Monday Night Raw #1136, March 2, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I wanna give a shout out to my Facebook friend Lesley Steelergirl a.k.a. WuSteelah for tagging me in the House Party 90s mix on my Facebook page… back then, you needed to learn to dance. No holding a beer and acting a fool to these classics!!!

Before I move on let me put y’all wrestling jabronies at ease. Jon Stewart is NOT gonna fight Seth Rollins at WrestleMania…dunno where y’all got the idea from fool!

Plus: #FCUKDIRTSHEETS! They are the devil. They are designed to make you moan and b!tch over WrestleMania.

Plus: Quit all this Brock Lesnar talk. It is all swerves (probably by WWE themselves to make you take your mind off the main event and show how gullible you are.

With all that said…Let’s do this sh!t! RAW #1136, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ14,781 cats on deck this week!!!! New Jersey represent!!!

See Seth Rollins be talking sh!t about beating down Jon Stewart… INJUSTICE!!! Roman Reigns must come down the stairs!!!! All the ladies trying to touch him up, hoping to grope his front!!!! (Nicola Box I see you!!!)

Ha ha Don’t give me joke Rollins! You would what? Out rap Wiz Khalifa??? You probably can! Wiz Khalifa is WACK!!!

WTF? Am I hearing CM P**K chants in the building???? Ok all 14,781 of you are all B!TCHES!!!!

…and Dean F**k!n Ambrose is still walking round with the Intercontinental Title!!!! I wonder, did he put it in the fridge at home??? Wade Barrett – what sort of champ are you if you can’t look after your tingz? You can’t even handle Alicia Fox, let alone title!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I know Seth did not tell Randall that he can out wrestle ANYONE on the WWE roster….. Right calling it now – Randall wins at WrestleMania by simply – out wrestling Rollins… Rollins could possibly cash his cheque for real!

Looks like the trend #GiveTruthAChance has worked! R-Truth is now in the Intercontinental Ladder Match at WrestleMania! This match right here, I can’t call, and that’s how I like my WrestleMania matches…

Sounds like Luke Harper wants in!!! He took off with the Intercontinental title!!! He can’t do that!!! And Shadfather, that is not a distraction roll up… they must have listened to you man! Ambrose took advantage of the distraction, Dirty Deeds to Barrett – BLAOW!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! Sandow just shut the Miz down!!! The Miz stars in the latest commercial – Niagra! You know what that is? A product that helps erectile dysfunction! Oh my days – shamed in front of Summer Rae, Paige, Cameron and others!!!! That ain’t PG surely!!!! Maryse can you confirm this???? The Miz can’t put in work????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Ha! The New face of fear???? I don’t fear that fool with a lantern??? I don’t follow the buzzards??? I’m not down with that sh!t!

I like Wyatt’s leather jacket though! Watch da ryde – this is gonna be a casket match…. remember I told ya…

So is that how it goes down? You gonna set the casket on fire??? If you ask me Undertaker’s making you look like a fool right now! He’s just ignoring yo’ @$$! You’re playing yourself homie! It’s like Jay-Z responding to all these other idiots… you only get half a bar…. F**K Y’ALL N!&&@$!

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIR

I was wondering when this match was gonna happen….Usos & Naomi Vs Cesaro/Tyson & Natalya!!!!

John Cena has gone on record and said that Cesaro is underrated….interesting!

Why would Tyson Kidd tag in his injured wife? That wasn’t very smart! My girl Naomi gets the win – that’s what’s up!!!!

#NaomiMatters

Whoa Whoa Whoa wait a minute – Cena – you can’t enter the André The Giant Battle Royal???? Oh boy the Anti-Cenation ain’t gonna like that! Even Stephanie thought – has this man watched the news??? Holy sh!t Stephanie just put Cena on blast and the fans love it!!!!! Now AxelMania wants in the battle royal? WHOA!!! He could win! Crowd chanting AxelMania! Maybe Axel not being in the Rumble, must have been a blessing! Oh snap – Curtis Axel ripped his shirt!!! I wonder what Hogan must be thinking? Cena has warned Axel… he’s gonna f**k him up! Or to put it in Wrestling nerd terms, he’s gonna ‘bury’ Axel!!! I’d never thought I’d say this but…COME ON AXEL!!!! This could be a Cena/Angle moment from 2002!

