Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
The realization just hit me. Next Monday… It’s the Infamous Informer’s birthday! LAYDEEZ!!! Show Mike Dogg your t!tt!£$!! I think I should have a week off don’t you? F**k that – I GOTTA WORK! I want to continue entertaining you readers! But I warn you.. if you don’t see next week’s blog for some reason… that’s because either Jimmy Uso gave Naomi her ‘free pass’ or… The Infamous Informer is sexing your chick while you’re complaining on the internet about Roman Reigns!
GRANT BODY -P!
RAW #1180! LETS GET THAT 2016 FLOW! HOL’DAT – BLAOW!
Well Stephanie doesn’t look too happy… but look who’s waiting at the stairs! Roman Reigns! Stephanie is talking calm… oooooooooh…that’s not good! She says she gonna make him suffer and fight for no reason until his body is destroyed! Roman says he’s gonna put a 70 year old man in Vincent Kennedy in the hospital if he f**ks with his title!!!! The question is out there!!! What is gonna happen in the title match? The Grant says this… it looks like Roman gonna f**k up Vincent Kennedy… but TRIPLE TEEF comes back… and USES DA HAMMER!!! That’s why Stephanie is talking so calm! WATCH DA RYDE!
Oh snap! Neville Vs Kevin Owens again??? AAAH yeah again and again! Will Neville neat Owens again in record time? If he does he’d better run like he should have done last week! But wait! Ambrose is at ringside… maybe Neville doesn’t need to run!
Say what???? Brock Lesnar returns on the Infamous Informer’s Born day??? Sh!t… I don’t want birthday suplexes! I bet it was you internet b!tches told him about me…
What a nasty Spike DDT from the top rope from Owens! Neville neck should have broke! SH!T! But Neville was fist and fire all over Owens! mash-up ribs and all!
Kevin Owens is STILL DA MAN! Neville did the right thing this time… just take the loss, Owens will show mercy….
Ooops! maybe not! Owens still wanted to beatdown Neville! Ambrose is having none of it! Deano, set up Owens on the announce table… Deano runs round the barricade, elbow drop to Owens through the table – BLAOW!!! And Deano grips the headpiece of Owens as if to say – DON’T F**K WITH ME!!!! Yo come the Intercontinental title match I don’t wanna see no basic singles match – these two guys are streetfighters! Take it back to the bars where the APA used to hang out!
AAAAAH SH!T! Vincent Kennedy is here! Yes, he broke the law last week, but this week, he IS THE LAW! Shout out to Motorhead!
Come on Titus! Brukk up that Stardust!!! Mash him up!!!! Beat out his blodclart!!!
Oh dear! Why doesn’t Stardust like when the crowd chant ‘Cody’??? I mean… the crowd are supporting him aren’t they??? They’re not? Oh dear….
The Clash of the Titus super move by O’Neill! BLAOW!!! Oh dear – Stardust is reading his own horoscope! It says – You got knocked the f**k out!
Looks like Becky & Charlotte gonna have another friendly wrestling contest…. YEAH RIGHT!!! Look at Ric Flair creep up behind Becky like – WOOOOOOOO!!! I’m telling you – he wants to f**k Becky!!! Yo Flair! The blue smarties is THAT WAY!!!
Nice entrance by Becky!!! I mean, she always had it in the NXT… but it’s good to see it here!
Look at Ric Flair doing his strut while the ladies are having a sparring contest! I mean sh!t! I would! I don’t know what Charlotte has been spending her WWE divas champion money on – but she’s been looking fine lately!
Oh yeah! Ric Flair gonna be on the Austin podcast next week too! WWE is being GOOD TO ME!!! All I need is Naomi…
There’s a sign in the crowd saying ‘We Want Tamina’… So Do I!!!! Can’t I have all of TeamBAD for my Birthday next week???
Hold up – Becky grabbed the tights and beat Charlotte! Charlotte don’t like that sh!t because Becky was gloating in front of her father! Now Charlotte is beating down her so-called friend! Oh dear!
