Smack Talk Centre-Raw
It’s only right that I start the blog off like this. Even if you’re not a fan (which I’m not), you gotta pay respects to one of the foundations of wrestling. Take a bow Dusty Rhodes, LIVE ON LIVE LONG.
Sheamus is LOADED! Nikki going for 295! Cena CAN wrestle.. how many fans had heart failure? This is the aftermath! RAW #1151! HOL’DAT-BLAOW!
Well… somebody’s happy isn’t he? He retained his title, and he did it all on his own… somebody stick a gold star on this muthaf***a! Anyone would think Seth Rollins finished reading his first link-up book!
(A Big Bus.)
(A Big Red Bus.)
(A Big Red Bus In Hill Street.)
GRANT BODY – P! GETTHEF**KOUTTAHERE!!!
Oh for real? Welcome to Monday Night RAWLINS???!!!! He’s thanking us for being here! Well thank you Seth! You and Ambrose put on a classic match word up!
Damn Seth got a shout out list? Shall we play the 9th Wonder instrumental???
Hang on – he’s bigging up himself???? What about Triple & Steph? I thought Triple was proud of him? Not even they get props? Wait a minute – he should punch his ticket to the Hall Of Fame???? This man OUTTA ORDA & BRIGHT!
OH SNAP! Is that how Dean Ambrose gonna congratulate his adversary? Give him some more beatings??? HAHAHA! He ain’t going anywhere until Rollins comes back so he can get some more beatings!
Last week Joey Mercury pinned Rollins… you best give him his well deserved title shot RAWLINGS!
I thought this rivalry was over… I thought not!
I think Rawlings is in a little bit of trouble…. running his mouth disrespecting the whole authority…who’s the next opponent? I think we know don’t you sexy ladies and b!tch @$$ muthaf***az!
Big up Sheamus! The new Mr Munny Innah Bank! What’s wrong fat @$$ IWC jabronies? you didn’t like that sh!t? Do The Knowledge you big dummies!
Dean and Sheamus love a fight… and we love a fight too!!!! GET HIM DEAN! Mess up that Rocksteady Headtop!
Damn son! Sheamus just f**k!n up Ambrose legs!!!! Ambrose would rather pass out than tap to Rocksteady! So who’s Bebop? Mark Henry???
GRANT BODY – P!!!
UH-OH!!! Randall!!!! Caused Shadfather’s favourite move! Ambrose got the Distraction Roll Up pin to Sheamus! Forget all that – Randall was out to finish Sheamus! RKO – BL…..no Sheamus blocked it!
Oh dear Joey Mercury heard me!!!! He wants to test RAWlings for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! Make it happen RAWlings!!!! #GiveJandJAChance! Make it trend! Put it on your twitter! Matter of fact – I’ll do that my damn self!
For real? They just did a Fatherhood advert featuring Roman Reigns? They’re not turning him heel now! IWC Make it Burn! Throw the rumours out the window!
Is it me or does Wade Barrett’s theme sound racist???? And you wonder why I can’t stand that muthaf***a!
OOOOHHHHH SH!!!T! It’s Kevin Owens!!! Looks like he’s gonna run the NXT open challenge! I believe I have found the right opponent for him… Could it be this b!tch?
Photo courtesy of STC Member Edd Mulhall
What the hell was she doing there? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me @MZATheInfamous!
So that’s why you f**ked up Cena? Because Cena told you ‘You belong here’? Ok now we know not to compliment Owens!
Now this muthaf***a wants the US Title! I thought it was beneath you Owens? Anyway who’s gonna take the challenge? Dolph Ziggler? Is he bringing his new gyal?
Backing Kevin Owens here – COME ON OWENS!!!! Powerbomb Ziggler’s clart like you did Cena at the Munny Innah Bank!
I am disappointed! I was hoping for Chyna to come out! (Yo Mike she and Steph have beef) I DON’T GIVE A DAMN! Vincent Kennedy squashed the beef with Bret, Bruno, Warrior, and whoever else. Look at Warrior. He’s no longer with us in the physical… Steph – you gotta make it burn – same goes for you Chyna, sort your sh!t out!
See with Chyna all she gotta do his punch Owens in his d!ck and take his sh!t!!! She invented the low blow!
Well since the NXT championship isn’t on the line, what happens if Ziggler beats him? I’m saying hmmmmm….
