Monday Night Raw #1209, July 25, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

…And STILL!!! WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CHAMPION, DEAN AMBROSE!

I was wondering why the internet was so quiet, but I’m glad you guys finally got your Shield orgy… CAN WE MOVE ALONG NOW PLEASE?

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… I’m still without internet, (Or electric or food for that matter) so this blog is based on the highlights of RAW… so I warn you now, eating a snickers WILL NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!

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It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, and it’s a new era…. For me!!!!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

When in doubt, blame Reigns…. look at his face – he looks like he wants to hit a superman punch in Stephanie’s mouth! That’s why there’s no champion on RAW folks! Seriously Roman Reigns I have a new theme song for you… I’ll unleash it later…

BACKSIDE! So there’s two Fatal4Way matches. winner faces each other in the main event on RAW, winner of that faces Seth Rollins at Summerslam for the Universal Championship? Wait – that means Seth can go out and play Pokemon Go while these guys battle it out?

GRANT BODY-P!

Trust me – if Roman Reigns came down to this… He’d get over ONE TIME!

FOR REAL? They gonna put on my girl Nia Jax now? YES! Oh lawd she just shown that poor girl how to do it… When that turkey thigh of Nia’s lands on your t!tt!£$ there should be a Mortal Kombat X-ray effect word up!

FATAL4WAY JUMP OFF! Cesaro VS Finn Balor Vs Kevin Owens Vs Rusev!

WORD!!!! Rusev positions himself underneath Balor & Owens, turns a superplex into a massive powerbomb off the top! Cesaro, Balor and Owens mash-up!

In the end, Balor hits the Coup de grace on Rusev! Spread your arms out people – Balor advances!

Second FATAL4WAY JUMP OFF! Roman Reigns Vs Sami Zayn Vs Chris Jericho Vs Sheamus!

See this is why I can NEVER boo Roman Reigns and why I keep it 100… doing that Undertaker like move over the top ropes crashing on Sheamus, Zayn and Jericho, it just tells me that YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. All Y’all are sheep, gotta catch Pokémon zombies!

GRANT BODY-P!

Y2J Hoping to give Reigns the gift of Jericho and drink it in, dashes for him – Reigns jumps over him showing great agility, comes off the ropes – spear – BLAOW!!!! Reigns advances! Haters shut the f**k up!

Thank god those stupid outcasts are no more… they were my bathroom break word up! Enter Mr irrelevant – Curtis Axel… yep that sounds about right – mash him up Neville!

He calls himself that because he was the last pick in the draft… if it is any consolation Curtis your friend Heath Slater is still sitting there in the draft room waiting to be picked!

Heath Slater unpicked

Look at the state of his eye god dayuuuuuum! That must have been a mean uppercut from DEEBO!

“NEGATIVITY WON’T AFFECT US, CLAP ‘CAUSE IT’S INFECTIOUS…” – The New Day

Well THE GRANT SAYS Xavier you did look kinda shook from the Wyatts! But hey, I’ll play along… New Day longest reigning tag team champions! it’s a celebration! B!TCHES – Show the New Day your t!tt!£$!

OH MY DAYS they added the clip with Triple & Stephanie twerking! DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!

WHO WANTS TO BE AN HONORARY MEMBER OF THE NEW DAY? As much as I love them, it’s not gonna be The Infamous Informer you know why? The Infamous Informer is a man of pride, and the Infamous Informer does not TWERK!

(he will whine up against a kriss gyal and make the wallpaper strip though….)

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO!!!! The Bullet Club have come for the New Day or more so, their W….W….E… WORLD…. TAG…. TEAM… CHAMPIONSHIPS!

They hit the Magic Killer on BIG E – BLAOW!!!!

Now it’s just hit me what could possibly happen… but I gotta see how SmackDown plays out first…

NO NOT THE HONORARY NEW DAY MEMBER!!!! LEAVE HIM ALONE! HE DID NOTHING TO YOU! See this is the part where Jim Ross would normally go off on one! Because that man has a family who loves him!

They spat in the New Day shirts And threw them at the dude! DISRESPECT! If that was me I would have jumped over the barricade and throwing lefts and rights! I KNOW WING CHUN IP MAN KUNG FU!

GRANT BODY -P!

What has Braun Strowman done to his headtop? And when did local competitors from WWE LIVEWIRE get drafted on RAW? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me at @MZATheInfamous!

Yo WWE – I heard Enzo & Cass quoted my boys (Wu-Tang) in their promo again this week! So why you showing me highlights of their match with the Shining Stars? Their highlights are the promos they drop! FIX UP!!!!!!

Charlotte must defend her title against Sasha Banks! A lot sooner than I imagined! I was hoping for a Summerslam jump off!

With the Universal Championship about to jump off, are we gonna have the same for the tag titles and women’s championship on Smackdown?

OH SNAP! Charlotte with the women’s title in Sasha’s face like ‘ you will never have this!’ Sasha kicked it out her hand and rushed her.. LIKE A BOSS!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Sasha using the Eddie Guererro LIE CHEAT & STEAL TECHNIQUE! She threw the belt at Dana, Sasha throws herself on the floor like she got clocked in the head with the belt, the referee throws Dana out the building!!!! Sasha killin the full set of teet!!!

UNBELIVABLE! Charlotte jumps off top ropes, reverse moonsault and takes Sasha down!

Wait a minute, Charlotte goes for the cover… on the outside? This isn’t falls count anywhere is it? If not – why you IWC fools not clowning her like you did Cameron when she pinned Naomi’s t!tt!£$ on the mat????

GRANT BODY-P!

OH SNAP! SASHA GOT THE BANK STATEMENT SUPER MOVE ON CHARLOTTE! It’s curtains for her now!!!!

SASHA BANKS – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION WOMEN’S CHAMPION!!!!

Roman Reigns Vs Finn Balor! Winner faces Seth Rollins at Summerslam!

Roman starts the match off aggressively here, throws Balor around the ring like a rag doll! Clubbing him in the corner! What a vicious, violent side to Roman Reigns here!

Finn Balor is playing counter technique! He has to out manuever the big man!

Reigns going for the Razor’s Edge Powerbomb but gets countered into a pinning predicament!

GOOD LORD! Reigns counters into one powerbomb, still holding on into a sit-down powerbomb! THIS IS THE MAN YOU BOO??? I PITY YOU… SERIOUSLY!

Balor kicks out and Reigns is smiling about it!!! There’s plenty of fight left in the kid!

Balor gaining momentum! Jumps off top ropes – hits the coup de grace – BLAOW!!!

1,2 AND….. BUMBACLART!!!! FINN BALOR IS GOING TO SUMMERSLAM! Where’s the Summerslam logo so he can point to it?!!!!!! And it was his birthday too! Imagine all that on his debut in the main roster!

SPREAD YOUR ARMS PEOPLE! THIS IS HUGE! Just when the IWC were jerking off from the Shield orgy from Battleground, they must have blasted their semen with this one! ONE MUTHAF***A DON’T LIKE IT – VINCE RUSSO… Just wait til STC FROM THE UK on BDSIR NETWORK THIS WEEKEND… I’m gonna BURN HIS SOUL LIKE ETHER!!!!

#DOTHEKNOWLEDGE

#GETINTHECHAIR

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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Respect as always to our friend in the Midlands “The Infamous Informer” for the use of his blog

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