Monday Night Raw #1149, June 1, 2015!!!

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The Infamous Informer

On this day… I see clearly…. actually I learned a few things:

1: No matter how many jobs and interviews you apply for, if you don’t apply for the ones the DWP give you, they take away your benefits.

2: WrestleMania 31 was released on this day. I copped it, and watched it with family. The way they enjoyed it reminded me THAT is how to enjoy wrestling. Not that sh!t you IWC B!tches do – watch it, look out for botches, anything negative, hoping for 5* matches…. F**K all that sh!t!

3: The hospital took a blood test from me, and revealed that your Infamous Daywalker needs more serum. In other words: I need another blood transfusion.

4: Despite the success of WWE Elimination Chamber, there are still muthaf***az posting up CM Princess Peach B!tch memes…’Vince, do you miss me?’ All sorts of sh!t… LET IT BURN Jabronies… you really are worse than actual b!tches who love their men who abuse them.

GRANT BODY – P!

Let’s get into this sh!t! RAW #1149! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZAustin podcast with Paul Heyman tonight! Ok survival kit… I’ll be up til 5am writing and finalising this sh!t..

Chilli Dog pizza (with Frankfurter stuffed crust)

Tortilla Chip Sour Cream Pringles,

Happy shopper Jaffa Cakes (Highly recommended)

Italian Gelato from Iceland for £2 (that is the moooove!) almost as tasty as the real thing in Italy! Yep – I’m ready for this RAW sh!t!

Oh dear! Ambrose run gone with the title and now the whole Authority is coming out… let’s be real though, the ref made the RIGHT call. Rollins put the ref in harm’s way on purpose, thus making him disqualified… but let’s have some fun… Ambrose won that match damnit! Rollins shoulders were down for the three!

It’s all INJUSTICE! How dare Triple Teef demand Ambrose to come down to the ring! Roman Reigns must come down the stairs!

Yo  – who’s f**k!n around with the mic back there? Oh dear DWP get ready for more applicants!

Roman just called Rollins the worst champion ever??? Er what about Great Khali? Bob Backlund? John C- nah I ain’t one of them haters!

Oh dear… Rollins is bexxxxxxx!!!! He agreed to the match at the PPV! Rollins! Ambrose! Ladder match for the WWE Title! Now there’s no excuses as to who wins that sh!t!

Check it – Roman Reigns is in the Money Inna Bank match.. but Triple says, if he doesn’t win, he’s OUT of the match… Well THE GRANT SAYS – If I was Reigns, I’d LOSE… you know why? Check it out – F**k the title… how about f**k!n up Triple himself???!!! That’s what I’d pick! Kick him down in his 3ft nose!

GRANT BODY – P!

Triple has chosen Barrett to deny Roman… in a way I’m backing Barrett, it makes things more interesting!

Reigns ducks the bullhammer, hits the spear – BLAOW!!! Roman Reigns still in the match! Try again Triple!

Wait a minute…. Reigns gotta beat Mark Henry too? TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! Hear him singing – ‘Somebody gonna get their wig split’!!!! HA! HA! HA!

Salute – the NEW World Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion – RYBACK!!!! Big respect to this man!

Oh for real? The Miz fights Ryback for the title? Miz ain’t gonna get very far!!!

See? I told you – PPPPPPPPP!!!! Miz punched through school buses by the Big Show! He wants to test Ryback for the I.C. Title! Oh no!!!! Ryback you can’t pick him up for the Shell Shock super move – he’s too damn big!!!

Lawwd have mercy – Kevin Owens! The Superstar! The Champ is Here!!!! You know they’re having a rematch at Munny Inna Bank right??? Hmmm…. half the STC don’t like that… what’s wrong – afraid Cena will win this time?

Oh my days! Owens putting Cena on blast! His son became a Cena fan! Owens travelled the world honing his craft! Now he’s gonna expose the ‘lie’ that is Cena! Didn’t he do that already???

You know Cena had to come out here and deliver some real talk!

I know Cena did not say Owens doesn’t deserve the NXT championship!!! GASP!!!! He’s asking for a pop-up powerbomb surely!

This ain’t one of those BLA-BLA-BLA promos… Cena shut Owens DOWN! One kid dressed up in Cena attire holding a sign saying ‘I Beat Cancer’ – Cena pointed her out! Owens had no bars after that!!!!

Ok Cena – you got Owens good and proper lyrically, but you better learn 15 more moves… because Owens, despite his appearance, got SKILLZ!!!! You only got two weeks! TO THE PERFORMANCE CENTER MUTHAF***A!

GRANT BODY – P!!

WHAAAAAT!! It’s the New Day! Love these ninjas!!!!

Shall we just post a pic of Lillian Garcia for no reason? That woman – you can’t just f**k her… you gotta love and caress her!

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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I gotta fix my trousers like The Rock!

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The appearance of the Primetime Players coming to support Ziggler has now become a 6-man tag with The New Day. With Young an official homosexual and Ziggler a homosexual in denial I back the New Day ALL DAY!

Big ups to the PTP though, they got the win over New Day…. UH OH!!! Guys???? What happened to the positivity???

Here we go! Is Mark Henry gonna send for the Hall Of Pain on Reigns???

Nope – Roman Reigns hit the superman punch on Mark Henry – wins by count out!!!! But Henry don’t like that sh!t!!! He sent Reigns for the Hall of Pain!!!! If I was Reigns, I’d get myself out of that arena big time! Because if I know that Triple Teef, Triple nah dun with him!

Now he’s gotta fight Wyatt??? That lantern wielding fool? THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!! TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!

Well the Milk of Magnesia Paige finally gets her title shot against Nikki…. come on Nikki… don’t let this b!atch beat yuh!SAM_3844

Nikki – you have held the divas title for 190 days…. come on girl! Only 105 days to go!

I can’t believe that after all these years, The Bella Twins still use the twin magic super move against Paige… I mean, I’m glad Nikki won but is the referee blind??? Golden rule in Bella matches – check the t!tt!£$!!! You think Dean Ambrose would fall for that twin magic sh!t???

GRANT BODY -P!!!

Oh man I don’t think I’m gonna make it to the Austin/Heyman podcast… I’m yawning like a muthaf***a here! I can hear Sheamus asking me – am I not entertained??? I mean I am but… maybe that ice cream can make all the difference…

Hold up – more participants are to be announced in the money inna bank ladder match??? OH SNAP!!!!

Oh man look at the state of Rusev! He’s on crutches and sh!t! He’s lost everything! the title, Lana, his wrestling spirit…. he reminds me of HBK when he was desperate to fight Undertaker and this epic tune was played…

Say what? Kevin Owens hosts the NXT open challenge on Smackdown??? Is it me, or does Owens want to be John Cena in his own way? Could be interesting to watch! But I dunno man, He nearly powerbombed Sami Zayn through the ring!

Look at Reigns! I don’t know if he’s gonna make it either… End this early Reigns…. you don’t wanna be fed to the buzzards???

OH NO – TEEEEEEEEEF!!! What’s the pu$$yclart Authority doing out here??? Reigns, I’m gonna pray for ya…. but the match was granted for Ambrose so maybe that t!++y mastering dude may leave the strip club and enter the arena!

And here they come… these guys – Glenn, J&J, Seth – they all pu$$y!!!!

Oh snap! Reigns mash-up all three guys in one night! What are you guys gonna do? Oh no… Where Ambrose deh??? See him here!!!! Outsmarting them and run gone with the title!!!! Hahahahah!!! The Authority have been teef since August 2013, and Ambrose can’t be teef for 5 minutes….

GRANT BODY – P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.

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