Monday Night Raw #1215, September 5, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

So… how was your Labor Day?

See, the UK doesn’t believe in such a holiday. The UK government wants us to work work work work work like Rihanna! Then when we get paid, they take the money away from us and call it tax. Now if it was Rihanna herself, I would put in the work work work work work!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news: I’ll just leave this here…

sasha banks mash up

Bwoy some of those bumps she took at the Summerslams didn’t look good at all… let’s see how long she’s out the game for… not too long I hope… or is it a switch? Mark Henry changed the announcement game with that sh!t!

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RAW 1215! WELCOME TO THE KEVIN OWENS SHOW!

WWF PROPA TINGZ

All is not well between Stephanie & Mick Foley!!! But SWITCH! Stephanie feels embarrassed of her husbands actions! She swears that she had nothing to do with what happened! Foley I feel you son, it’s that dirty TRIPLE TEEF!!! He cannot be trusted!

It’s a celebration the world over! Kevin Owens – the NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION UNIVERSAL CHAMPION! But last time I check, he doesn’t like all this balloons and pyro? Remember what he did in Japan last year? Beast From The East on WWE Network? THE GRANT REMEMBERS!

GRANT BODY-P!

Yes! Owens you DO deserve it! And in typical Owens fashion, he throws it back in their face! Oh well, the IWC d!ck riding is over!

Let’s see if Seth Rollins has turned face, or at least a tweener!

He’s blaming it all on Stephanie! Look – how can Stephanie jump in there and throw punches and kicks and hammers?

Holy crap – Seth Rollins just got suspended? Hang on – Mick Foley just reversed the sh!t!

Foley is the General manager after all! Kevin Owens will defend the title against Seth Rollins at the Clash of the Champions joint! I would have renamed it ‘Unforgiven’ but hey…

Whoa-Whoa-Whoa-Whoa- Mick – you can’t put Kevin Owens in a match against Sami Zayn???? There goes that stipulation…

Jericho – now you gotta face Seth Rollins for running off your mouth – you stupid idiot! Now you’re gonna get – IT!

Damn that Charlotte…. I hear voices in my head and they talk to me about Charlotte’s physique!

Can Bayley knock off the women’s champion with a distraction roll up? Remember I told ya!

Look at Dana with a clipboard taking notes like she’s in a wrestling lecture 101! She’s hoping for that first class honors! If she doesn’t get a 2.0. average she will get expelled!

Even after Charlotte worked the legs of Bayley, Dana faces her scholarship being revoked! Bayley’s victory now earns her a title shot!

HAHAHAHAHA! Charlotte just called Bayley the – Sesame Street kid! That is brilliant! Bayley will forever be associated with children’s tv! If you so much as find Bayley attractive – SLAP YOURSELF! Well better her than Paige anyway…

GRANT BODY-P!

I wouldn’t be surprised if Seth Rollins got himself disqualified here in his match against Jericho… Seth is BEXXXXX!!! He might send Jericho for the Tandem Engine!

Seth actually channeled his rage and made it a competitive match up! Seth hits the pedigree on Jericho and gets the win! Not sure what that Triple TEEF thinks of that now!

Sorry Cesaro section, and sorry Sheamus fans! This best of 7 thing BORES ME. YEAH I SAID IT. Cesaro got sellotape all over his back now, look how long he got that sellotape on his shoulder! BACKSIDE! Wake me up when it’s over…

Giving a massive born day shout out to my co-host of STC From The UK -The Sadistic Shadfather! Ladies – SHOW THIS MAN YOUR TITT1£$!

Shadfather

I wasn’t gonna say anything about this tag team match but when Enzo Amore dived through the ropes to Shining Stars and then stood up folding his arms RUN DMC STYLE – YOU CAN’T TEACH THAT!

Come on guys give me something to write about!

Thank you Sami & Owens! They just confirmed their rivalry is not dun!

GRANT BODY P

…and what sort of friend is Alicia Fox? So happy that her friend is having her ‘debut’ against my girl Nia Jax, but she’s not there to support her at ringside? HA – Alicia fool-fool anyway, who lets a grown man dump her on twitter? F**KOUTTAHERE!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! The Old Day? Now that is cold! Now I’m no expert, but when black people grow old… they DO NOT ACT LIKE THAT! They stand strong! Take my Uncle Ferdy for example, he is 90 years old… he can still out dance you young women! Even Ric Flair would struggle!

Seriously RAW you need those cruiserweight cats in your show. Once those are up in there, we gonna see a better fast paced show, RAW may pull off big moments such as Sasha Banks or Kevin Owens winning titles, but Smackdown is the overall better show right now.

Oh snap – Sasha is here, but she got bad news for us. OH SH!T… er wait there…- wait a minute – Dana Brooke can’t fight an injured Sasha????

SWITCH! Sasha did the Eddie Lie Cheat & Steal technique on Dana! The bad news is for Charlotte – she’s coming back for her title at the Clash of Champions joint!  – BUT WAIT – Bayley beat Charlotte too! I smell Triple Threat match!

I’m not gonna talk about this match with Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens – f**k that – let’s throw up a pic of AJ Lee – for no reason!

AJ TIGHT UP SKIRT

I see some of you wishing AJ Lee would come back – well THE GRANT SAYS – Once she divorces that wimp who I’d give a good thrashing – I believe she would return! But until that time… dreams are only dreams!

OH SNAP! Roman Reigns wants the title too! Er didn’t the prizefighter realise that once you become the champion – you’re the hunted? Foley is like – if he can beat Owens, then it will be a Triple Threat Match! UH-OH!!! But here’s the twist – Jericho might not let that happen!

No sign of that dirty Triple TEEF! I was expecting him! But see, that’s what happens when you expect something in WWE – You only find yourself disappointed!

GRANT BODY-P!

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#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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