Monday Night Raw #1289, February 5, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

Eagles Patriots Super Bowl Football

SMASHED IT.

I gotta give WWE props, I’m sure Stephanie and Triple Teef were supporting the New England Patriots… but if they turned around and gave the Philadelphia Eagles a WWE Championship belt for their Superbowl win  – PROPS. Steph and Triple WILL NOT complain on the internet…

GRANT BODY-P!

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RAW 1289! The Royal Rumble still trending on the twitter! UNHEARD OF!

Steph RawI don’t know what Bray Wyatt is laughing about – he’s fighting Double R to qualify in the Chamber…yeah he won last year… BUT THAT WAS LAST YEAR!

That’s it fools – pull out your iPhones that you break on a regular for this LOOOOOSER! You bloody sheep!

GRANT BODY-P!

Listen to the haters cheering for Bray,,,, I would be extremely shocked if Bray wins this. Matt Hardy is watching for goodness sakes!

Double R kicks out of an instant Sister Abigail… now you know the muthaf***a ain’t winning!

Just like that, with an emphatic spear… Double R wins… go on then – complain on the internet!

Finn Balor might be the most interesting cat on the roster. This dude is not in the chamber… so I wanna know where he goes next going forward.

Oh no these Revival idiots… I hope one of em gets injured again (Actually I take that back!)

Hahahahhahahahahah Revival you B!TCH!!! Finn Balor hitting the Coup De Grace – I see you wrestling purists complaining on the internet some more! Go on – let it all out!

Not even an hour in and RAW is challenging my interest – I still have a lifeline left – Jamaica ginger cake and custard….

Cruiserweight action… sigh… I’m gonna talk to my woman…

Ok – Mandy Rose – Sasha Banks – Bayley  – Sonya Deville – and Mickie James gonna test Alexa Bliss in the Chamber!

Even better – if Nia Jax can defeat Asuka…she can go to WrestleMania too! But hear the joke – Asuka hasn’t decided who she’s facing yet!

WHOA! Alexa just put Kurt Angle on BLAST! How come Brock doesn’t have to defend his title in the Chamber!!! She should be ‘Brock’s equal’ in terms of gender equality! Er Alexa… you might wanna check Brock’s contract! It’s NOT THE SAME AS YOURS!

Last time I check, Bayley got hurt crazy when she had her NXT match with Asuka… what makes her think she can beat Asuka now?

This is one of those RAW episodes where it is very wrestling driven… not much storyline build. Don’t be surprised if I find my bed halfway through.

So let’s do the knowledge – Kurt believes Asuka will fight Alexa at WM34. But Asuka nah say nuttin… Nia WON’T win her match against Asuka, but her performance will find her in the match at WrestleMania anyway. Sasha is likely to win to advance to WrestleMania thus, this will AT LEAST be a Triple Threat match.

Asuka made quicker work of Bayley than she did with Sasha I can say that much…

HOLD UP! The Miz Vs Apollo Crews – winner goes to the Chamber? COME ON APOLLO!!! This could be HUGE!

I am tired as a muthaf***a people… this wrestling sh!t is boring me… are you sure you guys want pure wrestling on your screen? I’m gonna eat this pudding, and then find my bed – I’ve been watching Nicole Snow and Sophia Lares on Edd’s favourite channels during this wrestling sh!t… word up!

God damnit… not even Black History month could save Apollo Crews… well at least we get to see The Miz get BUSS ARSE in the Chamber!

Look pon this… Jason Jordan can’t compete… but at least he found a suitable replacement… DOUBLE R!!!!

What I don’t understand is… why is Jason Jordan at ringside? I mean, unless the Bar were being teef which I don’t think they were – he doesn’t need to be out there!

His intentions were good but he got ketch by the ref!!!! You baited it up for The Shield YOU FOOL!!!! As much of a loose cannon Ambrose is, he wouldn’t have struck The Bar in front of the referee?!

Wait a minute – since when were we watching Live Wire? or Velocity, or even Wrestling Challenge??? I didn’t know that no name jobber were still a thing for Nia Jax? have the creative team gone on holiday or something? I know it’s Black History Month/J Dilla season but…

Nia Jax wants to disfigure Asuka! NO!!! I mean… can’t they come to some mutual agreement?

I hope Mickie James hasn’t broken Sonya Deville’s nose!!! Look how fine Sonya is – come on Mickie – stop this wrestling nonsense and GET IN THAT TONGUE!GRANT MARKIES BARNERS

GRANT BODY-P!

Maybe Alexa Bliss wants to get in that tongue of Mickie! Yeah I’m scratching my head too – Absolution was gonna beat down Mickie, and Alexa saved her clart??? Mickie is looking at Alexa like – A WHA DE???

If you jabronies hated the Prince fiasco at the Superbowl and complained on the internet about it, maybe you would rather walk with Elias instead? He would have done great at the Halftime joint?!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

Imagine! Elias in the Raw main event, and he combines his force with John Cena to take out the Monster Among Men…

Don’t ask me how he did it… (well I do I just watched it) but Elias will enter last in the Chamber by defeating the worn out Cena after he took a powerslam from Braun Strowman!

So er.. yeah, it was a RAW with plenty wrestling action. not much storyline and jokes… and that sort of sh!t bores me…

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.