Monday Night Raw #1137, March 9, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I have a question for y’all, If Biggie Smalls was alive, do you think he would have appeared on WWE? Do you think he would have performed at a RAW or WrestleMania??? I say he would have. People say that if Big & Pac were alive, we wouldn’t have guys like Wiz Khalifa, who IS performing, that’s the part where I take my essential toilet break… unless of course he gets interrupted by BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAR!!!

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse, and if Khalifa gets BUSS ARSE, I will……LAAAAAAAUGGGH!!!!!

Biggie Smalls Is Da Illest! RAW #1137, HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZThe Authority are proud of Randall Keith Orton!!!! Little do they know that Randall is playing them all!!! B!TCHES!!!

Listen to the Authority d!ck riding Randall!!! See Randall is like that dude – Agito Makashima… don’t know who he is? He’s the DON in the Guyver Anime Series! GUYVER III MUTHAF***A!

GUYVER 3Randall is gonna go all the way with this!!!!! Just like an undercover cop!!!!

Oh snap! Randall’s putting the Authority on BLAST!!!! It’s true – they are supposed to be OFFICIAL bad mans!!! They are acting like b!tches!!!!

Remember just a few years back you jabronies were saying Randy Boreton??? Remember that???? Now you cheer him…. Who’s changed???? HA! EXPOSED!!!!


They got that first segment done in just under 15 minutes! Very good!!!!

What the hell is Stardust doing with the IC Title??? Damn the IC title is getting f**ked like Suzette!!!! (Who’s Suzette???) I don’t know… ask GZA!!!! (Wu-Tang fans know what I did there!)

See that’s why me nah support Wade Barrett again, lost to Danny Bryan, he can’t tek di pressure… hits the bullhammer on Danny while he was celebrating… little biatch… next minute Dean F**k!ng Ambrose comes out and claps down Barrett!!! Haha!!!!

Doesn’t look like Goldust vs Stardust is running at WrestleMania at all… that’s cool with me still… I can ride to that! Goldust in the Battle Royal maybe? Stardust in the ladder match? No problems here!

Er Stardust… leaving the IC Title on the ring post doesn’t sound too smart!

What I wanna know is, how come Wade Barrett hasn’t come for his title???? What is he a sissy???? HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh here he is! Wade tryna beat on Ambrose, but he’s brought Ziggler, Harper, Danny and Stardust in the brawl!

I love this IC storyline!!!! Now we got 7 cats fighting over the IC title! But R-Truth is a clever muthaf***a! Wade Barrett getting bex with Truth because he got the title… So Truth is like – here, now stop your noise! Barrett retreating up the stairs only to find out he got the toy belt! That time Truth run gone with the real title! OH LAWWWWD!!!!

Big ups to Connor The Crusher! It’s funny, we the fans were talking about Connor getting inducted, (he beat Triple TEEF!!!!) Not only is he inducted, he gets the Ultimate Warrior award! THAT IS DAN!!!!

Connor beat Triple TEEF

You think about it, not many have beat Triple because he uses the hammer! But Connor did it! RESPECT!

Oh no…. pay attention, Paul Heyman is here!!!! OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!T! He got a video for us!

What a nice man… Heyman shows us a look at Roman Reigns and his career….

GOOD GAWD ALMIGHTY!!!! Paul Heyman might have out done himself from last weeks promo!!! He broke the mic again!!! He even hinted that Brock will UNIFY the UFC and WWE title!!! Can he do that??? BACKSIDE! Now the title no longer belongs to WWE? And if WWE tries a screwjob move or sends Seth Rollins to cash his cheque…. Somebody Gotta Die! If I Go, YOU GOTTA GO!!!


BACKFOOT! Erick Rowan won a match!!!!! only because Big Show hit the Sean P on Glenn…. That ain’t the issue hold up…

Now look what you two have done… you sent Stephanie’s sexy @$$ out here…. oh hang on that’s a good thing!

Yes – you two jabronies need to fix up – Stephanie – just give the man back his mask if you want him to be a don again… stop this Sunday School Trousers crap!