Pop-up Powerbomb – BLAOW!!!! Ziggler finish!!!! I just love the look on jabronies faces when Ziggler loses.. can’t kiss Lana right… all sorts of sh!t…
Where does Paige think she’s going? Rallying the rest of the divas to stop the Bella Twins? The women must take Paige for joke? Little 22-year-old milk of magnesia trying to lead the likes of my beautiful Naomi? My sexy Layla? Tamina? Alicia Fox??? Rosa Mendes? Are you smoking that tical Paige????
Meme courtesy of STC member Adam Maskell
My thoughts exactly Undertaker…. Paige outta order and bright!
Speaking of Undertaker, considering that he’s a few years older than Kane… Kane’s conditioning is better than that of his ‘brother’…
…and speaking of his ‘brother’… Ok Seth Rollins you’re pushing it now! Why do you love provoking Kane so much??? Mentioning Paul Bearer and the don of dons… er Seth… look at the meme above these sentences….
Damn come on RAW hurry up and get to the handicap divas match! I wanna see the Bellas knock Paige the f**k out! I wanna see what Wyatt gotta say about dropping Reigns with the Sister Abigail for no reason!
YES! Roman Reigns coming down the stairs! The women grabbing his d!ck!!!
It was injustice what Wyatt done! Oh no not this crazy cryptic sh!t!!! Or maybe not!!!! It all stems from when he defeated Wyatt last week! Stole his moment! Why did we not clock this before!
OH MY GOD!!! (I have to put on my JR Voice) BRAY’S GOING AFTER ROMAN’S DAUGHTER! HE COULD NOT BE THAT HEINOUS! WHAT A SICK & TWISTED HUMAN BEING! Yo that is f**ked up yo! No Roman – you have to F**k up Wyatt now…. this is some Cradle To the Grave sh!t now… some DMX & Vanessa sh!t!
Here we go… Bellas on Paige handicap match! Come on Bellas, beat out her blodclart!
Superb wrestling skill by Nikki! Caught Paige in the head scissors, turning her on her stomach and doing press ups! Can your favourite wrestler do that??? NO – SHUT THE F**K UP!
Shout out to Xzibit! Choke her Spank her Pull her hair!
Nikki hit the elbow on Paige! FINISH HER! Nikki hits the rack attack on Paige – BLAOW!!! FATALITY!
Oh hell to the no – that Machine Gun scrawny idiot is gonna perform??? Ok this is the part where I watch babestation…
In fact f**k that – Let me play one of the latest tunes I’m feeling…
YES KEVIN OWENS! MY HERO! MY MAN!!! He just powerbombed Machine Gun pu$$yclart skinny leggings wearing b!tch through the stage!!! That was the best thing I’ve ever seen! F**k that fake sh!t! We don’t do that over here! Kevin Owens supports REAL HIP HOP!!!! HE IS BRILLIANT!!!
Why are the commentators bex for? I didn’t wanna hear that noise! The fans sure as hell didn’t! I wonder what Mike Knoxxx of the BDSIR Network/Fox Sports gotta think about that???
Big up the Primetime Players! New World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Champions! But can the New Day take back their titles?
Well this is a 6-man jump off, My dude Neville joins the PTP, against the team that uses the POP: the Power Of Positivity!
I know Dean Ambrose ain’t playing ‘Bullseye’ using Seth Rollins as the dartboard!
And people ain’t gonna stop until they get Kane to come to his senses and send for his mask and tombstone people and set them on fire! Come on Kane!!!!! This is why the fans loved you back in the day! Stop fooling yourself man!
Finally! We gonna find out who RAWlins next opponent is…. surely it can’t be the man that’s rumoured??? The man who defeated the don of dons and shocked the world??!!!
Triple’s dress sense is becoming more like Vincent Kennedy isn’t it???
Seth seems to have a smile on his face…. I dunno Seth! Do you need the toilet? My instincts tell me you may need it!
Once again Steph your black dress – OHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Triple – get her for the lads!!!!!
HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!!! BRRRRROCCCCK LESSSSSSSNAR!!!!! He gotta Suplex City shirt!!!! That’s it now! What happened to your smile Seth? You’re the architect… right??? You are the future…..huh???!!! The Shield…. all that boasting? All that bravado? You can take him surely??? Your comrade Roman Reigns did!!! You are the best WWE champion of all time??? THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID! Now get in there and SHUDDUP!!!!
On a real though people… this week’s Raw… if you DVR’d it… you’re gonna fast forward a lot of sh!t… but don’t fast forward too much past Machine Gun b!tch @$$… Anyway guys, I think Seth Rollins will be needing the men’s room, nobody go in there for about 35-45 minutes… somebody open the window…
Thoughts and prayers go out to the family of Seth Rollins…
GRANT BODY – P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.