Smack Talk Centre-Raw
It’s only right that I start the blog off like this. Even if you’re not a fan (which I’m not), you gotta pay respects to one of the foundations of wrestling. Take a bow Barry Landel, LIVE ON LIVE LONG.
(Er… I don’t think WWE gonna do the massive tribute for him like they did Dusty… no bell tolling 10 times or anything like that…)
I’m sure Heaven got a full roster now…. HWF (Heaven Wrestling Federation)… that’s what I’m calling it! Let’s keep it moving y’all! RAW #1152! Hol’ Dat – RECORD SKIP!!! Virgin Media says I can’t watch live??? MUTHAF***A!
Hang on, let me get this right so I can understand this: Brock Lesnar has to give an apology for his actions back in April, but it’s Mike Cole doing the apologising??!!! HA! HA! HA! Yeah Mike… APOLOGISE!!! For being a WACK commentator when sh!t pops off! You stay quiet and sh!t… you don’t make the sh!t exciting! Fans cannot hate heels because YOU MIKE COLE don’t make it sound convincing like JR did! JR – that man made you HATE the heels. Now everyone cheers the heels and it’s YOUR FAULT!!!! Brock apologizes to JAY-BEE because he does his job properly!
Did you hear the crowd roar when Paul Heyman described Seth Rollins??!!! I’m just waiting for the meme that follows that!!!
Oh sh!!!!!t! July 19… mark it in your calendar people! Seth has a one way, all expenses paid, first class ticket to Suplex City B!TCH!!! the question remains: Will Seth smile through the onslaught????
It is a sad day, when Kane has to get help from Seth Rollins to defeat Dean Ambrose… not saying that Ambrose is weak but we talking Kane here! The big red retard who can finally speak!!!! (Shout out to The Rock!) But words from the wise to the guys in the locker room: When fighting Kane or Undertaker, NEVER go top ropes!!! They grab you by your neck, Chokeslam off the top rope – BLAOW!!! And Mike Cole didn’t even call that properly! FOOL!
YES PRIME TIME PLAYERS! AH YU DAT??!!! They defeated The Decension!!!! A part of me wats the Decension to stay in the main roster, the other part of me says ‘send dem muthaf***az back to NXT’- dem nah ready!!! You know what I really want? I want Kane to stop his foolishness, take the Decension under his wing… 3 man team – The Fires of Hell!!! I’m telling you – it would work!!!!
Look how Undertaker did it – formed The Ministry, The Brood, Acolytes, Mideon & Viscera, that’s 7 guys plus Undertaker. 5 of the 7 turned out successful in the end!
Are you not entertained Sheamus? I bet you are now! Roman Reigns beating you down and sh!t!
That is f**ked up!!!! How has Bray got f**ked up pics of Reigns in that dark room with candles and sh!t, acting like he’s having a tea party with Reigns daughter?
Now this is what I’m talking about Bray! Less of the cryptic shit you do and more of this deranged mind games! You took the advice onboard! Superb work Wyatt! Now let me hear the next person who complains about you…
“Xavier has got a lot to say, that’s all there is to it…” (JBL)
Well THE GRANT SAYS – You lucky Xavier hasn’t got a loud-speaker like Jimmy Hart! Or what about Daivari, who used to manage Muhammad Hassan! His mouth went at 100 miles an hour, and he spoke ‘Arab’!!! I put it in quotations because that was character back then!
With the PTP rushing the ring to even things up with the New Day, I’m surprised this match between Neville and Kingston wasn’t turned into a 6 man tag team ma…. Oh I forgot, Teddy Long wasn’t there…
I’m not a fan of both guys, but when Barrett turned his elbow pad red, and hit the Bullhammer super move to Wack Ryder while he was on top ropes… THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!!! BOOOOOOOM!!!