Look at the state of Wiz Khalifa??? Him nah dress proper! Hang on – look at Wizdow! He has ‘TGOD’ written on his hoodie? WTF does ‘T’ stand for??? If I find out it is a shot at Wu-Tang’s U-God….

STC WRESTLEMANIA 31 SIGN BDSIRSo while Wiz Khalifa chats his nonsense wearing a John Cena shirt walking round with sh!t locks… let the Infamous Informer entertain you with a proper tune, since we are celebrating Biggie’s life right now…

OH MY GOD!!! Summer Rae & Eva Marie dep pon mi telly??!!!! Let me pay attention… let me see if All Red Everything has improved her fighting style…

Oh – it’s a singles competition??? Ah sh!t!!!!

Right AJ Lee won – enough of that sh!t… now Sting explains why he wants to f**k up Triple Teef…

Well I can’t lie, during the Monday Night Wars and the attitude era, WCW was losing the war… who was WWF champion for the majority of that time? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! He used the hammer! I told you that man is NO GOOD! Amy Winehouse warned yo @$$!


Bless Curtis Axel! He’s after the US title at Big Big WrestleMania???? I say let him through! The crowd love him!

He’s like a glorified jobber – I’m not sure if Hulk Hogan or Mr Perfect will like what they are seeing here… oh well… no WrestleMania for Curtis Axel…. hey – maybe he will win the Battle Royal???

Well Cena did warn Rusev that if he talks sh!t about America, Cena gonna f**k him up….

…and he did using the STF super move! I smell an I QUIT match or some sort of submission match… look at Cena’s face when Lana accepted the challenge? BACKSIDE!!!! That ain’t heroic at all! It’s like Spiderman in the venom outfit!!!

Do I smell a Fatal 4 Way tag team championship match at WrestleMania as well? Cesaro/Kidd Vs Usos Vs New Day Vs.. the Ascension maybe? I hope so… I can ride to that! Everyone must decorate the kitchen table!

The MAN in the PURPLE SUIT!WHAAAAAAAAT!!! Naomi Vs Natalya right now???? Ok where’s the cocoa butter….

THAT’S WHAT’S UP!!! Naomi win again!!! Dayuuum I am fixing my trousers right now! Oh hang on what is this Los Jobberdore nonsense…Ok let me rephrase my vision – I smell a tag team turmoil match at WrestleMania…

While that’s on I’m gonna take a look at Ani James on babestation… she’s so fine – she makes my eyes roll into the back of my head!

We got 14,107 chanting that muthaf***a’s name… I just wanna line em all up and throw those d!ckhead wrestling fans in the concentration camps, Grant Hitler on they @$$!


Hmph! Here comes that outta order & bright Wyatt, he doesn’t watch the news! F**k!n with Undertaker is like throwing yourself head first in the grave and calling for the people to dig in the dirt!

14,107 with their iPhone lit up, you guys gonna get buss arse!

You see what happen when you f**k around with the urn? The powers come out, lights go out, all you see is lightning, the bell tolls, suddenly Sister Abigail’s armchair appears, all you hear is the Don’s voice… YOU WILL, REST IN PEACE!!!! But Wyatt seems to be laughing about it! The rocking chair bunn up! Wyatt goose cook! And he don’t even know it!!!!

I don’t think it’s worth talking about the handicap match between Roman Reigns and Seth/Randall… what I can say is this… NOW they are building that WrestleMania flava!

How dumb is Seth Rollins! Randall told him straight – he was gonna f**k him up… and that’s exactly what he did! Seth goes for the tag – Randall put his middle fingers up!!! Did he just do that? I think he did! Then the voices in his head chat to him, and told him to F**k up Seth Rollins! Destroyed him from pillar to post! FROM PILLAR TO POST! Vicious chair shots! a DDT into the concrete floor! sets up announce table, measures Rollins, RKO – BLAOW!!!!!!

The question remains – why didn’t Stephanie come out to stop this one? She did when it came to Big Show & Glenn! Oh that’s right… she remembered what happened in 2009!!!! Yep – best to stay out of Randall’s way when the voices chat to him!