Monday Night Raw #1147, May 18, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

I wanna give a shout out to STC member Kieran Murray and his Wolfpack crew, see they’ve started some sh!t on the Smack Talk Centre on some faction warfare business… you got the Wolfpack, the Authority, The Alliance, and now the Ministry… I play the track above because everybody wants to know… who’s side is the Infamous Informer on? Ol’Dirty Bastard’s first line in the track is your answer. Meaning… I’m staying out of this foolishness! I am a One Man Army… you know why? Because I gotta entertain my readers every week – those who don’t take wrestling seriously, I gotta entertain my listeners on KicFM, whether it be the STC From The UK show, or the RePPiN4U Hip Hop Show! I have peoples who look up to me…. (WHAT?) I said they look up to me…. (Shout out to Stone Cold Steve Austin…) if you don’t know where I got that line from in WWF, do your googles, do your research!!!

If you want to know more about the madness in Smack Talk Centre,the wildest FB wrestling forum, accept NO imitations, simply hit up your Facebook and go to http://www.facebook.com/groups/smacktalkcentre. REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO!

OK enough of all that sh!t! R-Truth, Ascension, Sheamus, New Day, Wyatt, Cena, Naomi & Tamina, Neville, and Rollins get dem Payback!!! Send for the Chamber!!!! RAW #1147! Hold-Dat – BLAOW!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZSo Triple…. now that you have passed down your pedigree super move to Rollins, are you gonna pass down your 20 minute ‘I Am The Game-errrrrrr’ promos too?

Hi Steph!!! I sure have missed you girl…. Come here let me give you a hug… mind mi cocky!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Well trust them to rub it in how Danny Bryan doesn’t have a TV and all that, chopping wood making a fireplace…

Talk about the Elimination Chamber and Sheamus feels since he put Bryan out the game, he should be the new Intercontinental Champion… Ha… Ryback thinks differently though!!! Has Sheamus and Ryback ever clashed??? I don’t think so – that would be good to see!

Wait a minute – Triple is making it happen! YES TRIPLE! Ryback Vs Sheamus!!! Someone is losing teeth tonight – LET’S GO!

Oh did you just hear that – Ryback & Sheamus will be in the Chamber match! So there’s no qualifying matches and all that sh!t? Well that’s cool with me! Who’s the other 4 muthaf***az? STAY TUNED!

Funny how Ryback hates bullies when about a year or so ago he was on that same sh!t…..

OH SNAP! Sheamus acting like he got something in his eye… ref tryna restrain Ryback… Sheamus playing possum – Brogue Kick in the mouth – BLAOW!!!

OH SNAP!!!!! I know Ambrose did not just KILL that segment! Ambrose said to Ka- er I mean Glenn what I’ve said for weeks ever since he donned those pathetic Sunday schooltrousers… “What would Paul Bearer think? And your BROTHER???? Supposed to be the Devil’s favourite demon….” and took away his champagne!!!! That’s what I’ve said for how long – he committed the most abominable of all sins – he betrayed himself!!! He became one of us! Don’t know where I’m referring to? Do your googles!!!!

I’m sorry Renée Young couldn’t interview me on some ‘Unfiltered’ sh!t…. I’d risk having a good ol’ scrap with Dean Ambrose!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Oh dear Bo Dallas wants to cause beef with Neville…oh I remember these two clashed in NXT and Neville became the champion… look at Dallas targeting Neville’s injured knee… now look, Barrett’s coming out to compete… I can’t see my dude Neville winning this yo…

Big up Mike Cole for addressing him has ‘Bad News Barrett’…. he ain’t no ‘KING’ to me… F**k that – I address him as Wade B!tch @$$!!!!

Oh sh!t he got the Bullhammer super move on Neville… GOD DAMNIT!!!! BURN DOWN THE PALACE!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Big up Bo Dallas, though… he find himself in a storyline that we can be invested in…

OH SH!T!!! RUSEV BEX! Did he say ‘I Quit’??? Is he gonna run down Lana??? I’m sure there are an army of wrestling fans ready to jump to Lana’s defence! All to get in her little panties!!!

WE WANT LANA!!!! WE WANT LANA!!! – SHUT-TUP!!! Haha I like this!

Wait a minute Rusev – you can’t have a rematch??? You can’t restart the sh!t? The feud is over – this cannot continue – wait a minute Lana is here!!!! I see you wrestling fans cracking your fists like Bruce Lee!!!

…and let’s just throw a pic of Lana here… for no reason!

LANA SMILE

OH SNAP!!! RUSEV SHUT HER DOWN!!!! This could be the greatest day of wrestling fans lives!!!! Even John Cena might get cheered here!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Lana claims he said ‘I Quit’ in Bulgarian!!! Wrestling fans doing their googles! STC lads investing in condoms!!! F**k that, I wanna know how Lana says ‘Oh Yeah, Don’t Stop!’ in Bulgarian!!!

MY GOD THAT IS ENOUGH!!!!

