Monday Night Raw #1202, June 6, 2016!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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In a way I feel sorry for Michael Bisping. It took him about a decade to finally climb the UFC mountain, but this muthaf***a Brock Lesnar had to steal the limelight didn’t he! Now they sent Mark Hunt to deal with the conqueror! No one can beat him in WWE, So they had no choice!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news, I have no sympathy for Ariel Helwani. He should know better as a journalist, you don’t leak sh!t and spoil sh!t on the internet. He couldn’t give UFC fans the mark out element of surprise satisfaction. UFC were 100-1000% right to ban his b!tch @$$… Dirt sheets are the devil, and this is living proof.

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RAW #1202! Can we not talk about RAW and talk about the beautiful Arianny instead? NO? ARRRRRR DAMNIT!!!!

Where the backside this interview deh? While I’m waiting for RAW to start,  and Paul Heyman said he interviews Brock Lesnar… 7pm EST he said. I’m here checking his twitter, WWF PROPA TINGZhis YouTube, and I don’t see a rarse. Heyman Hustle my back foot!

So w’happen – Jericho, Owens, Zayn, Cesaro, Ambrose and Bertie are all standing on ladders cutting a promo? Ok interesting! Ambrose is like – enough foolishness – lets start fighting so I can brukk up your blouse cup!

Look at Cesaro – he  looks out-of-place in his suit compared to the others doesn’t he? He did blow Jericho up – he invented this sh!t and never won the sh!t!

Wait a minute – Teddy Long? He’s gonna put the guys in a tag te…. wait a minute – Stephanie? He called her – baby girl! HELL YEAH! But Stephanie can’t tell Teddy to get to steppin???? Who taught her that? You can’t teach that? unless your name is Enzo Amore or GRANT BODY-P!

Who taught Stephanie to dance like that???? It wasn’t Triple TEEF – He only knows Motorhead!

Steph has put the guys in single matches… as Cesaro fights Jericho, who would have thought that Jericho’s ‘stupid idiot’ phrase would get over!

OH NOW THE BROCK LESNAR INTERVIEW IS UPLOADED TO YOUTUBE – AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT! RAW IS ON… YOU STUPID IDIOT!

Oh… it’s only 7 minutes long… I’m sure I can watch it while a crappy match is on!

Whoa! Jericho countered the giant swing? Cesaro tries a springboard attack – Jericho counters with a Codebreaker – BLAOW! He might just be the best in the world in what he does!

How did Cesaro manage to counter the Walls of Jericho into the giant swing then into the sharpshooter????? WOW!!!! Great contest!!!

I knew they would make this a 3 and half years in the making thing from 2012 when The Shield start til now…you know I try to tell the wrestling fans that but as usual, I’m just a  casual fan… not a wrestling expert like you lot!

Wack Swagger still has a job? That muthaf***a should have been future endeavoured! Oh- it’s his hometown? SO?????!!!!! Make him find his yard! RUSEV CRUSH! BREAK HIS BACK!

Mike Cole just said “Swagger – former World Heavyweight Champion!” sheeeeeeet!!!!

Hold up – Rusev wins by count out but Swagger is not done with Rusev? They are not thinking of making this a Triple Threat are they?

AVENUE!!!! JOHN CENA SUCKS! JOHN CENA SUUUUCKS! F**K THAT – JOHN CENA IS GREAT!

Oh come on Cena what sort of question is that? WHY AJ WHY? Obviously Cena is dumber than I thought, I thought he was smarter than that because he comes across as that on Total Divas…

…and nothing has changed – WHOA!!!! Cena said ‘BULLET CLUB!’ I bet Vincent Kennedy is losing his sh!t in the control room!

GOOD LORD – JOHN CENA IS GOING IN!!!! DAYUUM AJ STYLES DON’T WANT NONE!!!!!

GOOD LORD – STYLES JUST SAID – CENA TAKES SHOVELS AND BURIES GUYS LIKE HIM! YO I HAVE TO TYPE IN CAPITALS! THE IWC GOT SUPER SPERM ALL OVER THE COMPUTER!

Just as the Bullet Club was about to brukk up Cena, The New Day come through! No skipping, no booty-os, no trombone – THESE GUYS ARE SERIOUS!

This segment is WrestleMania quality!!!! I award that segment 5/5 Undertaker title reigns!

Enzo Amore’s mic skills are so off the hook, I’m not so sure John Cena can test him in hardcore thuganomics!

GRANT BODY-P!

Massive respect to Enzo & Cass who showed love to Muhammad Ali – seriously – how can you not show love? Straight up and down, if you got hate for Ali, get the f**k off my plantation!

No way – the Vaudevillians tried to f**k up Enzo… and Big Cass hs straight lost it. This ain’t no wrestling match – Big Cass was like – ring the f**k!n bell and disqualify me I don’t give a f**k – I’m gonna stomp these muthaf***az out back to NXT!

Hold up – TEDDY LONG STRUCK AGAIN! He just said – get the Vaudevillians, Enzo & Cass, Bullet Club, and The New Day, and throw them in a Fatal 4 Way match for the munny innah bank! Then Stephanie takes all the credit???? She can’t do that?? Reminds me when Sophia Stewart wrote the Matrix story and got no props for it…

The way WWE has built up the profiles of both Reigns and Rollins has been off the hook… again – WrestleMania quality. I dare say this could be the hottest Money innah bank since 2011 when CM Punk and John Cena collided… what a program that was!

…and then there is Ambrose… Mike Cole, JBL and that other dude keep talking of the possibility that Ambrose could win then he can cash his cheque for the Shield triple threat match… well I can’t avoid it any longer, and at least it won’t be at WrestleMania!

Ambrose defeats Kevin Owens, then attempts to make a statement y grabbing a ladder and reaching for the briefcase… but Owens recovers and throws Ambrose off the ladder! If Owens doesn’t win… it will be worries or everybody!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Now here’s what I’ve been waiting for! My ‘bit on the side’ Charlotte with her fine leggy self! Dana Brooke with those lush t!TT!£$!

GRANT BODY-P!

I don’t know about earning my respect Charlotte, but you definitely earned my lust… standing at attention! But I am interested to see where this is going…

Dana – Nattie and Becky speak the truth – Charlotte turned on her flesh & blood… you have no chance! Unless you’re gonna use Charlotte before she uses you!

Big ups to WWE wack and every time for putting their spin on the Muhammad Ali tribute… hold on –  is this man in the WWE Hall Of Fame? But jabronies like Drew Carey are in before him????? Unforgivable WWE…

Ok the New Day are back out now… in a better mood it seems, they must have been playing some Tekken backstage and uploading it to UpUpDownDown!!! They must have had Sasha up in there lifting their spirits… if you know what I mean!

GRANT BODY-P!

Oh no – Xavier Woods taken out the game early… not good for New Day at all!

Clearly The Bullet Club get the win… but there were not done! Wanna stamp out Kingston? That’s not right! Here comes Cena! Like it’s 2005 all over again! Kingston recovers with a drop kick, Big E comes through with the Big Ending and Cena hits the FUAA! Ooooh the haters ain’t gonna like that!

NO…. the word is that death got Kimbo Slice too… death will not rest… one of these days somebody gonna come kick death’s @$$!

SALUTE. GRANT BODY-P!!!

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