Monday Night Raw #1160, August 17, 2015!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw

OHHHHHH SH!!!!!!!!!!!!!T!!!!

I had to watch this again rude boy… Come on WWE… NO WAY can you make this a one on one wrestling contest… I want CHAIRS! TABLES! STEEL STAIRS! SHOVELS! FIGHT IN THE CROWD! FIGHT ‘TO THE DEATH’!!!

BRRRRROCCCCK LESSSSNARRRR! THE UNNNNNNDERTAAAYYYKERRR!!! One does not simply break the streak and lives! #1160! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!

wwf logoWe in Brock Lesnar’s hometown! The roof gonna go off in this b!tch!!! Throw the PG rating out the window from NOW!!!

Before we know that Raw is gonna be Off The Hook… it doesn’t hurt to endure a 20 minute segment of Triple H saying absolutely NOTHING-ERRR!!!

As for Stephanie… damn you know Triple is pulling that long hair when he rides it in!!!

How can a match be bigger than WrestleMania??? That doesn’t make any sense???? I understand the hyping part… but f**k it – I’m not complaining!

Contract signing! an F-U into the contract table? A Curb St- er I mean a Pedigree through the contract table??

Hold up – Champion Vs Champion in Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks!!! Ok that’s changed everything!

The host of Summerslam is Jon Stewart? Er nah – F**k that – the HOST of Summerslam is none other than me – Infamous Informer, Wolverhampton’s Last Outlaw, The Daywalker, Ladies Favourite Man In the Purple Suit – GRANT BODY – P!!!

Hold up – didn’t Seth Rollins have a beef with Jon Stewart???? Er… UH-OH!!!!!! Maybe Stewart should be the special guest referee for the Cena Rollins match???? DO IT WWE!!!!

AAAAH SH!T!!! Even Jonathan Coachman from ESPN will be covering the Summerslams!!!! There’s your dumb dirt sheets for ya… you d!ckheads thought he was coming back huh??? What was that? You were getting the WWE Network if Coach comes back??? You bumblehead fool – GET IN THE CHAIR!!!

Now, Cesaro and Randall team up… that’s cool. Kevin Owens & Sheamus team up… hmm how long will this last?

The fans chanting ‘You Look Stupid…’ Sheamus is like – RESPECT THE HAWK! Yeah muthaf***az! If you can respect the beard… you can respect the Hawk!!! (Oh wait…)

We got fans with representing the ‘Cesaro Section’… You still think he’s missing something Vince????

OHHHHHHHHHH SH!!!!!!T!!! THE DON OF DONS WILL SPEAK!

“When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no apology…

When the grym reaper calls your name, there is no remorse…

…BROCK LESNAR, YOU WILL NEVER REST IN PEACE…”

AAAAH SH!!!T! This Lesnar dude gonna burn in hell!!!!

SAY WHAAAAT???? If Seth Rollins beats John Cena at Summerslams, he will have his own statue in the WWE Headquarters???? ooh I can’t wait to get on the STC Predictions show on BDSIR Network!!!!! Anyone who tells me that Seth Rollins gonna win…. oh boy oh boy!!!!

Gotta love Ambrose handing Wyatt a chair and warning him if he makes one false move… Ambrose gonna f**k him up!!! What’s wrong Wyatt? You miss your rocking chair that Abigail gave you? That’s what you get for f**k!n around with the true DON OF DONS!

YO!!! BIG RESPECT AND BIRTHDAY SHOUT OUT TO THE STC ADMIN – IAN ANTHONY COOPER A.K.A. #MRSELFIE! SALUTE THIS MAN!!! (But not the tattoo on his arm hahahahaa!)

Thankfully the PWL Money In The Bank briefcase is covering that abomination of a tattoo!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

After so many power moves from Luke Harper, one superman punch and a spear later – BLAOW! Reigns wins! Ha – the Roman haters gonna hate that one! Well f**k you!

I so want Tamina to defeat Becky Lynch in this contest… but I know it won’t happen… I’d do the bogle if Tamina won!

Fans chanting Happy Birthday to Paige… yeah well… HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARCUS GARVEY!!!! SALUTE TRUE GREATNESS!

Oh well…. no bogling for me tonight… there is still Nikki Bella Vs Sasha Banks… backing Sasha… but in a strange way… I want Nikki to win… #DoTheKnowledge

Mark Henry you’re my dude but real talk – put the American Flag down! Cena already closed that chapter with Rusev…

How the f**k is Summer Rae gonna call Lana a gold digging whore??? Lana helped Rusev earn that medal – Summer Rae is trying to live off the medal… f**kouttahere!! Just open your legs and let me put it in!!!

GRANT BODY – P!!!

