So Vincent Kennedy gets me all hyped up because WWE Network is not only coming to the UK, but the first month is free and I get all the content including the Survivor Series… 8pm Monday he said, I could sign up… did the YES chant like his name was Danny Bryan… all day I was like ‘Come on…. Come on!!!!’ Like my name was Cartman… then at approximately 7.48pm, a tweet from WWE Network says – the UK sh!t is delayed until further notice… Fans are furious, and whoever is responsible for the failure of this task has gotta be fired for their incompetence surely…
Not to worry, I got my ginger nut biscuits. My fruit twist fanta. What else I got? My Jamaican Ginger Cake, I got some apple pies back there. WWE2K15 on PS3 LOCK OFF, Sophia Lares on babestation on standby just in case and I’m waiting for the new Wu-Tang joint to drop on Hot 97. LIFE IS GOOD! RAW #1119! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!
Yo… if they unleash the new Wu-Tang joint while RAW is on, then forgive my negligence for RAW this week. WWE deserve it anyway, for gassing me up for the blasted Network and then pulling the plug-in the 9th inning…
Word on the street is Sheamus defends his WWE US Title against Rusev exclusively on the network after Raw… yeah rub it in muthaf***az….
HOLY SH!T!!!! Suddenly I’m not angry with the Network! VINCENT KENNEDY HIMSELF IS HERE!!!!
“Have you missed me???” HELL YEAH I’ve missed you Vincent Kennedy! Oh sh!t – he’s talking about what the UK have been steel chaired in the head on…
HOLY SH!T!!! Say what??? If the Authority loses the Survivor Series match…. The Authority is SHUT DOWN???!!! When Vincent Kennedy comes out, you know sh!t is about to go down!
See we all marking out about that sh!t, but we don’t know what happens if Cena’s team loses….
Damn I missed that Trick or Street Fight match between Ambrose & Cesaro on Smackdown.. word on the street is Cesaro is gonna get brukk up every week because he was talking sh!t about Cena in an interview…. you know only the IWC can talk sh!t about Cena!!! No more King of Swing… none of that sh!t!
Look who’s appeared to watch this match-up? Bray Wyatt! Where’s your popcorn homie?!!!!
As soon as Ambrose beat Cesaro, Bray Wyatt garne about his business!
Right we just learned that Seth Rollins is the ‘leader’ of Team Authority… damnit I was hoping for Triple Teef himself to dust off the hammer!!!!
Triple sounds like he can count on Randall… Stephanie already knows how Randall has voices in his head top and they chat to him???? You don’t trust snakes…. especially a Viper??!!!!
So hang on, when did the Bella Twins pass the baton on to the USOs to do the twin magic super move???
It should say at the bottom – WWE Network is free all month for new subscribers…. except you muthaf***az in the UK!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
Oh dear as much as the crowd loves the USOs, they don’t like when they kicked down Mizdow! That is how OVER MizDow is with the fans!
So dayuuum! Sheamus has to do double time! He’s competing in a match…. then after that he’s out again to defend the title! Can you imagine if Rusev wins on WWE Network that everyone around the world can watch for FREE except the UK???
Considering what happened on Total Divas…. I’m surprised that Nattie is still supporting her husband Tyson Kidd in this match against Sheamus…. I wonder what it took to bring them back together…
AWWWW – TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!! Tyson & Sheamus, fighting on the outside, then Tyson puts Nattie in harm’s way and uses her as a shield, thus Sheamus losing by count out! He deserves to get kick down by Sheamus – BLAOW! Will Sheamus do that to Rusev? well I can’t tell you… because I’ll be in my bed bussin ZZZzzzzzzzz’s by then!
Bloody Hell Dolph Ziggler is actually wearing decent attire…. his entrance music is still pu$$yfied though…
Ok this is how it goes down: Glenn would be joining Seth in the team… along with Randall???? I dunno man!!! We all forsee Randall f**k!n it up for the Authority don’t we?
Oh I see what’s going on here! Triple Teef is working brain with Ziggler! He’s exposing the fact that Ziggler is far from God but he works God Damn Hard! Could Triple turn Ziggler evil here?
Oh snap!!! Ziggler just refered to the stooges as ‘jabronies’!!!!! Can he do that? I bet The Rock is laughing right now!
OH SH!T! Triple deserves an award for this! He just threw darts at the IWC if Ziggler gets f**ked up!!!! He called you all 12 year olds who tweet your displeasure! HA! HA! HA! Now look what you done Ziggler! You gotta fight Seth Rollins for your IC title…. I’m backing Rollins here… I hope he curb stomps your b!tch @$$ out!
Jerry Lawler – Don’t sing ‘Oh Happy Day’ too early just in case the Authority wins at Survivor Series! That’s like a contestant on Deal Or No Deal discovering a few blues before discovering the £250,000!
