Monday Night Raw #1271, October 9, 2017!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Now I could start this sh!t off by saying Columbus Day this, Columbus Day that  but F**K ALL THAT – I enjoyed the Hell In A Cell… best matches since… Brock Vs Undertaker two years ago? Nah Nah – Dean Ambrose Vs Seth Rollins was the one right there!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like STC/PWL’s Robert Ashford – All this confused admiration with John Cena – It ain’t that deep homie! Somebody get this Robert dude some pu$$@y!!!!

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RAW 1271! To normal jabronies, its Columbus Day. To us WWE fans, it’s EDDIE GUERRERO DAY! SALUTE THIS MAN!

Steph Raw

WE ARE IN INDIANAPOLIS! Where it all started for The Shield, where it all ended for The Shield, and could it start all over again?

Why is the Miz doing this Mizzie sh!t again? I think I want the Shield to come down the stairs now!

Oh snap – Bo Dallas got buss arse so much he’s sitting at home like a beeatch!

Just think – Cesaro and Sheamus were at each other’s throats, one year later they are winning awards and sh!t! I’d give them an award for their entrance alone!

AAAAAAAAH SHEEEEEEEEEET!!!! The Shield are BACK!!! Minus the swat gear but that’s ok! THE SAGA CONTINUES! They have formed like Voltron! WROOOOOOOOOOY! The Miz! The Bar! the Shield! It’s all ruckus now! BUMBACLAAAAAAAAT!!!! Look at the Miz’s face! He’s like – A WHA DE RARSE! THE CROWD ARE GOING NUTS!!!

HERE WE GO! OOOOOOOWWWWAAAAA! TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO THE MIZ – BLAOW!!!

JUST LIKE THAT! THE MIZ IS THE B!TCH OF THE WEEK!

OFFICIAL! The Miz & The Bar Vs The Shield! TLC MATCH! AAAAAH SHEEEEEET! I couldn’t give a f**k about Elias and walking with that muthaf***a – he ain’t Hip Hop!

GRANT BODY-P!

YES! Titus f**ked up Elias rhythm! I wanna walk with Titus Worldwide! Apollo best beat this muthaf***a this time!

F**K! Apollo lose again… damn Apollo – did you p!$$ McMahon off? I knew he should never have come to RAW…

Sugar Ray Amore??? But him nah defend him title yet????

The heartbreaking thing about Enzo is – he makes all these Hip Hop references in his promos… so me personally – I cannot hate him like you lot!

You gotta be kidding me! Enzo is in the main event of RAW! 3 weeks running! Enzo Vs Kalisto – lumberjack match for the Cruiserweight title!! Come on son – Enzo has made this sh!t mad compelling!

I know these Hardy Boyz are fearless but Matt Hardy – TURN BACK!!! You don’t want none of BRAAAAUUUUUUUUN!

I think Braun is merely playing with Matt here! he’s gonna be BROKEN for sure after this! Did Matt p!$$ off Vince as well?

A LIE! Matt Hardy hit the Twist Of Fate to Strowman! Dude kicked out at 1! Matt  just get yourself disqualified and….oh too late – Strowman hit the running powerslam – BLAOW!!

HOLY SMOKES! THE SHIELD HAVE RUSHED STROWMAN! THEY MIGHT HAVE A FIGHTING CHANCE THIS TIME!

DOUBLE R HIT THE SPEAR – BLAOW!

OH MY DAYS! THEY SET UP THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!

TRIPLE POWERBOMB TO STROWMAN THROUGH THE TABLE – BLAOW!!!

ROMAN REIGNS FEEL GOOD NOW – HE’S GETTING CHEERED!

GRANT BODY-P!

…and now we got Mickie James! And I am so glad she ain’t skipping to the ring anymore – I hated that sh!t!

“I have more energy in my body than you have hair extensions and pink hair dye!” YES! Mickie James speaks the truth! Mickie needs to bring that energy over here!

GRANT BODY-P!GRANT WWDJC2

I’m all about the older women!!! It’s been my track record since I was 21!

Oh sh!t – Mickie got the crowd chanting ‘biscuit butt’ to Alexa! I take it that means she has NO SHAPE!

SERIOUSLY?? Bayley, Sasha and Alicia want to go agains… wait a second – Dana & Emma want in!

Fatal 5 way match for the opportunity to face Asuka at the TLC joint! But the question remains – where Nia Jax at? Er… she DID FOLLOW our own Shadfather on the twitter… The Grant says – Shad knows all the answers Sway!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH NO! Apparently Dean Ambrose’s mouth got The Shield in certain trouble! Apparently The Shield can take on the world, and for a second I did wonder – where does Braun Strowman fit on the TLC card! Now he joins The Miz & the Bar in the TLC match too?! Strowman counts as an extra 3 people!

Now this Sister Abigail situation! The Balor Club is not afraid of Sister Abigail! I know as hell I’m not!

HOLY SMOKES – A WHA DAT?!!! I take that back – Sister Abigail looks ugly as f**k! It exists within Bray!

Not even Undertaker & Kane have forced Bray to send for Abigail!

Big up to the Perfect Plex Talk Radio – they are straight taking the p!$$! Calling Bray Wyatt – a tranny and sh!t!

Now – does the winner of this match REALLY WIN? I mean, they fight Asuka… With this in mind – I’m backing Dana or Emma, because it started with them in NXT!

WHOA! Ok hold up – Dana and Bayley eliminated! Emma is still in this thing! COME ON EMMA!

YES!!!! EMMA IS THROUGH!!! It is only right!!!!

Big up to Kalisto! He’s dedicating this match to Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio! COME ON KALISTO!

Eddie ISP

Picture courtesy of Iron Skull Productions

There is no way Enzo can win surely? Big Cass ain’t gonna come and save him is he???

Wait a second the heel cruiserweights putting the boots on Kalisto – isn’t the idea to brukk up Enzo’s blodclart? Enzo may have a fighting chance here!

Oh no! the lumberjacks are causing ruckus outside! What happened to unity and all that? Kalisto just hit a superplex to Enzo to the outside landing on everybody! WHOA!

At least Mustafa Ali had the idea and kept the objective at hand – prevent Enzo from walking out of Indianapolis with the title!

YES! The Kalisto Del Sol! Kalisto – NEW WORLD WRESTLING FEDERATION CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPION!

RAW WAS OFF THE HOOK! WWE DID EDDIE PROUD STAR! YEAH MAN!

Smackdown.. I’m gonna pray for ya!

JAMMS

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