GOD DAMNIT!!!! Axel you couldn’t do better than that????

Hold up – Rusev is here! Will he change his mind about challenging Cena??? Uh oh don’t chant USA-USA-USA! Now look what you 14,781 jabronies have done… Rusev says NO!

Just for the record, The WrestleMania theme tune is WACK!!!! David Guetta f**kouttahere!

But now time for Triple Teef to say his usual ‘I am the game-errrr…’ ‘Sting is not ready-errrrr…’ ‘ it took him 14 years – errrrrr!!!!’GRANT BODY THRONE - P

Uh-oh, what does Triple want with Booker-T? Oh man Wrestlemania XIX… brings back horrible memories….

OH SH!T!!!!! Triple put the IWC on blast again!!! MAXIMUM POINTS TRIPLE! Don’t ruin it now….

MUTHAF***A…. He fired Booker-T???? The day after his birthday? THAT’S F**KED UP…

Thank god Triple was f**k!n with Booker…. you get your points back…

Divas title jump off!!!! Paige Vs Nikki Bella…. still backing the full-bodied gold digger here!

I mean, look at Nikki’s skin tone… I don’t understand how you guys love Paige? Milk of Magnesia NO THANK YOU!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Dayum Nikki pulled off the Alabama Slam? Nikki gets maximum props from me, I think… spinebuster???? Seriously I think Nikki’s wrestling skills have surpassed that of Brie!

TEEEEEEEEEF!! Paige had the match won! She had the PTO submission super move! Brie Bella putting the boots on Paige! Next minute AJ Lee comes out!!!! She still got beef with the Bellas! WROOOOY! 14,781 on their feet! Chanting CM P**K…. Ok I’m DUN. NEW JERSEY YOU ARE DICK-RIDING B!TCHES. Get em Vince…..

OH NO NOT THE DAILY SHOW WITH SETH ROLLINS?!!! This is bound to be funny!

Thank you stupid stream, I missed half that sh!t… but Jon Stewart is here! I pay £9.99 for this WWE Network – why can’t they put RAW on there???

Seth Rollins daily show

Damn First Stephanie, now Jon Stewart put Seth Rollins on BLAST! Told him about himself! That he’s wack! He doesn’t earn sh!t like Bruno, Gorilla Monsoon, Undertaker! The Money Inna Bank briefcase – he didn’t earn that sh!t! WHOA!!! Rollins can’t take the pressure! tries to beat him up… but he kicks him in his tools! Jon Stewart hung out with the Wu-Tang Clan… He ain’t sweating no Rollins!

So basically this Intercontinental storyline… the guys involved are in turn stealing Barrett’s title… looks like Danny might want in as well…. but silence… the latest HOF inductee…

Madusa Alundra Blayze

Dayum Alundra/Madusa! I have a weakness for legs… see? Vincent Kennedy is a forgiving man, she dashed the women’s title in the bin at WCW and still inducted her… he’s a good man!

51 years old…. I’d still hit that!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Paul Heyman – YOU ARE THE F**K!N MAN – OK!!!! Lesnar rumours SHUT DOWN ONE TIME – See that’s why I can’t stand wrestling fans because like Triple H said – y’all think you know everything but really you don’t know SH!T!!!!

Paul’s promo was so don, that the mic died 3 times over…. why doesn’t Heyman get nominated for best mic skills? Sorry Bray, you can’t test him!

Paul brought up that word again – EMASCULATED!!!! I don’t think Roman Reigns is like John Cena at Summerslam! He ain’t gonna let Lesnar suplex him 16 times!

…and as usual, Seth Rollins is here taking on Roman Reigns, Rollins got his peoples behind him… so TEEF! OH SNAP!!! Randall Teef Orton is here!!!! Who the viper gonna strike first?

Randall is just relaxing over the other side of the ring! Without a care in the world like – I’m just here to read the comments on some Michael Jackson popcorn sh!t…

Or maybe not! Randall cost Reigns the match! But that only angered Reigns as he took the whole authority! Spears left and right! Haters admitting that was a good spear… that’s because you were supporting Reigns in the beginning in the Shield days you fickle dickhead!

Notice – Reigns destroyed everyone except Orton… Orton is like – All the pieces are in place and it’s my game… because that’s what it is!

Stars of this week – Stephanie, Jon Stewart and Paul Heyman…. the way they put their targets on blast was incredible….

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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