You know what Cena, big ups to WWE editing all that bla-bla-bla you do… I understand how you roll and all that… but I’d turn to Kevin Owens and say F**K YOU! I ain’t giving you an US Title shot! Because I issued an open challenge to you and you said NO. You stamp on my title like it’s garbage, You forgot great champions like Harley Race, Booker-T & Goldberg held this title muthaf***a? I challenge you for your NXT title and you say NO? F**K YOU!!! At Battleground, I’ll just f**k you up! Keep it Real huh????
WTF did Kevin Owens just say??? He just spoke in a different language! Answers on a postcard please at my twitter @MZATheInfamous!
Never mind hold the tweets! Now both muthaf***az speaking in French! god dammit where’s Maryse when you need her? In fact f**k that – Lillian Garcia – speak Spanish for me girl! F**k that – where’s my Roselyn Sánchez?? My Senorita??
See that woman above? You may have seen her in Devious Maids or Without a Trace or Boat Trip or most notably, Rush Hour 2, She only has to speak, and mi cocky stan up!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
F**K ME!!!! Naomi how are you gonna bounce off the second turnbuckle like that baby girl??? Sorry to be profane but that girl can f**k… just by watching those few seconds! In fact – f**k that – this is my blog – I ain’t apologizing for sh!t!
Just watch the first few seconds… but if you’re a Paige fan this won’t apply to you!
GRANT BODY – P!
AAAH SH!T! Tamina set up Nikki for the Rear End super move from Naomi, Nikki ducks, Naomi hits Tamina! Bellas pick up the win… CURSES!
Is that all Ryback??? A splash off the top ropes to defeat Mark Henry??? Oh mannnn!!! I expected you to pull off a 450 or something!!! Oh I get it… you heard about that Uhaa Nation dude… haha!!! Soon Ryback… soon!
You see this match right here? Adam Rose Vs Dolph Ziggler? This is that toilet break sh!t… Now as i mention it… I feel for the toilet now excuse me…
Maybe it is still worth watching after all… if it’s good for Rusev… I suppose it’s good for me!
Is it me or does Lana look unhappy? What’s wrong Lana, is it because Ziggler discovered what your name is backwards and wanted to try that sexual position???
GRANT BODY – P!!!
If there is one thing I will never understand more than smoking, its Anal intercourse. I mean… (JR VOICE – There’s DOODOO IN THERE! FOR GOD’S SAKES!)
OH SNAP! was Lana’s hair meant to all flow out then? Ziggler couldn’t even do that right! And his kissing technique is still suspect! I’m sitting here in disbelief… So is Rusev by the looks of things…
Rusev so bex he threw away his crutches and him drop down ah ground! HAHAHAHA!!! MAKE IT BURN, MAKE IT BURN, (YOU GON LEARN!) MAKE IT BURRRRRNNNNNNN!!!
Wait a minute… what’s this?? Summer Rae???? Giving back Rusev his crutches? Don’t tell me she wants some of the super athlete??? Oh I see where this is going here! Mixed tag match: Rusev & Summer Vs Ziggler & Lana… I don’t know when, but remember I told ya!
Rusev.. you DO realise she’s a ‘Stupid American’… right??? That don’t mean sh!t when it comes to pum-pum!!!
GRANT BODY – P!
Listen to Seth Rollins begging the Authority to Take Him Back.. this isn’t Ghostface Killah And Jackie-O muthaf***a!
OH SNAP!!! Here Comes The Pain! But can he Bring The Pain to the Authority??? Rollins got a taste of suplex city, but has Kane waited all this time to wreak revenge for what happened to his older brother at WrestleMania last year? Chokeslam to Lesnar – BLAOW!!!
Did I… dis I just see Seth Rollins drop the CURB STOMP super move to Lesnar from the top ropes??? I think I did!!! BACKSIDE!
Another Chokeslam by Kane – BLAOW!!! (That was for breaking the streak muthaf***a!!!)
FOR REAL???? Rollins hit the Pedigree on Lesnar???? OH SH!T! Suplex City has a mayor! and his name is TRIPLE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.