Monday Night Raw #1301, April 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

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Imagine! I’m supposed to talk about how Titus O Neill became a Shame of a Nation at the Greatest Royal Rumble… but someone from the Smack Talk Centre decides to tag me in the picture above… NIAAAAA JAAAAAAXXXX! She’s just baaaaaaaad! Imagine her riding your tings! Whining those hips! I am so surprised Redman hasn’t shown up to a WWE event yet… imagine a storyline with Nia & Redman… it would be the best ever!

Redman approves

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…AMBER RUDD. Now she knows what it feels like to be signing on at the Job Centre. I hope they take away her benefits, evict her, and send her back to… Timbuktu!!

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RAW 1301! I haven’t done this blogging thing in a while, lets see if I still got it!

Jerry Lawler calls it Bizarro Land, I call it THE PROMISED LAND! The home of my real life woman (Hi Leanna!) RAW is in Canada, and they are booing the hell out of Roman Reigns!

Come on Canada – it’s not like he retired The Undertaker!!!!

Oh dear! Canada you might as well start cheering Reigns – you boo Samoa Joe and now you boo Jinder Mahal!

Jinder Mahal believes he can win the Universal Championship! Wait – Sami Zayn gets cheered!!!! Well that’s alright then! we didn’t wanna boo him anyway!

Oh no – they might boo Bobby Lashley – he prevented Zayn from going to the Greatest Royal Rumbles! They might chant ‘YOU SCREWED BRET’ er I mean ZAYN!

GRANT BODY-P!

And now they cheer Kevin Owens! Would this technically mean Danny Bryan would get booed??? Answers on a postcard please! Tweet me – @MZATheInfamous!

Well at least the crowd wanna see Roman Reigns fight! He gets butts in the seats!!!

Trust in Braun to clean house! He gets cheered – Can’t go wrong!

Oh no – Elias in concert? I didn’t pay to see him? I’m still hurt I didn’t get to see Killah Priest and Lords Of The Underground!!!

I gotta give Elias his props, I don’t think he was meant to get this over with the fans…

Oh no Bobby Roode f**ked up his throat! Elias announces himself as the winner… it would have been even better if Elias sent for the guitar and started singing about Roode’s throat! That would have been TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!

Wait a minute – two local French Canadian wannabe La Resistance fools wanna get buss arse by The Authors Of Pain?? They got entrance music too! WHOA! Did Barry Horowitz get that sh!t? Answers On A Postcard please!

Charly Caruso did ask the fools why…. they should have told her the truth – they wanna get a quick $3000!

GRANT BODY-P!

You know some fool at the Chiarshot  FB wrestling group asked – why Seth Rollins didn’t help join the six man tag match with Reigns & Lashley against Mahal & Sami & Kevin later? FOLLOW THE STORYLINE! WRESTLING IS STORYLINE! See that’s why fans don’t make any sense when they claim to book better than the official bookers! (Not saying that the WWE Bookers are perfect – they’re not) but fans are just that – FANS! KNOW YOUR ROLE!

I don’t think even Seth Rollins was prepared for this ovation! Anyone would think he was inducted in the Hall of Fame!

Ok enough of this French talk from the guys – let’s hear it from the women! (Not you Alexa you’re ugly)

GRANT BODY-P!

The crowd is crazy!!!! There’s probably some idiot sitting behind the computer screen like – ‘I want the attitude era’ back…

I can’t believe Curtis Axel & Bo Dallas wanted to form the 4 Horsemen with Balor and Seth! That’s disrespect to Flair! They must want Flair to take off his clothes in disgust!

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Oh yeah that goes for Ruby Riot – Do NOT SPEAK French!

But Sasha – you can speak French all day!!! OH YEAH!!!

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Even the boss lady was no match for the Riott Squad. She and Bayley (and maybe somebody else – Rousey maybe?) should stop being b!tches and combine their force!

Now I was gonna retire to my bed because I am mad tired – but yo – Titus is coming on! The star!!!!

But just before that – Alexa wants sympathy – she gets NONE FROM ME! As far as I’m concerned – she can GET THE F**K OUTTA HERE with her crocodile tears! And I hope she BURNS IN HELL!!!!

GRANT BODY-P!

“This is for everybody who had a ‘Nia’ in their life”… Well THE GRANT SAYS – if ‘Nia’ looks like that – I WANT HER IN MY LIFE! GOD DAYUUUUUUUM!

Titus admitted that he took the L! What a good sport!! He’s smiling too! As usual Baron Corbin is hating… watch this – Corbin gonna lose!

As for Woken Matt Hardy & Wyatt… YAAWWWWWWNNN look at the time! Past my bedtime! (Nothing to do with the RAW Tag Team Champions, I am actually genuinely tired.) Goodnight wrestling fans, don’t let the Double R bugs bite you in your basement @$$!

GRANT WWDJC2

Good morning True wrestling fans! Welcome back, and I hope you are still joining in at home. I wake up this morning praising the lord for another day, but also contemplating how to get that God Of War game… like I want the game but I have so much going on I don’t want to regret it financially. Anyway enough rambling on, let’s watch the rest of RAW! Where’s my coffee at?

Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler think every superstar should be afraid… I don’t know about you but when you have guys like Bray Wyatt, Matt Hardy, The Authors of Pain, Bobby Lashley & Braun around… this is the part where I become my favorite superhero as I say this:

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I know everyone’s favourite hero is Thanos right now… sorry – Blade is STILL DA MAN!

OH NO!!!!! Titus clearly using his misfortune and turning it into a positive to f**k up Baron Corbin! No Way Jose caught Corbin with a distraction roll up! I know Shadfather & Icy Fresh loves those! I think Corey Graves is on to something… No Way Jose joining Titus Worldslide??? I could slide to that!!!

I so cannot wait to see Alexa Blitch get BUSS ARSE by Nia Jax again! Alexa got life though this week because if Ronda Rousey ketch haar Alexa would be in a box! And we don’t want that now do we lads? It would be a sad day for you while I be Thanos laughing in your face!

GRANT BODY-P!

Great wrestling contest between Seth Rollins and Finn Balor – well do we expect anything less? Reversals galore, near falls, beautiful! Unlucky Balor – But you don’t have a match at Backlash though… er uh-oh! Therin lies WWE’s problem! So much talent its unreal.

A team with Double R, Lashley and Braun… there’s no way Sami Jinder and Kevin can beat them surely???

OH NO NOT AGAIN! Every time Sami & Kevin find their feet on the outside, Braun knocks them down again! But this move in WWE2K19 PLEASE!!!!! Make it a OMG! Moment! Because that sh!t is too funny!

Now…it’s gonna hurt me, but if I want God of War, Burnout Paradise will have to leave the building temporarily. Just like business, you have to make tough decisions. John and Nikki know all about tough decisions…

GRANT BODY-P!

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