Monday Night Raw #1304, May 21, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

MEGHAN NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

I just wanna take this time to big up Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. The Duke and Duchess of Sussex… Some sound advice from the Infamous Informer: Get your own supply at ALL TIMES. Learn Shaolin Kung Fu, some wrestling moves (strong style with a bit of Undertaker style preferred) and invest in some vibranium! YOU SAW THE LOOK THE QUEEN GAVE YOU??!!! She wants to KILL!!!!

Queen death look

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…Meghan’s daddy. How come he couldn’t walk her down the aisle? He fell ill days before the wedding… Like Busta Rhymes I’m saying HMMMMMMMM….

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RAW 1304! I’m on the YouTube tip… I have been told it wasn’t that hot…

Say what? Baron Corbin like to collect human skulls?? Since when did this head reclining muthaf***a become the predator?

GRANT BODY-P!

No Way Jose lose again! I mean… was he called up from NXT to be a jobber??? Not good for you homie!

Have we gotta watch The B-Team Vs Breezango again??? Oh that’s ok – it didn’t last long – Breezango acting like a faggot as usual cost him the match, and now the B Team are rolling around on the canvas like Billy & Chuck… Lord help me…

Chad Gable is going nowhere fast… sorry kid, you need your bredrin back. American Alpha should never have split up. And that’s real.

Bobby Roode Vs Elias again?!!! What is this – The best of seven series????

The beef between Double R & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Continues! (see when you mention the modern-day mararrrrrrraja you have to say – Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL!

Kevin Owens & Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Putting the beats to Double R when suddenly – BURN IT DOWN!!!!! Seth Rollins sends for the tandem engine!!!

DISRESPECT!!!! Sami Zayn gets guys to dress up in drag to diss Bobby Lashley? Are you serious right now… Ok fans – you are allowed to complain on the internet… If I was the crowd I would walk out word up…

WTF is Lashley wearing? Looks like some tight up sh!t… NO LASHLEY! Wear Roc-a-Wear jeans! What a good thing I didn’t watch this sh!t last night…

Let’s move on to the nicer things in life… The LADIES!!!!

Ember Moon Vs Alexa Bliss – I hope Ember beats out Alexa’s blodclart!

Mickie James tried to teef by taking off her show and lickin’ Ember Moon with it! Hey you’re not Ember’s mother??!!! Brings back memories!!!

GRANT BODY -P!

Mickie got ketch by the referee! God dayuuuum Mickie OWWWWWWWWWWW!! Ref – send her to my yard!! Girl looking fine like that – dayuuuuuuuuuuum!PIC_0038

Alexa tried a distraction roll up! Ember Moon BEXXXXXXXXXXXXX!!! Alexa ‘fraid now!

Ember Moon hit the Eclipse – BLAOW!!!! That’s my girl! EMBER MOON!!!

Wait a minute… Ronda Rousey gets a title shot against Nia Jax and suddenly Stephanie shows up??? I smell a rat here!

Kurt Angle & Stephanie in the ring… the intense sexual chemistry is still there! These two cannot lie to me!

Now look what you done Stephanie… you gone and mentioned Roman Reigns name…

I don’t know about you guys but I like Double R’s ‘Samoan Temper’! Yeah Stephanie – watch your tone girl! Or d!ck in your mouth!

GRANT BODY-P!

“You don’t want me near that Universal Championship, or that Money In the Bank contract…” Er Double R… you couldn’t be more wrong!!

Ha! Ha! Haaaaaaaaah! Look at Kevin Owens! putting his arm on Stephanie’s shoulder! Stephanie looks like she gonna say – GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME you McDonalds eating Jeremy Kyle muthaf***a!

Well she did… not in so many words!

Am I seeing right? Dana Brooke is in the ring fighting??? STOP PRESS! STOP THE ROYAL HONEYMOON! Harry if you are having sexual intercourse with Meghan STOP and PULL OUT RIGHT NOW! THIS IS HUGE!

GRANT BODY-P!

Natalya joins Alexa, Becky, Charlotte & Ember in the Money in the Bank ladder Match! Fantastic!

Yes the sequence of events are muddled up – I’m just going by what YouTube showed me ok?!!! I do have the common sense to know that the Kurt/Steph/Roman/Owens segment came on first leading to a singles match which ended in Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! being teef which made Seth Rollins Burn It down and now it’s turned into a tag match!

Jinder Mahal. JINDER MAHAL! Couldn’t take the pressure! The Shield won the match but dude is beating them down with steel chairs!

I don’t understand why Braun Strowman and Finn Balor are fighting each other but this is what we have! Braun Strowman tried that running around the ring sh!t but Balor was ready for him – Slingblade!!!

Oh man! Finn Balor giving Strowman such a fight that Strowman had to pull down his straps! Not even Brock Lesnar has made him do that!

Look at Stephanie trying to stir the pot with the contract signing! Something tells me Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax are gonna rush Stephanie and beat out her blodclart! At least that’s how I would armchair book it!

Stephanie thinks Ronda will tek foot and gone out of WWE if Nia beats her! That’s f**ked up! I’m sure Ronda knew what she signed up for!

Look at Nia! She looks like the super meter is building within her!!!

Ronda Rousey is left-handed! My family believes that left handed people are some clever muthaf***az!

Maybe Stephanie’s plan worked! Contracts are signed, hands are shook, eyes locked on, and look in the middle in the background that evil Stephanie! Is there a picture of this?

ronda-rousey-nia-jax-contract-signing-mitb-raw-20035693-1280x0

STEPHANIE TEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!! That is straight VINCENT KENNEDY RIGHT THERE!

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