I love the Bulgarian flag when it pops off with Rusev looking serious on that sh!t!!!! I wished it was done for Summerslams though…

Lana calling out Summer Rae??? We gonna see Lana’s little panties again??? Why have I got this feeling that Ziggler fool is gonna show up!

THERE YOU GO!!! Ziggler! Kicks down Rusev – BLAOW! Lana! kicks down Summer!!! BLAOW!!!

MAKE THE MATCH AT SUMMERSLAMS DAMNIT!!!

I’d rather see a big dude punch thru school buses on a film called Vendetta than a queer-looking dyam arse who thinks he’s a marine! In the meantime I want he who likes to be fed more to shell shock the Miz like he’s Shredder to the Turtles!

OHHHH Ryback wants The Big Show! Your eyes might be bigger than your belly Ryback!!!!

Big Show is like – nah! GO AHEAD AND STAAAAAAARRRRRRRRVE!!!!

Dayuuum is that a marble table???? Ok guys no physicality! gotta be 100 for Summerslams!!!!

Imagine if Rollins did defeat Cena??? I’d chip in and build that statue myself! Hell – I’m sure all the Cena haters would get in there and work hard!

For real? Cena held the WWE Universe hostage for a decade? He’s a disease??? WHOA!!! Rollins injected the serum! Rollins is the cure!!! Cena haters are masturbating right now! YES – the same haters who also said – Rollins is not a good champion! Guess what b!tches! #WhoeverLosesIWIN!

Oh damn Cena put Rollins on blast! Hand picked by Triple… and the fans don’t say sh!t about him! Oh lawwwd… Cena put The Rock on blast before – how many guys can say they have done that?!

AAAAH SH!T Cena said he’s gonna do something that will haunt TRIPLE for the rest of his life! He SAID IT! He will become champion for the 16th time!!!!! Oh lawwwd he’s talking about Ric Flair…. Aaaah sh!t this is not cool!!! Triple was never Ric Flair’s b!tch!!! Why have I got this feeling Ric Flair gonna appear at Summerslam????

Can’t make out if the crowd are chanting NEW…DAY ROCKS or SUCKS!!! How can you NOT like the New Day??? And Kofi’s clap is funny as f**k!

10 matches announced. The card is complete! the question remains – who gonna be the kick off match??? Or is there one??? Well true say we don’t need to worry about a HOF segment or a musical performance which is usually wack…

RECORD SKIP??!!!! Did Wade Barrett just refer to himself and Stardust as the ‘Lords of Darkness’??? and the Don of Dons is in the building????

Beautiful Lady, Go Ladies, Lovely Lady, GO LADIES! Lovely Ladies! GO LADIES!

Ok this is the match I’m looking forward to! Nikki Bella vs Sasha Banks! #WhoeverLosesIWIN! I always win!!!!

AND HERE WE GO!!! Show dem how to do it Sasha!

Sasha killing Nikki right now! And she’s dropping press ups – LIKE A BOSS!!!

Even Nikki is stepping her game up again with her fighting style!

HOLD UP! Sasha got the Bank Statement super move on Nikki! Nikki tapping out! AAAAAH SH!T – do you know what this means? Wait – let me do the knowledge…

It could be a long shot, but at NXT Takeover Brooklyn, it’s Nikki Bella who interferes and costs Sasha the NXT Title, thus Bayley winning. But I don’t think NXT is about that storyline sh!t so, I still see Sasha losing… then next week’s RAW or any RAWS after that or Night of Champions joint, Sasha will LOSE against Nikki for the Divas title… extending her campaign for 300+ days… who will break that reign? CHARLOTTE FLAIR. Remember I told ya!

DAMN LIKE I SAID – THE ROOF HAS BLOWN OFF! CONFETTI ALL OVER THE SHOP!

NO!!!! PAUL HEYMAN HAS A HYMN! HE’S SINGING GLORY GLORY BROCK LESNAR!!! NOW THE BELL HAS TOLLED! YOU DUN IT NOW!

Oh hang on – Mind games… it’s the Undertaker – who is getting booed – but that’s ok – it’s in Lesnar’s home town… It’s all good!

I thought Brock was gonna do all the talking! Oh sh!t – the bell tolled again!

THE DON OF DONS! Ok so he’s getting booed – NO PROBLEM… because Summerslam they in Brooklyn – not Minnesota!

Dolph Vs Rusev! Sheamus Vs Orton! Fatal 4 Way Tag Title Match! Ryback Vs Miz Vs Big Show IC Title! The Shield Vs The Wyatts! Owens Vs Cesaro! Stardust and Barrett Vs Neville & Green Arrow! PCB Vs B.A.D. Vs BellaDashians! John Cena Vs Seth Rollins! BRRRROCCCK LESSSNAAR Vs THE UNNNNNDERTAAAYYYYYKERRRR! They are all…

TRIBES AT WAR!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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