Monday Night Raw #1142, April 13, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I just wanna give a BIG SHOUT OUT to Dev from BBC Radio 1, yes as a journalist I studied your interview with the Bella Twins… job well done I might add! I have picked up some interview techniques from you… seriously, it is GENIUS to have a Twister game handy when interviewing the divas!!!! Come on tell the truth Dev… your D was playing tricks on you right???

GRANT BODY P!!!

Bella Twins Twister Radio 1

I’m the Infamous Informer, and I have NO sympathy, NO compassion, NO remorse…welcome to RAW in ENGLAND!!! We got STC’s Stephen Cooper representing! HOL’DAT BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZFinally a stream that f**k!n works!!!! And the Cena US Open challenge continues! This week: That B!tch Barrett! I ain’t chanting for that @$$hole just because he’s British f**k that! Crowd chanting for him, one man chants Cena… must be Stephen Cooper haha!!!!

Damn remember the feud Barrett & Cena used to have back in 2010? That’s how I feel right now – F**K Barrett! Come on Cena!!!!

Big ups to Cena! But that Springboard stunner didn’t look good this time!! How’s STC’s Robert Ashford??? HAHAHA!! Hold up – Rusev????

That sexy muthaf***a Lana!!! I bet the Wu-Tang Clan would run up in her putin right??!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

A Russian Chain match at Extreme Rules??? OHHHH SH!T!!! Somebody goose cook!!!! Last time I check, Cena had Umaga in a chain match, and he wrapped that muthaf***a around Umaga’s neck back! Rusev I’m backing you but I don’t like your chances!

Divas Batle Royal

YES!!!! Cameron! Brie! Alicia! Summer Rae! Rosa Mendes! Emma! Natalya! and my sexy champion Naomi! That’s who I’m backing! (What – I missed out Paige?) I only deal with #AWomansWorth, not a little girl!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I remember Nikki saying on Radio 1, that her sister Brie cannot be in the battle royal… what happened to keeping it in the family???? (The belt I’m talking about! Get your minds out the gutter!)

COME ON NAOMI!!! DASH EM ALL OUT!

NO! NO! NO! Paige wins…… “THAT B!TCH!!!!” (Vince McMahon Voice) This is bullsh!t! I mean, Naomi dun pinned Nikki, doesn’t that mean Naomi should be #1 contender? But this milk of magnesia is the #1 contender? Don’t get me wrong, well done Paige, but Naomi is getting dissed here… I demand a TRIPLE THREAT MAAAAAATCH!!!!!

#BlackWrestlersMatter

Now Paige is talking her sob story like it’s Henglan Have Talent, I don’t give a damn if – WAIT A MINUTE! Naomi turned evil against Paige! YES!!!! BEAT HER BLODCLART!!!! I’m sick of this little b!tch and her pale @$$! Naomi the TRUE #1 contender! YES! Let’s throw in a pic of Naomi for no reason!!!

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That’s my woman right there!!!! I love her so much….

WHOA! we got Spanish Commentators on RAW? You know what that means usually?!!! I love the LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA! But these Ascension man need to fix up….

YOOOOOOO!!! LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA!!!! These mans are DAN!!!!! Rey who????? I love Rey Mysterio as much as the next kid…. but big ups to Rey & WWE for keeping it moving…

Uh-Oh, The don Roman Reigns coming up next on Raw??? Er Stephen Cooper…. the toilet is THAT WAY!!! That goes for you Nicola Box! For different reasons!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Now behave Stephen…. don’t let Roman push you into Germany!

Seems like the crowd love Roman Reigns apart from Stephen!!!! Oh dear!!!!

Seems like Roman Reigns and Big Show gonna have beef going into Extreme Rules… Ok bring the stipulation come! Last Muthaf***a Standing!

Did Roman Reigns say the dreaded R-word to Big Show??? RETIRE?!!!!! Lawd have mercy!

Oh snap! Big Show didn’t like that sh!t! Assaulting Reigns! threw him into the black cab! Crowd chanting ‘Please Retire’ to Big Show!

Now look what you done! The Big Show! Chokeslammed Roman Reigns nearly through the taxi – BLAOW!!!!

The question remains – who the f**k is Bray Wyatt talking to in the promos? Because it ain’t Roman Reigns!!!!

WHAAAAT? WWE RAW is sponsored by Mortal Kombat X??? Have you seen that game? That sh!t ain’t PG!!!!! My nephew wants the game… good thing it’s only on PS4/XBox1…. I made my nephew play God Of War… Even I am hesitant to get Mortal Kombat for my nephew!

HEY TEEEF!!!!! Tyson Kidd can’t get involved in the match? Ha the referee ketch him! Cesaro disqualify! What? Glenn just restarted this sh!t, now Tyson Kidd can jump in the match! TEEEEEEF!!!

