Monday Night Raw #1303, May 14, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!


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Now Nia… I commend you for this! But do you realise what you’ve done? You got people complaining on the internet!


REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…Sienna from Hollyoaks! THAT ENDING THOUGH! If you’re a Hollyoaks fan… YOU KNOW!

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RAW 1303! We’re playing for England {In-ger-land}
We’re playing the song
We’re singing for England {In-ger-land}
Arrivederci its one on one!!!!

You know what? I can’t be bothered to watch live now. The streams ain’t working, I’m getting a hundred pop up pages, it’s annoying me so you know what? I’m gonna play God of War… how about that???

So the lord has blessed me with another glorious day! When it’s sunny like this and the women are looking hot – YOU DON’T NEED TO COMPLAIN ON THE INTERNET! One man who is complaining though… is Sami Zayn.

“Bobby Lashley targeted me because he wants to be me…” Er Sami believe me – Lashley DOES NOT want to be you!!! Lashley looks like that dude who tears up women’s pu$$!£$ on Redtube….


So now Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel call themselves ‘The B-Team’???? You gotta be kidding me?! OH SNAP THEY BEAT BREEZANGO! AH LIE!!!

Er what? They are coming for the Tag championships? They are over with the fans? What sort of planet am I living on? Answers on a postcard please!

I see a fan in the crowd wearing a Rusev Day shirt… that man is GAY. Yeah I said it… you know why? Look how fine Natalya, Ember Moon & Sasha Banks are. All three of em would get the D. You mean to tell me that when they defeated the Riot Squad he was there doing the Matt Hardy DELETE gesture? He must be one of those fans who wants Roman Reigns to turn heel and start wearing trunks and sh!t…


They call it the KISS OF DELETION?! I’m not sure the B TEAM are ready for this! Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt just gave the Revival props for their wrestling skill, but they are reduced to jobbers, and it’s a sad sight…. to you that is… but to me it’s… WONNNNDERFULLL!

The Monster Among Men and the Demon King Vs Drew Wackintyre & Dolph Ziggler? Oh boy… this is the ‘complain on the internet’ match… by that I mean whoever loses, guaranteed fans will not be happy!

Oh snap! Ziggler and Wackintyre got the win!!! Something tells me it was a good job I didn’t watch this live…

Oh no! Kurt Angle is adapting to the ways of the Authority! You know that evil Triple Teef is grinning backstage!

So now… Bobby Lashley, Elias and Jinder Mahal are gonna fight – winner goes to Money In the Bank… the way the storyline is going – Elias has got this!



Double R wants in! The crowd is saying NO! (er fans… eventually, dude WILL win that title… IN-EV-IT-A-BIL-ITY!!!) Then you can complain on the internet and go to that ALL IN thing on September where you can REALLY get your jerk on!


WHOA! Double R is LOCKED OFF the Money In the Bank Ladder match! Damn that’s cold! He says he gotta do what he has to do!!! AAAAH SHEEEEEEEET!!!

I thought Bobby Roode already qualified for Money in The Bank??? No matter… he’s and that’s cool!

Alexa Blitch joins Charlotte Flair and Ember Moon in the women’s joint! This is looking good! At the moment… Ember is still my pick… but if Asuka gets involved.. it might be worries!

Kevin Owens answered the Intercontinental Open Challenge! And got a Falcon Arrow on the hardest part of the canvas for his trouble! Tries to recover, and Rollins clocked him with the Curb Stomp! BLAOW!!! Unlucky Owens!

Turns out Jinder Mahal was ready for Double R!!! And the fight is on backstage!

It took the management long enough to break up the fight!!! Double R wanted to take Mahal out the game!!! Mahal all bandaged up… he should be aiiight…dude is in pain though!

Sunil: Jinder are you alright?

Jinder: I’m good… I’m good…


Kevin Owens replaces Jinder Mahal! Ok I’m not so sure who gonna win this Triple Threat qualifier now!

Er what – They are booing Bobby Lashley? SERIOUSLY??? Ok I’m lost! What did he DOOOOOOOOOOO????

Owens took advantage of a situation! I just wanna take this time to the young lady (pictured below) who was talking to me on Facebook last night while RAW was on, we got big plans going forward for you hip hop heads… From what YouTube have shown me… WWE RAW you have to come better than that! I would have been bored out my brains!


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