So this is what Ambrose gets for bringing up Paul Bearer and The Undertaker… he fights Bray Wyatt… Ambrose ain’t sweating no lantern wielding fool!

What the f**k is that written on the back of Wyatt’s shirt? Follow us – pon di twitter @stc_wwe! or @MZATheInfamous!

Two guys of unorthodox fighting styles…. fans are loving this! Instead of ‘This Is Awesome’… why can’t we have a ‘This Is The Sh!t’ chant going!!!!

Why the f**k did J&J security come and teef? I thought Seth Rollins was like – nah Ambrose, you get to the back of the line… you can’t fight again? What sort of sh!t is that????

Now… Xavier Woods teefed in the match at Payback, so they banned his blodclart from ringside… doesn’t matter… Kofi and Big E got this! They will brukk up Cesaro & Kidd same way!

..and at the Chamber… they gotta defend the titles against FIVE teams??? OH SNAP!!!! Well there’s my theory out the window! The Chamber is gonna be OFF THE HOOK! I’ll be clapping… NEW.. DAY ROCKS!!!

I just love when Big E hits a big move… then he starts the clap!

Hold up, Barrett, Truth, & Rusev entering the Chamber too? WHAAAAT!

As much as I like the tag teams taking part in the Chamber – Primetime Players, LUCHA! LUCHA! LUCHA! New Day, Cesaro & Kidd, Ascension, you mean to tell me Los Jobberdores made the cut instead of Rowan & Harper???? I can hear some muthaf***a screaming out – ‘Who booked this crap’???!

What if I told you it was Teddy Long? Sh!t he should announce it! F**k that – I should tweet him!

Teddy Long  1 foot skank

Look at him! The 1 foot skank!!! Teddy Long is overjoyed!!!!

I just fast forwarded the BLA BLA BLA from Cena…. who’s gonna represent to take the title this week?

KEVIN OWENS???? The NXT Champion??? BACKSIDE!!!!! He could make history! Defeat Cena and wield the NXT & US Title at the NXT joint – UNSTOPPABLE this week!

NXT Unstoppable

Stop the chat – fight!!!! You think Scorpion & Sub-Zero would chat all this sh!t before they kill each other?

What???? Owens refuses the challenge? but he kick down Cena, dropped the powerbomb on his @$$, and stamp pon the US title???? DISRESPECT!!! Owens said – he will fight Cena on his terms??? WHOA! It’s a future war about to build! Cena looking like – WTF just happened? Just when I thought Cena’s war with Rusev was personal….

Did you see the Ziggler Vs Sheamus match on Payback? Then you know what happened with that headbutt.. come on Stardust… BUST HIM OPEN!!!

What? He just lost to Ziggler??? SH!T!!! And he’s in the chamber too?

OH SNAP!!!! Ziggler really does steal girlfriends!!!! Lana just came through and planted one or two on his lips! He’s STILL GAY! If that was me, I would have got all in her tongue, feel on her t!tt!£$, slap her @$$ and wrap her leg around my pelvis, let that skirt ride up! We are talking Lana people, one of the hottest gyal on WWE, and that’s what Ziggler does? BATTYMAN!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Meanwhile Wack Ryder & Fandumbgay are about to get BUSS ARSE by the Wyatt man dem…. I’m not even gonna watch this sh!t! TOILET BREAK!

Stephanie has started to f**k with the Bella Twins again???? Do we wanna see Stephanie Vs Brie/Nikki Part II at Summerslam??? Well I would like to see Stephanie…GRANT THAT'S WHAT I DO

Naomi YOUR TIME COME!!!! You come for your belt! She can’t be booed! because she got SKILLS!!!!

Nikki – GET READY TO LOSE THAT TITLE! You haven’t got Brie to back you again!

GODDAMNIT – disqualification???? And that Milk of Magnesia Paige is screaming – ‘My House’!!!! GOD DAMNIT – I hate that B!ATCH!!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

HOLY F**K!!!! Kevin Owens gonna fight John Cena at the Elimination Chamber joint??? And this is FREE to new May subscribers??? Do I have to pull your ears to the laptop and sign up??? Suddenly Payback was just an episode of RAW!

Time to celebrate the Architect of a Dream – Seth Rollins! He’s the future! He used the Pedigree! J&J security and Glenn help him! If only Kane pulled up in a truck full of gasoline and set that muthaf***a on fire!

Hey don’t get it twisted – I like Seth Rollins! It’s that Glenn I can’t stand!

I’ve gotta question – Has Stephanie prepared a song for Seth? You know, Wind Beneath My Ring 2015????

GRANT BODY – P!!!

Chamber music, f**k!n the party up!!! Dean Ambrose I hope you know what you’re doing????

Ambrose bringing the Ruckus to Rollins!!!! He was ready to f**k him up with the cinder blocks until Triple & Steph granted the Championship match at the Chamber!

But even a one man army like Ambrose can outlast the Authority for so long… Rollins hits the pedigree – BLAOW! (Remind me to put that in Seth’s move-set in WWE2K15!)

The question remains – what becomes of Orton and Reigns? Where do they fit into the equation?

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.