Dayuuum Tyson and Cesaro are putting in work against Randall! But Tyson fly about too much – RKO – BLAOW!!!

Haha ok signs of Kane were showing life in that backstage segment! Seth Rollins being a b!tch as usual, Jamie Noble trying to be outta orda and bright, and Kane is like – why don’t I use a car battery and hook that sh!t up on your testicles???!!! HAHA! What’s up Shane????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

RAH-TID! Adam Rose still contracted to WWE? Wait til WWE do the annual future endeavoured process… The Grant Says this – if they get rid of WACK Ryder… it will be my grandest day since the Undertaker brukk up that CM B!TCH!!!!

I say get rid of that Fandango fool as well! At the same time… can I really blame them? It’s WWE and their stupidSAM_3844 gimmicks… or maybe not… not the Fandango song again……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Future Endeavour his Blodclart!

Oh man…. I know Kane is not gonna lay down for Seth Rollins???? Yo Undertaker!!! Talk to your boy!!!! I’m telling you right now – if Kane lays down…. I say FUTURE ENDEAVOUR GLENN’S BLODCLART AS WELL! I hope Danny Bryan talks sense into him… send for the mask damnit!!!! Come on Kane! Tombstone Seth’s BLODCLART!

F**k me… he’s come out wearing his suit…. This is the man who had Undertaker shook in 1997 in the Hell In A Cell…. oh god….

Glenn on one knee…. you ain’t marrying the muthaf***a????

Glenn laying down… WAIT! He kicked out! Seth yelling at him, CHOKESLAM – BLAOW! But then… he lay down at let Rollins pin him…. That’s it… I’m dun… I used to look up to him… WHAT? I said I looked up to him… it’s like Jay-Z when he said, “N!**@$ want my old sh!t, buy my old album…” Like how WWE Network just added all that Attitude era sh!t… If I wanna see Kane when he was a don… I might as well watch that…

Undertaker never did that, Paul Heyman tried to force him to lay down for the Dudley Boys… if he didn’t Paul Bearer would be dead up in the concrete crypt. Undertaker was like – F**K THAT – I will f**k up the Dudley Boys and cut off my weakness – Paul Bearer

Now Summer Rae is rolling with Mizdow??? Well if he can’t get Maryse, send for the next best thing!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

YO! These new and improved Primetime Players just put Los Matadores on BLAST! Puerto Rica bullfighters??? I DON’T THINK SO! To me it’s more Primetime Players putting WWE creative on blast for coming up with these stupid gimmicks! They keep this sh!t up they might become tag team of the year!

So my girl Naomi decides to explain herself…. baby girl you don’t owe me an explanation! DUN KNOW the Battle Royal bullsh!t didn’t make any sense! Pinned Nikki TWICE…. and Naomi gets no props? Extreme Rules – Backing Naomi ALL THE WAY – F**K PAIGE & F**K NIKKI BELLA! Dem tek Naomi kindness for weakness!

Just for the record… Nikki Bella would still get the D… Grantington Steele style… after what I saw on Twister… OHHHHHH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I hate Dolph Ziggler no question, but he got the one liner of the show! The Devil’s favourite DUMB@$$! YOU DAMN RIGHT!!! Many years I called Kane my hero… NO MORE!

Oh SH!!!!!!T!!! This match should be DON!!!!!! Dolph Ziggler! Adrian Neville!!!! LET’S GO!!!

I know Neville did not just balance on the barricade and drop a 450 splash on Ziggler! COME ON NEVILLE!!! GET HIM!!! CLAP HIM! BEAT HIM!

WHAT!!!! Neville went for the Red Arrow, missed, landed on his feet, but that Ziggler bastard won…… AAARRRGH!!! NO!!!!!

Well thank you Sheamus for kicking down Ziggler, but you didn’t have to get Neville too? Oh Sheamus!

Irrelevant – he’s focussed on f**k!n up Dolph Ziggler – Brogue Kick to the grill – BLAOW!!! YES SHEAMUS!!!!

Now we gonna find out the stipulations are for the title match at Extreme Rules… it best be Mark Out worthy!

Haha look at Seth Rollins cock-up him foot in that leather seat! He’s a funny ninja!

AAAAAH SH!T!!! Seth says the RKO is banned? He can’t use the super move? Well Randall can always kick him in his head!

Randall retaliate! Ha – No Authority inter- Steel Cage match???? I can ryde to that I suppose… Remember Randall… you can kick Rollins in his head!!!! Don’t sweat the RKO!!

Oh by the way… welcome back Mike Cole! How you doing??? Ah forget it….

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.