Monday Night Raw #1110: September 1, 2014!!!

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The Infamous Informer

UK – We are about ONE MONTH AWAY from Chris B£^O!+ Part II Day… Some of you look confused… I’m talking about October 1, 2014 when the WWE Network touches down on our shores finally! But the question remains – will it be £9.99??? Why are we the last country to get it? And if it is £9.99, then The Grant Says – We are about to be ripped the f**k off! Because $9.99 works out to £6.01 at time of this post.

Before I jump off with this week’s Raw Blog, I wanna big up Cage Amateurs UK, they blessed me with a nice T-Shirt to represent officially! BIG RESPECT! LOVE IS LOVE!

It looks great on me... don't you think???

ANNNND NOWWWW, It’s time for the main event of the evening! I got my Supermalt, Hula Hoops, Mint Chocolate Penguins, Apple Pies (For the divas – No I don’t do that American Pie sh!t – dude you nassssty!) The Infamous Informer is ready! Are You Ready? NO – I SAID… ARRRRRE….YOUUUUUU… READDDDDDDDY!!!!!

Then, for the thousands in attendance, for the millions of viewers watching around the world, and for my readers reading this sh!t…. RAW #1110…. LET’S GET READY TO HOLD DAT – BLAOWWWW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZHAPPY LABOR DAY TO OUR PEOPLES ACROSS THE POND! We don’t have that over here… England is WACK man, we have to pay tax and sh!t, if we work overtime all that sh!t gets taxed too.. We work too dyam hard and we don’t get rewarded?? F**K YOU CAMERON!

Wait a minute… Jericho is about to run the Highlight Reel with special guest Randall Teef Orton, but why the rarse is the Authority out here??? They got beef with Jericho??? What did he do? All he did was call Steph a two dollar slut…. that was 14 years ago though yo!!!

Oh snap Jericho just insulted them all… you know Triple will make him pay for that! But Triple has been contemplating sending for a new #1 contender for Brock’s title…. Suddenly Randall, Glenn, Seth Rollins and Jericho all putting their names in the hat…

Cena comes out, and he’s actually entertaining me here! He’s got a point! Triple changes the match – Cena can take Triple to court, win the case, take over as COO of the joint and FIRE Triple’s @$$!! Can he do that??? I dunno man… Triple is a McMahon…BY MARRIAGE!

Randall & Seth Rollins just had to call Roman’s name didn’t he??? INJUSTICE! Roman Reigns is coming down the stairs! He wants in too! If Hell In The Cell was the next PPV, if I was Triple, I’d throw them all in that muthaf***a, but I’m not the COO, and I got WWE’14… and the PPV is Night of Champions so… Triple’s like, 6 man tag in this b!tch! Triple is gonna watch from ringside, then he will make a decision on who gets the spot… Hmmm… Triple threat jump off at Night of Champions??? I don’t know what to make of that!

YO IWC!!! Yeah I’m talking you, you stupid muthaf***az on the chat stream where I’m watching this…. all I see is you lot running down the show and how Triple botched his line saying ‘WWWE’…. Well The Grant Says – GET YOUR B!TCH @$$ OFF THE STREAM, YOU’RE NOT PAYING $9.99 FOR THIS SH!T, AND F**K OFF AND WATCH THE ONLY WAY IS ESSEX WHERE FAGGOTS LIKE YOU CAN IDENTIFY… YOU NO PU$$Y GETTING MUTHAF***AZ!

What’s going on here? Tag Team contest between Sheamus/Dolph Vs Miz/Cesaro? I got mixed feelings about this because I like two of the four guys… put it like this – whoever loses – I WIN!

Wait a minute – who is that woman with Damien Mizdow???? Y’all know what to do – tweet me at @MZATheInfamous!

Crowd are chanting – We Want Ziggler, Well The Grant is chanting – Grant wants cookies!!! So with that said, I’ll be right back…

…and I came back just in time! The Miz hit Ziggler with the Skull Crushing Finale! Ziggler fails to answer the 3, and the money-maker is in tact!!!! SUPERB!!! I told ya – whoever loses – I WIN!!!! SWEET!!!

Ok Bella time – go on IWC jabronies – go to the toilet, get your wank on because the Bellas – according to you – can’t act…. weSAM_3700 don’t need you muthaf***az! Ladies! Stay with me a little while… let’s talk Bellas!

Wait a minute – back in the days Brie stole Nikki’s boyfriend???? I think Nikki’s telling lies – they were IDENTICAL TWINS – I say WERE because back then Nikki didn’t buy any t!tt!£$! The GRANT SAYS – You and Brie play trick pon di bwoy and him never know he was having sex with the twin! I know these things happen – I read Dear Deidre in THE SUN!!!!!

These divas need no introduction – just my cocky to go hard! Rosa Mendes/Cameron & Eva Marie Vs Naomi/Layla & Summer Rae in one ring!!!!

Oh hang on – this 1 minute match was just to promote Total Divas??? But Layla is not in there????? Unless she’s gonna make a special appearance??!

Remember back in the days? When women would sing songs like ‘short d!ck man’ and ‘One Minute Man’ and ‘Don’t Think I’m Not’, you know all them male bashing songs??? This is a Man’s World divas… we put YOU in one minute matches…. now take out my majestic member, and put it between your wet lips! And suck!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Wait a minute – Big Show/Mark Henry vs The Wyatt bwoy dem???? AGAIN? I saw this sh!t last week! And the week before! They going on like they never wrestled before! I love all four guys but The Grant Says – f**k this match!!!! I’m gonna watch some babe station…

Uh oh…. Rusev & Lana are out to cause trouble…I see you Lana, checking out Sexual Chocolate…. It’s what women do… they are happy with one man until someone better comes along! Rusev – you gon’ lose yo’ woman… it won’t be straight away, but the countdown has begun!