So yeah, who would take over if Team Authority lost? Teddy Long? Hulk Hogan? Eric Bisc – WAIT A MINUTE!!! Randall Orton! RKO to Seth Rollins – BLAOW!!!! OH SH!T!!!
Anyway back to this thought…Who would take over? Paul Heyman? Stone Cold Steve Austin? RIC FLAIR N!&&@??!!!!
Dayuuum it’s all poppin off! Triple’s like: Ok Randall, this is how it goes down! You and Seth Rollins must fight…. after that, you get it out your systems, then we go to war against Team Thuganomics! Because I’ll be damned if we lose to a team that refuses to kick out at 2!
WHAT THE F**K was that with all those eyes??? That was very Wyatt-ish…. dude… if BDSIR Network boss man Mike Knoxxx is scared of Bray Wyatt…. he’s a strappin black man… maybe it’s not shameful for me to be afraid of him??? He’s that Children of the Corn flava… that movie is disturbing yo… I never want to see that film ever again!
Do you know what I wanna know? Why is Titus O Neill a jobber? Don’t get me wrong I like Ryback but bwoy…. Titus should be killin’ sh!t right now!
Do you know what else I wanna know? Where’s Curtis Axel at? Never mind Renée Young is on…
Looks like Team Cena got The Big Show! Oh snap – Mark Henry ate at Big Show’s yard? They played WWE2K15 together? They went on the pull and all that? Dropping two foot with the women at Faces nightclub Wolverhampton? And this is what Mark Henry does????
THAT’S WHAT I DO!!!
Well two bad bull meet up! The Big Show! Mark Henry! Reinforce the ring yes! Last time the ring brukk up! If Team Cena got Big Show, you think Team Authority gonna get Mark Henry?
Dayuum Big Show is killing Mark Henry with those elbow drops yo! Look at Triple & Glenn looking on! They tryna assemble their team!
That’s it Cole, keep reminding us to subscribe to that blasted network for free… knowing full well that we can’t have it! That’s like dangling a KFC in my face and the doctor says I’m on a 24 hour fast!
Mark Henry just inducted Big Show into the Hall of Pain! World’s strongest Slam on the steel steps BLAOW!!!! THAT’S
WHAT I DO!!! And throw the shirt over Big Show!!!! That’s my dawg right there!!!!
WWE Network has a 90% satisfaction rate????? Right now the UK has a 0% satisfaction rate!
Oh sh!t! I’m glad Nikki shut down that interview with Brie… but Renée turned to her left… looks like she got an admirer… Eric Rowan????!!!! He wants to put it in!!
Well wouldn’t you????
Ok AJ Lee is out here… and normally I would cuss the crowd if they chant THAT name… but I’m bex with WWE & Sky Sports… and I’m not usually bex like that so f**k it… chant his name – CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!
That felt good! GRANT BODY – P!!!
Come on Brie! If Nikki told you to slap AJ across her face at least make it convincing! My sister would have done it and said – ‘That’s for marrying that idiot CM P**K!!!!
WTF was all that about? A New Day is coming? You got that right! F**k what’s happening on Raw – it’s only Wack Ryder… the new WU-TANG JOINT IS HERE!
CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW! (I can do what I want – this is my blog muthaf***a!!!)
UH-OH!!!! Stephanie looking to recruit Rusev into Team Authority????? If he joins…. it’s definitely CURTAINS for Team Cena!
Look at The Authority applauding Randall!!!! They are so proud of him! F**k that – look at Lillian Garcia… She’s that chick – you have to make LOVE to her… you can’t f**k her… that’s just WRONG!!! Now Nikki Bella – I would f**k… Lana – I would f**k… but Lillian? You make LOVE to her yo! You put on that Raheem DeVaughn music and let that passionate side come out!
Good lord – Randall is f**kin up Rollins! I bet Rollins wished he was in that Hell In a Cell now!
Dayuum Triple Teef must be stressed! he had to loosen his collar and tie!
Say what? Seth Rollins wins???? WOW!!!!! You think Randall is gonna take the L like a man?
Seems like it, he’s shaking the hands with the authority….
MAYBE NOT! RKO to Rollins again – BLAOW!!! Randall’s a one man army! He even boxed down Triple Teef! The voices in his head are in full force! They are chatting to him! Until the Authority got the better of him, and Seth Rollins hit the curb stomp on Randall off the steel steps – BLAOW!!! Busted his head open and sh!t!!! That will stop the voices for sure!!!
Randall Keith Orton has turned good people… all because of YOU! Your viral vines did it! But we will get confirmation once he officially joins Team Cena! I hope you IWC muthaf***az got your fap on when you saw blood…. I don’t care about the WWE Network anymore – I wanna hear that Wu-Tang joint… Wu-Tang AGAIN? AAH YEAH AGAIN & AGAIN!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.