Monday Night Raw #1310, July 2, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

LIFE IS GOOD!

Germany are out of the World Cup because they are b!tches, the Wimbledon start and the women are running around the court with their little tennis skirts on showing their little panties…and my mixtape has dropped!

Sun is shining, women are looking sexy, and we still have internerds complaining about wrestling!

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…Japan in the World Cup… I’m telling you now – if Belgium defeat Brazil in the quarter finals… they have won this muthaf***a!

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RAW 1310! Let me get my coffee y’all, or should I get my Rockstar Energy Drink????

The first thing me hear is that Dolph Ziggler and Seth Rollins have an Iron Man match (30 minute) at the Extreme Rules joint… I hear some of you talking about ‘1 hour iron man match…’ but weren’t you the same muthaf***az who complain about the PPVs being too long? To I say this to you internerds…

SEAN PRICE - STFU

Wait a minute – Shayna Blayzer – what is she doing on RAW backstage??? Ooooooh the Summerslam storyline is prepped folks!!!!!

This whole thing with The Shield (Minus Ambrose) and Ziggler & Wackintyre makes me more and more convinced that Bobby Lashley is the one who is going to Summerslam to fight Lesnar (don’t let the dirt sheets and that stupid WrestleTalk show fool you) The whole ‘Lesnar derailing plans bullsh!t is ALL STORYLINE.’ It’s the Summerslam Storyline! I’m not buying any of that sh!t!

Oh no not Dr Shelby???? Ok this sh1t worked for Danny Bryan & Kane but how the rarse is this gonna work?

Why are Wyatt & Hardy allowing this foolishness to continue with The B Team? I have said for weeks now – SEND FOR THE ULTIMATE DELETION! Until that time I will speak NO MORE about this!

It hurts my brain to see such a talented brother in Apollo Crews, doing what he does in the ring, knowing full well that either he or Titus will eat the pin from the Authors of Pain… no shame in losing to them but it’s like yo… these guys should be serious contenders and sh!t!

“Suck up your PRIDE, give me respect and apologise…”

Really Baron Corbin? You gonna use the word PRIDE to a guy who’s T-shirt makes a positive impact and support to the LGBT community???

GRANT BODY-P!

Wait a minute I don’t understand this – if The Revival beat Roman Reigns & Bobby Lashley last week, why are they still tryna beat down Reigns during his match with Rollins Vs Wackintyre and Ziggler?

(Oh I forgot… I’m catching up on YouTube and they don’t put sh!t in order!)

See right here with the combined force of Revival, Wackintyre & Ziggler – could summon the return of Dean Ambrose… hmmm… am I on to something here???

Meanwhile at this anger management sh1t… this to me is just a way to delay creative’s decision on who turns evil out of Bayley & Sasha – I dun told you jabronies neither have turned heel – it’s just a Bayley Vs Sasha situation… THAT’S IT! You know like it was for Brock Vs Undertaker back in 2015?

You know what – I don’t think Dr Shelby can handle these two, word up! He managed to get a ‘goat looking guy’ and a ‘monster who sets things on fire’ to hug but these two women gonna make him wear straight jacket by next week surely!

I got nothing much to say about Ember Moon Vs Liv Morgan apart from two things – 1 – Liv Morgan sold that Total Eclipse move like a BOSS and 2 – God DAYUUUUUUM Ember you fine! In fact f**k that – where’s that Alex Scott chick?

SPORT-PREVIEW-alex-scott

IDGAF – This woman is EVERY FOOTBALL FAN’S DREAM if you don’t fancy this woman – I’m telling you now – you sir are GAY!

GRANT BODY-P!

I’m a firm believer in one on one but this Mojo Rawley is a reptile – the whole of No Way Jose’s crew should rush this muthaf***a and beat out his blodclaaat!

Oh no! Extreme Rules match between Nia Jax and Alexa Blitch! Alexa’s pretty face is gonna get ruined….!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! KILL HER! KILL THE B!TCH! Ronda Rousey gonna be ringside too? TAKE MY MONEY!

See Bobby Lashley claims Roman Reigns would not be THE GUY if Lashley was here during the 10 years, well THE GRANT SAYS – neither would you Lashley… you know why? Lets be real – BECAUSE YOU’RE BLACK!!!! Vincent Kennedy might as well be that dude in that ‘I’m not racist’ video!

Oh dear! Double R is not being professional! Lashley’s intentions are good but Double R is having none of it! Remember boys and girls, he’s not a good guy or a bad guy is he?

..and because of Roman’s ignorance, he would rather get buss arse by The Revival than tag in Bobby Lashley… WOW!

You know I gotta save the best for last right? Braun Strowman Vs Kevin Owens… I’m guessing Kevin must have taken the train or something to get to work because he got no car now!

Kevin Owens car

Hang on – Kevin is running away? But his shirt says FIGHT ANYONE!!! Er….

Kevin is hiding in the toilet? Why would he do that? Is that his way of saying ‘he’s sh1ttin himself?’

OH NO! Braun disguised his voice and Kevin Owens got ketch! Now Braun is taping up the toilet! This is shades of Austin and Goldust surely?

Kevin Owens is like ‘ NO PLEASE!!!! ‘ I’m deddin already!!!

I guess Braun is gonna show mercy! Kevin doesn’t deserve this!

“You still in there Kevin???”

That has to be the lyric of the night! Don’t you get the joke? He locked Kevin in there all that time! Kevin can’t move!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

BRAUN TOOK A RUN UP! AND CHARGED HIMSELF INTO THE PORTABLE TOILET OFF THE STAGE!!! KEVIN IS PROBABLY DEAD BY NOW!!!!

I’M DUN!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH!!!

ROFL

THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!! THERE’S PEOPLE IN THERE!!!!!!!

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.