Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
I wanna give a BIG SHOUT OUT to Jerry the King Lawler. That man is officially indestructible. He was calling a match, then he had heart attack, and Lawler defeated death. Most recently he was in a car accident. The man emerged with not one scratch pon him. Defeated death again! You think he’s somehow related to that Hayden Panettierre cheerleader girl in Heroes? I’m sure he has had dirty thoughts about her… she’s young after all…
GRANT BODY – P!
We are celebrating 25 years of the Don of Dons! Shout out to WWE.Com who got the divas all dressed up in sexy Undertaker like wear! Throughout this week’s blog you will see the divas in their ‘Undertaker’ gear… GOD DAYUUUUM!!!
RAW #1171! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!!!
Yo I got that new WWE2K16! On PS3 though. Because PS4 costs too much!!! People – I put it like this – it’s an eyelash BETTER than WWE2K14 on last gen, which means WWE2K15 is straight garbage! Take that sh!t back to the store and trade the sh!t in! I have it on good authority that the PS4/XBoxOne versions are brilliant. COP YOURS NOW!!!
Let’s start this sh!t! Uh-Oh… Roman Reigns! Please Roman, don’t talk longer than 5 minutes! Just be straight up, tell Seth Rollins you’re gonna beat out his blodclart, then go back up the stairs!!!
He actually took my advice!!! Well done Reigns! That’s all you need!
Forget what Rollins said, he was actually gonna go down and test Reigns! But the Authority just had to show up… but that’s ok..that Stephanie… sexy f**ka!!!!
AAAAAH SH!T! We gonna have a Survivor Series jump off on RAW? Team Rollins Vs Team Reigns! WHAAAT! But why have I got this feeling Team Rollins gonna teef and brukk up Roman’s team before the match even happens? Then Reigns gotta run the gauntlet? Will we see Triple Teef sing Another One Bites The Dust again?
Talking of the video above, Dolph Ziggler is set for action… now he got this beef going with Tyler Breeze, the new battyman of the WWE. Yes, Ziggler has passed the baton on! Tyler Breeze, a man of phenomenal skill, is wearing frilly boots, loves himself, and wears pink wrestling tights. Sorry guys… that’s GAY!
Ziggler fighting Owens… oh dear… it will be a great contest, but Ziggler cannot withstand Owens pop-up powerbomb super move!
Ziggler leg mash-up though… Come on Owens – Charlie Horse that muthaf***a! KILL HIM!!! And KILL TYLER BREEZE while you’re at it!
And another thing – Tyler Breeze taking selfies – that’s GAY as well – yeah I said it! Now in the Smack talk Centre we have a dude who takes selfies – We call him #MrSelfie, but he doesn’t act like he loves himself and sh!t! He takes selfies with his fans!
I will say that is OUTTA ORDA & Bright what Breeze did, Ziggler all f**ked up on the canvas and Breeze taking selfie right by him! HE CAN’T DO THAT!
You know what I don’t understand, if you wrestling fans love Cesaro so much, why is it that there is a small Cesaro section in every arena and not the capacity crowd? Doesn’t sound logical to me…
Now Stardust & The Ascension are running around with ‘Stardust Section’ banners over their head too… these Ascension guys have lost direction, they are supposed to be official bad men who strike fear into every tag team! Now no-one is scared of these guys!
I knew that WACK Swagger would get involved in this Del Rio/Colter sh!t… didn’t I tell you that last week? At least the ignited feud has given Swagger something to do…
Now Zeb – don’t talk about my Canadian people like that (“I’d ask the Canadian people to join us if they were not so simple-minded”) Just because you now supporting Bertie… does not mean I like you – I DON’T! I keeps it real – if the Infamous Informer don’t like you – then damnit – HE DON’T LIKE YOU! Whether you turn face or heel!
Check it – WWE are promoting Batista and his new James Bond movie! We have not seen the last of he who despite the fact he’s a Wu-Tang Fan, insists on wearing skinny jeans and funny looking Bluetista attire!
