Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!
Right… I just come back from London after an epic Tekken tournament, and after RAW last week, I just didn’t have the passion, energy, drive to watch 3 hours of that sh!t. So I’m playing catch up this week. RAW, you got one more chance to convince the viewers that Summerslam is gonna be the sh!t! Big weekend a gwarn with NXT, UFC 202.. so DON’T FAIL ME!
In other news: I’ll just leave this pic here.
REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A WEIRDO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY LIKE ROB GOOD. HE WILL NEVER KNOW A WOMAN’S WORTH!
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RAW 1212! Why can’t RAW be as fast paced as Mr Bolt? Well not that fast but you get the idea!
Look Rusev, it’s your own fault Roman Reigns crashed your sh!t last week… your segment was wack, it dragged on, now if you celebrated like Edge and Lita did back ten years ago (PG GRANT) – No – Vincent Kennedy said Steph could break the law so I wanted to see Rusev get in Lana’s panties live on RAW!
That’s the Mick Foley I know – that dude who comes out in his judging clothes – not that guy in a stupid @$$ suit!
WHOA! That sexy @$$ Stephanie defending Mick Foley? Er..stay close to your loved ones folks!
Roman Reigns realised the women (or his wife) don’t like the ruff beard he had going on! He sends his apologies to you women, and sends apologies to Rusev for finding his wife on redtube! STC’S Edmond Mulhall knows all about that don’t you Ed? He knows where all the naked videos of Taryn Terell is at!!! DUTTY BWOY!
Rusev just called Roman a greasy pig?!!! I don’t know about you guys but who looks more like a greasy pig out of the two? If you say Roman – YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! Go and play Pokémon on your phone like a good little boy go on…!!!
Rusev gonna defend his woman! AND RIGHTFULLY SO! NO ONE disses my woman and lives!!!
Cesaro and Sheamus will compete in a best of 7 series starting from the Summerslam joint! I don’t know about this… this was superb with Chris Benoit & Booker-T, but this? I seen them fight twice already and I’m bored with their @$$£$…
WTF is that? A female Doink? Even my Nia Jax looks confused! Nia, dispose of this fool!
These Bullet Club mans are giving me joke! Ringpostitis?!!! Can they find a cure for this wrestling cancer too?
They have an unhealthy interest in breaking the balls of the New Day… I GET IT! It’s because The New Day get all the sexy gyal on their UpUpDownDown Show! AWW! I SEE NOW!
Jon Bon JeriKO? I love Enzo & Cass but they better be careful who they dealing with! One man who powerbombed MGK to the depths of hell where he belongs and the other – who gives women the gift and makes them drink it in!!!
Hold up – Jericho running away from Big Cass? That’s uncharacteristic surely!!! He must be wukkin brain!
Oh it’s that good old-school heel technique of running around the ring and then the fan favourite running into an enemy attack – only this time Big Cass dropped a clothesline on Kevin Owens!
Damn Roman! Who boxed you in your eye? Was it STC’S Stephen Cooper? Is that why he’s in hiding now? Because the women want your blood?
Look here! Titus and Darren Young fighting like a well oiled unit!!! OH WAIT – PAUSE!
I guess there was mis-communication between Titus & Darren… Titus doesn’t want to be great again!
Shining Stars pick up the win but I don’t see the crowd clapping or anything! They just sitting there like – NEXT! See I told you jabronies this was gonna happen if you brought the brand extension back – but as usual, I’m just the Infamous Informer – I don’t know anything do I?
I understand the wrestling concept of ‘making an impact’ and have all eyes ears and voices on you… but Heath Slater… er… going after Brock Lesnar? That’s like DDP going after The Undertaker’s then-wife – Sara! Undertaker f**ed him up so bad, the next time we saw DDP – he’s practicing yoga to heal his wounds!
OH MY GOD – Heath interrupted Heyman??? then Brock took the mic to speak???? Get my black suit please we may have a funeral to attend here…
Heath is thinking of his kids!
“I got kids too, come on in here. I feel you, let’s talk about your kids…I don’t give a sh!t about your kids!” OH MY DAYS THAT’S THE LINE OF THE NIGHT! GIVE THAT BEAST AN AWARD!
