Monday Night Raw #1222, October 24, 2016!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

On this day, you wrestling fans can get your revenge! Why? I turned on my Facebook this morning, word up – seems like everybody on this Walking Dead thing. LOOK – I ain’t tryna watch no muthaf**!n zombies – OK! But damn this sh!t is real to you right? Yo wrestling fans – GET EM…

walking-dead-wack

Y’all know that muthaf**a who ‘dies’ said ‘cheque please’ and is not spending a dime on your crying @$$£$!

GRANT BODY-P!

In other news… on this day… something is supposed to happen which changes wrestlers lives… er… enlighten me????

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RAW 1222! BROCCCCCCCCK!!!! WHAT YOU GONNA DO KID?

WWF PROPA TINGZ

Standing ovation for he who has the dreaded list! Now you can buy the T-shirt! YES!!! Fantastic!

He has terrible news? What? The triple threat match scheduled for the main event has been cancelled? Whoever cancelled it must go on the list!

Hold up – the list is stolen???? What sort of atrocity? Quick – call Dexter! Put the criminal on the table! This is not right!

Crowd chanting – ‘Where’s the list?’ Kevin Owens doesn’t care about the list! DISRESPECT!

Maybe Stephanie got the list?! Nobody must leave the arena until the list is found!

SERIOUSLY STEPHANIE! You need to come over here and let me lay you down and… ok I’ll stop!

SETH ROLLINS GOT THE LIST! DEXTER SORT HIM OUT!

UH-OH! Stephanie is on the list???? That’s not right!

KEVIN OWENS IS ON THE LIST TOO? GOOD LORD!

Oh god – I hope Seth doesn’t do anything drastic to that list! It’s Jericho’s livelihood! It’s more precious than the World Wrestling Federation Championship!

For real Balding Club? You gonna just shut down Enzo & Cass up like that?

Obviously shutting down the mic is no problem! They did their promo anyway and got over with the crowd!

Enzo Amore defeated Anderson! Balding Club lose again! Internet Wrestling Community HOW YOU DOIN?

GRANT BODY-P!

Yep – Rusev isn’t afraid of Hell In a Cell… course you aren’t… Sasha and Charlotte are going in there! And just like I said to those two sexy @$$£$, I’m gonna say the same to you Rusev – Undertaker is NOT your opponent!

To those who think The New Day have gone stale… you might as well go to the tattoo parlour and get ‘Trump’ tattooed on your forehead like the STUPID IDIOT you are!

dyam-arse-trump

This Cesaro and Sheamus sh!t is a repeat of Miz and Mizdow in a sense where you cheer one but boo the other relentlessly. You would think that they will become tag team champions, but given New Day’s 428 title reign (6 days away from the ‘sacred’ 434) I can’t see it happening.

Nice touches by WWE2K17 to make Cesaro’s Giant Swing and New Day’s Unicorn stampede OMG moves! Gives me an incentive to play as them, as if there were any doubt!

Kofi Kingston has learned a valuable lesson… never fly at Cesaro… you will run into an uppercut – BLAOW! His chin probably looks like James Ellsworth right about now!

GRANT BODY-P!

Jinder Mahal is actually killing me! ‘One must find the list, but first, he must find inner peace!’ Breathe in Breathe out! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SUPERB!

Last time Bayley and Dana fought, there was some funny business that happened… they shall fight again! Bayley got that same sellotape on her shoulder that Cesaro got! Is there something going on there??? Answers on a postcard please – tweet me @MZATheInfamous!

Hold on – an arm wrestling match???? Yo creative – 2003 is THAT WAY! The crowd want wrestling – Not arm wrestling!

Dana Brooke TEEEEEEEF! Bayley was on the verge of beating Dana in a dry @$$ arm wrestling contest but Dana had to drop a cheap shot! Like I say – if they did this 15 years ago the crowd would be invested!

Jericho said he would never put Stephanie on the list… well the Grant says Stephanie, you are on MY LIST… The list of GRANT BODY-P!

Aaaaaah sh!t Curtis Axel get serious now! No more AxelMania Royal Rumble sh!t, no more social outcast bullsh!t, time to be that man Mr Perfect and his grandfather raised him to be! Brukk up Bo Dallas blodclart!!!!

