Monday Night Raw #1314, July 30, 2018!!!

Smack Talk Centre-Raw!!

I just wanna go on record and say – Brock Lesnar: I’m on your side! If my contract doesn’t require me to be at work on certain days… you think I’m gonna turn up on my days off? YOU CRAZY? If I was you, I would grab every dumb wrestling fan and take them to SUUUUUUPLEXXXX – CITTTTY!!!! As if they could take the Universal Championship from you anyway… the same title they claim to hate because of the design…

GRANT BODY-P!

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REQUEST TO JOIN – DON’T BE A POTATO! DON’T BE A TRAGEDY like…New Jack. Seriously people – what is wrong with that fool? Is his wife not giving him the pu$$y any more??? That goes for Sabu as well. If you got nothing good to say – simply put –

SEAN PRICE - STFU

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RAW 1314! On this day in 2015 my first niece Jamyla was born. What a celebration we had. All you can eat chinese buffet plus a marvellous birthday cake for the hyperactive wonder. Mi belly full now… let’s watch some of this wrestling sh!t!

Do you know what’s wrong with this picture? Mojo Rawley is talking down to all the jobbers in the locker room, and while they ARE technically jobbers now, they shouldn’t be… I’m talking about THE ASCENSION. Everybody remembers out good these muthaf***az were and how intimidating they were in NXT… now they are being talked down to by MOJO RAWLEY? Good thing Bobby Roode is about to talk sense into this fool!

Not that anybody noticed but the announce team are calling him ‘Apollo Crews’… remember there was a time when WWE locked off the CREWS part of the name because some idiot shot up a school or somewhere like that killing people and had that same name?

Just for the record – glad he won that match against Akam… sick of this dude losing and sh!t!

RECORD SKIP???! Elias just said he dropped the greatest album of all time? Has he gone KANYE on the WWE Universe??? I think he has!

Walk With Elias: the album – DON’T BUY THAT SH!T!!!

Maybe every week I shall recommend a new album you guys should buy! And starting this week, THE GRANT recommends this:

114425-supreme-blientele

WESTSIDE GUNN – SUPREME BLIENTELE! Plenty Wrestling references throughout this project!

And NO I’m not watching Walk With Elias The Documentary – F**K THAT! Ain’t nobody got time for that!

I know Elias did not just call THE ROCK a LOWLIFE????? Elias has done it now! One of these days… when Elias is in the ring talking sh!t… and then suddenly this music hits

Sounds like to me he wants a sound clash with The Rock on a guitar on RAW!!! Now THAT would be good!

In the meantime, it looks like Bobby Lashley is now relegated to feuding with Elias instead of fighting Brock Lesnar…

You can now complain on the internet but pass by The Rock’s twitter… he hasn’t responded to Elias as of yet but I’m sure he will soon!

While Wyatt & Hardy do battle with The Revival, The B-Team reveal that the B stands for – BANDWAGON… if you know the Infamous Informer a.k.a. Grant Body-P! You will know that I DON’T JUMP ON BANDWAGONS… otherwise I would be booing Roman Reigns, my favourite wrestler would be Cesaro (no disrespect to him because he is good) and my wresssssssstlinggggg GODDDDD would be CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!

GRANT BODY-P!

Shout out to Charly Caruso…. OHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Charly Caruso

Right I’m not sure how the sequence of events goes, because YouTube mixes up sh!t… so here we go…

As soon as Paul Heyman said ‘Tell me you heard what Roman said about you’… I knew I had to switch that clip off and find out what Mr Reigns had to say for himself…

Bobby Lashley gets props from Double R! VERY GOOD! Now please don’t clash again!

You notice when Double R was talking sh!t he quickly spun around just in case Brock was behind him? I think you might be a little bit scared big dog!

“This is not a prediction, it’s a spoiler…” Why isn’t that marketed on T-Shirts????

Roman vows to send Brock back to the UFC! Can he do that???

Do you think The Backwoodsman magazine will start coming off the shelves now that Brock is endorsing that sh!t? (Yo that title doesn’t sound too right… Backwoodsman?????)

GRANT BODY-P!

Brock just broke Heyman’s phone!!! Oh no!!! How is Heyman gonna phone his moms to tell her he will be late for dinner?

Just like that Brock went back to reading his magazine! FANTASTIC! I LOVE THIS DUDE!

Oh no! If Brock doesn’t go to the ring… Heyman’s WWE contract shut down! LOCK OFF! You know Kurt ain’t afraid – the man went to war with Brock at WrestleMania! Hell – he went 60 minutes with the dude on a random Smackdown! Don’t believe me? WWE Network costs £9.99 a month! Free for first month! GO FIGURE!

What’s that magazine now he’s reading? American Frontiersman??? Have you heard of these publications people? I’m just waiting for Brock to read The Source Magazine!

OH SH!T! Brock is riding this storyline out – I LOVE IT! He wants a steak, medium well, with a baked potato, and steamed brocoli!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!! I might try that myself!

SUPERB! DOES HE WANT COLLARD GREENS & CHEESE WITH THAT?

Uh-oh!!!! Heyman – where is Brock’s steak? Medium Well? Baked Potato? Steamed Brocoli???? Not even a snickers? He’s not himself when he’s hungry!

Brock and Paul are not friends!!! Clearly Brock hasn’t forgotten about Survivor Series 2002!!!!!

This is some bullsh!t for real! How is Double R gonna leave the building? No wonder he box down Baron Corbin! The little b!tch!

Ronda still has her hair braided! NOT GOOD! Next week on RAW she fights Alicia Fox! I’m sure it’s the 10 year anniversary of Alicia’s career now surely! I’m sure it was around this time when she debuted, she kissed up Edge, Vickie found out and then she summoned THE UNDERTAKER!

Corbin is going IN against Finn Balor! I think enough is enough… Balor has to send for the demon! Do you know who BALOR is Corbin??? DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES?????

See we talk about WWE should introduce the women’s tag titles, do you think that’s where this Bayley/Sasha storyline is TRULY heading? I just had that revelation as soon as I saw Sasha’s backstabber into the Bayley to Belly supermove… very ‘Sweet Chin Music into the Pedigree’ don’t you think people?

Can you believe that we just had an episode of RAW where Kevin Owens and Braun Strowman were NOT the showstealers of the night! I know right!!!

Oh man Kurt Angle is going IN about what a real champion does! Come on internerds – this is your qualm! They are using this as a storyline to benefit YOU! But you still complain because it’s Reigns… y’all know Reigns would be a real champion but noooooo – you want CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM P- GET OFF HIS D!CK!

GRANT BODY-P!

OH SH!T! Kurt has locked off Heyman!!! This is bad! I’m gonna miss him…first Ellsworth, now this?

NOW Brock wants to come out! He didn’t get his medium well steak! His baked potato! His steamed brocoli! Not a snickers, not a supermalt, NOTHING! This is a starving man you are dealing with now!

F5 to Kurt Angle – BLAOW!!!! Corbin used his brain – he left the ring! He’s like – f**k that!

Hold on! Brock got Paul!

Heyman just said he can’t breathe! (I could reference Police Brutality here but nah – f**k that…)

Moral of the story – GET THE MAN HIS FOOD!

snickers

 

 

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DISCLAIMER: ALL OPINIONS EXPRESSED BY THE INFAMOUS INFORMER DO NOT NECESSARILY REPRESENT OR REFLECT THE VIEWS OF THE WWE OR/AND THE SMACK TALK CENTRE.