Heath he disrespected your kids! You gotta defend your honor – BOX HIM! It might be like Will Smith boxed ‘Mad Dog’ but you would die for your kids right?
OH NO! HEATH SLATER IS NOW IN SUPLEX CITY!!!! Was it worth it? I hear the Rage of Sparta music in the background! 911 CALLING!!!!
F5 TO SLATER – BLAOW!!!!! Ok how does this suit look on your boy? I think I’m ready to pay my respects to Heath Slater now…
You mean to tell me that while Charlotte & Dana were chatting backstage the guy in the background was reading newspaper like nothing happened? He must be cumse-cumsa surely!
Look at Seth Rollins breathing in the fresh air… DON’T GIVE ME JOKE!
Look at him looking for the ‘demon king’ like he’s looking for his dog named Kirby!
Instead of picking up that kriss gyal, Seth finds Neville! Who warns him – you don’t f**k with Finn Balor the demon! HIM NAH READY!
Oh no – not Jon Stewart at Summerslam again??? Who let him in the door? Foley you sir are slippin! You mean to tell me that’s the best you can do? You couldn’t get Method Man up in there?
BLOODY USELESS YOU ARE FOLEY! USELESS I SAY!
Stephanie & Mick seem to get along really well! Better him than me – I would be so tempted to ask her if I can get some p-
MICHAEL EARL GRANT!!!!
Alright I’ll behave!
Whoa-Whoa-Whoa – PAUSE – DID I HEAR RIGHT? Beyoncé & Jiggaman gonna be at the Brooklyn party when Sasha retains her women’s title! Yo over here Sasha! This man needs an invitation!
Talking of invitations., Charlotte invites Sasha to the ring… but that dastardly Dana Brooke – TEEF!!! Now the dutty gyal of the game got Sasha in the figure 8!
Look at Dana Brooke getting in there and putting her boots into Sasha chest! Taking her boss glasses and braking them in half! Oh boy when Sasha catches up with her she gonna be in deep…. doo-doo!!!
I don’t speak about The Golden Truth that much, but if the Bullet Club take R-Truth and give him Ringpostitis then I fear that these Bullet Club mans have a problem with us brothers… #BlackBallsMatter
NO WAY! The New Day rushed the Bullet Club! Luke Gallows was gonna have his balls broken by Francesca! Oh the humility! With that right there… I just done the knowledge… this is a feud. It’s not over at Summerslams….
It’s really good to see Xavier Woods step up his aggression game too… very impressed since the Wyatts had him shook!
Watching the demon king/Seth Rollins segment, my flatmate was ‘disgusted’ of the devilishment of Finn Balor! So instead of me spreading my arms in unison in the entrance, I found myself laughing! My flatmate was like – ‘Dexter – put him on the table!’
But I heard about the stupid fan who jumped in and tried to big up his chest against Seth and Seth pitch him one side! I don’t wish death on nobody but that muthaf**in top flight security should have tasered his dumb @$$ just like they did that ex Aston Villa footballer.. may he R.I.P.
Rusev! Now fighting for his girl’s honor! Hey Rusev – keep it in the family right? I mean… The Rock claims he’s been up there!!!
Rusev applies the accolade super move! Will Reigns tap? Or will Rusev bend his back out? (yeah I know… doesn’t sound right!) That’s wrestling for ya!
Reigns reaches the ropes! Reigns got nothing to lose though! Reigns hits the spear on Rusev – BLAOW!!! Rusev is lucky the title is on the line – but that’s the guy Lana loves?
MORAL OF THE STORY – Fighting for honor don’t mean sh!t in the World Wrestling Federation! ONLY TITLES COUNT! Fighter’s pride how dull!
From what I see on YouTube, RAW was almost as dragging as last week… take Brock away, take the Rollins segment away, RAW was wack… don’t get me wrong, I got some joke out of it, it’s what I do! But imagine sitting through it… good lord!
IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!
DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE, THE SMACK TALK CENTRE OR BDSIR NETWORK.