FOR REAL!!! NOW INDIA have the WWE Network???!!! I gotta say WWE how could you disrespect Cena’s most loyal fans like that? By acquiring India, revenue is gonna go through the roof with John Cena (or should I say Jhon Chyena) as the most watched superstar on the network! UK fans – APOLOGISE to WWE – we acted like spoilt brats when we wanted our network!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
OH HELL 2 THE NO!!! That blubbering potato stick in his beard Wyatt has teefed Undertaker and Kane’s powers??!! He can summon Thunder, Lightning & Fire??? He’s DONE IT NOW!!!!
But since Undertaker is due on Smackdown next week in the UK, I love to see how this plays out! But The GRANT SAYS THIS: NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT POWER…
OH NO!!!! Looks like Team Rollins is complete! joining Rollins: Kevin Owens, and The New Day! Once again – the New Day killed me! They used the Power of Positivity on Seth Rollins and guess what – IT WORKED! Rollins is there, dancing to the New Day Trombone! HA! HA! HA! HA!
Roman Reigns team is yet to be completed… but we don’t need to worry about that – it’s time for the laydeez!!!
Winner faces Charlotte at the Survivor Series joint! It is painfully obvious who is gonna win, so I’m gonna back Sasha, because she is Team B.A.D. and that’s how it goes!
YES! LOVE IT! Sasha kicked Paige out the ring and said “That’s right! This is MY HOUSE now!” TELL HER SASHA!!!
I love Sasha as much as the next man, but I’m gonna keep it real. Why does Sasha look like she bleached her skin? Answers on a postcard – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!
Sasha is fine but Naomi is still the sexiest woman on the roster – YEAH I SAID IT!
Meanwhile Becky Lynch is getting it in and beating out Paige’s blodclart!
Did Becky just… did she just drop a triple super plex on Paige, Sasha and Brie from the top? I think she did! That was off the hook!
Brie dropping the Yes kicks, Sasha issuing everybody Bank Statements, but that b!tch Paige hit Becky with the Ram-Paige super move… damnit!!! But was it surprising? Of course it wasn’t! Time for Charlotte to KILL the Anti-Diva once and for all!!
REPRESENTING TEAM REIGNS! Roman, Deano, The Ryback, and THE USOS! They’re BACK!! Roman called to his family!!! Now this Survivor Series match can jump off!
Look at Xavier running off his mouth like ‘I GOT THIS!’ – BLAOW! A ‘super kick’ in Xavier’s jawbone! Oh dear, the suoer kick is not sacred anymore… but let’s be real, there was a unique way how HBK did it.. he personalised that move. You were all jerking off when Ziggler did it and you named him the next HBK! So to that I say – SHUDDUP!
Oh dear the Power of Positivity is not working for The New Day! Kingston has been eliminated! Big E kicked in the door and hit the Big Ending Super Move on Jey Uso – BLAOW! He’s eliminated!
Jimmy Uso, with ANOTHER super kick to Big E, The remaining table saving member finds himself on the outside, Jimmy goes Uso Crazy, but runs right into a pop-up powerbomb from Owens – BLAOW!! Back Brukk!!
Ryback responds… Shell shock to Big E!!!
Rollins jumps in. Pedigree! The PEDIGREE to The Ryback!
Owens & Rollins teaming up and ,mashing up Ambrose, but they failed to realise that Lunatics have the strength of 10 men! Dirty Deeds to Owens – BLAOW!!! Now the tables are turned! Only Rollins left! He can’t take the pressure, so he thought f**k it – Steel chair to the gut of Ambrose – a shot to the back of Roman Reigns – I’m out this b!tch!
You may not like that but it masks who could possibly win in the title match… and that’s the science behind that! But Deano – talk to your girl – she took it upon herself to let us drool over her!
GRANT BODY – P!!!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.