Did Sheamus just call Vincent Kennedy his ‘Irish cousin’??!!!! HAHAHA!!! How can you jabronies dislike Sheamus when he has a way with words? Oh I get it… he’s not CM P…. Can that be a New Years Resolution? To not mention that muthaf***a’s name??? It’s 2016! He’s not important to us! Unless it’s the YOU EFF CEE…
Ok I’m getting bored of wrestling match after wrestling match… The Ryback fights The Big Show… yes people… this came on last week… so I’m gonna take my medicine because The Grant is sick of this sh!t!!!! Give me a storyline segment already!
AAAH SH!T! Hold the medicine! Why The Wyatt man dem wanna f**k up Ryback? What’s this about???
Hold up – They got The Big Show too!!! This is what I don’t get – The Wyatts can’t harvest any power from Show and The Ryback so what are they tryna accomplish????
Aah yes… The Royal Rumble… But it’s every man for himself though right? 4 guys cannot go to WrestleMania???? Er…
Meanwhile Dolph Ziggler is hoping to punch his ticket to big BIG WrestleMania…haahahahaha The Grant says – He will have his best Rumble performance yet… but… DREAM… DREAM….DREAM….. I BROUGHT YOU ALL MY DREAMS!!!!!!
GRANT BODY – P!
Mike wake up – wha-what-What- yo Heath Slater beat Ziggler!!! BACKSIDE!!! And Slater has a new crew! No not the 4-man band… they are #SocialOutcasts… ok well… anyway…
Vincent Kennedy is giving me joke! Telling both Sheamus and Roman Reigns that it will be a fair contest!!! (YEAH RIGHT…!!!)
Thank you to STC’s David Connor Richardson… I could have done without that information, now I didn’t get to mark out that Chris Jericho turned up! Yes the ratings need a boost, network subscriptions need a boost… to do that Jericho all you have to do is tease Stephanie’s fine @$$… job done!
Aaah sh!t – Jericho gonna enter the Royal Rumble??? Well Jericho… your fate will be the same as Ziggler… DREAM…DREAM…DREAM… I BROUGHT YOU ALL MY DREAMS!!!
Kalisto and the Dudley Boys combine their force to compete against the UpUpDownDown guys… I’m sure the trombone will get involved, but I wanna see Team BAD… can’t they interfere in this match or something and shake they @$$??
That was a nasty splash off the apron to Kalisto from Big E! But whining up his waist in front of a guy is not cool yo!!! If that was me I would have got on the mic and called out Team BAD! If they gave me the creative keys…Team BAD would be in BIG trouble!
HAHAHAHA!!! Vincent Kennedy with the power walk in his referee shirt! He could have done with a tan though… His old man body is starting to show!!!
And the match is under way!!! I hope Vincent Kennedy calls it down the middle!!! But we both know that ain’t gonna happen!
Wait a minute… Sheamus used the stairs!! THAT’S TEEF! And Vincent Kennedy had his back turned!!! Hey Vince! You said no underhanded tactics!
Remember Roman! Don’t let Sheamus put you in the submission move! Vince is a very ‘inexperienced’ referee!!!
VINCENT KENNEDY TEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!! What sort of slow count was that??!!! Roman Reigns WILL f**k him up!!! But I’m sure that Triple Teef is behind the curtain with that hammer…
Reigns goes for the cover again… this time Vincent Kennedy needs eye drops! He is 70 after all!
Why did Roman hit the Superman Punch on Vincent Kennedy? How is he gonna win???
Stephanie gets involved too! And a crooked referee! Still waiting on that Triple Teef!!!
Somehow, Roman Reigns survives… but check this out… Vincent Kennedy flips the script! Roman Reigns must defend his title against 29 other men… er that’s right… The Royal Rumble is for the World Wrestling Federation Championship! That hasn’t been done since 1992!!! This has changed EVERYTHING!!! Er now is a good time to play that track Grant…
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.
Gratefully reproduced by kind permission of The Infamous Informer at Smack Talk Centre RAW
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