SmackDown Live: January 29, 2015

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The Infamous Informer

“Say Hello to the Bad Guy, they say I am the Bad Guy, I come from the bottom, but now I’m mad fly, they say I’m a menace that’s the picture they paint, they say a lot about me, let me tell you what I ain’t!!!”

WWE: Make it happen. Make this the new theme for Roman Reigns. All he did was win the Royal Rumble and muthaf***az are crying like the true B!TCHES that they are. Shame about Danny, I’m glad it wasn’t Ziggler with his half-queer @$$… you mean to tell me that if three-man are beating down one man, you as a family member, would not help out your flesh and blood? You fans are OFFICIAL JABRONIES… OK! GET OVER IT! Roman Reigns is ready for the war against BRRRROCK LESSNAR… Oh I get it, YOU want to be the World Wrestling Federation Champion! YOU want to main event WrestleMania!!! Ha! You see what listening to a b!tch who sits down crosses his legs and begs for ice creams does to ya? MAN UP, AND SHUDDUP!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

The Blizzard shut Raw down, but it ain’t laying the SMACKDOWN! LETS DO THIS! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwe-smackdown-logo-20154Welcome to Monday Night Raw???? Er Triple???? Is Stephanie’s pu$$y playing tricks on you???!!!

Damn! Triple talking ‘balls’ on a PG show!!!!! Superbowl put on BLAST!!!

I like how Triple mentions the Rumble, crowd booing then he switches up to the Triple Threat Match… big ups to WWE for putting Seth Rollins in the equation.

Wait a minute – Triple gonna make an announcement that will end the controversy??? Shake the WWE to its core???? UH-OHHHHH!!! suddenly Monday seems so far away! You know I’m supposed to be somewhere first thing in the morning?? Well f**k that – I’m staying up – I’m gonna be a Wu-soldier! Raw, plus the interview with Austin & Triple? Sorry – that’s UNMISSABLE TV!

WTF – Vincent Kennedy in the hiz-house as well???? Now I’m thinking – Roman Reigns winning was BEST FOR BUSINESS!!! Those chanting Roman Sucks – well you paid your money, that’s how you feel but you’re missing the point! D!CKHEAD!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

That’s an interesting submission by Big Show… can’t say I’ve seen that before!!! A standing single leg boston crab? Vincent Kennedy is here – remember Big Show you gotta make him look strong!!!

Big Show with the chokeslam to Roman Reigns! I suppose you fools are gonna start posting ‘Reigns kick out at 2′ memes aren’t you IWC b!tches!!!!

Vincent Kennedy just showed up to tell us that my WWE Network is FREE throughout February! Er I got the email thank you! But it was great to hear your voice! He could have done the power walk – come on!!! He shut down the IWC protest!!!

BIG UP ARNOLD SCHWARZNEGGER!!! Newest inductee in the WWE Hall Of Fame!! I see y’all hating again… it’s the celebrity wing muthaf***a! Do you want Arnold to brukk you up like he did Triple???

Shout out to Seth Rollins – he lost in the triple threat match and STILL feels good about it? I admire his positivity… issues an open challenge – and Ryback wants to test him? So does Erick Rowan and Dolph Ziggler it seems!!! Well Rollins, you said – open challenge.. if you’re so good – why don’t you test all three guys? (remind me to set up a stable for these three on WWE2K15…)

Damn Kane is on his devil’s favourite demon self! Er you forgot your mask Kane!!!! Are you gonna set Danny on fire if you put him in the box????

I see the WrestleMania 31 sign… so you know Jey Uso & Tyson Kidd must fight their best!!!! Natalya and Naomi in each corner… OHHHHHHHH!!!! Naomi.. I gotta song for you, and it goes a lil’ something like this…

Damn Rusev gets more time on the mic than Lana???? That’s not cool!!!! SHUT-TUP!!!!! Oh here’s Cena…. all is well!

SHOTGUN by Cena! “I was US champion before you had pubes and you had boobs!!!!” Cena is killing Rusev & Lana!!!

You mean to tell me Rusev ain’t stepping up after he was talking sh!t!!! But Rusev is undefeated! He’s 69 and HO!

Mike Dogg in his 20s

I’m sorry Rusev but I smell something… you smell something man??? I smell… I smell… I SMELL PUTIN!!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Fast Lane jump off – Nikki Bella Vs Paige for the Divas title! WHOA!!! That says to me something special is brewing

for the divas for WrestleMania! How are the Bellas gonna cuss Paige about her skin tone? That’s MY JOB!

Even the Ascension’s promos are reminiscent of the Legion Of Doom! The question remains – does Animal from the LOD/Road Warriors have one last mean clothesline left in him???

What was all that about from Mr Wyatt??? What makes me smile??? Er good hip hop, and good WWE sh!t! That sh!t that makes me mark the f**k out! And I sincerely hope I’m gonna see some good sh!t here – It’s the main event! Danny Bryan Vs Kane! Someone is gonna get put in that casket! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

Danny Bryan Vs Kane Casket

Come on Danny! Bury that fool I once called my hero! So he can resurrect as the monster he should be! Stop this Sunday School Trousers nonsense!

Imagine, when Kane & Undertaker are no longer with the company… we won’t see Casket matches or buried alive matches anymore… it will be a sad day when the Brothers of Destruction are no more…

Many references to the don of dons himself… stop getting me gassed yo!!!!

Jerry Lawler is killing me yo! He’s scared of them caskets! Don’t be scared Jerry! What if a sexy diva appears out of those things with puppies??? that would f**k him up for sure!

Notice – Brie Bella is not worried about becoming a widow! She would get all of Danny’s assets!!! GOLDDIGGA!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Danny holding his surgically repaired neck in the battle – don’t let Kane see that! Or else 3 tombstones await!

OH SNAP!!!! Danny managed to put Kane in the casket!!!!! LAWD HAVE MERCY!!!! Danny – I’d run for the hills chanting YES! now!!!!

I am ashamed!!!! Undertaker would never lose a casket match! His matches are legendary! If he loses, it’s because it takes 20 man to destroy him! That’s why he’s the Don of DONS! Enough of this sh!t – I’m off to watch some classic Kane sh!t on WWE Network – that match with Shane-O-Mac in the Ambulance match… that was the sh!t!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

#GETINTHECHAIR!

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER!!! STC 4 LIFE…………….BEEEEEEEAAAAAATTTTCCCHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.

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