saying ‘I Can’t Get In Da Club’ because you didn’t prioritize????

We got a birthday to celebrate damnit! I’m not here to mourn – F**K THAT! Let’s run some joke, that’s what Robin Williams would have wanted. RAW #1107! HOL’ DAT – BLAOW!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZOh snap! Presents all over the stage for Hulk Hogan…do you think Brock Lesnar will kick down all the gifts????

Paul Heyman doesn’t do promos, he does DISSERTATIONS!!!! WHOA!!!!

Did this epic dissertation just turn into Heyman dropping Hardcore Thuganomics???? DAYUUUUM!!!! That was real talk though, everyone Brock destroyed, we don’t see them again!!!! How come he didn’t bring up Triple Teef when his client Brock Lesnar broke his arm???

…and what does Heyman mean by when Brock wins the title, this is HIS HOME??? He’s not implying what some fans are thinking is he? That according to reports, Brock will hold the title all the way til WrestleMania? This is how I KNOW that it was just hatred against The Rock when he won the title last year… now you made The Infamous Informer REAL MAD…. you picked the wrong day to f**k with the don!!! Ask those 2 big ‘pansies’ who called themselves ‘wrestlers’ at the PWL event recently???!!! It takes two of em to call out the Infamous???? Next time I’m coming to that event with my Roman Reigns SWAT attire and a steel chair…

Talking of Roman Reigns… he gotta fight Rybaxel, and Kane has traded his mask for his school trousers again……OH NO!!!!! No more setting people on fire, no more tombstones on priests…. people this is Kane’s way of winding down his career….let’s be real…

I see signs with $9.99 in the crowd! Better than that – I see signs with the Wu-Tang Logo in the crowd!!!!! And James Patrick Park Jr could not represent with his Smack Talk Centre sign last week…. KMT!!!

You mean to tell me that the combined force of Rybaxel were not enough to stop Roman Reigns? You two are WACK!!!!! Then that sexy @$$ Renée Young asking Roman question…. I’d have a ‘spear’ ready and waiting for that sexy lady! But I gotta say that pic of Renée looking like she taking a p!$$ in the urinal was disturbing….

Renee Young Urinal

As Seth Rollins battles RVD, Dean Ambrose picked the stipulation: A Lumberjack match??? Theoretically this means every one on the roster gets paid for Summerslams…. however I’m not feeling it. You mean to tell me that all this time that’s how Ambrose wants to f**k up Rollins? What happened to an I QUIT match? Parking lot brawl? Even a Lions Den match? F**k that – send for the Punjabi Prison in that muthaf***a!

This must make the 50th time that RVD & Rollins have fought…. and every-time it is entertaining. What a shame it wasn’t a full-blown feud….

Why didn’t you trust your instincts Rollins? Now we know what was one of Hogan’s presents! Ambrose himself! Exploding out of that package, trying to put beats on Rollins, and as usual Rollins takes his briefcase and runs for his life! You see what I mean for a stipulation? Lumberjack match….. Damnit Vincent Kennedy, are you that brukk that you can’t afford even the basic blue steel cage????

Uh-oh…. Stephanie has a confession… is she gonna adopt the Vincent Kennedy walk???

Oh hang on – some girl named Megan has a confession???? Who is she – Danny Bryan’s personal therapist? I’ve got a bad feeling where this is going…

No way – Megan’s saying that she’s been riding on Danny’s d!ck???? What is this – a parody of that Jay-Z & Beyonce mistress sh!t going on???

Look at Stephanie’s face!!! Rubbin it in!!!! I don’t think Megan did anything at all – Stephanie’s like – ‘Here’s $9.99 – get yourself the WWE Network!’

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Brie Bella has gone buckwild! You don’t see that Stephanie trickify? Wait a minute – Brie has learned a new move! The Yes-Lock!!! OH SNAP!!!! All this is, it’s Triple Vs Danny Bryan – the wives edition!

Shout out to BDSIR NETWORK co-host and STC Member Chris Spotface McClain who pointed out that Cesaro doesn’t get introduced no more, now it’s all about Wack Swagger…. so disrespectful! I sincerely hope Rusev CRUSHES Swagger’s backbone at Summerslams!

I didn’t even check for that Cesaro Vs Swagger match…. I don’t give a damn about it, nor do I care about Zeb Colter’s bullsh!t @$$ promo… let’s get to the interview with Jericho & Bray Wyatt…

Did you make head or tail of that interview with Bray Wyatt & Chris Jericho?  No? Me neither…. let’s see the Divas Champion AJ Lee and datGRANT & LAYLA WWE2K15 @$$ in action!