Oh snap – Story #2…. Nikki passed her driving test, Brie failed, so what happened? Brie drove the car and crashed it… and gave the police Nikki’s driver’s license??? Ooooooh bad Brie – BAAAAAAAAD Brianna! Doesn’t Danny Bryan spank Brie’s @$$ for her crimes back in the day? First she steals Nikki’s man – now this???

Ok I’m gonna get some jokes now! Paul Heyman is here to deliver another award-winning promo!!!

Oh lawwwd – His client – BRRRRROCCCK LESSSSNARRR – Emasculated John Cena!!!!! That is the word of the week!

Good lord I need to use that word!!!! Oh no look who’s back…. that Zeb Colter…. god damnit, I thought Rusev got rid of him???

Wack Swagger Vs Curtis Axel???? F**k this match! Watch this instead…

Why have I got a feeling that when this dude comes back, is curtains for the Main Title Picture??

HA! HA! HA! What a motivational speech by Bo Dallas!!! He displayed three people, down in the dumps because of Swagger’s failure, and now Bo Dallas looks up to Vladimir Putin! OH SH!T!!! We gotta get that picture – put up the picture!

Vladimir_Putin_-_2006

Everyone stand up! Put your hand over your heart, and all you have to do, is BO-LIEVE!!! I agree with JAY-BEE – this man is an inspiration to us all! Lana would be so proud!!!

Adam Rose Vs Titus O’Neill? I want to support Titus so much… but this is just stupidness – Maybe the Primetime Players should reform – I can’t believe I just said that….

Wait a minute – the bunny can now fight??? and brukk up Heath Slater??? Who the f**k is playing the bunny? Flo-rida??? Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Ok pay attention… now for episode 3 of this Bella sh!t… oh no! Brie nearly didn’t graduate? So Nikki took Brie’s exams instead and the teacher didn’t notice because they were twins???? Goodness gracious!!!!! BRIANNA BELLA! You cheated!!! How could you do this??? So w’happen…Nikki’s IQ is higher than yours Brie? I find that amusing, since Brie achieved her goals and married a good man while Nikki wants to marry someone who came out of a marriage and doesn’t want kids… that’s not very smart Nikki!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh no – Lana is back…. she’s gonna run down Labor Day!!!! She can’t do that!!! Is that Wack Dryder back there??? HA! RUSEV – CRUSH!!!! And he does… Isn’t Labor Day a day where Americans don’t work? So why the f**k is Wack Dryder working???

Bless Stephanie’s heart! She wants to help the Bellas in their current turmoil! What a nice young lady eh? If he employees have a problem, her ‘door’ is always open… well The GRANT SAYS – Steph, I have a problem in my pants!! I believe your door is open! After all I do kinda work for you! I write these WWE blogs every week entertaining the readers, I work for you for free! I have a song for you Steph… and it goes a lil something like this:

I’m not an American citizen, so I don’t celebrate Labor Day so Steph, I’ll be your ‘Worker Man’!!!

Hang on… all these confessions… for a Divas title shot???? Wait a minute – does AJ and Paige know about this???

See! AJ has to skip out here! INJUSTICE!!!! Where’s your frenemy at AJ? Oh no why the f**k are the crowd chanting THAT

Meme courtesy of Lee Steadx

name??? F**k!ng get over it you faggots!

So hold on – Nikki wants Brie to QUIT? I get it!!!! I smell an I QUIT MATCH! I’m not sure if Nikki will get that Title shot with Paige, but if the Bellas clash – that’s where it’s going!

One other thing – did you see the altercation between Stephanie & AJ? Brie pushed down Nikki and caught Paige in the process, AJ starts skipping around with the Divas belt and skipped right into Stephanie who used her iron fist lyrically and told AJ to give her the belt…. do we smell a future feud between AJ Lee & Stephanie???? I hope so! The thing I fear though – it will start muthaf**az off, believing that this feud will be the key of Philip getting off his b!tch @$$ and coming back to WWE…

Hol’ on – Next week Cage Match jump off – Bray Wyatt Vs Chris Jericho… I have advice for you Jericho… take a steel chair and beat down the Wyatt bwoy dem! take them out BEFORE the PPV – it won’t be easy, but take example what happened to Cena – his beloved kids turned on his @$$!

Cena Wyatt kid

Oh no that is baaaaaaad! Why did The Dust Brudda have to use a steel chair and f**k up the USO Brudda’s leg yo??? I’m sorry to say this USOs… it’s the beginning of the end of your tag team title reign…..

What’s that Triple TEEF doing back out here??? Oh yeah I forgot he wants to watch this match right here…but hear the joke, earlier Triple botched TWICE – he said Seth Rollins teams up with Randy Orton and the ‘Demon Kane’… I don’t see no Kane… I see Glenn… Kane usually comes out in a mask and sets people on fire and tombstones people for fun… this Glenn – wears school trousers and sh!t!

I’m not gonna even talk about this match because I’m sure you guys worked out what happened… but some dude named Michael Sam is appearing on Raw next week…. I’m not familiar with American Football so call that what you will.

THE GRANT SAYS – Does one guy truly make a difference? Maybe… I mean the IWC are on Ambrose’s d!ck lately because he’s a cross between Austin and Brian Pillman in terms of personality… and because he’s filming a movie suddenly Raw sucks… well in a way it’s true… wasn’t really feeling Raw you know… You know when the kettle boiled for Summerslam, but the unused water remains in the kettle and goes luke warm? It needs boiling again…

#VOCAREADREGNUM!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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