Monday Night Raw #1198, May 9, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

“Sometimes it is hell, trying to get to heaven…” (Undertaker to Shawn Michaels, Feb 2009)

That’s how I feel with this University thing I got going on!

Because of that, I’m playing catch up with this week’s RAW, and by the looks of things, nothing special really happened… I turn on my Facebook and usually I see spoilers all over the shop. Instead I see no pu$$y getting wrestling jabronies running down Cameron because she got future endeavored…y’all need to go to your room and get your jerk on because I KNOW you got pics of Cameron back there…

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, Ryback’s displeasure has been compared to that of CM Princess Peach B!tch… at least the Ryback is trying to work something out with Vincent Kennedy… Not like Philippa, who actually went out and totally disregarded what brought him to the dance in the first place.

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RAW #1198! To you b!tches who made that hoax about Bobby Heenan, you sick f**k – GET IN THE CHAIR!

WWF PROPA TINGZWell the Highlight reel is back! Complete with the super Jeritron 10000 or whatever it’s called! If your guest isn’t Stephanie then I’m not interested…

Jericho you MURDERER! First you killed Francesca, now you killed Mitch??? How is this guy walking the earth?? That’s it – I’m calling the po-lice! I ain’t no snitch, but WWE is a family show… and Jericho is teaching the kids how to KILL!

For real??? They gonna push Big Cass already???? I hear you jabronies saying – that’s because Vince McMahon likes big guys! Ok so explain Titus and the Ryback to me then? FOOL!

Bad move Jericho – you should never back down from Big Cass! You just labeled yourself SAWFT!!!!

Jericho is like OH HELL 2 DA NAW!!! Dashes back to the ring – only to get kick down by Big Cass – BLAOW!!!

Baron Corbin Vs Ziggler… didn’t I see this match already? …..NEXT!!!

How da rarse did Fandumbgay escape the future endeavoured list and not Sandow? Now I know why you wrestling fans are mad! I’m surprised there isn’t a petition! Here’s me hoping PWL bring him & Cameron over! YES! I wanna get my hands on that Cameron… OHHHHH!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH MY GOD!!! I think Goldust fancies Fandango!!!! What is all this whining up their body wiggle that belly boom shak-a-lak sh!t??? I think Tyler Breeze likes that sh!t too! I’m close to handing in my wrestling card… then I remember Naomi…

Guess Who Loves Naomi More

OK I’m good now… lets continue!

OH NO! NOT THAT DASTARDLY RIC FLAIR! Ok so he’s banned from ringside at the Extreme Rules joint, but he’s not banned from this match! Come on Charlotte! Use your sexy legs and kick down Paige!

Why would he argue with Nattie? Nattie was just sitting there looking pretty! Oh I get it… he wants some of that Canadian Steak… TJ is not around so Ric Flair is like – you want a man with experience!

GRANT BODY-P!

NO! Shane has sent referees after Flair! He can’t do that! Can’t he support his daughter? OH SNAP! Paige used the distraction roll up pin! Paige can fight for title! Well THE GRANT SAYS – No you’re never gonna get it – NOT THIS TIME! Shout out to En Vogue! I used to have wet dreams about them in my teenage years… YEAH I SAID IT!

Told ya… I have weakness for long legs!

I love that Helluva kick by Sami Zayn to the Miz mouth corner – BLAOW! It’s officially a Fatal Four Way jump off at the Extreme Rules joint which says show stealer written all over it! But we already knew that!

For real? They brought Dana Brooke to the dance? YES!!!! You know what this storyline with Dana, Emma and Becky reminds me of? Remember Lay-Cool Vs Mickie James? I can ryde toGRANT BODY PHENOM this! I heard my beautiful Naomi is mash-up, she needs to come to me for some healing, I would love to see Team BAD Vs EmD! Throw the creative book out the window and let them go at it!

Oh lawwd look pon Rusev – he’s showing Kalisto how to do it! Throwing Sin Cara all over the shop!

OH NO! Another distraction roll up crime by Sin Cara to Rusev! It should be Lana signalling for ‘Rusev Crush’ not Rusev! Oh no… Lana rompin shop lock up tonight!

GRANT BODY-P!

This is the part where I will allow you to complain about how Gallows, Anderson and Styles are now known as ‘The Club’… that’s WACK! How did we go from the 4 Horsemen, to the Road Warriors, to the Hart Foundation, to the NWO, to D-Generation X, to the Brothers of Destruction, to the NEXUS, to the Aces & Eights to The Shield…. to THE CLUB???? Knock yourself out wrestling fans… I won’t stop you this time!

Looks like some mind game business between Roman Reigns and AJ Styles! Styles was gonna hit Reigns with the Styles clash on the steel chair… Roman look like he was gonna clock Reigns with the chair if Styles went for the flying forearm!

If you boo Kevin Owens over Wack Ryder – YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM! Pop up Powerbomb to the fool – BLAOW! Woo Woo Woo – KNOW THAT MUTHAF***A!

OHHHHHH!!!! “You see the Vaudevillians, come from an era, where they were not too kind to people like us…” BIG E JUST SEALED IT RIGHT THERE! I wonder what my peoples at Perfect Plex/Fox Sports Radio gotta say about that???!!! Vaudevillians – YOU GON LOSE THAT MATCH AT TH EXTREME RULES JOINT!

Like the switch up to ‘smart phone users!’ but we know what New Day meant really!

Wait a minute – the Vaudevillians come and teef during the New Day Vs Dudley Boys match – but I see no Shane with security to escort these 14th century fools out of here???? That’s not right!

What in blazes is Deano doing with Jericho’s jacket on? He can’t wear that!!! That’s not yours!

OH SNAP! Deano brukk up the jacket! Jericho gonna catch cold now! That cost $15,000! Do you realise Jericho has to go back on tour with Fozzy now to make that money up??? Either that or get his moms to stitch it back up for him! Now Big Cass is out here! Er… oh no! Looks like Jericho has become the millennium bug! It’s the end of his world as he knows it! can he save himself and break the code?

Jericho just slapped him! Cass is like – WORD??? You slap like a b!tch! You must have taught yourself that!

“ARE YOU OUTTA YOUR MIND!!!” Holy crap – Jericho goose cook! Deano with the Dirty Deeds to Jericho – BLAOW! What’s that I smell? I smell – I SMELL – DOO DOO! coming from Jericho brief!

Finally what’s this I hear? Kevin Owens fighting Brock Lesnar in June? Cena fighting Shinsuke Nakumura? let me guess – Nakumura has to ‘prove himself’ against Cena because – he’s the face who runs the place right? If Nakumura loses – even I will join in the riots with you guys!

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SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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