That’s f**ked up! All that talk, all that fire in his belly, and Bo Dallas still beat Curtis Axel in his hometown? Er Vince… get the future endeavoured list out…

hiac-laidies

Braun Strowman has the list! He gave it him like… Sami Zayn is not on the list.. and after all that, Strowman made the list!

Oh dear the crowd didn’t like Roman Reigns promo to Rusev! Well you know Roman… he’s straight to the point, no-nonsense… no charisma either… oh well…

Titus – How you manage to wear good suit with those pink battyman socks? What sort of sh!t is that?

Contract signing between sexy @$$ Charlotte and sexy @$$ Sasha! OOOOH Charlotte’s figure… dayum she can join the list too! look at that tight @$$ outfit Sasha got on! She can join the list too! OHHHHHH!!!!GRANT BODY PHENOM

Thank god Mick Foley is true to himself, don’t wear those ridiculous suits or whatever it is WWE force you to wear!

That’s it Mick, let these women see sense about this Hell In A Cell sh!t, they think they fear nothing because they are not fighting Undertaker… seems like Charlotte ain’t listening! Maybe Undertaker himself should come out for real! Sound the gong… come on!

I know that’s what I would do if I was creative…

Foley is trying his best to let these women see reality…sounding a bit like Mankind himself…. he won the crowd over…he’s close to tears here! THIS SEGMENT IS OFF THE HOOK! Now sound the gong… Please!!!!!

They have signed the contract! It’s official! Man… it’s a damn shame Undertaker is not in the best of health as far as his hips. I would have flown him to Minneapolis and strike fear in these women, because if there is one thing I dislike, is WWE Superstars acting like they are not afraid of the cell and take this thing make joke.

Wow – Kendrick and Rich Swann shook hands before their contest! I guess it’s just a personal issue between Kendrick and TJ Perkins!

Wow – TJ says he and Kendrick had a contest 15 years ago, and Kendrick failed to beat him. So this is an ‘ether’ situation…

OH SNAP! Rich Swann defeated Kendrick! Er… can we make this a triple threat thing?

Braun Strowman finally gets better competition! Can Sami Zayn twist him up?

What? Braun doesn’t see real competition? Sami fought the best in Shinsuke Nakumura! He had match of the year with Cesaro! ARE YOU KIDDIN ME STROWMAN? YOU CAN’T WRESTLE NUH BLODCLART!

GRANT BODY-P! –

Strowman walked away from Zayn! Well the Grant Says – I know it’s the video game, but why don’t you take on Grant in WWE2K17? I assure you – YOU WILL GET BUSS ARSE!

Dayum Kendrick is desperate isn’t he? What – he asked TJ Perkins to ‘let him win’? Er Vince… the future endeavoured list!!!!!!

When you hear that guitar riff…. THAT’S IT! THE BEAST INCARNATE IS HERE! Yo – I never told Goldberg to say what he said the last week!

Now bear in mind, Goldberg gonna get booed because it’s in Brock’s hometown!

Oh no! Heyman just put wrestling fans on blast for being fickle! It’s like 80% are chanting Suplex City and 20% are chanting Goldberg!

I see somebody holding a Damian Marley poster! He knows what time it is!

I thought Brock had choice words for Goldberg, then again… bad man move in silence…

I forgot about this so-called Triple Threat match… if the title isn’t on the line, you know Owens and Jericho are gonna combine their force and mash-up Rollins!

Even though it’s gonna be a cheesy @$$ Halloween episode of RAW next week, we got Goldberg again! That’s good!

Rollins is certainly no Austin or Rock – they would be putting beats on Jericho and Owens!

‘No mortal man’s gonna beat them both’… Bryon Saxton obviously doesn’t do his googles er – hello – the two aforementioned guys? Triple TEEF maybe? Undertaker?????? Goldberg? BRROCCCK LESNAR???

HOW THE RARSE DID SETH ROLLINS PIN BOTH GUYS? Yo Saxton – your foolish statement should get you on the list!

Dun know Owens and Jericho didn’t like that sh!t – they rushed him! But Rollins still got fight left! But it only ended in Owens dropping the powerbomb to Rollins spine first into the hardest part of the ring apron – BLAOW!

That was a good go-home RAW.. here’s me thinking I would have to skip a segment and talk about this chick who WWE just gave a tryout to…

elena

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#WHOEVERLOSESIWIN

IT DON’T GET NO BETTER! STC 4 LIFE…..BEEEEEEEATCHHHHH!

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