Dayum she fighting Eva Marie! And 10 seconds into the match Paige just had to skip in the picture, I thought it was All Red Everything??? OH SNAP!!!! EVA MARIE WIN!!! If it’s good enough for Heath Slater last week, it’s good enough for Eva Marie! Now she can fight for a Title shot!

Now Paige is dropping Hardcore Thuganomics on her ‘frenemy’!!!! I get it!!!!! It is Hip Hop’s birthday after all!

Speaking of Hardcore Thuganomics….here’s the Doctor himself!!!! Come on Cena, draw for your Book of Rhymes! Don’t let Heyman out rhyme you and make Hip Hop look bad on her birthday!

Well IWC, you just got called out by John Cena! When will he turn evil? When will he stop being that dude with the fruity pebble T-shirts? Cena claims he’s gonna go BUCKWILD on Brock at Summerslam! Cena punkin out Brock and now a capacity crowd chanting Cena’s name! I thought Cena Sucks guys? I thought he was the same old sh!t for 10 years? To fight a beast, you must become a beast! Well The Grant Says, to those PWL wrestlers, one of em named Old B*stard…. to fight The Infamous YOU must become Infamous!

Shout out to STC members Dawn Bayley and Josh Kohli!

Hang on – Brie Bella & Stephanie are gonna fight now? They’re not gonna wait til Summerslams???? Nah Stephanie is up to something surely!

OH HELL NAW!!!! Stephanie paid Megan to press charges and send Brie to jail! She can’t go Brie Mode in there???? Not again – not Prisoner Cell Block HHH!

Stephanie’s right – if you believe in the words of the bible – What goes around comes around…. looks like Megan is gonna get not just the WWE Network, but she might have a contract to fight for the divas title for up to a year as well!!!! Maybe even a 50 inch TV and a PS$/XBoxOne to play an advanced copy of WWE2K15 on it!

Now that Miz is here and Ziggler is about to compete, this is the part where I get my necessary refreshments…. hang on, Slater is fighting??? Hang on he could pick up another win here!

OH SNAP!!!! Too much focus on trying to beat on The Miz’s money-maker, Slater wins by count-out!!!! YES!!! (don’t expect me to support Slater again…)

Terrible sportsmanship by Ziggler, why he had to drop the Zig-Zag super move on Slater? All Slater did was held out his hand to say good game to Ziggler… and you support this fool…. I am appalled!

While Randall Teef Orton Battles Sheamus, and everyone on Facebook is putting R.I.P. Robin Williams, I just wanna take this time to give a shout out to a comedian that I personally miss…..

Live On Live Long Uncle Phil

…like I knew Randall was gonna win this, but it was how…. so here’s me looking on the Real Ebony Babes FB page, when I heard – BLAOW!!!! RKO to Sheamus as he left the top ropes! Yep – An RKO out of nowhere!!!! BORING – okay it was a good wrestling contest, which a few feel it should have been for the US title (Don’t ask me why – ask STC member Anthony Cardenas) I would rather see an altercation between Reigns and Randall… that’s how I see it anyway!

STC Summerslam banner

Enough foolishness! we have a birthday to celebrate!!!! Hulk Hogan SALUTE!!!!

Shout out to Mean Gene Okerlund and Jimmy Hart! Anyone would think WrestleMania is coming!

An emotional and epic video package for Hulk Hogan right there, I just wish it was that Jimi Hendrix tune they rocked for it though!

They even got Hulk Hogan promoting the network! It’s $9.99 brother! And you jabronies don’t wanna buy it? You cheap arse muthaf***az – GET IN THE CHAIR!

OH SNAP!!!! Nature Boy Ric Flair in the building brother! My grandma would be proud god bless her soul! Dayum Mr Wonderful Paul Orndoff is here! BACK FOOT! Teach the kids their wrestling history! His theme is epic rude boy!

Roddy Piper is here too! I can’t lie, that wasn’t a surprise! Piper looks like he still got beef with Hogan from all those years back!

NO! NOT THE NWO MUSIC! Kevin Nash & Scott Hall are here! In their NWO colours!!! Who said Scott Hall was in a wheelchair? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Hey Scott Hall – we started that Survey Says sh!t – you keep the…. UH OH….BROCK LESNAR???!!! OH MY GOD!!! He can’t crash the party!

About time Cena turned up! If he never turned up…bwoy…. you know what I would have loved??? If Unde…..Ah forget it!!!!!

Oh by the way… what was that about Sting turning up on Raw???? GET IN THE CHAIR!!!!!

Remember now…it’s all about Summerslams…. if you can’t get in da club, you have yourself to blame!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

 

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#GWARNYUHBED

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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